Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.

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Arthur was not amused. For the record, neither was Alfred, but Alfred didn't show it as much.

"You recorded yourself singing." Arthur grounded out, twirling the tape between his fingers as he glared at Matthew. "Instead of getting a confession, you get us a song? And it's not a song that reveals anything. Just a song."

"I must have recorded the wrong thing," Matthew shrugged. Arthur growled and slapped the tape on the counter before storming off to a corner of the apartment to fully unload. Alfred slipped into his seat and faced his brother.

"Matthew…what happened?"

"I recorded the wrong thing."

"Matthew. You know what I mean. This doesn't help us at all. If there was something important that you've hidden from us, you're impeding the law."

"Yeah, well, you don't know what he said, do you? So you've got nothing on him, and you've got nothing on me." Matthew held back from smiling smugly. This was very much unlike him and personally, it was sort of scaring him.

"It's a dead end!" Arthur shouted.

"Fine, whatever. You've chosen your alliances, Mattie. We can't help that." Alfred didn't seem too upset, which sort of troubled Matthew. What was that about? "I guess we'll just have to nip it in the bud and analyze the kid. I wanted to do that from the start! It's much more fun to listen to a kidnap victim anyway!"

"You're a bloody wanker!" Arthur turned on his heel and went for the door. "I'm going to get some coffee and you talk some sense into your brother, Alfred!" With a slam and identical winces from the twins, Arthur left the apartment.

"So really, little brother. Just how close were you to Bonnefoy?"

"What are you talking about?" Matthew wrinkled his nose. Alfred smiled knowingly as he picked up the tape and started playing with it.

"You know, Mattie! You two must have been pretty hot and heavy for each other if you're willing to put yourself on a limb for him. Err, Mattie. I wouldn't have expected this from you!"

"Shut up, Alfred." Mattie rolled his eyes, his face flushing nonetheless.

"Forgetting that, I need your help." Alfred leaned forward on the counter and Matthew got the feeling they were playing pirates or something, talking about secret plans. He was on a roll of being someone else today, so he played along. "Arthur and I…we're not going anywhere."

"Okay…"

"I just…I'm not taking your advice or anything!...but could you help me? Be…more…you know…honest?"

Matthew raised an eyebrow, leaning to one side to inspect his brother, who was looking sheepish. "Making a move, Alfred? Finally?"

"Yeah, and how would you think I should seduce him?"

"Seduce?" Matthew burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but Alfred…I think it's the other way around. You can't seduce someone. But Arthur seduced you, I believe." He shook his head, as Alfred pouted indignantly. "I can't help you with that. Francis and I were…pretty honest from the get-go."

"A-ha! So you admit it! Too bad that doesn't hold well in court. Damn. So you've got nothing?"

"Nope. But I think if you keep playing the game the way you're going, it'll be okay. I think it should just come naturally. Although sometimes you can be stupid and annoying, people like you anyway."

"Really?!"

Arthur chose this moment to storm in again, breaking up the brother-to-brother conversation, and before he could go and chew off Matthew's ear some more, Alfred somehow convinced him to leave for the Vargas house with him. Matthew was just settling into a relieved mode when Alfred winked at him. Some sort of trade off, for helping him, he was getting an extremely pissed off Brit out of his hands.

It wasn't very fair, as he hadn't said anything actually useful, but this was a battle Matthew allowed himself to win.

Because she was getting sick of listening to her husband write poetry about how lovely the day was, and her oldest son was still moping about something quietly, and her youngest son was no where to be found, Ledell personally answered the door herself. She was quite close to slamming it closed again in Arthur and Alfred's faces.

"What do you gentlemen want?" she asked in a very polite albeit finished tone.

"We wanna talk to your oldest son," Alfred said bluntly, before Arthur could get any greetings out. "We've waited long enough and we've got no leads and his testimony against these kidnappers you want so dearly to be brought to justice would bring us closer to our common goal."

Ledell opened her mouth to reprimand them and tell them to leave when it struck her; she did indeed hire them and had forgotten about them – and the fact that Lovino was finally opening up but not admitting to her who had stolen him years ago…well, perhaps she had nothing to lose. "Very well," she said briskly. "But his is not allowed to be put out as bait for the sharks."

"No way, broad!" Alfred grinned as he let himself in, breezing past her as he led himself into the foyer. Arthur politely nodded at her and followed him in. "So, where is this charming son of yours who we have not yet actually seen?"

"He's in the back, with my useless husband. I'll show you there."

Quickly regaining control, she led the two throughout the house in the shortest way to the veranda. This included a stop in the kitchen, which first she noticed the smell of cooling manicotti, then to her found youngest son, who had quickly jumped away from hired bodyguard Ludwig in a very suspicious manner. "Oh! Mom! I totally forgot! Oh, we have guests? Hi!"

Alfred waved cheerfully. Ledell glared at him, then back at Ludwig. "I hope things were kept very…professional here?"

Ludwig coughed into his hand. "Of course, ma'am." She did not ask why he was holding a package of thawing carrot bits. Instead, she walked out to the porch, where Romulus was still dictating an ode to the sun while Lovino listened listlessly.

"Romulus, shut your trap and stay that way. Lovino, I want you to come with me and meet these men." Lovino turned to her, showing no interest, although he stood and followed her back in the house. Feliciano tottered by, holding the manicotti and shooting a meaningful look at his brother, who glared at him briefly. Ledell pretended not to notice and arrived at a parlor overlooking the grounds.

"Sit, please," she instructed, adding the 'please' as an afterthought. "Now I'd like to introduce you. Lovino, this is Alvin Smith and this is Arthur Kirkland."

"Actually, my name's Alf…"

"I hired them to find the people who kidnapped you. It's about time you met them. You two, this Lovino Vargas, my eldest son." Ledell nodded satisfactedly, looking at both parties; Alfred and Arthur sitting across from Lovino. "I hope you'll have a pleasant talk. I will be outside if you need me. This room is not bugged, so I will not know what you have spoken about." That last bit wasn't at all comforting and Alfred shot her a look as she retreated and closed the door behind her.

"Actually, like I was saying before, I'm Alfred F. Jones and…"

"Do you feel any sort of loyalty to the people who kidnapped you? Any at all?" Arthur leapt straight into interviewer mode. "If we were to show you pictures of suspects, would you identify them?"

"No, but only because you're being such a mother."

"Yes! I told you so, Arthur!"

Arthur glared at Alfred. "You're not helping, you git. Don't you remember what we're here for?"

"We're here to talk to him, Arthur, not grill him on the case. God forbid we make him clam up on us."

"If you're here to play good-cop-bad-cop, that's not going to work. They tried on me already." Lovino gestured toward the closed door. "I've got nothing to say on the topic at all."

Arthur threw up his hands and sat back, studying Lovino, who gave him a satisfied look. Really, who was his mother kidding? She couldn't get the answers she liked out of him and she'd hired these fools to try and weasel it out of him? Well, he wasn't going to fall for it. He'd already made up his mind not to sell out those (bastardly) three.

Although, really, he wanted to rat out Antonio, because that meant that the bastard would be behind bars and would stay out of his life. He was miserable enough as it was without seeing that idiot.

He'd have to change his thought process. First, he'd have to get Antonio out of his mind. Since he'd fallen in love with that asshole, he'd have to fall for someone else. He hadn't been exposed to too many people, and the servants here were uninteresting.

He wouldn't really mind…trying this Alfred person out, though.

"Maybe you should stand in the corner, Arthur," Alfred was saying. "Let us take care of things. I don't think he feels comfortable with a grandpa listening in." He gave Arthur a look and the Brit huffed loudly before storming up and walking over to a bookshelf. Honestly. If he knew he wasn't going to be getting anything done, he wouldn't have taken this case.

"C'mere. I won't bite." Alfred patted the seat next to him and was a bit surprised when Lovino actually went and sat next to him. He was going to pretend this mood change from sulky to somewhat cheerful in this boy wasn't strange at all. "I know you're done hearing all this stupid talk about capturing guys. I know how you feel. I mean, I've got all sorts of better cases. You're a case that's supposed to be done, you know! You're back, you're safe. I'd leave it alone too. I mean, we've got children molesters to catch, you know."

"Really? How are your other cases?"

"Loads of fun!" Alfred was unabashed about his interest in other cases. Lovino looked interested too at any case. He was leaning closer and smiling. Arthur never really gave a crap about what he had to say. "Like there was this one time when this little girl had been snatched. There was this sexual offender close by her house, you know, so everyone was worried she'd been snatched by that guy. Me and Arthur went over and had a talk with him and I was sure he hadn't done it. I mean, the guy already had a clean record for a few years and he didn't have any signs that he'd taken the girl. Turns out, after a few scouts and observations, her uncle had taken her! You see, the guy never was happy with how his sister married and was trying to 'save' the girl from the father. Weird, right? I know! But we caught him, and we did it when even the cops were baffled."

"That sounds impressive. You're pretty good." Lovino put a hand on his arm. Alfred was a bit thrown off by this, but he figured friendliness wasn't going to be opposed. After all, his father and brother were nice too.

"Yeah…it's the same here, really. We just want to know who took you. We've got a few files…you could take a look and see if you could ID any of them…"

"How old are you? You hardly look older than me and you sound like you've done this for a long time…I couldn't do it, that's for goddamn sure."

"I'm twenty-four. What about you?"

"Nineteen."

"Whoa, really? You got any plans of what you want to do?"

Lovino rolled his eyes. "No. Who at my age does? We're still just drinking around, smoking it up, being wiseasses and just fucking around. Even someone like me knows that."

Alfred laughed. "You know, I think you could intern at my place. We've got a few openings, and you'd be invaluable at cracking suspects. I mean, you've got personal experience…not to exploit you or anything, but I'm just saying. You could probably help us out a lot!"

"Would I get to know you better?" Urg, he was good. Alfred looked at him.

"I…guess so. I mean, we'd be working in the same department. I wouldn't mind; you seem like a cool kid to begin with. Nothing like your creepshow of a mother. No offense or anything."

"None taken. I don't know her well enough to feel insulted." He moved closer, knocking their shoulders together. He could get used to this.

Like an unannounced hurricane, Arthur flew into the scene, grabbing Alfred by the shoulder and pulling him to his feet. "We're leaving, now." Giving Lovino a strained smile, Arthur kept his hold on Alfred as he dragged him toward the door. "My partner and I have to reorganize some things. We'll show ourselves out. It was nice meeting you."

"Bye!" Alfred called cheerfully, waving. Lovino smiled coyly back, saluting. The door wasn't even closed behind them yet when he heard Alfred protest in a half-shout, half-whisper, "What's that about, Arthur? I was getting close to talking to him!"

Antonio was finished with his shift; catching up with Charlie and Ned was fun and he'd shown them off. They would be staying a nearby hotel – they were vacationing and Charlie assured Antonio that she felt a wedding was on the horizon; it would be his, and she'd have to stay for that. He was currently watering the many shrubs outside the door (aesthetic purposes, they were big and bushy) when he heard two voices come down the street, in a heated discussion.

"…don't know what you're playing at, you bloody cow. Fraternizing like that with the victim! I don't know if I should be angry or ashamed at you."

"What are you talking about, Arthur? I wasn't doing anything like that!"

"He was flirting with you, you blind asshole! And I know you knew! But you didn't do anything. You just let it happen. Have you forgotten what we're here for? You can't just let him get to you like that!"

"Well, what're you going to do about it? If he likes me, I don't have control over that. Get over yourself. You're just jealous the Vargas kid doesn't like you."

Antonio froze up at the mention of the name 'Vargas'. Shrinking back into the shadows, he waited with baited breath as the two men walked past the door; but they had stopped, apparently still in argument.

"Are you implying that you're interested in him? We're supposed to keep this professional. Do you think you're going to be some sort of hero? Because he was kidnapped, you can just whisk yourself in there and somehow 'save' him from the trauma he faced? What is this? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

They were talking about Romano! But also…about Romano flirting with someone else? Antonio tried to get a good peek through the bushes; but he could only see sneaks of blonde hair. Who were these people? They were mentioning something about professional and victims…were they cops?

"I'm not implying anything, Arthur. You're just making up things in your head because nothing's happening that's involving you. And just for the record, if the Vargas kid is interested in me, I wouldn't mind at all; he's a much better catch than you, that's for sure."

There was a loud sound of anger (Antonio had been very learned in this area, hearing that sort of sounds from Romano for years) and a man rushed by him, walking very fast, too fast to even notice him. He caught a sight of a peacoat and thick eyebrows before he was gone – suddenly, another blonde ran past him, apparently chasing the other.

So that was his rival? A blonde idiot in glasses and a bomber jacket? Antonio wasn't sure what to think. He didn't want to believe that Romano had stooped so low, but then again, he wasn't the best of the best either. Actually, the more he was thinking about it, the more he wanted to see Romano again, but he didn't want to be turned away again.

Antonio was not aware he had started to water his own shoe until the water soaked into his socks and made an ugly squelching sound when he moved. It was like him: sad, soggy, and miserable, never mind he wasn't really soggy and two of those words meant the same thing.

Note: PLEASE SPARE ME! Time discrepancies. I KNOW. The conversation between Alfred and Mattie took place during the teatime at the Vargas house. These sort of things jump around. It's not because I was lax in making sure everything flowed right. I was never going to have Mattie sell Francis out. I love Franada too much. But yes I did just suggest America/Romano. I actually like that pairing.