CrazyA&Joker: WEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMMPPIIIONS! NO TIME FOR LOOOOSERS COZ WE ARE DA CHHAAAMPPPIOONSSSS! OF THE WOOOORRRLLLDDDD!!! ^^
CrazyA:For those who are worried about our sanity: HEATH WON THE OSCAR! Woot! So we're just very VERY drunk and hyperactive. Plus, this is the chapter before the big, KICK-ASS scene of the next chapter. Also, if you find my 'REPO! The Genetic Opera' reference then you get a high-five and a 'surprise' from Joker. Start reading!
11. …
'Must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well...'-Goodnight and Go, Imogen Heap
A night ago, a whole bunch of explosive nonsense happened when Jack found me sitting comfortably on the couch. Tonight, I wasn't going to let that happen again.
My laptop was turned off, and all movies with Heath Ledger (RIP, Our Auzzie Angel) were stored away in my DVD cabinet. I was eating carrots, even though I wished otherwise, and any bottle of red-wine that I had was stored away in the locked spare room. I even locked the front door, in case he decided to spring a surprise visit on me again.
A whole night to myself at last.
Oh, and Noodle.
But apart from her, no one else could be here to spoil it. No more questions about my sex life from Jack, no more dress-ups, no more nothing...
...
...
...
...Good God this was boring.
I can't believe I actually needed him to have fun. That was just plain weird. He was terrifying, insane and just overall weird. But he made me laugh, made me think, made me smile. So that's what drove me to pick up the phone and dial a number straight off the top of my head.
My sister. It would be pretty early in the morning over in Japan, but I was sure that she wouldn't mind getting a call from her little sis. The dial-tone ended as she picked up the phone, sounding extremely tired.
"It' 午前中s 3、何がほしいと思うか" Susan's voice was weary and tired, so I knew I woke her up from sleep. But I remained positive, just like in everything I've ever said to Susan.
"Konichiwa, big sister!" I said merrily.
"What? Jess? What the heck are you calling me up at three o'clock for?"
"Oh you know how it is with me; I never really understood the time differences of the world...So what's up?"
"My ceiling. Now can you hang up? I've had a long night of work and I need some sleep..."
"How's everything?"
"Jess, go away."
"Oh come on, Susan. I hardly ever call you and now suddenly here I am, but you ask me to hang up. That's not exactly fair, y'know."
"Jess, for all that is holy, hang up."
"Did I mention that I've met someone?"
"What? Who? Huh?" There we go, I got her at last.
"He's nice...he's my neighbour..." I said, tucking my knees under my chin.
"What, Jack? You've mentioned him before. I thought you said he was married..."
"I'm honestly not so sure anymore..." I said, as truthful as can be.
"Look, Jess...this is wonderful and all, but please can I get back to sleep?" Susan begged, talking through a yawn. I sighed and let her go, hanging up after a few-dozen goodbyes. Back to boredom...I didn't dare call Kait in case she was back at work again. I didn't want to get her fired...I stroked Noodle's soft fur, giving her all my attention and 'wuv'. Of course, she decided to use the bathroom, and jumped off my lap to her litter box.
Great, even cats thought I suck.
I stared at the phone for what felt like days, wondering if I dared to call him. I was scared about having a second round with Thalia's anger.
"Oh for the love of crap, just do it!" Jester screamed. I did as told and picked up the phone, dialing as quick as I could the number next door. As the dial-tone rang, I knew that I was having second-thoughts about the idea. He picked up eventually, somehow knowing it was me.
"Jester, it's a beautiful thing to hear your voice..." he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm...and yet I still blushed slightly. I don't know, but I just felt at peace when I heard his voice again...corny, right?
"Shut up, Jack." I wasn't going to let him know that, though... "I just called because..." There was silence tangled in the conversation; awkward, pitiful and humorous silence.
"Because what, kitten?" Jack asked slyly. "If you're going against the whole... 'sex strike' thing...I'm gonna have to tell you, I'm a married man."
"Yeah, you wish. I just called because I want my questions to be answered."
"What questions? I've been working on our little project this whole time..."
"Don't play dumb, you know perfectly well what quest- wait a minute, you're finally working on my dress?" I asked, sitting up straight.
"Jester, I was always working on your little party getup. But only now have I taken a true interest in it." His voice was dark again, had to be cautious...
"And why is that?" I asked, not putting any cheek in my voice.
"Let's just say...I've got plans, as much as I hate them..." he said, chuckling at his own private joke. Change the subject before things get ugly, Jess...but actually, he changed it first. "So what did you want to ask me?
"What's your last name?"
"Oh not this again..." he said at first, turning silent for a minute. "I don't have a last name."
"What?"
"I don't even exist, kitten. According to the government, I'm completely... invisible..." he cackled with laughter, making me wish that I hadn't called him up after all.
"Well I can see you crystal-clear, Jack. And I'm pretty sure that you had a name once in your life...mind telling me what it is?" I heard more laughter on the other side of the phone, but he never did answer me. "Wait, if you don't exist then how did you get married to Thalia?"
This time he was practically wetting himself with laughter...kinda scary, actually. "Thalia isn't my wife."
...
...
...
"WHAT THE FUCK!?!!?!" I screamed. He started up his laughter again, roaring and cackling and crying all at once. "Oh Jester, you really are too much. Thalia likes to think of us as a married couple, but-tah... we're not legally married. It was a small little ceremony done in a back-alley somewhere."
I calmed down a bit; my shivering anger came to a rest. He was definitely starting to mess with my mind. "Okay, moving on... what are you doing at the moment?"
"You really do fancy me, don't you?" Jack asked. "You're even trying to stalk me over the phone."
"I repeat: You wish. I just want to know what you're doing, that's all." It sounded like a really piss-poor dial-up-girl call if you thought about it...Jack probably was, for he started cracking up laughing again. He does that a lot...
"If you must know, I'm watching the coloured-box..." he eventually replied. I nodded, feeling as if we were having a perfectly normal conversation right in the same room. I slumped down lower in my couch pillows, getting myself comfortable. "And what does a... young little kitten such as yourself do in the little late nights like these?"
"Call up mad dogs and watch the news," I laughed. I heard him laugh with me, a normal not-insane laugh...One that was actually pleasant to hear and made me smile. "Wait a minute, Dent's campaign ad is on channel...seven if you wanna watch." I heard him searching for his remote as he changed channel, throwing it aside and sitting on the couch again.
"Gotham: A city with dreams and bright futures," Harvey Dent said as he walked down the street 'naturally'. Way too fake for my taste, but hey, at least his promises are better than his opposition's. "But first off, we gotta clean some mess and get criminals off the streets." He smiled at the camera as he walked, a crowd of people slowly joining up behind him.
"So people of Gotham, do you believe in Harvey Dent?!" he called, turning on his heel to everyone that was following him.
"We believe in Harvey Dent!!" They screamed on the top of their lungs. The started clapping and cheering, Dent giving a final wave to the camera before asking with a raised eyebrow, "Do you believe?"
"That. Was. Hilla—rious..." I muttered sarcastically, still talking to Jack as the ad finished. "Are you going to vote for him?"
"Yeah, I'm a believer..." he said with a chuckle.
"Ditto," I laughed with him. Time stopped between us as awkward silence and tension grew. "Did you want to hang up? Cause you must be pretty busy with-"
"Can I come over?" he said. "Last night we had a bunch of laughs, and I wanna go on the second round-"
"Sure, I'll put on a movie," I said at once. Well that was quickly decided...
"Alrightie, Jester. Just promise me it won't be another... 'chick-flick'...that would be hell for me." I laughed as he hung up, watching him turn off the lights in his house. I put the phone back, not caring about Thalia for once. It was a movie, she was out, and that was it. He'd be gone when it finished, what would be the harm? Besides, I knew exactly what he would want to watch...
By the time Jack came, I was already at my microwave getting popcorn ready. He sat down on the couch, laughing at the opening title.
"Beetlejuice?" he asked, calling over to me in the kitchen.
"Tim Burton classic, Michael Keaton stars in the title role. It's hilarious, gothic, and so daggy that it hurts...so shut up and enjoy it." I took out the popcorn from the microwave and called over my shoulder to him, "How do you like your popcorn? Salt, butter or both?" He shrugged, so I put in both. The carrots had retreated to the fridge, out of sight as popcorn took their place.
Noodle followed me to the couch, wanting some for herself as usual. I threw a piece over her head, watching her chase after it as fast as possible. Jack laughed, watching her with me. "She's a...strange little moggy, isn't she?"
"Always has been," I said, watching her run. I wrapped my dressing-gown tighter around me. Just because Thalia was gone and I was alone with Jack didn't mean that I could flash him my legs and anything else my PJs revealed. I wasn't that sort of girl, Jester on the other hand was.
"Oh come on, Jess!" she whined, kicking and screaming like a little toddler. "Just snog him already!" I could not believe I was imagining this...she's like the room-mate from hell, but inside my own head. I ignored her and sat on the other side of the couch from Jack. "Have you seen this movie before?"
"Heard of it," he answered. "Can I ask you a question?"
"That was a question. Would you like to ask another?"
"Where are you from?" he asked. "You're from over-seas I know that much...but where from?" His fingers touched my skin lightly, making me develop a bad case of goose-bumps. "You have the skin of a European girl...and you do have a bit of an accent...London?" I could barely concentrate on the question...it was just the way he touched my skin...so lightly, so casually...but just so much meaning if taken the wrong way...it was a wonder that he couldn't hear my heart beating, it sounded so loud in my own ears.
"I...I'm from Australia, actually. Straight outta Perth," I answered, trying to kid my way out of the situation. It wasn't working...at least, not for me...I gulped, pretending that I had a cough and moved further away from him, shrugging him off.
But damn, was he persistent.
He suddenly 'fell' over on top of me, so that his knees and hands were the only things keeping him from falling straight into my chest. I couldn't say anything, so I merely gasped for air underneath him, wondering how the hell it could get any worse.
"Score one for the Jay-girl!" Jester yelled from the kitchen. I tried blocking her out, which was easy for me since I could just listen to the echoing beats of my heart.
...
...
...
And all he did was stare back, smirking as usual. His tongue darted out, licked the scarred side of his lips, as he reached out a hand...
...for the popcorn, which was resting behind my head.
"Sorry about this, kitten. But I'm just a hungry guy..."
"You asshole."
"Shush, don't talk during the movie." He grabbed the bowl and put it on his lap, claiming it as his own. I sat up, just in time for Noodle to jump onto my lap. "By the way," he said through a mouthful of popcorn. "You don't look like an Auzzie...no offence or anything..." I shrugged, trying to forget about my little awkward moment.
...
"Apparently we have same tastes..." I heard Jack mutter as B.J leapt up from his grave. I looked at him, wondering what was up, but he just watched the screen. He was smiling, so it was a good pick in movies. I just watched Michael Keaton in his panda-like makeup, laughing when appropriate. Usually, I can't laugh when watching films, but being with Jack made me ease up. When B.J tried to grope Barbara, I actually rolled my eyes and had the courage to say, "Wow, he reminds me of someone..." And all Jack did was just laugh with me.
I realized then and there that I did need Jack. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, he lightened up my life better than Kait or Susan ever could. I really liked him, not just because he was handsome and mysterious, but he was a really good friend... and it was fun seeing him like this.
How I wish I could have stopped this night from ending...how I wish and want with all my heart that Jack had stayed like this forever. But back then, I didn't know that the night we had would be the last one when he was like this...calm, happy, and actually fun. Still freaky, sure, but just...
...
...I don't know anymore...
About half-way through the movie, I let out a yawn and curled up on the couch, Noodle jumping off of me and crawling next to Jack. It had been a long day and I was exhausted from the shopping and heart-racing moments. I closed my eyes, resting them for only a minute...but then sleep overtook my plans and I drifted off, breathing deeply and completely at ease.
**
Jack laughed, nearly knocking the bowl of popcorn off of his lap, but paused when he noticed something.
She wasn't laughing with him.
He looked over, smiling at the sight of her. Jess had slept in the same ball as she had the last time he stumbled upon her like that. She was only just getting to sleep, so he kept quiet...
...
...but that didn't stop him from poking her on her pointed nose.
...
...
...poke.
Suddenly, her leg flew to his cheek as she turned over in her sleep, muttering something to herself as she curled back into the ball. It hit him square in the jaw, full-on exposure to pain. Jack fell off the couch, popcorn scattering in all directions, as he howled with laughter. He bit his lip, trying to keep quiet so that she could listen to her quiet mutterings.
"Cake is for Graverobber..." Jess whispered, trying to get comfortable. Jack chuckled and felt a vibration in his back pocket. Thalia's phone. She had left it at home when she left and he kept it with him since he didn't have one himself. He pulled it out, staring at Jess' sleeping form.
"Jack?! Oh God, Jack help!"
"Thalia what is it?"
"Jack, something happened...I-I can't tell you now but please, I'm coming home right away...okay?" Her voice was breaking and she sounded terrified, talking in between sobs. "Jack I'm so sorry...I lost everything...please, please don't be mad at me..."
"Shush, shush, shush, Thalz..." Jack replied, trying not to wake up the only sane person in his life. "It's gonna be okay, just get back home..." He hung up and chuckled, getting to his feet and walking his way to the door. "Everything's going smoothly..."
He gave a last look at Jess, quickly running on light feet back over to her. He placed a kiss on the cheek, feeling her smooth skin underneath his rough scar, and left into the night before she could wake up.