I don't own Twilight it's just fun to play with.
Bella's POV
I woke up about 11, dressed, and went to check on the girls. Ali was sleeping soundly and Clair was lying in her crib frowning. I picked her up and took her down stairs. She picked at part of an apple fritter and drank her milk. The frown turned to a scowl as soon as the fritter was gone and I had given her diced ham and peas. She pushed everything as far away as she could get it without putting it in the floor. I cleared her high chair tray and let her down. She walked into the living room and climbed into the big over sized chair and curled up. I handed her a sippy-cup of water and turned on cartoons for her. She dozed off again quickly. I cleaned up the kitchen and sat down on the couch and started working on my book. When Maria got to the house after work alittle after noon she wasn't surprised that Clair was asleep. She gathered her up and took her home. I checked on Ali who was still sleeping and I decided to lie down for a while.
I woke up to Ali growling as she did when she was sleepy and trying to wake up. I went to her room and took her downstairs where we snuggled on the couch. I loved sleepy days when she was cuddly! Usually she was running around playing. I took her into the kitchen and fixed her lunch. She ate and then I took her out to her swing set. I pushed her in the swings until she caught sight of the horses. Then she wanted down and made a beeline for Shadow who was leaning through the fence waiting for her. She giggled and squealed as he gently nuzzled her. I snapped a picture and sent it to Jaz. I watered the horses while she loved on the pony and then scooped her up to feed the chickens. I laughed as Shadow snorted in protest and followed us as far as the fence would let him. She played with the chickens while I fed and watered then and then she helped me gather the eggs. She insisted she carry one all the way back to the house.
She was so proud when she got to the house with her egg. She insisted I cook it for her. I scrambled her egg and she proudly ate it. She's so precious! While she ate Jaz called my cell. He chuckled as I told him about Ali and her egg. He told me that one of his classes was only meeting Mondays and Fridays and it was his last class of the day so on Wednesdays he would be home an hour and a half earlier. I was so glad I would see him soon. I missed him. He asked about Ali's night last night. He felt bad that he wasn't home to relieve me so I could have rest. When Ali finished her egg, we hung up. Ali wanted down she was recharged and ready to play. She ran to her kitchen set and played all afternoon I cleaned house and got Essy's favorite peanut butter cookies ready for when she came home. I knew she had a rough morning and hoped that she was a little more secure today.
When Essy came through the door wearing a scowl my heart sank as she stormed up to her room ignoring me completely Edward followed her in with a grim look on his face. Then she stalked down the stairs to the kitchen. I heard a huff of disgust and then she began banging things around.
"She started getting pissy the closer we got to home." he whispered just as Essy stalked out of the kitchen to the stairs carrying a bottle of water.
She turned to face me and snarled, "You do know that I am NOT a baby, right? Stop making cookies for me!" then continued up the stairs. I stood there stunned trying not to take it personally. Dr. Black had warned me that she would most likely lash out and I was the one she was most secure with so I would get the brunt of her anger.
"Bells? Are you ok?" Edward worried.
"I'm fine!" I said.
"She is so angry and I don't know how to fix it." He sighed miserably.
"You two are her safe targets." Dr. Black said as he followed Edward in.
"Jake would like to visit with us." Edward said sinking on to the couch.
"Esme is regressing somewhat. It seems all of the change is making her insecure. She needs someone safe to lash out at and I think it will be you two. Her relationships with both of you are the only ones have stayed the same. She is angry about the change and seems to be insecure about her relationships with Jasper and Harry. She is worried about losing them and doesn't trust them to come back. You are a safe target for her anger because you are the two constants in her life. The thing to remember is that, if she is lashing out at you then she trusts you not to abandon her. It's nothing personal." Dr. Black said after we were all seated in the living room.
"We won't take it personal. Thanks Jake!" Edward said.
"Edward," Essy called from upstairs.
"I'll go talk to her." he smiled sympathetically.
We watched as he ascended the stairs. Then I confided in Jake, "I am worried about this next Dialysis appointment. There won't be any one here with us and she is always so pissed at me all evening after. Usually Jaz is there for her because she won't let me be and she is always so weak and cranky after."
"I will be there to help during the procedure. Edward will be watching Ali so maybe he can help with Essy until she goes to bed." Jake suggested.
"Another thing I wanted to talk to you about is Esme told me that she wished Edward were her dad and that since her dad left that he should take his spot." Jake said.
"She is so angry right now." I said miserably.
"If you need anything call me." Jake said before sweeping out the door.
I played with Ali until Edward and Essy came back down stairs. Edward motioned for me to join them on the couch.
"I am trying to explain to Essy why she is better off here instead of my house." he said sadly.
I inhaled sharply. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut.
"Then you can stay here!" Essy clipped to Edward, "We need someone here! Everyone has left me. I need you here." she finished in a sob.
Edward looked as stunned as I felt.
"Essy, sweetie, I have to stay at my house. There would be no one to take care of Maisey."
"Bring her here! PLEASE! please, Edward!" she sobbed.
"How about I stay until you go to sleep." he said.
"Will you take me to school?" she asked.
"We'll see." he said. She snuggled close to his side and stayed there.
"I'm going to go start supper. I think Em and Rose are going to join us for supper. Gram and Pops already had plans for dinner." I said.
"Good! We don't need Pops anyway!" Essy spat. Edward and I exchanged a worried look as I headed for the kitchen. I started the potato soup, hollowed out the bread bowls.
Rose walked into the kitchen followed be a meek looking Emmett, "Wow! Why is Essy so riled up! Emmett was going to tease her about Daisy and got a death glare for just walking into the room."
I filled them in on all of the events of the day concerning Essy. Rose and Em where in shocked.
"So she is taking all of this out on you?" Rose said softly.
I nodded suddenly feeling weary. Em engulfed me in a huge bear hug, "Bells I am here if you need me!" he told me. It was all I could do to keep it together. I felt a single tear rolling down my cheek and wiped it away quickly. I was exhausted and with all of the crap that was happening I was emotional. I gently broke the hug and ask if he would mind setting the table then handed Rose the left-over Peanut Butter Cookies to take to the table. I needed a couple minutes to compose myself. After the soup was done Emmett carried the pot to the table and I took the bread bowls in. We all sat around the table and ate. Everyone was uncharacteristically quiet this evening all except Ali. She chattered and made her rounds. After supper I started to help Essy clear the table.
"I can do my chores myself! I don't want your help!" she spat at me.
"Essy, you're pushing it. It's ok to be upset but it is not ok to take it out on everyone." I said.
"You could have made them stay! But you chose not to!" she spat as she stomped around the table gathering dishes.
I let it go for now and walked out of the room. Edward stood frozen outside the door, "That's not fair." he said gently as I walked on by. I needed to go calm down before I dealt with her, bursting into tears wouldn't help anything. I walked in to the living room and scooped up my Ali girl. I took her to the bathroom and started her bath. She babbled and splashed happily. She was so carefree so I played with her until my heart felt lighter too. I dressed her in her favorite pajamas and we went back down stairs just in time for Jaz to skype with the girls. I sat Ali down by the screen and she started chattering to Jaz. I called for Essy and she stormed outside. I followed her and she sat in the rocking chair stubbornly.
"I don't want to talk to him" she spat.
"Essy, he loves you. He won't get to see you tonight if you don't talk to him." I said softly.
"I don't care! He left me!" she growled.
"Essy," I started but then thought better of it. "Ok, I guess you will talk to him tomorrow when he comes home."
"I don't want him to come back." she said then stood and walked out to the fence to pet the horses. I sighed and went back in to the house. Edward was holding Ali while Jaz read her a bedtime story. After Ali fell asleep Edward took her to bed and I took the computer into the dining room and closed myself in.
"Where's Essy?" he questioned.
"Being stubborn! She has been very emotional today." I said, "She says she doesn't want to talk." I filled him in on Essy's break down before supper but left out our conversation on the porch.
Jaz looked stricken, "I knew this would be hard but not this hard. I don't know if I can do this!"
"It will take some time to adjust. Give it awhile! Just remember why you are there! I know it's hard but it will be worth it in the end." I reassured him.
"I just hate that she's so upset. If she doesn't want to see Pops will she want to see me?" he worried.
"I am sure tomorrow will be better. When she sees that you come back when you say you will I think she will calm down. It's just going to take time." I said trying to comfort him. He looked so sad and all I wanted to do was hold him.
"Darlin' I need to go for now but I will call you later! I love you." and then he was gone. I had heard him voice crack and saw the tears welling up in his eyes and it just killed me to know that he had most likely broken down in to tears. Tears burned my eyes as I fought to reign in my emotions. I sat there taking deep breaths and thinking over my list of things I had to do tomorrow. I finally go it together and went to help Essy get ready for bed. Em and Rose sat on the couch waiting for me.
"Edward is outside with Esme. She's in his car. She told him that she is going with him weather he likes it or not." Emmett said.
"It just keeps getting better." I sighed and went to help Edward.
"Bells I don't know what to do! She won't get out. She asked me to stay the night and I told her I couldn't. She threw a fit and got into my car." he said.
"If we give in to Esme's demands and you stay then she will pull this all of the time. Here take my truck!" I said handing him my keys.
"She said she would run away if I left her." he said miserably.
"You can't give in to her. She is trying to blackmail you into staying! I know it is rough but you have to go head and go." I said.
"Call if you need me. I will come by tomorrow to take her to school." he said.
"I think it would be best if I took her." I said, "I will drop your car by to you after I drop Essy off at school."
Edward looked panicky, "Ok" he groaned.
He handed me his keys and then left. Emmett and I stood on either side of the car blocking Esme from getting out until after Edward left. It broke my heart to see her screaming for him and begging him not to leave her. She fought hard to get out then when he was out of sight she crumpled into a heap of sobs. She still refused to get out. Emmett scooped her up and carried her as if she were a tiny child up to her room and laid her on her bed before leaving. I followed them upstairs and as soon as Emmett closed the door I helped a still whimpering Esme to get ready for bed.
"Everyone always leaves me." she whimpered.
"Hon, Edward had to go home to take care of Maisey. No one has left you." I said.
"Dad has!" she insisted.
"Your dad will be home tomorrow evening. He is going to school to build a better life for us. Essy, he loves you, Ali and me and he will always come home to us. Do you know he misses you just as much as you miss him?" I tried to sooth.
"I don't know." Esme said softly.
"He hates being away from us." I said.
"Is he mad at me for not talking to him?" she asked tearfully.
"He's not mad Essy. He was sad that you wouldn't talk to him. He loves you and hates that this is so hard on you." I said.
"Is it too late to call him?" she asked shakily.
"No. If you want to talk to him I can call him right now." I said dialing his number.
"Hey Darlin' How is everyone?" he asked dejected.
"Better. Essy wants to talk to you." I told him.
"Really! Great! Put her on!" he said excitedly.
I handed Essy the phone and checked to make sure her window was still locked and the alarm that would alert me to it opening was still in place. After I was satisfied that that I would be alerted to a runaway attempt I took Esme's hamper to the laundry room to give her some privacy. Ten minutes later the land line phone rang. When I answered it Jaz was on the other end.
"I sang her to sleep. Go get your phone and I call me back." he said.
"Alright! Love ya!" I said.
"Love you too. Talk to you on a minute!" he said.
I replaced the receiver and made my way to Essy's room and slid my phone out from under her hand. I covered her up and headed down stairs. I called Jaz back and I told him about the whole Edward/Essy exchange and then we talked for a few minutes before he told me to get some sleep and he would see me tomorrow. I locked the door, went up stairs, set my alarm and climbed into bed.
I woke up Wednesday morning to my alarm and hurried down stairs to open the door for Maria and Clair in. I unlocked the door and turned on the porch light and sat down on the couch to wait.
When Maria came in she seemed irritated, "Is Edward here?" she asked.
"No. He has my truck." I said.
"Oh." she took Clair up to the spare room. When she came down I told her that whole story. She was dumbfounded.
"Bella, I owe you an apology! Edward told me that he wasn't ready to get into a relationship and admitted that he was still hung up on you. Yesterday afternoon when I called him. I was hurt because I really like him. When I saw his car here this morning I jumped to conclusions that I shouldn't have." she said, "I should have realized that you would never cheat on Jaz. I am so sorry!"
"It's not a big deal! Edward does care for you! He just doesn't want to rush into a relationship before he's ready and risk hurting you." I told her.
"I-I didn't know." she stammered.
"I am going to tell you something and it's just between you and me. Edward doesn't think he deserves to be happy because of the way our relationship ended. He is very hard on himself." I told her.
"Wow! I had no idea. Thanks for your insight." she smiled.
"Oh before I forget, I need Clair's car seat. I am going to take Esme to her school and swap vehicles with Edward."
"Ok. I'll stick it in Edward's car." she said as she waved bye.
I locked the door and checked on Clair who was sound asleep with a scowl on her face. Next I looked in on Ali who was sprawled out in her bed with a slight grin on her face. The last door I opened was Esme's fear gripped me as I looked around the room and found no one. I flew to her window to find it locked up tight. I checked the bathroom no Esme, I ran down stairs and checked all of the doors and windows where locked. I ran back to my bedroom to grab m phone. How could I have lost her? I grabbed my phone and dialed Edward and just before I hit send I saw her curled around Jaz's pillow sleeping soundly. I took a deep breath and headed down stairs my adrenalin rush would make it impossible to sleep now. I fixed some coffee and started working on my book on the porch swing as the new day was born I put the finishing touches on my book and sent it to Kate. She would be thrilled that I had finished my book three weeks before the deadline. I laid my computer aside as my truck come down the drive. Edward walked onto the porch and sat down in the rocker.
"How is she?" he asked exhausted.
"She's ok! She and I had a chance to talk after everyone left. She ended up talking to Jaz too. She's looking forward to Jaz coming home this evening." I said.
"Can I pick her up from school? I heard her begging me not to go last night and I almost couldn't do it." he said the pain bleeding through his tone.
"If you want to you can take her to school this morning." I offered.
"Really? If you don't mind I would ready appreciate it! Thanks Bells." he said. I lead him into the kitchen and poured him some coffee. I fried some eggs and a few slices of bacon. He made toast and we sat at the table and ate. We chatted like old friends. I talked to him about Jaz and he told me about Maria. We laughed and talked until we heard movement upstairs. I excused myself to get the girls up. Esme was in the shower and Ali was awake so I took her with me downstairs and passed her off to Edward and went to check of Clair. I scooped a grumpy little girl out of bed and took her to the table. She grouched and growled as she ate her breakfast.
Edward took Essy to school and I took the girls outside to play on the swing set. They squealed in delight as I pushed the swings. They were entertained for an hour and a half where Clair wanted down. I let her down and continued pushing Ali while keeping a careful eye on Clair. I smiled as she toddled over to my flower bed, plopped down in the middle of it, and began smelling flowers. Ali took notice and it wasn't to long before she wanted down and joined Clair. I took a few pictures of the girls swelling flowers. Ali picked an aging Shasta Daisy and toddled over to me, handing me the yellowing flower. My heart melted at the sweet little grin on her face as I took the flower from her. The next ten minutes Clair and Ali picked and handed me every remaining flowers in the flower bed. I smiled at the sentiment then lovingly shepherded the girls in to the house to wash up for lunch. The girls ate their macaroni and cheese at the coffee table and then went to play with the kitchen set while I cleaned up lunch.
I had just finished the lunch dished when Maria came in and I showed her the pictures of the girls. We watched the girls play for about 15 minutes before Clair realized that Maria was there. She then squealed and ran to her mom. When she was preparing to leave I realized Edward had her car seat. I explained the situation and told Maria to take Ali's and we would swap back tomorrow.
After Maria had gone I put an exhausted Ali down for a nap. Then I cleaned house and got things ready for Jaz to come home. I started supper which would be a huge family meal with everyone here.
Edward and Esme came into the kitchen just as I was pulling out the bread bowls and she squealed and hugged my tight. She loved the broccoli and cheddar soup that I always put in these. I sat the baking dish down and hugged her back. She grabbed some plates and set the table. I had everything sitting on the table and everyone was there waiting on Jaz to get home. When Esme heard him she scooped up Ali and raced outside to meet him. I could hear him chuckle and then he came carrying Ali and hugging Esme. Everyone said their hellos and then Jaz come to me. He handed Ali off and Esme stood beside him as he pulled me into a hug and kissed me softly. "I missed you! I can't wait til tonight when we are alone!" he murmured into my ear. I kisses him softly and then we went to eat. Esme told him all about her day and as we ate and Ali insisted on sitting on her daddy's lap. She babbled on and on to him as well. Everyone visited until 8 when Jaz told everyone that it was good to see them but now it was family time. Everyone except Victoria was ok with leaving. She was a little put out at being told politely to go. She tried to act ok but the tears she tried to hide told me otherwise. I was just glad Jaz didn't see her.
After everyone was gone Jaz sat in the living room with the girls and read them stories and listened to their antics while I quickly loaded everything into the dishwasher and cleaned up supper. When I joined them Ali was asleep in Jaz's arms and Esme was leaned into him almost asleep. I scooped Ali up and took her to bed while Jaz walked Essy to her room. They visited for several minutes before they said goodnight. I had gathered the dirty laundry and started a load. When I turned I saw Jaz leaning in the door way with a lazy grin on his face.
"Hi," I said. I grinned as he swept me into his arms and carried me up to bed. I had missed being in his arms I didn't realize how much until now. We lay across the bed holding each other. I felt so warm and safe that I could feel sleep overtaking me. I tried to fight in but lost.
The next thing I remembered was my alarm going off signalling me to get up and go let Maria and Clair in. I wiggled out of Jaz's arms and quietly made my way to the bathroom. When I came down stairs the house was filled with the heavenly aroma of coffee and my sexy cowboy was sitting on the porch swing. I giggled at the sight. He wasn't fully awake yet. I stepped out on the porch and he absently handed me a cup of coffee.
"Babe, you do realize it is 3:30 and as soon as I get Clair laid down I am going back to bed, right?" I asked.
"Huh? Its 3? Ok. he said walking back past me, kissing my cheek on the way by, and heading back up to bed.
I chuckled at the sight of him wobbling up the stairs half asleep. I picked up the coffee cups and took them to the kitchen. As I was headed out of the kitchen I heard Maria come in and head upstairs to lay Clair down. I waited for her to come back down. She came down chuckling.
"What?" I asked.
"Jasper is laying in Ali's floor beside her bed holding her hand. It's so cute." She said.
I smiled, "He loves her so much."
"I can tell!" she said before she said good-bye and left.
I walked into Ali's room and woke Jaz, "Babe, come to bed." I told him. He groggily followed me to the bedroom and flopped into bed asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. I smiled as his arm snaked out and pulled me to him. I snuggled into him and fell asleep.
At six we were awakened by the alarm and Jaz was wide awake this time. We went down stairs to the kitchen and fixed fresh cups of coffee. He chuckled as I told him about his 3 o'clock morning. We where sitting on the porch drinking our coffee when Victoria pulled up. She bounced up and ask Jaz to go eat breakfast with her. She made sure to add just you and me. I got up and walked into the house leaving Jaz and his mother to talk. I couldn't believe she was asking him to give up his time with the girls to go spend 1 on 1 time with her. I understand that she missed him but the girls needed him and they didn't get to see him very often.
About 5 minutes later I heard, Victoria cry, "Fine!"
"Mom, please I want to spend as much time with Bella and the girls as I can before I have to go back. You are welcome to join us for breakfast." Jaz pleaded sadly, "It's not that I didn't miss everyone else it's just that you all don't live with me so I am not use to seeing you all on a daily basis. I miss so much when I am away. I miss hearing Ali giggle in the tub when she splashes me on purpose, I miss getting to tuck the girls in at every night, and I miss falling asleep with my wife in my arms. I couldn't sleep while I was away because I missed them. I do want to spend time with you too but I need to be here."
There was a low mumble then Jaz said, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way but I am staying here."
When he came into the kitchen he looked so defeated. At that moment I could have ripped Victoria's head off. How dare she make him feel bad for spending time with his girls and I. I put my arms around him and gave him a comforting hug.
"I just wish she understood." Jaz groaned.
I started breakfast and Jaz went to wake the girls. By the time they came down I had fluffy blueberry pancakes, southwestern style scrambled eggs and bacon. We sat and ate breakfast laughing at the story of Jaz getting stuck in an elevator at school. He was telling the story so animatedly that Essy was about to fall out of her chair laughing. We kept visiting as the clock ticked off the last few precious seconds we had together before Jaz had to go but It was only for one night then he would be home Friday. I was still worried about Essy's dialysis appointment this afternoon. When Jaz left to take Essy to school and then head back to school Ali and I headed for the couch. It was earlier then she was use to getting up this early. She lay on the couch with a dazed stare trying not to fall asleep. I checked my email and smiled when I saw an email from Kate. When I read it I was soaring. My bully book was on a fast track to being printed and top Psychologist Irina Denali, a cousin of Kate's wanted to get quotes from my book to use in a lecture she was giving. She also wanted to meet with me and possibly promote my book. The only thing is that I would have to commit to go with her on a three day weekend book signing tour. I had to think on that. I called Jaz to visit about it.
"Hey, Darlin'. Missin' me already?" Jaz answered.
"Always!" I replied.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Well, I got an email from Kate this morning. Her cousin is the top psychologist in the state and she wants to promote my bully book." I said, "The thing is if she's going to promote me then I have to commit to a three day weekend book signing tour next month. I just don't know if we can swing it."
"Babe, do it! This is a once in a life time opportunity!" he said firmly.
"but the girls and..." I started.
"Bella! You said it was on a weekend. I will take a Friday off of school and we will all go. That way we will be able to spend time with each other. It's your turn to get to live your dream." Jaz said.
"Jaz, this was never me dream!" I said.
"Would this even be an issue if you didn't have Essy and Ali?" he asked. I wanted to argue that it would but I knew it wouldn't have been.
"That's not the point Jaz!" I said.
"We will be there with you. So it's not an issue. When are we going?" he asked ending the arguing.
"I'm not sure. I haven't got the details yet. Jaz are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes! This is a chance for you to be recognized." he said, "Now get off of the phone with me and call Kate and get the details because we need to be making plans. Good bye Darlin' Call me back with details! I love you!" and then he hung up on me.
I grinned and called Kate.
"Kate Denali."
"Hey Kate. I got you're email." I said.
"Wow Bells I didn't expect you to call so quickly! I figured you would still be talking to Jaz." she said.
"Well he kind of told me that I was doing it. He's going to take off and he and the girls are coming with me." I said.
"Wow! That's great! Bells, I wish you would reconsider writing a biography. You and Jaz are saints! I would read that book and I already know the story!" she said.
"I'm just not sure I want to relive everything, you know?" I said.
"I understand that." Kate said, "I will call Irena and set up a meeting. I figure it would work better for us to come to you since you have so much on your plate."
"That would actually be great!" I said.
When We hung up it was nine and time to go wake Clair up and feed her breakfast. I chuckled at the sight of Ali fast asleep on the couch. I went up stairs to get Clair. She was still sleeping. I scooped her up and started waking her up. Little miss Clair groaned and squeezed her eyes shut tight. I carried her down stairs and sat on the couch with her. I tried to no avail to get Clair to wake up. I sat and held her for another ten minutes before trying again. She growled and groaned and angrily opened her eyes to see how had woken her up. Then crawled off my lap onto the couch. She then curled up behind Ali and closed her eyes again. I heard a soft chuckle from the door and looked up to see a very dirty, sweaty Edward and a perky, happy Maisey bouncing around his feet.
"What happened to you I said as I opened the screen door.
"I was going to come by early to see if I could catch Jaz before he left but my car broke down. So I ran the rest on the was and still missed him." Edward said sounding a little disappointed.
"Jaz's schedule changed. His study group is meeting in the mornings so he gets home earlier now but he has to leaves earlier in the mornings." I told him. Then headed for the laundry room to get him something to change it to because there was no way he was going to sit on my couch as filthy as he was. He followed me into the doorway of the laundry room and chuckled as I handed him a towel and a pair of Jaz's jeans and a shirt.
"So I am banished to the bathroom, huh?" he asked.
"Until you are clean!" I giggled then pointed toward the downstairs bathroom.
"Alright, alright! I'm going!" he said in mock surrender.
I coaxed Clair to eat some breakfast and woke Ali again. She cheerfully ate a little snack and babbled happily. After the girls ate I took them outside to play. Claire was a little slower to play then Ali but she slowly warmed to the idea of being awake. Soon both girls were running all over the yard squealing and playing. I sat in a swing on the swing set a watched the girls play. The bang of my screen door caught my attention and I looked up to see Edward step onto the porch. I noted that Jaz's jeans jeans were a couple inches too long and the shirt that hugged Jasper's biceps sort of just hung on Edward's.I smirked at the thought of Jaz's body and had to rein in my thoughts.
"Like something you see." Edward teased.
"I was just noting how much bigger your brothers muscles are then yours." I picked back.
"Ouch!" Edward chuckled, "That one stung alittle."
I knew there was a little more truth to his statement than he was letting on. I felt a pang of guilt for my statement but I also knew I couldn't let him flirt with me either. I knew he still had feelings for me because he had told me. I needed him to move on. If We could just go our separate ways it would have been easier but with him being my brother-in-law and his mother and sister/niece living with me we were so closely intertwined that it was impossible not to see him several times a week. Since he picked up Essy for school and brought her home alot. He watched Ali while I took Essy to dialysis and just came to visit the girls regularly.
"Jaz will be back about 3:30 tomorrow." I told him, "Or you could call him."
"That's alright. I just was missin' having family." he said, "I just wanted to visit with my brother for a few minutes."
"and you ran all the way here just to see him." I said watching Gram's car pull up the driveway. I internally braced for the show down that was bound to follow.
"Yeah, wow that sounds so stupid hearing it out loud." he said.
"No it doesn't. We all miss Jaz." I insisted.
"Well, don't you two look cozy. I wonder what my boy would think of this? Did he give you permission to have company?" Gram said venom lacing every word. She was still pissed about this morning and was out to spread some misery around.
"I don't need permission to have company over in my own home. And I don't appreciate your implications!" I growled at her, "and I would advise you to either keep a civil tongue in your head or leave! You will be polite in my home!"
"Well, I can see where I am not wanted! MY SON will hear about this! I'm sure he won't be happy about his own mother being thrown off his place!" She sniped turning on a heel and storming back to her car.
I sat there dumbfounded, stunned by my mother-in-laws actions! What had just happened? Why was she all of a sudden being so cold and hateful? What was I going to tell Jaz? What if he didn't understand? I was in full-blown panic mode. I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Edward talking on the phone.
"Hey Jaz!" he was saying, "Just calling to give you a heads you! Your mother was here and was less then cordial with Bella." there was a pause I could hear Jaz's raised voice and knew he was upset but I couldn't make out what he was saying, "Well she insinuated that there was something going on between she and I, then she asked if she had your permission to have company," 'What' came a yelled response through the phone Edward paused listening and then said. "She told her that! Well, she was alot nicer then the way you just did." there was a brief pause then Edward chuckled, "She told her that she had to keep a civil tongue in her head or leave and I thought your mom was going to stoke out! she turned bright red and then told Bells that her son would hear about how she was thrown off the place." there was another pause and I could see the darkness creeping into the corners of my vision and realized I was going to blackout. I laid back in the grass and then I was out. I was vaguely aware of Edward beside me calling my name. I finally was able to get my bearings and become fully aware. When I did I realized Jaz was on speaker phone and was as frantic as Edward.
"Jaz?" I croaked.
"Darlin' are you alright? I turned around sweetheart I am coming home." He said his voice very near panic.
"No, Jaz! Go to school. The sooner you get through it the sooner we don't have to keep saying good-bye." I said weakly.
"Edward?" he said.
"I'm here."
"See if you can fine someone to watch Ali so you can go with Bells to Essy's appointment then I will go to school but I don't want her alone. Can you stay with her until I get home tomorrow? If you can't I am coming home!" he said firmly.
Edward said promised not to leave my side and hung up the phone then started dialing as my phone rang. I answered it and it was Jaz.
"Hey! Are you ok?"
"Jaz I am fine, I just let her get to me! Really, I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter!" I insisted.
"I know you don't but I am worried about you. If I am going to be able to get through today at school I need the assurance that you have someone with you just in case you are not fine." he said softly.
I heard him saying Hello to Maria and I was irritated when he gave me a worried glance and then gave me a thumbs up. I scowled at him and turned my attention back to Jaz. I sighed.
Jaz chuckled,"Bella, I know, I am being over protective but I just can't help but worry!"
I knew why he worried so much. He had lost so many people in his life he was terrified of losing someone her loved. "I understand Jaz." I said.
"Edward wants to talk to you" I said as I put the phone it to Edward's waiting hand.
I went into the house to clean up. I felt queasy still and a little light headed so I sat down on the couch. Edward brought the girls in and noticed me.
"Are you ok? You're kinda looking Green." he said concerned.
"I'm fine!" I growled trying to sound irritated. There is no way I couldn't tell him that I was dizzy it would scare him after what had happened.
"Ok! Well, Maria is coming to watch the girls and then Jaz has called Dr. Call and talked to him about the situation. He wants to see you right after we get Essy settled." he said seeing the scowl on my face he continued, "Bells? We are all worried about you. I will never forgive myself for what I have done to you." he finished softly and I could hear the pain in his tone.
"Edward, I am fine! I'm sure this is totally unrelated to my accident." I said. I seeing the skeptical look I decided to behave. I could see Edward that he felt like this was his fault and I didn't want to make him feel worse. then he already did!
"We will let Dr Call be the judge of that!" he said.
"I can't believe the he called my Doctor!" I said.
"If he hadn't have then I would have!" Edward said firmly looking me squarely in the eye.
Maria pulled up and came straight into the house. She sat down beside me and started checking me over. Edward excused himself and stepped out on to the porch.
"How are you feeling, now?" she asked.
"I'm fine" I said weakly.
"Cut the crap, Bella! What are your symptoms." she said firmly.
"I'm a little light headed but other then that I am fine." I confided.
Soon It was time to go and I started to get you and apparently blacked out again because the next thing I know I am in Edward's arms and he is carrying my to his car. Edward gentle sat me into the car and drove me straight to the hospital where Dr Call was waiting.
"But Essy!" I said.
"I have spoken with Dr. Black and he is bringing her." Dr Call said.
"Jaz is on his way back too." Edward said gently.
"What? Why would you do that?" I roared and then regretted it because my head was pounding again.
"Bells, I panicked! I couldn't wake you up. Maria had to calm me down. I called Jaz and told him to get back here." he said.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Jaz who was panicked, "Hello?" he said in a shaky voice.
"Hey!" I said.
"Bella, thank God! Were are you? You had better be at the hospital."
"Jaz, I am at the hospital. Your brother is sitting here watching me like a hawk. I'm ok. Just calm down and get here in one piece. I love you. " I said.
"I love you too! Let me talk to my brother." he said. I put it on speaker and handed in to Edward who was too upset to notice.
"Edward?"
"Hey, Jaz!"
"Keep your eyes on her! I am about 15 minutes from town. I headed back the first time but don't tell her that." Jaz said.
"Too late Jaz you are on speaker!" I growled in annoyance.
"Uh- I was worried about you! I was just going to see for myself that you alright and then I was going to head back." he admitted.
"Just get here!" I said as a tear slid down my face.
Edward wiped it away as Jaz said he would see me soon. I was feeling light headed again. It seemed when I got mad or irritated is when this started to happen. I hung up with Jaz and turned to Edward, "Can you get me a nurse to take me to the bathroom?" he nodded and popped his head out of the curtain an summoned a nurse. Then stepped out.
"I am feeling a little bit lightheaded. I really don't have to go to the restroom I just didn't want Edward to hear." I told her.
" He does seem pretty intense." She flipped through my chart and gasped, " I didn't know you married Jasper."
"Yeah! It was a private ceremony a couple months ago." I said.
"I will let your doctor know." she said as Jasper rushed in.
"Hey Darlin' " he said, "How are you?" he put his arms around me and held me tight. I fought hard not to cry but the tears came along with the dark rings around my vision again. then everything went black. I could hear the commotion around me after I went limp in Jaz's arms. I could hear Jaz yelling and then someone laid me back. I felt what must have been a needle bite into my skin at my inner elbow. I could hear someone barking orders. I started to come to and Dr Call told me to "Stay down." Jaz was back by my side holding my hand.
"Essy?" I reminded him.
"She's fine! Edward's got her. He and Dr. Black are with her. She knows that you are with her doctor. she said it was ok." he smiled. "Dr. Black said she told him about a dream she had were you and Edward and I were her kids. Then asked if the dreams where memories."
"What did he tell her?" I said.
"The truth. That they were memories." he said.
"She knows?" I asked, "Oh God! How is she? Jaz, I have to see her?"
"Bella, you need to calm down. Your blood pressure is spiking and you are in danger of losing consciousness again." Dr Call warned glaring at Jaz.
"Babe, she's ok. She is visiting with Edward now. She knows he is her son." Jaz said.
"She was very calm when the nurse started the dialysis treatment and no one had to restrain her. Now calm down!" Dr Call said, "I am ordering a head CT but first we need a routine UA to make sure you are not pregnant." I chuckled at that. I wasn't pregnant.
I gave the necessary sample and then longed on the bed waiting for my CT. Dr Call came in and sat on the chair at the foot of my bed.
"Bella, you are pregnant!" he said.
"What?" I said and then leaned back against Jaz's chest.
"Bella, you seem to have hypertension. I am going to start you on blood pressure medication. As soon as that kicks in you may go see Esme." Dr Call said.
"A baby!" Jaz whispered reverently into my hair as his hands started caressing my lower stomach.
"yeah." I asked shakily.
"Bella, are you ok with all of this?" he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice.
"I'm happy, Jaz! I just wasn't expecting this! We had planned to wait for awhile." I told him and I was happy but I just couldn't see how I was going to be able to handle all of this.
"It'll be alright! We will work through this." he said, "We could hire someone to take care of the farm and then I could rent a place near campus and you and the girls could come with me."
"Jaz, I would love nothing more then to do that but it's just not possible! Esme's treatments, her school and Dr Black. She is making so much progress. We can't just uproot her and I will not leave her behind." I said rationally.
"I know." He said sadly.
The doctor came in and gave me my blood pressure medication and instructions on how and when to take it. We sat there for the fifteen minutes that he said it would take to kick in and then we headed up to see Esme. Edward was pacing the hall.
"Edward, what's wrong?" Jaz said.
"She remembers us. Well, Kind of everything! She doesn't remember having Ali. She asked about Carlisle and where he was. Dr. Black and I explained what happened. She is heartbroken. Dr. Black did tell her about Ali and that you all adopted Ali." He said.
Tears burned my eyes. I couldn't imagine what Esme must be feeling finding out about what had happened to her. I sunk into a chair and put my head in my hands. Jaz was at my side immediately.
"You ok?" he murmured. I nodded.
"Oh, hey, did they find out what was wrong with you?" Edward asked kneeling in front of me.
"My blood pressure, Dr. Call put me of medication." I said not ready to share the news with anyone yet.
"Oh." He said.
"Ok, guys!" Dr. Black said taking a seat next to me, "She's ready to see you all. I trust Edward has filled you in." We all nodded, "She has asked to see Bella alone first. She feels she owes Bella a debt of gratitude for all of the care she has given her."
I rose and crossed the hall to Esme's room. I paused momentarily before I knocked.
"Come in." came Esme's voice. It no longer sounded childlike.
I opened the door and stepped into the room to find her sitting in the bed waiting for me. I started to take the chair beside her bed but she reached for me.
"Come here, Bella! I can't thank you enough!" She started.
"Esme," I breathed, "I…" tears burned my eyes and she pulled me into a motherly hug that I had craved for so long. I had missed her.
"Shhh! Sweetheart! You have done so much for me." She began and I started to sob, "You and Jaz rescued Ali and then you all rescued me. Then when it would have been totally understandable to place me in the mental hospital. Edward said you refused and took me into your home. I remember all the care and time you have spent with me. You are a wonderful person. I am so lucky to have you as a daughter-in-law. Thank you!"
"Esme, I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for you!" I choked out.
"You did what was best for all of us. You sacrificed a lot." She said.
"I was afraid you would hate me." I said.
"How could I hate you?" she asked.
"I adopted Ali. She calls me momma and Jaz dada." I said, "And part of me is terrified of what will happen next." I said.
"Bella, I don't remember having her. I love her but she is your daughter and I can see myself spoiling her as any grandmother would." She said, "Also, I really don't want to go to that school anymore. Today was frustrating."
"Whatever you want the only reason you were only going there is for your occupational therapy and counseling with Dr. Black. You really liked it so we let you stay all day." I said wondering what in the world was next.
(Esme's memory is back to stay! I know in real life it would come back over time and that was the plan but as I have said before the stories kind of twist on me and even I am surprised at the end!)
I motioned Jaz and Edward into the room and Edward rushed to his mother's side, Jaz was concerned that I had been crying.
"What happened Darlin'? Is everything alright?" Jaz whispered.
"I just missed her! She's back. It's so good to have her back." I said softly then took Jaz's hand and walked over to his mother.
"Mom!" Jaz said walking over to the bed.
"Jasper." She cried as she hugged her boys.
I sat in the chair I felt a little vertigo but at least I hadn't blacked out. After Esme's treatment we all headed back home to find an angry mob waiting for us consisting of Dad, Pops, Rose, and Emmett. Victoria was in the house playing with Ali.
"Why didn't you call me?" dad growled.
"It was just my blood pressure. I got angry today and it spiked causing me to black out. Edward over reacted and so did Jaz." I said.
"You're blood pressure?" Dad turned white as a sheet then softly in a terrified voice, "Are you pregnant?"
"She is. Dr. Call put her on medication and she is doing fine now." Jaz beamed not thinking of the rest of the crowd.
Everyone was talking at once until dad said, "You're mother had trouble with her blood pressure when she was pregnant with you. A spike in her blood pressure is what caused the stroke that killed her. Bells, What if…" Dad looked so terrified.
"Dad, Dr. Call is going to be my doctor. He will be keeping a close eye of my blood pressure." I assured him. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was staring at me like I might disappear. I looked at each ones face. Pops was a mirror of my father's face. Emmett looked concerned. Rose had tears in her eyes torn between being happy for me and terrified for my health. Edward looked as if he might throw-up. Esme was a mixture of Emmett and Rose. Jaz held me tight looking a little afraid.
"I will be fine! Dr. Call is aware of my birth record and will keep a close eye on me." I said.
I was relieved when the screen door banged closed behind Victoria and Ali . Ali ran to me shouting "momma" and I scooped her up.
"You're pregnant?" She asked, "I'm going to get to spoil another one."
"YOU, IN THE HOUSE NOW!" Jaz growled.
She looked stunned, "Jaz!" She chided.
That was the wrong thing to do because Jaz exploded. "What in the hell do you think you are doing?"
"What?" she said confused.
"You come over here and were very hateful to her. You caused her blood pressure to spike in the first place. You aren't allowed here alone anymore unless I am here! I won't have you upsetting my wife. You will call me before you set foot on this property again! Are we clear?" Jaz growled at her. Then he turned to everyone else, "I think it is time for everyone who doesn't live here except my brother to go. Bella is tired and I want her to relax." He said as he ushered me into the house. Ali and I curled up in the oversized chair. Esme and her boys sat on the couch. Ali grew restless and wondered over to Esme and wanted her attention. Esme beamed at the baby girl and scooped her up. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in bed and I could hear the TV on down stairs. I looked at the clock it was eight thirty. I checked on Ali who was sleeping soundly and I made my way downstairs. Edward and Esme where hanging out on the couch.
"I heated up a lasagna and garlic bread." Esme said, "Do you want me to fix you a plate?"
"No, I got it. Where is Jaz?" I asked as she followed me to the kitchen.
"Ah…He had something he needed to deal with." She said.
'Victoria?" I asked.
"Ah…I…ah…" she stammered.
"It's ok, Esme! I'm not going to get upset." I coaxed.
"Yeah." She said.
I fixed my plate and headed into the living room. I ate and we watched "Wild Hearts can't be Broken" I kept an eye on the driveway. When I went to put my plate up Edward followed me.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"I'm alright. How long…" I started
"Has Jaz been gone? A couple hours. He is scared of loosin' you." He said.
"Blood pressure huh?" he said.
"It was the truth!" I defended.
"A partial truth! You two are always blindsiding me." He said.
"Edward, I'm sorry! I knew it would be a sensitive subject and I wanted to tell you privately." I began.
"It's ok. You don't have to worry about me. I'm ok with it. I understand why you were against having a baby with me. I didn't want a baby for the right reasons. I wanted a baby because I thought it would fix our marriage." He said.
We went back into the living room and finished the movie and then Esme said good night. Edward and I sat talking until Jaz came home and then I watched as the guys moved the port-a-crib into Ali's room. I was just about to ask why why Edward said good night and headed into the guest room. Jaz lead me back down stairs and we sat on the couch.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Edward and I have been visiting tonight and he asked if he could be near mom. She doesn't want to leave you and Ali and so I told him to just stay here for awhile." Jaz said.
"Oh, ok!" I said.
"Bella are you comfortable with that?" he said looking worried.
"It's fine I am just imagining the hovering that Edward will do." I said.
"I can tell him no." he said.
"No, Jaz it's fine. We will make all of this work. Esme doesn't want to go back to the school so she will keep Edward busy. Maybe I can send off a email to Kate and start writing my next book." I said, "Or maybe I can just sit on the porch swing and relax!"
"That sounds good." he smiled, "I have to go back now! I will see you tomorrow! Edward has instructions to under no circumstances allow my mother here. In fact I ask everyone to stay away until tomorrow evening. I invited everyone to a weenie roast . We will discuss anything they wish then as long as they are respectful."
"Ok! Have a good night babe!" I said.
He kissed me softly and left. I retreated to my bedroom and fell asleep.
The next day was sorta fun. Edward took us all to the bottom if the trail where I had cut all of the limbs and her and Esme started stacking them in a big pile. I was only allowed to sit and watch them. Ali toddled around picking flowers and bringing them to the three of us. I had a feeling I was going to get really tired of being treated like a porcelain doll. I called Dr. Call and made an appointment or first thing in the morning.
****************************FRIDAY ****************************
I had snuck off the farm early before anyone had awakened and headed to the doctor's office. I was determined to see for myself what was and wasn't safe for me to do. I was called back to a room almost immediately. Dr. Call came in chuckling.
"So you ditched your bodyguards, I see!" he chortled.
"Yes, I did! Do you have any idea how annoying those two can be?" I ranted causing him to erupt in laughter.
"I do know how protective that they can be." he said recovering.
"I want to know what is safe and what is not safe for me. Specifically riding. My horse is very calm and gentle! I don't plan on doing anything but walking. I also love to walk the trails around the house. Yesterday was awful! I wasn't allowed to do anything but sit. I can't live like that. I am active and I would like to remain as such." I asked
"All of that is acceptable. Eventually you won't be able to ride anymore but for the 1st and 2nd trimesters it is fine!" Dr Call confirmed.
I left the doctor's office armed with a written letter from Dr Call telling me what I could and couldn't do. When I got home Edward was pacing the porch, waiting for me.
"Why didn't you wake me? I didn't know you had an appointment." he ranted.
I was in no mood for a lecture so I cut him off and told him, "Edward, I am a big girl and perfectly capable of taking care of myself! I went to see Dr Call to see what was safe to do. I won't do anything that is unsafe but you will NOT hover. I will do things for myself and you will NOT argue! Why don't you take Ali and your mom out for the day!"
"I...ah..." he stammered.
"None of that was a request! Now go!" I barked feeling slightly guilty at seeing his face. He turned to go and slowly walked away.
I enjoyed the day. I rode Diesel on the trails. There was a trail that led further on from the small pool that Jaz and I found so I rode on. I was amazed to find a large hay meadow 1 ½ times the size of the meadow we baled. I had ridden for hours and finally decided to head home. After taking care of Diesel I went to the house to eat lunch. I took a nap then sat on the porch swings. I was still sitting on the porch swing enjoying the cool breeze and the peace and quiet of being alone when I saw her car heading you the driveway. I sighed and braced for the onslaught that was to come. I waited while she parked and stepped out her face uncertain. Bree cautiously approached me like you would a nervous animal. I saw Jaz and Rylie step out of the car and head my way. Bree sat quietly in the rocking chair not really knowing what to say. Rylie on the other hand pulled me into a bear hug.
"So I'm gona be kind of an uncle again soon!" he laughed.
I couldn't help but laugh with him. His joy set the tone for Bree and she smiled. "Congratulations!" she said still a bit worried.
"Bree, is something wrong?" I asked her.
She burst into tears and then hugged me, "I am so sorry about mom."
"Hey, you aren't responsible for her actions." I soothed.
"Bree, you're going to be an aunt to two babies." Rylie said pulling her into his arms and started murmuring softly .
"Mom called her sounding off about yesterday. She's mad at mom and she was afraid you would be upset with her." he whispered into my hair.
"Bree didn't do anything wrong." I whispered back then pulled away from him to go talk to Bree.
"Bree, we are ok. I am pissed at your mom but you don't have anything to do with it." I said.
"Thank you!" she said freeing herself from Rylie and hugging me. I smiled as Rylie mouthed 'Thank you' at me.
As we walked in the house Jaz realized I was alone and sighed.
"Where is Edward?" he groaned.
"I kicked him out! I was so sick of being treated like a porcelain doll that I told him to git gone for awhile!" I said.
"Bella," Jaz sighed exasperated.
"Don't you Bella me!" I growled poking him in the chest, "I am done with being treated like "poor fragile Bella"! I won't break! I am fine! The medicine is working and I won't have anyone treating me like I could break at any moment! I saw Dr Call today and got all the dos and don'ts. I will follow doctors orders but I will do as I please!" then I thrust the letter Dr Call had written into his hands and walked into the kitchen.
I could hear them talking softly in the living room. Then Jaz came in to the kitchen poised for battle.
"I'll be damned if you are going to ride!" he said.
"Then I guess you'll be damned then!" I said defiantly.
"I'm serous Bella!" he growled.
"So am I!" I snarled back.
"I'll get rid of the horses in I have to!" He threatened.
"Seriously!" I spat hating that I either had to give up riding or lose my horse.
"Fine! You win Jasper!" I spat and took off out of the house.
"Where are you going?" Jaz growled hot on my heels.
"For a walk! Or is the allowed? I would hate to break one of your rules!" I spat angrily.
"Yes, it's allowed. Bella, this is your home, I am your husband. I just…Never mind!" he said to my back as I stormed toward the trail I had ridden on earlier.
I had seen Emmett and Rose arrive and really didn't feel like a chat. I found myself at the pool that Jaz and I had found and sat on a flat stone Glowering at the water. It was getting dark and I could see the lire light from the bonfire and here everyone down there.
I sighed when I saw a flashlight coming up the trail. I could tell it was Jaz by the way he walked.
"Everyone's asking for you?" he said softly.
I stood and started to walk down the trail when he stepped in front of me.
"Darlin', will you talk to me?" he asked.
"What is there to say? You have said your piece and I am supposed abide by your rules. I don't want to fight right now so, No! I won't talk with you!" I said stepping around him. He shadowed me keeping the light just ahead of me so I could see. I made my way down to the bonfire and sat beside Emmett on the edge of the tail gate. He wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "What ever it is we will fix it! Pretend to sleep and I won't let anyone bother you." I melted into his side fighting to hold back the angry tears. Emmett acted as a shield for me that night. a half hour later he scooped me into his arms and sat me in the truck propping me on the seat. I could hear the worry in Jaz voice as he was asking about me.
"Jaz she's tired. I am going to take her to the house." he said.
"No, I should do it!" Jaz protested.
"You obviously upset her so give her some space." Rose hissed, "Em, go head and take her home."
I pretended to sleep until we got out of sight and then I sat up a little straighter. Emmett drove down the driveway and onto the road. He was taking me to his house. We rode in silence all the way. It wasn't until he had led me into the living room and we sat down that he softly asked, "What is going on? You two never fight."
"I'm not going to be treated like a fragile little thing. I talked to the doctor this morning. I found out what was safe and what was not safe to do." I said and saw a look of recognition.
"This is about you riding." He said.
"Kinda but not totally." I said, "He came in laying down the law."
"We all know how well that goes over." He grinned. I smiled a little to at his snarky comment.
"Em, I will not have him making demands. It isn't about the horse it's about my freedom. He threatened to get rid of Diesel if I didn't obey him. I don't respond to demands and threats well." I said.
"I can bring Diesel here if you like!" he said, "I'll ride him over here and then you can come here to visit him.
"I may take you up on that if he continues to be an ass. I'll just come her to ride." I said.
"Maybe I should bring Ace and Duce too and we can ride together." He said.
"That sounds fun. You and I will have to ride together soon." I said.
"Do you want me to talk to him for you?" he asked.
"No, I got this." I said.
"So what was you going to do?" he asked.
"I'm not really sure." I told him. We lapsed into silence so Em turned on the TV. We watched old reruns on chiller until Jaz and Rose came through the door. Emmett told me good night and left the room. Rose followed him quietly. Jaz stood awkwardly in the doorway.
"I suppose you are ready to go." I sighed and started to stand up.
"Why don't we sit here and talk for a bit." Jaz asked softly.
"Ok, Talk." I said.
"I'm sorry! I just want to keep you and our baby safe!" he said.
"Dr. Call said it was safe. I would not do anything to jeopardize this child! You have to know me well enough to know that! We are a married couple! Equal partners. Jasper I do not take orders and your word is not law!" I said.
"I know." He whispered hanging his head, "But I just… well, Damn it!" I saw that he was struggling to find the words so I waited calmly, "I can't lose you. What if you… Like your mom… Bella, I can't breath." It was then I realized something was wrong. Jaz was gasping for breath and clutching his chest.
"EMMETT" I screamed as I helped Jaz to lie down on the couch. Emmett and Rose rushed in and Rose called an ambulance while Emmett tried to help Jaz. It seemed like hours instead of minutes when the ambulance got to the house. Jaz was still having trouble breathing but the chest pain and eased alittle. The EMT's loaded him and then told me to follow them. I was terrified. Emmett drove me to the hospital and Rose went to go get Edward.
When we reached the hospital I was escorted into the exam room where Jaz was sitting up in bed hooked to a heart monitor seeming to be fine. I crossed the room. I fight back the sobs but the tears streamed down my cheeks.
"They said it was most likely a panic attack." He soothed kissing my temple, "The events of the last few days proved to be too much."
Dr. Call busted through the door and hurriedly started looking over monitors and then through the chart. I fidgeted nervously sitting on the edge of Jasper's bed. Jaz tightened his grasp on me and whispered, "Easy Darlin'."
"It seems to be a panic attack. Jasper, I am going to start you on anti-anxiety medication. I want to see you next week to see how you are responding to it." Dr Call said. I noticed Jaz withdraw. I knew it was about the medication deal and his pride. I'm sure he felt like the weakest link at having to take medication but he had a lot to deal with. He was lost in thought so I answered for him.
"He gets home at 3:30 on Wednesday." I supplied.
"Can you be at my office be 4?" he asked.
"I will make sure of it." I said.
"How are you doing, Bella?" He asked.
"I'm great! With Esme back to herself, I don't have to worry so much about her. She helps out a lot more. All I have to do is take care of Ali and myself. Things are getting better." I said.
"I meant with this. Emmett filled me in on the events of tonight." He said.
"I know I shouldn't have upset him." I started.
Bella, this isn't your fault. I have been expecting one or both of you to crack under all of the pressure you have been under. You two are incredibly strong." He said then patted Jaz on the shoulder and said, "There is no shame in needing a little help now and then."
That seemed to snap him out of it, "Thanks DR Call."
"I'll send the nurse in to discharge you." He said and was gone.
The nurse came in and removed the heart monitor and the IV then handed Jaz a typewritten page and a bottle of pills, "Here is your discharge instructions and your prescription." She said. After a few additional instructions we stepped out into the waiting room. Edward, Esme, Victoria, Rose, and Emmett engulfed Jaz in a group hug. Pops and Dad hung back holding Ali. I walked over and took Ali into my arms.
"Are you all ok?" dad asked.
"We're fine." I said.
After everyone let go of Jaz, they followed us home. I sighed softly, there would be no time to visit about today. Jaz squeezed my hand and winked and then slipped out of the truck. I got a sleeping Ali out of her car seat and followed Jaz in the house. I took Ali straight up to her room. When I came down Jaz was sitting in the recliner about to fall asleep. Everyone said a quick good-bye and left. Bree and Rylie stayed the night at Edward's and Edward and Esme stayed there as well. We were alone in the house except for the sleeping baby upstairs.
"Are they gone?" he whispered.
"Yes. They have all gone home and Edward and Esme are staying away tonight too." I told him, "Edward saw through your act."
"So should we talk?" he asked.
"Jaz?" I said uncertainly.
"I'll be fine, Darlin'." He said moving to the big over sized chair and pulling me into it with him.
"Ok." I said.
"You were trying to talk to me when I blow up at you." He said, "Tell me what Dr. Call said. Start with the horse thing."
"I asked if I could still ride. Dr Call said that I could trail ride at a walk on a calm horse through my 1st and 2nd trimesters. Jaz, I know you are worried but I won't do anything that puts us at risk!" I said placing a hand over where the baby would be. "This wasn't about the horse thing though. You know that right?" judging from the guilty grin I knew that I was. "You went al cave man on me. I don't hake orders and I don't respond well to threats."
"I know! I am really sorry about what I said." He said then pulled me close, "The thought of anything happening to you just… Well…" I could here his breath quicken and stopped him.
"Jaz, look at me!" I said waiting for him to comply, "I'm right here and I am fine. Calm down." He pulled me in and started humming his lullaby. I lie in his arms and let him sooth himself. That night we slept in each other's arms holding each other tight.
(There will be a time jump in the next Chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one. Sorry it took so long to get this one out.)