I'd like to dedicate this chapter to everybody that reviewed - I love reading reviews :D And especially to sara71 who interpreted Will and Lizzy's interactions so beautifully :D

Well today it's my Easter and still I found time to retouch this chapter and post it.

I just hope it's ok.

Previous:

I walked inside hand in hand with my sister, both of us immersed in our own worlds. We didn't meet anyone on our way to our bedrooms. We said good night and entered our own sanctuaries.

I was so wired that I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep. I changed into a pair of shorts Pjs and a red tank top and flopped into bed. My mind was racing, playing the events of the day on fast-forward, only replaying at a normal speed the moments with Will. I settled better in the bed as I realized I couldn't say what had Caroline or Jane or Charlie did all day today. I was slipping into the realms of imagination as one last thought came to mind. Today there was only one person that commandeered my whole attention: Will Darcy.

OooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

Of course we didn't talk about it the next morning. Or the morning after. Or the morning after that. Actually he acted – behind closed doors and in spaces that ensured our privacy from the world – like the most thoughtful and caring boyfriend. Only then. Because outside those moments, he was William Darcy, the most egotistical, self-centered asshole. What makes me say that? Because it was the truth in his eyes, because everybody knew him as such and because I wanted to believe he was lying to himself.

I guess that only goes to show what little experience I had in this new terrain. And how little patience I had for this side of him I didn't like.

"Liz, come on, one more length and then we can all go home." Jane had been pushing us further and further, making the practices drag more and more into the evening.

Of course, Charlotte was already out of the water, standing on the chairs next to the pool, keeping my sister company. She was finished before me not because Jane was a darling and had cut her some slack, but because I had too little will to get away from Will's kisses. Yes, I had acted again like a hormonal teenager and had dragged Will into the coaches changing room during our lunch break.

With that in mind, I finished the set of laps that Jane had been so kind to make me do extra. I touched the pool's wall and instinctively turned towards the timing board set on the other side. I tuned out everybody around me as I caught my breath and focused – for a change – on the board. Will I see my name up there at the Olympics? Will I manage to do this? Do I have the willpower to fulfill this dream for Jane?

I sighed and shook my head, not daring to think that the answer to all those questions could be a negative slap across the face. I had to be strong. I had every reason to be, I was in top shape, the federation believed in me enough to select me for the team, and I was beginning to put my life in line.

I got out of the pool and started walking towards my friends. Jane was talking whispery with Charlotte. I took my towel and wrapped it tightly around me as I reached the seats.

"Took you long enough. You should be thankful I love you so much." Charlotte smirked at me. We always teased each other. This was our way of motivation.

"I did my best, I did my best…" I shrugged my shoulders, smiling at the two in front of me.

"Actually, you didn't." My wonderful, perfect, NICE boyfriend decided to butt in the conversation. "I saw you at your best and now you were mediocre." His eyes were a bright blue, like I loved them to be, but everything about him showed disapproval.

"Darcy, when I will want your opinion, I will make sure to ask you." I had a few other remarks I would've liked to voice, but something stopped me. Instead, I avoided a confrontation. "Now, you're in my seat." There were no chairs left unoccupied because with Jane, Charlotte and Darcy stood Charlie, Caroline and – I wonder way I wasn't surprised by it – Colin.

Will looked up at me, his eyes almost dancing with delight. "And where do you propose I sit?" and I could see he was trying very hard to hide his grin. "You can sit with me here. That's the best I'm offering." My eyes probably weren't able to widen more that they were widened now. I'm sure to the others it seemed I was taken aback by the gross invite, but Will and I both knew my surprise was from his bluntness.

"Don't be stupid. It can't hold us both." I snapped quickly out of my daze and managed to not jump in his lap – a very hard thing not to do.

"Don't underestimate yourself. You're not that fat." He retorted with that cool british voice of his.

I opened my mouth to say something back.

"Here Lizzy, have my chair, I'll stay with Will." A voice rapidly said. A voice that made me involuntarily jump in Will's lap and made him almost whimper. Caroline, the dreaded creature…thing…ok, humanoid.

"That's alright. I think I won't die." I told her smoothly, almost laughing as I saw the disappointed look on her face.

One glance at the others told me they weren't so easily distracted. Charlotte was almost pressed against Colin, but she was looking at me like she had figured it all out. Jane was frowning at us, her eyes moving from me to Will. Charlie looked smug. He gave us another one of his You'd-better-thank-me-later looks and took the attention away from us, opening a new topic of conversation.

I wanted to pay attention and listen on the conversation, eager to please everybody and trying hard to keep the smirk I was feeling inside bubble itself to the surface. It became harder and harder as I felt Will's hands grab my hips and pressing me harder against him. I thought he would stop at that, and return to his original position, but the hands stayed on me and oh, boy did he know how to use them just right. He made no gesture to attract attention; his hands just kept running circles on my swimsuit, spreading a warm, fuzzy feeling all over me.

"You'd better stop that. Somebody will notice." I mimicked whispered to him. He was driving me crazy.

"They're bored of us already. We had the traditional fight, now the only way they'll acknowledge us is if we start tearing each other apart." His hands moved upwards, under the towel that was now draped over the both of us.

"If I start mauling you, you think they'll notice?" I asked sarcastically, wriggling my hips, trying to get away from him. But his hands tightened around me, stilling me in place.

"Elizabeth," and his voice was low and raspy, "don't do that again." I couldn't help the evil smile that spread on my face. I affected him as much as he affected me.

"Stop what?" I feigned innocence. "This?" And wriggled again.

I heard him growl under his breath and it was so intense and – I hate to admit it with my friends at the scene – erotic I almost responded in the kind.

"I don't know how much control I have left." He whispered in my ear, his breath fanning over the skin of my neck. He pressed me harder against his chest – LIZZY!!! His NAKED chest – and I understood how affected he was and how much control he had left.

I wanted to turn and kiss him, I wanted to be able to leave, to tell the other we had to go somewhere, I wanted to be alone and I wanted to be able to kiss him without thinking about the consequences. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized I couldn't do any of those things with him.

"You're not wearing any clothes." I remarked in a whisper, trying to get his mind off of things.

"I'm wearing my swimsuit. And it's not helping." A vision of him without said swimsuit popped in my mind.

"Tell me about it…"I shook my head, the image dissolving. "What you meant when you said I was mediocre?"I remembered our snappy talk earlier.

"Exactly what that means. You were mediocre. You've been mediocre for the past several weeks." And he was sincere. Cold blood sincere.

"It's practice Will. Don't tell me you give 100% at practice." I refused to think about what he said.

"Of course I'm not. Nobody does that. But I can tell when you practice to win and when you practice to practice. Right now, you're practicing for the sake of practice." And he seemed keen on making me think about it.

"You know shit. You know me for what? A couple of months? And you think you can figure out the mode I'm in when I practice?"

"A year and a few months. Don't play dumb, Elizabeth, it doesn't suit you." And without even a physical gesture, I felt slapped. Hard. "I've watched you a couple of times swimming. It seems different, that is all." He amended with a sigh. But I was still fuming.

"You have no right to critique me." He insults me and that's my best comeback? I should slap myself.

"I have every right as your fucking boyfriend to want what's best for you." A quick glace back at him told me his eyes were on the way of becoming the midnight blue that meant trouble. "I just noticed something is different. You would tell me what it is, wouldn't you?"

I couldn't help but snort. "Yeah, whatever. Thanks for the care, but you wouldn't understand." And I made to stand up, but his arms were like vice around me.

He pulled me back down and I felt his lips on my ear. "Make me understand then."

That gave me the strength to pull away. I was in an instant on my feet, I was giving Will a look that could've been translated into you're-in-dangerous-territory!-don't-push-your-luck! His eyes were steadily locked with mine, no expression on his face, but I knew what he was saying. Tell me! Talk to me!

I shook my head no! and then turned towards the rest of my friends. They were all curious looking at me, then at Will.

"I'm cold, I'll go change and then we can leave?" I said-asked looking at Jane. She nodded and I was off.

In an instant I was in the locker room, adjusting the water temperature of the shower. As the hot water hit my tired muscles, I couldn't help my legs give way and I slid down on the tile wall, hugging my legs to my chest, the water pouring on my back.

I heard Will's whispered plea again, and it felt as he was here with me. Make me understand. A sob escaped my lips.

I want to trust somebody. Oh God, I wanted to make him understand. To tell him everything. "I want to, William." Powerful sobs raked through my body. "So much…"so, so much. "I just…can't" I can't tell you, I can't even cry properly.

Was it that obvious? Was I really slacking? Because he was right. Something was getting nearer and nearer and I could feel it pressing down harder on me.

Soon, almost in a month, there will be four years from the accident.

Charlotte felt it was a sentimental crap to hold onto that date, to mourn it every time it came, but I couldn't help myself. I died then. Something in me, something precious, died. For my parents, for Jane even, the date simply didn't exist. It was like in an airplane: 10B…11B…12B…14B. No thirteen row. Well for the Bennetts there was no 5th November. It was the date that marked the last tear I shed.

I stayed like that, curled up on the shower floor until the water got cold. I hastily dried myself, dressed and went outside to get to Jane. They were all where I left them, Will was clothed, and my sister was looking at me, asking me with her eyes if anything was wrong. I shook my head no, and then pointed at the car.

We said our goodbyes and when I turned to Will, his eyes showed hurt. Maybe he hit himself when he was changing. I smiled at the thought as I made my way towards the car.

Jane knew better than to drill me with questions so we had a pleasant trip home. There, things changed. My whole family was home. I was trying to inconspicuously go to my room, but mother had other plans.

"My dear," that was Jane no doubt, "dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Can you help me set the table?" I thought I had escaped, but as my foot hit the first stair, I heard "And you too Elizabeth. Help Jane."

I sighed and turned towards the dining room. I helped Jane set the table but I didn't want to participate. For a while now, dinners in this family were a sordid thing. Jane grabbed my hand and forced me to sit just as my father and younger sisters appeared at the table.

We were discussing trivial things, my father asking my opinion about a book I recently read, and Jane trying to teach Lydia and Kitty some manners. This happy conversation stopped when mother came with the food.

As usual, she offered everybody a plate of her wonderful cooking and with some effort and, from what I could see, a lot of pointed stares from my father, she even offered me. I gratefully took the kind, although forced, gesture and thanked her.

The conversations started again, but my mother's voice made it hard to keep up with anything not related to her topic of speech. And she was asking Jane about Charlie. Of course. Jane was blushing and fumbling with answers to my mother's direct and, not that discreet, questions. My father was absent, reading the evening paper, Mary was mimicking playing a piano in thin air and Kitty and Lydia were whispering, probably about the new movie where Brad Pitt was showed shirtless or something.

I couldn't help smile at the site in front of me. This, ladies and gentleman, it's the circus Bennett family. I wasn't included in it. Not because I thought myself superior or that much better, but in that moment, as any other moment at dinner, I was sure that if I got up from the table, my absence wouldn't be noticed. My mother was clear: you are no longer my daughter. I was so used to feeling like this around her, that I wasn't affected anymore.

"Elizabeth, don't smile like that. I don't see you bringing any boy home." Her voice addressing me at dinner almost made me fall off the chair. Mother must be sick.

"You know me mother. You know me too well. I'll die a spinster." It was so amusing to see the look of disbelief on her face.

"If your attitude is as bad as your mouth, no doubt nobody wants to deal with you." And she actually puffed her cheeks at me.

"Ah yes, but you should see my bed manners. I think that's what keeps them away." And at the same time I heard four "Lizzy!" from four distinct persons. Jane was disapproving, Kitty and Lydia were laughing, Mary was grossed.

I heard a shrill yell of my full name from my mother's lips. I looked at her as she opened her mouth, but my attention was changed to my cell phone buzzing in my pocket. I took it out as mother's words flew through me, barely registering that she was talking at all.

I looked at the screen and saw I had a new message. I opened it and I couldn't help smile at what it said.

From: Char

I'll keep it short: Call me when you see this. I'm uber happy!!

The last line stressed her need to talk to me.

I repeat: call me when you see this!

With what I'm sure was a big smile on my face, because I was offered an escape, I looked up at my mother who was turning redder every minute. I stood up from the table, and she stopped talking/ yelling.

"Please excuse me. The dinner was lovely. Thank you." And clutching tightly in my hand the cell phone, I made my way to my room, taking two steps at the time.

I closed the door, opened the window to let the cool evening air in the room, and pressed sent to call Charlotte.

After three rings, she answered panting. "Lizzy, took you long enough."

"Well, excuse me for not rushing in to call. I was at dinner if you must know. You interrupted my mother explaining to me why I will die alone and forgotten." Charlotte would understand the sarcasm in my voice.

"Ohh, it must've been fun, I wish I was present!" Us both knew there was no bigger lie. I didn't wish I had been present. "As delighted as I would be to hear how your mother dragged your love life through mud, I have news of my own." That got my interest rising.

"What are you waiting for? Spill."

"I think you already know that Colin and I form a couple." And how I wished that was untrue. "And you know how much I like him and he likes me…"

"Yes, unfortunately. At least your part of the deal, I'm sure about." His part left much to be desired.

"Well, I'm pretty sure of his commitment since from two hours ago, I'm the future Mrs. Williams." I think I had a brain freeze. Who's Williams? And why would Charlotte change her last name? I guess she expected some kind of reaction from me because after a few seconds, Charlotte added: "Well, what do you have to say?"

"I…umm, Char? Why are you changing your last name?" I was totally confused.

"Lizzy, you can be dense sometimes, really. It's custom for the girl to take the guy she marries last name." She continued explaining to me the mechanics, but I was busy collecting my jaw from the floor. Charlotte is marrying? To Colin? I guess Colin Williams.

"Wait a second, are you telling me that you're getting married? To Colin?" I did nothing to mask the disbelief in my voice. "Char, it's not April Fool's Day, but it's a good joke nonetheless! HAHA!!"

"I am serious Elizabeth." And her voice held no more happiness. "I had hoped that since you were my best friend, you would have found it in yourself to be happy for me." Bringing our friendship in this was a low blow.

"Charlotte, of course I'm happy for you." I'm a good actress, what can I say? "It's just that…I…" thought you had more sense than the dimwit you seem to be if you marry Colin. But I couldn't say that. Act best friend-y! "I'm still shocked. I mean it's so sudden." Yeah, that was perfect. And because I had found this perfect tune, now I could play along. "I didn't expected. Tell me all about it."

Charlotte dismissed my first reaction fairly easy afterwards as she began describing to me in detail what Colin did, where he proposed, how excited she was, how happy he was that she had said Yes! – that's a no brainer. Of course he was delighted. A guy with his personality and wits, getting a girl like Charlotte? I would've been extatic! – how her parents were throwing "the happy couple" an engagement party, bla, bla, bla. Of course I said 'oh!' and 'ah!' and 'lovely!' at all the right places, at all the right times, but that came from years of training.

Inside I was dying piece by piece. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to go to Charlotte and beat her up until she saw sense. I wanted to wake up and realize it was a nightmare. My 21 years old best friend was not getting married to the most dull, most patronizing – except a said boyfriend –, most pompous, generally idiotic man who I ever had the misfortune of meeting. He is the worst combination of snobbish and obsequious. And Charlotte said yes! There must be something wrong with the universe.

I realized the discussion I wanted couldn't take place over the phone; so again, I told Charlotte how happy I was for her and hung up.

My mind was still trying to work around the new situation as I lay in my bed, tracing patterns on the ceiling. I faintly heard the phone ringing, but I had enough bad news to last me a while, so I ignored it. It rang two more times, then whoever was searching for me gave up. At about the same time, my mind gave up and shut down. All I hoped was that the morning will show me it was all my vivid imagination.

I hoped...

I have a small request for you: who's past story you want to hear first? There is no question both Will and Lizzy will tell their story, but in the next two chapters, one of them will spill the beans...so, who would you like it to be? I preffer it to be Lizzy, especially since this whole Charlotte getting married fiasco is too much for her to handle at the moment.

I'd love to hear your thoughs. Oh and about Colin proposing...dunno, i felt that showed it best what mistake Charlotte was doing. Anyway, there will probably be more scenes with the two of them and Lizzy...

And about Lizzy and Darcy....would you like someone else to know? I played with the idea of Jane pressuring Lizzy into confessing, but I wasn't sure about it...

Anyway, hope it's not such a bad chapter and don't forget when you review, tell me your choise and maybe explain it :D