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Since I've been asked to have this out before the weekend, here ya go! I know, it's pretty short (compared to the length of other chapters) but there's apparently a huge storm coming my way starting tonight and lasting until Saturday or Sunday. And I have shitty internet so I also wanted to get this out to you guys today just in case I lose internet soon. Which... I probably will. Like light rain usually has the internet out. Gaah.

Damon was hardly surprised when Clarissa tilted over and promptly fell asleep on the table. He didn't like it when she slept, it reminded him too much of her being dead. Clarissa was a lively human, she fluttered about like a little hummingbird, chirping and singing, never keeping still. But asleep, she barely moved. Though he figured her body needed the rest as she never seemed to stop bouncing around. And it was so boring. He almost missed her when she was sleeping, as stupid as that was.

Maybe it had been irresponsible of him to have whisked her off to New York so late at night, but he needed to find out where the vervain was and in order to do that he needed Stefan to feel like Damon was a danger to Clarissa. Somewhere in the last few weeks, Stefan had become almost… friendlier with him. This would rip the cushioned comfort Stefan had settled into right out from under him. He might even ask Clarissa to play it up as well, see how far they could push Stefan into 'taking matters' into his own hands.

He had seen his opportunity and had taken it, suggesting leaving for New York had been an impulsive whim and a means to achieve his goal. He knew Clarissa didn't see much past the now, which he took full advantage of. She wasn't going to be prepared for the backlash of her easy agreement to take off with him, he knew how Stefan and his human Katherine look alike were going to react. But Damon couldn't find it in himself to care. Another part of himself, a selfish part, wanted to spend every possible moment he could with her, even if in the end it would end up being harmful to the both of them. He didn't have much time left with his little human, especially now that he had Emily's Talisman. Katherine would be free soon, and Damon didn't plan for them to stick around.

It was a quick seven hours, relatively speaking, though being in Clarissa's company was easy boarding on addictive. The very moment the city's skyline came into view, Clarissa had trailed off midsentence, almost as though she'd forgotten she was talking.

He watched her come to life, everything about her was alive and glowing. She was like the sun bursting through; bright, colorful and warm. Clarissa tilted her head in his direction and all of her brightness was aimed directly at him. He took in every inch of her face, from the freckles splattered across her nose, to the way her blue-gray eyes were lit, to the curve of her pink lips. Her smile was sweet and dazzling, spread across her pretty face like a tiny piece of sunshine, just for him, and him alone. Clarissa spoke his name adoringly, as though she were caressing each letter with her mouth and he wanted to be the only one who could bring her this happiness. The way she brought him that sort of happiness.

In that very moment, something shifted inside of him, something that Damon would not be able to stop. It shocked him thoroughly how that one look, with the way she said his name, could scatter his insides so easily. Damon was almost nervous, and couldn't help but stare at her in a state of astonishment. He knew that if she continued to look at him like that, and say his name, in that way, he would not be able to refuse her a damn thing. He wouldn't want to.

If Clarissa never told him her secrets, he wondered how things would've gone. He didn't doubt they'd eventually reach this point, he would've hovered to put Stefan on edge, and the mischievous twinkle in her playful blue-gray eyes would've kept Damon coming back to her. Clarissa's smile always seemed to suggest that she knew an inside joke everybody was supposed to be in on, but weren't. And Damon was in on that inside joke, which made everything so much more fun. Her slight resemblance to Katherine wasn't nearly as unnerving as the resemblance she held of a woman he'd turn into a vampire a few years ago. They even had the same exact eye color. But life lately seemed to be getting stranger and stranger as it was. She was never meant to be anything more than an excuse to get closer to Elena, to have Stefan in a fit of anxious, wary, anger.

And then he found himself becoming her damned blue canary.

And now, watching her sleep on large king sized bed, he realized she'd become his birdhouse.

He was royally fucked.

Damon and I decided to strip down and ride the giraffe out of the Central Park Zoo as we freed all the animals and took over the city. No, I'm just kidding. Wouldn't that have been epic? Instead I was sprawled out on the bed in the hotel room. It was 11AM and I'd just woken up after apparently passing out before even ordering breakfast. I'm so cool. Not.

"—COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE, CHILDISH, AND IMMATURE, CLARISSA!" That's Elena, on speaker phone, screaming at me. The phone was laying innocently next to my head as I stared up at the ceiling in complete boredom. "DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I HAVE BEEN?" But I told everybody where I was. "DRIVING TO NEW YORK CITY? ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? THAT KIND OF IMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR HAS TO STOP! YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN THIS GUY FOR, WHAT, LESS THAN A MONTH? AND NOW YOU'RE ALONE WITH HIM IN A CITY YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN BEFORE! AND HE DROVE ALL NIGHT AFTER STAYING UP ALL DAY—WHAT IF HE FELL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL AND YOU CRASHED AND DIED?"

"It's okay, he had seventeen redbulls," I assured her breezily.

"You're hilarious. Are you trying to punish me? Is this your way of acting out? I know we have our… issues, but we can work through them as a family! Just come home. I don't want you alone with him, Clare, okay? Stefan has told me that he can be very… charismatic, very charming, that he can talk you into things you don't want to do…" Yeah it's called being freakin' compelled. Trust me, I know. "And he's a bad influence on you. Stefan says he's also really impulsive and he's… he's got some other issues Stefan won't tell me about. I can get you a train ticket back home, or a bus ticket…"

The door burst open and I lazily tilted my head, seeing a smirking Damon in the doorway. "I've brought the uncut cocaine!" He announced loudly. "It's alright, Clary, a little bit of cocaine is okay!"

"Damon," Elena hissed. "If you do anything to my sister—"

"Gotta go, Lena! My pimp is here!" I said cheerfully, snapping my phone shut. Damon dropped a plate down on the bed and I eyed the blueberry muffin happily.

"Blueberry muffin for you, sexy maid for me." Damon said, plopping down next to me as I peeled the wrapper off the bottom of the muffin. "And then I had a wonderful conversation with Stefan. I let him know I planned to corrupt you terribly."

Pfft. "Good luck with that." I said, pulling apart the muffin and popping a piece into my mouth. Have you ever eaten while laying down? It was kind of difficult. "I change for no one. I'm incorruptible. I'm—" I smacked myself in the face and choked on the muffin.

Damon laughed darkly at me as I rolled over, attempting to sit up so the muffin would friggin go down properly. He whacked me on the back and I tumbled face first out of the bed. Which hurt. A lot.

"Why do I hang out with you?" I groaned miserably, grabbing the sheets in an attempt to pull myself up, my face throbbing. At least I was no longer choking. Thanks, Damon. Seriously. Greatest friend award goes to him.

"Because without me you'd rot in bored misery." Damon smirked cockily at me, slinking off the bed lazily. I swiped the muffin off the plate and threw it at him. Which he easily caught. Damn it. "Clarissa, don't play with your food." He chastised lightly in a mocking way.

I puffed out a breath. "Y'know it's a damn good thing that I've got like zero interest in ever dating someone 'cause I'd probably end up with someone abusive." He stared at me blankly and I stared back.

"Mm." Damon turned away, tossing my phone at me which I fumbled to catch. He tilted his gaze back to me, and I realized I somehow offended him. God, vampires were such little drama queens. "Where do you want to go?"

"Out." I said immediately. "I just need to relish in walking around aimlessly for a bit."

Bursting out of the hotel and into the warm city air was like downing an entire bag of pixie sticks, I was alive. I was free. I was everything! I twirled around happily, skipping. While we'd been out earlier this morning, I'd been far too brain dead to really appreciate that I was here. Really here. Damon lazily followed after me, having no trouble keeping up with me with his slow I-Own-Everything stride.

"Maybe we can find my old apartment, break in, and burn it to the ground," I suggested cheerfully as I bounced past the gate that separated the front of the hotel from the sidewalk, easily sprinting away from one of the stuffy rich guys who was walking through at the same time.

I stilled, a flash of recognition spilling through me and I turned, my gaze following after the man. Was that—? The hair color was the same, and so was his build. But it couldn't be…

"Michael?" I blurted out, my fingers curling around the hem of his sleeve, stopping him, hope swelling like a balloon in my chest.

He turned, and for one, shining, moment I swore it was him. His face was similar, but it was so obviously not Michael. Disappointment twinged loudly as the well-dressed stranger stared back at me. I released a puff of air. He seemed relatively surprised, staring down at me with sharp brown eyes.

"This is Michael?" Damon's voice snapped me from my daze and I blushed hotly. "We're talking about the same guy who'd sneak you soda?" I was still gripping his sleeve and hastily let go before he decided to bill me for stretching out the material.

"No," I sighed, smiling apologetically at the classy looking rich guy. "Whoops, sorry. I didn't mean to grab you like that, you just look pretty similar to somebody that I used to know." And now I was going to have that song stuck in my head. Damn.

Suits, as I was now calling him, recovered fairly quickly, his expression impassive. He inclined his head a fraction to the left, his cool brown eyes sweeping across my face. "No harm done," he had a remarkably polite cultured voice. "You look extraordinarily like someone I was once acquainted with as well."

A faint grin slid across my face. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"Perhaps," he allowed with a small tilt to his lips. "Is it working?"

"Nope. Still really weird and awkward." Well, this was getting boring fast. "Later, Suits!" I spun on my heels, taking Damon's hand and pulling him onto the sidewalk. Damon's blue eyes had narrowed a little.

"You're not upset." He said after a few moments of silence had passed. How could I be upset? "I assumed you'd be a little teary given it wasn't Michael."

"Pfft! I'm in the city! I'm with you! Who caaaares?" I waved off dismissively, swinging our linked hands happily. "But God, did you see his suit? How could I have ever thought that was Michael? Michael hardly wore his uniform correctly…" I trailed off thoughtfully. "He wouldn't have recognized me, anyway. I don't even know if there's a Clarissa Everett in this world. Better not be. There can only be one."

Amusement sprang across Damon's face. "That would be hilarious."

No. It really, really, wouldn't be.

"So, wait," I asked as Damon handed me the warm pretzel. "There are no rules? You can just compel whoever you want and get away with it? I feel like being a vampire is the same as using cheat codes in The Sims. Don't you have like… vampire police or like…"

"The equivalent of the Volturi?" Damon offered lightly and I started to nod only to stare at him in shock. His casual indifference turned mocking.

"You read Twilight?" Oh my God.

"Mmhm. All four books." Damon said like it wasn't any big deal. "They were awful, I'm offended that you like them."

"I don't like them!" I denied, my cheeks quickly growing warm. "It was a phase! I was bored! It'd just came out and I was looking for a new book to read, and it was okay, and I was like thirteen! It would've been fine if she just ended with the first book but then a second one came out and I had to finish the series…"

Damon looked more amused and I puffed a breath out. Just. Goddamn it. "Jacob's part in the last book wasn't so bad… The wolves were pretty interesting."

I brightened. "I know, I loved that—I…" Oh. Damon's smirking made me realize he'd been playing me and I huffed. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised you were able to sit through Twilight. The love triangles should've made you feel right at home."

Damon threw me a flat look that I smiled cheerfully at.

"You're like a vampire Jacob. All angst and misery. And then you see KP's descendant, who happens to look exactly like KP, but whatever, and you're like hot damn, gotta tap that and fall in magical true love." Which… "I thought you said vampires can't reproduce?"

"They can't." Damon murmured, clearly annoyed. His fault. He challenged me and now I was whooping his ass. Emotionally. "She clearly must've… had a child before becoming a vampire." He really didn't look pleased about that. He looked a little sick, actually, and I leaned closer to him, feeling guilty now. "It's the only thing I can think of that would explain Elena and this body you're in." I nearly tripped. "But Katherine wasn't a Gilbert."

I resembled Elena. Which meant I resembled Katherine. Did that seriously not click for me the entire time I was here?

"Oh…" I shifted awkwardly. "I'm… Sorry I look like KP."

"I don't see her when I look at you." Damon said quietly. "The resemblance is only slight, and you… look like someone else, kind of. Like a weird hybrid child between her and this woman I met a few years ago."

I ripped a piece of the pretzel off and popped it into my mouth. It was time to get Damon out of this mood I'd accidentally shoved him into.

"Can't you eat like a normal person?" Damon asked drily. "And just bite into it? Why do you have to always eat things by tearing them into little pieces?"

"Because when I was little I was impatient and ripped my front teeth out, bottom and top, and couldn't chew properly." I said dismissively. "Or maybe this has been training for when I come here and get turned into a vampire and do terrible things. Like ripping people into pieces."

"You are never becoming a vampire." Damon said flatly.

"All for the best, I guess. You've never seen me after like a week without sugar. I would just kill everyone if I was a vampire. All the time. Just endless blood everywhere, all for me. I'd probably sugarcoat it too. Just dump ungodly amounts of sugar packets into giant vats of blood…"

Damon stared at me.

I smiled cheerfully back.

"You idiot," he said, a faint grin tilting across his handsome face. I win.

"When is Stefan's birthday?" I asked curiously after finding Damon in the back of the store. He was staring at a spinning globe with flashing lights in faint interest and tilted his gaze toward me.

"November fifth," Damon said almost automatically and I grinned in amusement. What a good, caring, brother, remembering a birthday after a hundred and forty-something years of hate. He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Because," I held up the box I'd been holding which Damon snatched from my hands. "It's an Edward Cullen dildo. It sparkles in the sunlight."

A wide grin flew across Damon's face. "Just what Stef always wanted."

Damon appeared in front of me suddenly with a mischievous grin. "Look, Clary," he cooed, pulling out a fluffy, white, unicorn stuffed animal. I sprang backwards, smacking it from his hand in a fit of anger.

"GET THAT SHIT OUT OF MY FACE!" I exploded. I didn't care if we were surrounded by children, I would swear all I wanted. He had talked me into going to FAO Schwarz and now it was just pure regret! Forever ruined! Amused surprise danced across his face.

"You don't like unicorns?" He asked, too gleefully. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're the sweet innocent virgin who is obsessed with true love, unicorns are your symbol!"

"Like hell! Shut up about the damned asshole creatures, D! Shut up! Ugh! That song! It'll be stuck in my head and I'll want to die!" I snapped, frustrated. "They're assholes! All of them! Fucking impale me in the face!"

"Song? Do you mean the…" Damon's smirk was becoming more and more feral. "Alwaaaays…"

My eyes widened. There was no fucking way Damon knew about Robot Unicorn Attack! "Damon," I hissed in a warning.

The unicorn was back in his hand and he slammed it into my face so hard I nearly fell over. I screeched, flailing. "I wanna beeee with you! And make beeeelieve with you! And live in HAAAARMONY! HAAAARMONY! OOOOH LOVEEE!"

"Noooo!" I cried, crumbling to the ground. He threw the stuffed animal at me and I wailed as it bounced off my tortured body. "It burns us!"

"I've defeated the wicked witch!" Damon announced causing three children to spring at me out of nowhere. Oh God! "That's right, Munchkins, you are free!"

It was like almost four in the afternoon and Jeremy was just getting up. Livin' the high life. Radical.

Jeremy: lenas pissed i 'let' you run off to ny, which i said it was beyond my control, that i just felt COMPELLED to be okay with it. damon is one smooth talker. winkwink. stef looked pissed.

"Jeremy's completely putting the blame on you," I announced, amused, as Damon idly picked through a rack of shirts. He had to get a new outfit, gotta keep up the stud look for the stud lifestyle. So he says. "He told Stefan he just felt… compelled to be okay with me running off to the city with you."

"Excellent." Well, Damon looked thoroughly pleased. He probably had some other Damon Dickery scheme brewing that he wasn't telling me about.

I texted back: Con. putting all the blame on D, he's got something planned. play this up as much as possible.

Jeremy: sweet rather lena be pissed at him then me

"What do you think about this?" Damon drew my attention away from my phone and I raised my eyebrows at the dark polo with a crewneck. He held it against himself, blue eyes flickering up curiously to meet mine, as though seeking approval.

"Ralph Lauren?" I scoffed, wrinkling my nose. "I guess if you were a—" I smacked myself across the face and hissed. Damon squinted his eyes at me.

"Why did you… ah, right," a grin twitched across his face. The bastard forgot he compelled me? "What's wrong with Ralph Lauren? I think I'd look nice in this. We're in the city, Clary." What the hell did that mean?

"You're a Diesel kind of guy, D." I said, careful not to be snobbish Everett. I really didn't want to smack myself again. Damon's eyebrows rose. "I've been hanging out with you for three weeks, I think I'd notice your favorite brand. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"

"A normal person." Damon deadpanned and I scoffed, waving his comment aside dismissively. I caught the eye of one of the help and he trotted over to us with a flirty smile. While he was dressed in all black, like the others, he had a sort of zing to his look. He was perfect for us.

"How may I assist you?" He asked, his hazel gaze shifting in Damon's direction. He tsked. "Oh, dear. Ralph Lauren? If I may?" He tilted his head toward me and I nodded. "This is all wrong for you, it just clashes." he fluttered closer to Damon, peeling the shirt away like it was the most repulsive article of clothing in the world. He looked Damon up and down critically, one arm tucked around his torso, the other perched at the elbow against it, his fingers tapping against his chin thoughtfully. "I would suggest Burberry."

"Diesel, actually." I said pleasantly. "I need a Loslo Jacket, 'TOS' Slub V-Neck tee, and for the jeans…" I trailed off thoughtfully. "Larkee Relaxed Fit in denim."

"Oh, yes, I can see it." The help said with a clap of his hands. "What color tee?"

"Black." I said immediately and the help stood back to examine Damon who merely stared back at us, his expression giving nothing away about how he felt. He was probably thinking about ripping our limbs off and beating us to death with them.

"Mm, I'm not sure. I'll come back with black and dark gray."

"Don't you need my pants size?" Damon asked and the help winked.

"Honey, I'm very good at my job. I know what sizes you are." The help said in a very sassy, flirty, manner, sauntering off in another direction. I decided I liked him. Damon's gaze cut into me and I looked back at him curiously.

"You seem to be in your element here." Damon remarked. "It's been about… a hundred and… ah… forty-nine? Maybe a hundred and fifty years since I allowed anyone to pick out my clothes."

"I'm not really picking them out. It's your style. You would've ended up choosing them." I shrugged a shoulder. "And what can I say? This was my life. No matter how many times I slap myself, I'm always going to have aspects of being an Everett. Knowing brands was important to mother. So I could correctly select the right friends that way."

"And now you're hanging out with me." Damon pointed out. "I bet your mother would be so proud."

"She would've been actually." I agreed casually. "You have an expensive taste in clothing and lifestyle. Not to mention the very aristocrat look about you despite your whole I'm-Rebelling-Against-Daddy appearance."

"My what?" Damon narrowed his blue eyes at me. I continued on, ignoring him.

"And you can charm the clothes off anyone. Not to mention your name holds weight. Salvatore? It just sounds good. Mother would have been pleased." A smirk slanted across my lips. HA! "Jokes on her, you're a murdering creature of darkness who encourages all my bad behavior."

I laughed evilly to myself. More wins. All for me. Damon gave me an odd look just as the help sauntered back over, clothes folded neatly over one arm. He held up two shirts in one hand, sliding in front of Damon.

"This is the black," the help said pleasantly, holding up the black shirt in front of Damon. "Which, I confess, looks a lot better than I thought. But," he put the shirt over his arm and held up the dark gray. "This looks much better, don't you agree? It's not as dark, which causes his hair to look so much darker which, in turn, causes those blue eyes of his to stand out more."

It was true. Oh my God. His blue eyes did stand out more. "I think you should try both of them on…" I said halfheartedly. "I mean, while the gray certainly brings out… your eyes… I don't know how it'll look on you. Black is always…"

Damon rolled his eyes and shrugged out of his black dress jacket, flinging it at me. Rude! I caught it clumsily, nearly dropping the bag I was holding that held the Edward Cullen dildo for Stefan. It wasn't until he started working on the buttons on his black button up did I realize his intentions.

"There's dressing rooms…" the help said in the sort of way that suggested he kind of wanted Damon to just strip down too.

"Mm, this will only take a second. I really don't feel like playing dress up for you two." Damon murmured and really, he didn't have to compel anyone, because I doubted anyone could say no to him when he's showing off that amount of skin, talking in that low voice, with those blue eyes.

I pulled my phone out and quickly took a picture. I mean, I kind of remember Caroline asking for a picture once, so… I quickly sent it to her with: DAMONS GETTING NUDE AT THE STORE

Her reply was immediate: WOO HOO! ! ! ! THROW MONEY! ! ! !

But when he pulled his dress shirt off completely, tossing it carelessly onto the rack of shirts, I forgot I was even holding a phone. How Damon managed to look like a freakin' Sex God, I'd never know. I didn't believe him when he said it wasn't a vampire thing. It had to be. The help stared, open mouthed, at Damon who took the gray shirt from him.

"Oh honey," the help breathed next to me, hand on my arm. "Tell me what team he plays for."

"Damon doesn't play for any teams, we play for him." I managed to say as Damon pulled the shirt over his delicious stupidly overly attractive chest. Damon, who obviously heard us, smirked and the help next to me choked on a gasp. Yeeeah, me too.

"Well?" Damon purred, blue eyes gleaming. "How do I look?"

"I think you should try on more clothes." The help said. "Take that off."

"Maybe you should just walk around naked." I suggested playfully with a grin. Now that he wasn't shirtless, I was pretty much back to normal and okay. The help, not so much. He was still gawking at Damon like Damon was the second coming of Jesus. "But yeah, he was right. Dark gray is the way to go. You're looking killer, D."

"Mhm." Damon was such an arrogant little sucker. He pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it at the help who sputtered, catching it easily. "Ring it up. I'll take everything. And the black shirt, since Clary likes it so much." Damon winked at me, like I should be so flattered he's not going to pay for a shirt I want him to wear.

There was no way he was going to turn me into that Damon craving hormonal mess. Not with him being so cocky about it. I tore my gaze away from his bare chest. It was beyond being an Everett, damn it, I was Clarissa, and I bowed to no man. Especially not Sex God vampires. Or got weak kneed! I wasn't going to do any of that. Nope.

"Is there a store policy that says he can't walk around shirtless?" I drawled with well-practiced indifference, despite my fluttering heart. The help was staring at Damon.

"I… I supposed not." The help said after a moment. "Given he's going to change into… I'll ring this up—if someone… gives you two a problem…" He trailed off, blinked, and simply walked off toward the registers.

God is that how I looked when Damon got me flustered? I buried my face into my hands, groaning.

"Don't worry Claryberry, when you get that way, it's much more adorable." Damon's low, taunting, voice slid around me like velvet, coaxing me into lifting my head. I shouldn't have been surprised to see him inches away from me, his blue eyes fixed on mine, a haughty smirk stretched across his stupid face. My stomach lurched.

Like three minutes after swearing Damon wouldn't have any affect, I'm a mess. Stupid. Freakin'. Vampires. Quickly self, defuse the situation with humor!

"Damon, I want you to strip down and change right in front of everybody." I grinned at him and Damon tilted his head, as though considering me.

"What is it with you and wanting me to strip all the time?" He wondered, taking the dress jacket from my hands and tossing it aside carelessly. It fell to the ground with a soft thawmp. I straightened, tilting my chin upward in a defiant way.

"Oh Damon," I sighed, looking up at him through my eyelashes. More things I'd seen Caroline do when she was flirty. "Steffy told me all about your days as a stripper. I know you had to support his addiction."

"Those were dark times, Clary." Damon threw back, pretending to be taken aback. He then frowned. "Wait. When did you and Stefan talk about me stripping?"

"School." I shrugged. "I spend about six hours in his company every day there." Damon actually looked pretty annoyed by that. "Don't worry, most of it is spent making him regret his decision to attempt to talk to me. Are we just leaving your jacket and button up on the floor?"

His irritation fell into amusement, a cat like grin flickering across his face. "Claaaary, you're the one who said if you don't like something, throw it on the floor." Oh hell yeah! I beamed at him. "Do you want me to get you anything while we're here?"

For a moment I was surprised he'd offer—but then I remembered he wasn't paying anyway. "Mm, nah. I feel bad enough about making the help pay, or getting the help fired when you compel him to let us have it all for free."

Damon scoffed. "He won't be paying for us. That nice man who is paying for our room gave us his card. He's paying for our weekend."

I brightened. "This changes everything! But nooo, I don't want anything. Not here."

Was it wrong that I didn't care? Was it wrong that I was almost… glad? If Damon was going to take advantage of people, I'd rather it be the overly privileged. It also felt like I was giving a giant middle finger to my previous life and everybody I hated who was a part of it. Fuck you guys, seriously. Now we're going to spend your money.

Fuck it. I didn't care if that made me a bad person.

"You haven't been slapping yourself." Damon noted as we made our way to the registers. A lot of people were tripping over themselves to get a look at him. Not even kidding. It made me grin. "And you were behaving pretty… Everett-y."

"I was behaving Clarissa-y," I corrected matter-of-factly. "Loophole. This is me. I can't slap myself for choosing to behave like myself."

"Why do you call them 'the help'?" Damon deadpanned and I snorted. Seriously?

"Because those people—" I smacked myself across the face and swore loudly. Damon smirked, looking satisfied. What the hell? I thought I found the friggin' loophole!

"That's your mother talking." Damon said cheerfully and I grumbled, rubbing my cheek. He was right, it was. But shit. This slapping crap had gotten old the third time it happened, it needed to end. Now.

"Can you stop making me hit myself?" I snapped. "You're worse than I am. All you see is lesser creatures to feed off of!"

"But I'm happy to be this way." Damon tapped my nose and I glowered at him. I almost didn't care he was shirtless with how annoyed I felt. Almost. "And you don't want to be what your mother was trying to make you: a snobbish rich brat who thinks she is better than everyone just because she comes from money."

I snatched his hand, ignoring the jolt that went through me at the contact, and slammed it against my chest. Damon blinked, surprised, and I smirked. "You got boob action without any shirt on, now take away the compulsion."

Damon was completely still, like a statue, his expression blank as he stared at me. First thing that flickered across his face was a look of sheer, incredulous, bewilderment. Which clashed as amusement sprang. He squinted his blue eyes, which were fixed on my chest, his face a spasm between emotions. His fingertips twitched and he... Squeaked? Why was Damon squeaking?

I realized he was trying to keep back laughter. His expression softened incredibly, blue eyes dancing with pure amusement. He tilted his head away, shoulders shaking. Within seconds, he was openly laughing. But it wasn't like any other laugh I ever heard from him. It wasn't mocking, taunting, or that 'I'm an evil vampire who just did vampire dickery related things' laugh, or the 'this is extremely amusing we have an inside joke you're not a part of ha-ha Stefan'. Not even the 'Clary just said something ridiculous and now I'm cackling at her' one.

His laughter just seemed so warm, and happy and just honestly amused. He wasn't Damon the vampire, he was Damon, my friend and he looked much younger suddenly, almost sweeter. I liked this laugh. I wanted him to laugh like this more.

"Clarissa…" he shook his head, a tiny smile on his face. "To think that I could be swayed like that, for shame." I shoved his hand from my chest. Like a switch, he was back to teasing self with overtones of flirtation in his voice.

"You'll bend to my will soon enough." But my threatening tone fell dramatically flat because with the way he was grinning at me, like a lazy predator faintly amused by a mouse, and the fact that he was shirtless I was having trouble focusing.

Damon's smirk grew. His now darker blue eyes brushed over me.

Goddamn.

My gaze was sliding down his chest. His stupidly perfect chest.

God. Damn.

"Cash or card?" The help asked, breaking me from my… well, ogling. I released a breath as Damon tilted his consuming gaze away and I curiously glanced at the register. 923 stared back at me and I couldn't help but think how decently priced that was.

"This is my card," Damon purred, sliding the silver credit card across the counter. "If you have no objections, I'm going to get changed here. To save myself the hassle." The help stared. Like he wasn't sure if Damon was kidding or not (but totally hoping he wasn't). "Hold this."

He pressed his phone, wallet (what did he need that for?) and the crystal-jewel thingy he'd taken from the Lockwood's into my hands like he was entrusting me with the Ring of power. I guess this shit was really important. Something caught my eye and I tilted my head toward his arm. Was that… a tattoo? I figured I'd ask him about it later.

"I'll keep it secret, I'll keep it safe." I vowed dramatically, dropping them carelessly into my bag.

"I'd follow you all the way to Mordor." The help said, dumbstruck, as Damon, giving none of the fucks, slid out of his shoes (we needed to buy him a nice pair of converse to go with the new outfit) and, teasingly slow, unbuckled his belt.

It was Caroline's birthday all over again.

"You can have my sword, if you know what I mean…"

And I was glad we were keeping this Lord of the Rings themed.

I decided, what the hell, why not? I pulled my phone back out and took a picture of Damon wiggling out of the dress pants. I sent one to Caroline and one to Stefan to provoke him with: you weren't kidding about him being used to stripping WE'RE GETTING FREE STUFF.

Suck it, Stefan.

The help sucked a breath in. "Oh…"

Damon, all smirks and smugness, stood, in a pair of boxers. In the middle of freakin' Bloomingdales. At this point, I was way to freakin' amused to be a mess. I was actually kind of proud. Like, this is Damon, we hang out, he does outrageous things like strip and use strangers' credit cards to pay for things.

I whipped out my camera and hit the record button. "Say hi Damon!"

Damon grinned at the camera, blue eyes glinting with mischief. "Clary! First you demand I strip, and now you're further objectifying my body!"

My phone exploded with text alerts, undoubtedly from Caroline. Or STEFAN. Or both. HA!

"What can I say, D?" I tilted the camera downward slowly. "Mmm, giiirl, look at that body!"

"The things I must endure being in your company!" Damon cried and I grinned widely at him.

"Tough business you're in, babe! Now give papa a little dance." I glanced at the help as Damon shot me a look. "Hey, guy! What's your name?"

"Nate." He answered, without really looking away from Damon. I couldn't blame him.

"Nate, dance with Damon!"

Both Nate and Damon looked at me with various expressions of surprise.

"I… Well…" Nate blinked and glanced back at Damon who looked like he was about to be a sourpuss and tell me to eff off. That wasn't happening!

"Damon, dance with Nate." I urged. "It'll be fantastic."

"You…" he began and blinked, his expression flickering into a different one. He suddenly grinned at Nate, and held out a hand. "Let's dance."

"Oh my God." Nate squeaked. "Are you serious?"

"It's how we roll, Nate." I grinned widely. Hell yeah, murderous vampire dancing around in his boxers in the middle of Bloomingdales. This was the new normal!

And it was to my glee that Damon waltzed Nate around the cash registers.

We were gathering a crowd.

Most of whom had their phones out. Clearly recording.

I ended the video when Damon spun Nate around and dipped him. That I took a picture for. I mean, come on, it would've been criminal if I didn't. The small group around us broke into an applause, Nate looked awestruck, and Damon only looked more haughty and smug. Honest to God, I bet he could sustain himself off attention if he was ever in a position where he couldn't drink blood.

Nate, grinning widely, came over to me. "You have to tag me in that video and picture, my friends will never believe me!"

While Nate and I exchanged numbers, and facebooks, Damon got dressed. It was unsurprising that he looked disastrously attractive while pulling off the I-Don't-Care look. Like these clothes so happened to be laying around and he just threw them on and it was just an accident that he looked devastatingly beautiful. Son of a bitch.

"We're keeping your pants?" I asked as he stuffed them into the Bloomingdales' bag along with the black tee.

"Clarissa…" he purred, his smile filthy. "I don't want any strangers to get into my pants."

"Yes you do." I said immediately. "You live for wild dirty sex."

"I'm down for that." Nate blurted and Damon slung an arm over his shoulders.

"Nate, you are stunningly beautiful, but I'm sad to say…"

"Straight?" Nate guessed with a faint smile.

"Terribly." Damon nodded. "It really limits my options and is so against my personality. If I could, I would have wild sex with everybody." He sighed, as if really crushed. "But if I'm ever looking to experiment… You'll be my first call." Damon winked and I swear I could see Nate falling in love.

I could feel it.

It was just so bam.

I mean, it's Damon.

"Bye Nate!" I said cheerfully with a wave, as Damon sauntered to me. Nate smiled giddily.

"Bye Clare, it was wonderful to meet you…" Nate said, his hazel gaze tilting toward my vampire buddy. "Bye Damon…"

"We'll see each other again." Damon smiled his little flirty smile, wiggling his fingers.

That either meant Damon was totally gonna bring me to the city more often.

Or it meant Damon was going to feed on, and possibly kill, Nate before we left.

I returned Damon his phone, wallet and his witchy thing while I checked my texts.

Caroline: OMFG CLARE THAT IS THE FUNNIEST (HOTTEST) THING

Caroline: I NO THAT ELENA IS SUPER UPSET BOUT U GOING 2 THE CITY BU PERF 4 ECHOTHER DAMON IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HANDLE U BC HES CRAZY 2

Caroline: im saving these pictures

Caroline: U BETER FUKING DO HIM

Oh, Caroline.

"I took a picture of you stripping and sent it to Stefan." I said as we exited the building. "I told him you were stripping for clothes." I could feel his eyes on me as I opened Stefan's text: What do you mean, you're getting free stuff? Can I call you? Are you okay? "And his reply is filled with boring worry. Like you're stripping and he's asking me if I'm okay… Oh, he's probably worried about my ovaries and if they exploded. How nice."

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, ignoring Stefan's text. It wasn't worthy to respond to.

"Mmm, Stef often likes to ruin a good time with a bad case of seriousness. Forget him, let's not talk to him or about him for the rest of the weekend." Damon said lightly. "And I have to say, Clary, I'm surprised. I didn't think I'd like this outfit as much as I do." He smirked. "I especially like this jacket. Could be a new favorite."

I brightened, smiling at him happily as warmth spread across my chest. "We're friends, D. I know what you like. I got this. Oh!" I gently took his hand, pulling his arm closer. "Before, I think I saw a tattoo on your arm?"

Damon nodded and pushed up his jacket's sleeve, tilting his arm so his forearm faced upward. I leaned closer, tracing my fingers over the black letters of what I was pretty sure was Latin. The touch of his skin sent little warm tingles up my hand which seeped through me like an electric wildfire. I was so close that his warmth enveloped around me.

"Hic et nunc," Damon murmured softly. "Latin for here and now."

"Fits." I said after a moment. "That's so you."

"I got it after…" he faltered and I looked up at him. Damon had a haunted look to him, his gaze distant. I wondered if anyone else knew him like this. I wondered so many things. I crept closer, we were nearly touching now, and gently brushed my fingers over his arm soothingly. His blue eyes slid to meet mine.

"You don't have to talk about it. You're allowed to have things you can't or don't wanna tell me, it's kay, D. I get it." I smiled at him gently. Damon tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, his fingers falling down to stroke my cheek. My heart fluttered.

"I got it after my humanity switched back on," he said softly. "It sucked. It was misery. There was so much anger and hurt and guilt… so much guilt. I've done so much damage. I never wanted to return to New York, but now I'm here, with you. And we're so happy and all I do is laugh, but the last time I was here… I just…"

"I know," I cut in quietly. "Damon, trust me when I say, you deserve to be happy. You are the furthest thing from a bad guy. You're a dick, and you're mischievous, and you have good reasons to be pissed at Stefan, but you haven't done anything to him that I would ever consider evil. You've looked out for him, I think you will always care about him even if you don't want to. You've… been hurt beyond anything anyone should be and you still care. And you want to be cared about in return. You deserve to be, more than anyone else I've ever met. You know how to play the role of bad guy, you did it when you were human too and would take the heat for Stefan. I know how it is. You weren't good enough for your father, and then you weren't good enough to be just KP's. You became a vampire and then Stefan went postal. And then suddenly you were bad in everyone's eyes. But you're not. You are perfect the way you are. You've nearly been ruined, like I have, and just because you're not what society says is good doesn't mean you aren't."

He was still and let me gently take his hands into mine. His blue eyes sought mine, a quiet, fragile, vulnerability skirting across his face. "How can you say that to me? I hurt you. I shove you to the ground, I make you hit yourself, I kill you. Oh God, Clarissa, I kill you." I smacked his face with his own hand. Damon blinked rapidly, looking taken aback.

"Stop getting Stefan on me, D." I shushed. "You're… I guess, an anti-hero. You're willing to do what nobody else is to get done what you have to get done. You're willing to be the bad guy, you're willing to be a source of blame for Stefan so Stefan can be less of a tool. But you're also kind. And sweet. And considerate. And you're playful and funny and I won't abandon you and I won't let anybody else hurt you. You're my friend and I will always be on your side, and I will always trust you and I will always care about you. You can always just be Damon around me. Even if you want to tear someone's throat out. So. Yeah. This is my speech. My Damon-Is-A-Great-Guy speech."

Damon stared at me with his pretty blue eyes. A mixture of expressions flickered across his face: surprise, fondness, embarrassment. He groaned and dropped his head against my shoulder. I cheerfully patted the top of his head.

"There, there. I won't tell anyone that you're actually a cuddle craving demon with a sad origin story. It'll be our secret." I promised happily. He didn't say anything, merely buried his face into the crook of my neck causing a flutter of nerves to bounce through me. "How about we go put this stuff back into the room, and…"

"Caaaan't." Damon puffed out in a whine, his breath hot on my skin. Gah. "I'm… kind of veiny eyed and vamped up." …WHAT?

"My speech was supposed to be cheerful!" I frowned, not sure if I should feel offended. "You're not supposed to get vampy on me!"

"I can't help it!" He whined childishly. "Heightened emotions and all that shit, I want to bite you!" My heart skipped. "Stop doing that! You're not helping! I can taste your pulse."

What?! What did that even mean—what—I just… I huffed and tried to stay still.

Caaalm down heart.

Nothing to be bouncy over.

It's just Damon leaning on me like dead weight.

Wanting to bite me.

Nothing to be excited over.

Pffft.

"So you want to bite me because you're…" I trailed off. "Emotional." He growled. "Okay. You're… feeling heightened. By my inspiring speech that should have been a cheerful one."

"Five minutes. No talking."

He was kidding right?

"…Wait, are you pissed?" I didn't think he was, but then again, maybe when he said he was vamped out it was because he was angry?

"I will sink my fangs into your pretty little neck." He threatened.

"Damon that's dirty."

"I swear to Christ."

"Swear to me." I said in my best Batman voice.

"I can't remember why I ever felt guilty about killing you."

"Aw we both know that isn't true. You don't even pick my nose. You cuddle me and cry. Claaary nooooo, my one true friend, I'm terrible and filled with horrible things, noooo!"

"This is probably why your mother didn't love you." Damon hissed and suddenly I didn't want to poke fun at him anymore, a snap of hurt ricocheting through me.

Damon knew where to strike to hurt and I almost hated myself for letting it get to me. It was just so true. It wasn't what he said, or the fact that he said it. It was just the fact that he was so dead on. I wondered if I'd ever reach a place in life where it wouldn't matter, where she didn't matter, but… Damon was alive for so long, and none of his hurts healed any.

"I hate when you're quiet." Damon muttered. But he just said. "I don't want you to stop talking, I just—need you to stop. For a few minutes. You make my control slip because you make me stupid and happy."

I leaned my head against his, a tiny smile flaring to life across my face. "I wanna take you to a vampire bar, D. You can pick someone to cart around as a snack. And then I wanna get a tattoo. Clarissa Everett would never get a tattoo, never, and I'm fairly sure neither would Clarissa Gilbert. But I want to mark this body as mine."

"Claaaary," Damon's lips were curving into a smirk, which I could feel against my skin. Damn it. "That is so impulsive. I love it."

"You're not going to try to talk me out of it?" I don't know why I was surprised. This was Damon. He lifted his head, a smirk playing across his handsome face, blue eyes gleaming.

"Never." Damon said lowly, pulling my hands into his and bringing them to his mouth. "Whatever you want, Clary, you can have."

"Oh please." I pulled my hands from his, amused. "Don't think I don't know what you're up to. I'll come back with a tattoo, Elena will freak out and Stefan will be like SHE'S BEEN COMPELLED! And you'll prance off cackling."

"Maybe that's a little true..." Damon admitted, his smirk growing. He offered his arm, which I took, and led us down the sidewalk. Presumably back to the hotel. "But I can't help it if you're so impulsive that it fits into what I already have scheming. I need to find the vervain in the boarding house, Clary, and in order to do that Stefan must believe he needs to protect you from compulsion. Or, I don't know… Try to poison me. Once I know where the vervain is, I can possibly get a shoe in with the council, see what they're up to and what they know."

"See this is what I was saying. Playing the bad guy to get shit done. I dunno if I'd wanna just throw the blame all on you and have everyone be pissed at you." Though it would make dealing with the consequences of Elena's rage so much easier. "Vervain is the magical plant thing, right? The one that guy has that lives with you?"

"Zach." Damon nodded. "Do you remember where he hid the vervain?"

I narrowed my eyes thoughtfully. "You guys were in a room…"

"That really narrows it down, Clary, thanks." Damon deadpanned.

"And Zach was like why you heeeeree, and you were like to spend time with you we're family L-O-L, and then he's like just get the fuck out so you strangled him and Stefan was like what you guys doing? Family bonding, woo! And then Zach is like crying on the floor, or something, I dunno, and he's like gotta tell you a secret. Which is like are you serious? Damon could totally hear you fuckers. But whatever, so then I think he… like… Hit something maybe that opened a wall? I dunno. It was like in a basement. Thing. He has a little garden."

Damon clearly looked unimpressed. "If I took you on a guide around the boarding house, do you think you'd remember which room it was?"

"Possibly." I really had no idea, the episode was an already vague memory as it was. "Buy me sugar."

"Anything for you." Damon's grin was dark.

We dropped the bags off at the hotel room and were currently putzing around a corner market.

"So, if I got 'property of Damon' on my ass, would you get a Minnie Mouse tramp stamp?" I wondered airily. To be honest, I'd been thinking on what kind of tattoo to get, and had a few ideas brimming. Most of which revolved around Minnie Mouse. And then that just kind of popped into my head.

Damon's head snapped in my direction, a large grin flying across his face. "Do not tempt me, Clary. I would gladly have Disney bullshit on me if it meant you'd walk around with my name on you."

It was almost worth it. The idea of Damon, acting like the big bad vampire, having a Minnie Mouse tattoo on his lower back for all eternity was probably the funniest thing that would ever happen in my entire life. He'd have no choice but to remember me forever. Pfft. I swung open one of the glass doors to the refrigerated drinks, feeling the craving for chocolate milk. Or strawberry milk.

Strawberry milk won the quick internal debate and I picked it up only to pause, my gaze tilting upward to the carton of whole milk that had, in bold black letters, written on it: Celebrate life, whatever your style!

I grinned. "Hey look, D!" I called, pulling the gallon of milk out. "This is for you. The milk says to celebrate life, whatever your style, so it's condoning your horrific deeds! Go on, Damon, you have the milk's permission to go on killing sprees!" The milk was out of my hands and hitting the floor before I even saw Damon move. He glowered at me as the milk broke open, pouring out everywhere. "Just like the people you killed, the milk lays dead in its own fluids."

Damon looked like he was either ready to vamp out and lunge at me or laugh. Like he wasn't sure which reaction was appropriate. "Why do I tell you anything?"

"Aw, don't feel bad, D. Only real friends take terrible memories and continuously mock them." I assured him happily, prancing toward the sugary drinks. "I make fun of you for not having humanity and you make fun of the fact that I was unloved as a child, ripping open deep emotional wounds that will cause me to need a lot of therapy while simultaneously snapping my neck."

"You make me sound like such an asshole." Damon stepped over the milk as I threw open the door, tossing a few bottles of Pepsi into the basket.

"It's called Damon Dickery, pumpkin." Hell, why not? Let's get some Mountain Dew, too!

"When did you become obsessed with Minnie Mouse?" Damon asked, watching as I threw drink after drink into the cart. I realized we wouldn't be able to bring all these with us… Unless we got a suitcase. We could cart around a suitcase, right?

Hey, if Damon was going to cart around a person, I should cart around a suitcase filled with soda!

"Ah… Two years ago? I met these two really hilarious girls during my first semester at college. They introduced me to video games, like Kingdom Hearts, which introduced me to Disney…" I said absentmindedly.

Damon scoffed. "I should have known, it would explain why you're so into it. You're just going through what every child goes through, the Minnie Mouse phase will pass." This wasn't a phase, it was my LIFE! Damon pulled me away from the sodas. "There's a drink you can try that would be like drinking all these at once."

"Is it unicorn blood?" I asked sarcastically. I would've known about a drink like that. He couldn't fool me.

"What kinds of energy drinks have you tried?" Damon ignored my question and I snorted.

"Monster. Once. And only a little bit. Do you really think anyone is going to let me have energy drinks, D?" I mean, really. I was already what people considered inappropriately hyper, with Pepsi I became a few steps up to inconsiderate and WTF-worthy. An energy drink? I couldn't imagine the level of awesome. But I was also a little worried. I'd been behaving myself, Damon hadn't really seen me spastic on sugar. "I'm fine with just Pepsi."

Damon leaned closer to me. "Clarissa," he purred lowly, his blue eyes bright, his smirk predatory. My heart bounced. "We are going to indulge."

Suddenly that's all I wanted to do. I wanted to emerge myself completely in feeling, I wanted to let it take over. And the worst Damon could possibly do is snap my neck if he felt I was too much.

"Take me to this legendary drink." I whispered causing his smirk to widen. He whirled me around, his hands on my shoulders, and guided me to the Energy Drinks refrigerated section.

The familiar pretty colors and shiny cans filled my line of sight. So when Damon pulled out the only one I considered to be ugly, a blue boring looking can with the word HYPE written in silver, I was a little disappointed. Damon merely smirked, opening the can with a satisfying hiiiisk, squinting those damn blue eyes at me like he knew how I was going to react.

I almost hoped I'd hate it just to surprise him.

I brought it to my lips, a bundle of excited nerves brimming as I tilted it back. A berry, almost cotton candy like, flavor slid into my mouth. A second later the familiar crackle of sugar was seeping through every inch of me and it was fucking glorious. I moaned happily. This was the best drink I had ever had in my entire life.

"Oh my God, Damon," I gushed, a giddy smile spreading across my face as the sugar continued to spill through me. I bounced on my heels, my grin growing. "You have no…" I realized suddenly. "I have no idea, actually! I have no idea what it must be like to drink blood, but God, can I imagine…" I took another very long sip, relishing in the way it coasted through me, before squealing and bouncing up and down.

"I think it's safe to assume you like it." Damon said calmly like, holy shit, how can anyone be calm? This was Earth shattering!

"I'm addicted, it's a crisis!" I said prancing around as I dumped all the soda out of the basket. "My friends think I've gone crazy! My judgment's getting kind of haaazy! My sleaze is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crack head!" I began shoveling Hype energy drinks into the basket. "What you got, Hype, is hard to find! I think about it all the time! I'm all strung out, my heart is fried! I just can't get you off my mind! Because your sugar, your sugar, your sugar is my drug!"

Damon didn't even seemed fazed! Didn't care! That meant he accepted me! I jumped up and down excitedly.

"You have to clean this all up!" One of the employees at the corner market suddenly came into view as I sprang around Damon, twirling and bouncing, knocking things off the shelves with the basket. "HEY! You damn kids! I'm talking to you!"

"We're not going to clean this up." Damon said pleasantly, steering me by the shoulders away from the employee. "We're leaving now. How about you count every item in the store, hmm?"

"I don't care what people say! The rush is worth the price I pay! I get so high when you're in me, BUT CRAAAAAAAAAAASH AND CRAVE YOU WHEN YOU LEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEEE!" I belted, singing beautifully, really! "Beeeeeeecause your sugar, your sugar, your sugaaaaaaar IS MMMMMYYY DRUG!" I swung the basket full of Hype energy drinks into a passing business man and burst into laughter as he tumbled into the street, the cans flying everywhere. "I AM FREE!"

Damon spun me around and I beamed at him. "Where to now, beautiful? Vampire bar?"

"No," I gushed. "Not yet." I was so alive! "I want to play the piano! I want to burn down the city! LET'S GET NAKED, RUN THROUGH THE STREETS! Free all the animals!" I threw my arms around him, giddily rubbing my face against his chest, feeling suddenly affectionate. "I don't care what we do as long as you're here. Oh!" I drew back, bouncing on my heels, smiling at him brightly. "Let's go to the music store!" I was just so happy!

Because we were in the city!

And Damon was here!

And Damon was with me!

And I felt so alive!

And free!

And I was everything!

"God, I want to get so impulsive around you." Damon grinned, drawing me closer as his arms slid around my waist and I tilted my lips into the flirty smile he often used. I slithered my arms around his neck, my fingers sinking into his silky dark hair. His blue eyes locked onto mine as I leaned closer to him.

"You're a vampire, I can't die, and we're both impulsive with nobody to bring us down from whatever batshit crazy plan we cook up. Do you know what this means, Damon?" I playfully tugged on his ear as my fingertips danced across his skin and it was like little delicious explosions going off inside me at the contact. His blue eyes were a few shades darker, clawing at me.

Right now, Damon didn't care. By God, he didn't care. Clarissa was leaning into him, eyes bright and dancing, a flirty smile on her pretty face. She squealed suddenly, pulling him closer and rubbing her cheek against his affectionately. A grin flew across his face. He couldn't stop this feeling even if he wanted to. Clarissa had exploded into a bouncier version of herself and Damon really liked it. Her glee was so tangible it was inside of him, becoming his.

"You're just the greatest thing in the whole wide world, D!" She gushed in a chirping, delighted, voice, bouncing back from him. Her words spiraled through him, lighting everything up. He felt ridiculously smug. Of course he was the greatest thing!

Clarissa was his little human, his little hummingbird, and she had built herself a damn birdhouse right inside of him. There was no going back from this. Later, he knew, it would be an issue, when they left New York and he had to face the reality of the situation: Clarissa was mortal and he would be leaving her anyway once he freed Katherine.

But Damon wasn't going to worry about that now.

Oh no, Damon was going to focus only on Clarissa, their skyrocketing glee, and soak in every second of her company as she bouncily led him around New York. She deserved that much and so did he.

"You should get a hummingbird tattoo," Damon said, contemplating whether or not he should reach for her hand. While part of him wanted to, another part didn't. He liked her fluttering about around him, he didn't want to restrict her movements. And yet, he wanted to put his hands on her even more so than usual. He figured it had to do with her bright happiness. He wanted it.

Clarissa fluttered back to him, wiggling both arms around his and clinging to him. "I was thinking MINNIE MOUSE!" She grinned widely. "A really simple design, like, the outline of her face with her bow being colored in. And then whoever becomes my one true love, can get Mickey Mouse! Isn't that just precious?"

"Sounds dumb." He said dismissively, irritated by the idea. "You're a hummingbird, not a Minnie Mouse. Your one true love is sugar, you don't need some stupid human boy to complete you. Hummingbirds are free, and like the hummingbird who goes from flower to flower for nectar, you fly around looking for soda." He was a fucking genius. Maybe he should sell advice. Tattoo advice.

Clarissa looked like she was considering his words for a breath of a nanosecond before snatching his hand and bounding down the sidewalk, instantly distracted. Grinning, he tugged Clarissa back to him and swept her up by the waist, spinning her dramatically around the sidewalk.

"I'm FLYING!" Clarissa shrieked, flapping her arms. Christ. "DREAMS DO COME TRUE!"

If asked, Damon would assure you that he had purposely flung Clarissa into a passing stranger (causing the two to topple to the ground, Clarissa cawing like a crow the entire time) and that he hadn't accidentally lost his grip.

I LOVED everyone's input in the reviews, even when you tell me what kind of day you're having! Just in case anyone has forgotten, what Clarissa (and now Damon) refer to as a someone being a "birdhouse", is just someone who holds importance in your soul. I KNOW CHEESEY AS HELL. Right now for Damon, he's not considering it in a romantic way.

DO YOU GUYS WANT DAMON TO GET A TATTOO? (Minnie Mouse tramp stamp? ;D)

I'm up totally up for pairing Jeremy with Anna. ...OR KOL! haha.

And now, I shall answer more questions.

Q: WHY THE F DOESN'T CLARISSA HAVE VERVAIN YET?
This you guys have been asking me since... I think, chapter 3? I'M SORRY! 1) Damon doesn't know where the vervain is! 2) Stefan only had enough to give to Elena! 3) Even if Stefan attempted to give Clarissa jewelry with vervain in it, can anyone see her accepting it? She'd use that against Stefan. Like "Elena, your boyfriend is trying to give me jewelry! WHAT A PLAYER!" 4) When Damon gets the vervain, he's probably going to hold off giving some to Clarissa... Just because he likes to have the ability to compel her. I know. Vampire dickery.

Q: Why hasn't Damon told Clarissa that Katherine is alive?
Despite Damon and Clarissa becoming buddy-buddy, Damon is still a secretive little vampire. That, and, at this point he hasn't even known Clarissa for a month and he's waited a 145 years to free Katherine. He might trust Clarissa, but he's not going to trust her with this. I think a part of him is afraid to tell her, too, doesn't want her to put any distance between them.

Q: ALARIC
YES. Of COURSE! Alaric is Damon's BEST FRIEND! Damon-Clarissa-Alaric adventures WILL happen. Poor Alaric. He has no idea what's in store for him. If you guys ever want to see any kind of vampire dickery/have any kinds of mischief they can get into, lemme know! I'll make it happen ;D

Q: Stefan/Clarissa friendship!
Eep! It'll happen. Without Damon having the feels for Elena, Stefan and Damon will patch things up eventually. Clarissa is the kind of friend who will hate, no questions asked, the people her friends hate. So Stefan-Damon feeling brotherly, Clarissa will accept her friendship feels for Stefan. But she's still going to make his life hell, because Clarissa is a dick. Ripper!Stefan and Clarissa friendship, on the other hand... Hmmm, well, we'll have to see!

Q: Clarissa/Originals friendship!
I FORESEE CLARISSA BEING KILLED OFTEN!

Q: Kol/Clarissa?
There will never be, at any point, any kind of love triangles. Not even one-sided feelings. Clarissa is a one Damon kind of gal.

Q: DARISSA SOON.
Clarissa and Damon are both in complicated situations when it comes to romance! I KNOW, GUYS. I know. Damon will resist any kind of romantic feelings that may stir because, despite his flirty nature, I believe him to be extremely loyal. Emotionally loyal, anyway. Until he realizes Katherine isn't in the tomb, he's not going to get into a relationship with Clarissa. I CAN promise that they're going to come to the Katherine Being Alive discovery a lot (A HELL OF A LOT) sooner than in the show. But that doesn't mean they're not going to lose control and ravish each other every now and then in the meantime! ;D DGfleetfox gave me a great idea to help Damon's progression in his Clarissa feels. Thanks, lovely!

Q: NO ANGST!
A few of you have had concerns about Clarissa and her tears/Clarissa hurting Damon. This is, first and foremost, a FLUFFY PRO-HAPPINESS fanfiction! Clarissa is not, at any point, going to become depressed. She's had some few breakdowns (it's hard waking up in a new body) and she's got her mommy issues, but she's a strong girl. Clarissa and Damon aren't going to get into petty fights for the sake of angst/plot. I PROMISE!

I REALLY wanted to get them to the pretend vampire bar, but with the storm upon me and my internet already flickering in and on (GDI SHITTY INTERNET) I want you guys to have something! THANKS FOR READING! :D