Aug 11
When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I'll have no ego to injure.
Aaron McGruder, Boondocks, 07-04-04
Ducky sighed as he examined Private Meisner. Oh, what a woeful tale.
"Did your wife know you were cheating on her?" he asked his guest. "It's okay if you wish to tell me; it's only us here. Mr. Palmer disappeared to Legal over an hour ago and I have no idea what's taking him so long. He only had to deliver a file to Agent Lee. But why don't you tell me some of your secrets, eh?"
He reached for his scalpel.
"Perhaps your wife truly didn't know, but I don't see anything about you that would be so attractive to your three girlfriends. Maybe it was for your mental intellect rather than your body. I suspect your wife tried to put you on a diet, or at least harassed you about it. It's such a shame that society can dictate whether you are beautiful or not based on something as silly as weight."
He prodded a mole suspiciously, before deciding it was probably benign, but making a mental note to check to see whether he had seen his doctor.
"Perhaps there was something that irresistibly drew the ladies to you, like our Anthony upstairs. It's a pity I couldn't ask you these questions while you were alive; I'm sure you were a fascinating man."
He began to make the Y-incision, chatting away all the time. There was nothing like a guest to make him content.