Chapter 11: Army Games

The morning before the next challenge started with Geoff and DJ relaxing outside the Bass cabin. Harold came out holding an oversized smore. "Okay", he said, "who made smores out of my underwear?" They just chuckled. Harold pulled a pair of briefs out of the smore and tossed them to the ground, right as Courtney walked up. She shrieked. "Harold, you are so totally gross!" "No, wait! It wasn't me! Idiots!" He went back in the cabin and slammed the door. "Sometimes he just makes it too easy", Geoff said. Then, Chef turned on the intercom. "Listen up, you little cockroaches! I want all campers to report to the dock of shame at o' nine hundred hours. That means now, soldiers, NOW!" Everyone ran to the dock and found Chef dressed in military attire.

He pulled out a megaphone. "Everyone stand at attention. You call this proper formation? Feet together! Arms down! Eyes forward! Heads up!" He hit the campers several times with a stick. Gwen whispered to Trent "Oh, this is gonna be a fun day." Chef pointed the megaphone at her face. "What did you say to me, soldier!" "Um... nothing?" "And you will continue to say nothing until I tell you that you can say something! Today's challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, I do not expect everyone to come out alive." Cody laughed until Chef whacked him with the stick. "My orders are to make sure that all of the babies in front of me drop out of boot camp except one. The last one wins immunity for their team." "What happened to Chris?", Heather asked. Chef ignored her. "Rule number one: you will address me as master chief. Have you got that?" "Yes, master chief", the campers replied. "You will sleep when I tell you to sleep, and you will eat only when I tell you to eat. Is that clear?" "Yes, master chief!" "Rule number two: when you are ready to give up, you will walk to the end of the dock and ring the bell installed there, which brings me to rule number three: no one will get dinner til the end of the first day, and the day will not end until someone drops out. Now get your butts down to the beach, soldiers, now, now, NOW!"

Confession Cam: Gwen
"Okay, whoever's sick, twisted idea it was to put him in charge of this challenge, I have to say... I'm a little bit impressed!"

Chef walked to the beach once the campers arrived. "Listen up!", he yelled. "Each team must hold a canoe over their heads. I catch you taking your hands off the canoe, and you will be eliminated. And no one eats lunch until someone drops out. Canoes up!" The teams picked up their canoes, and everything went fine for the first three hours, then Chef began yelling at them. "Looks like they miss lunch today", Chris told him. "Mhm. Guess they just weren't hungry! Unless someone wants to quit now..." Cody started whimpering. "Don't even think about it, Cody!", Gwen said. Then, Geoff snuck and pulled out a fishing pole. He snagged Harold's underwear with the hook, then reeled back until they snapped. "Ow! Idiots!", he yelled. Chef stuck his head down from atop the canoe. "Is there a problem down here!" Harold shook his head. It was another six hours before someone dropped. "Guys? I can't do this anymore", Lindsay said. She let go of the canoe and walked over to the bell. "I have no more feeling in my arms..." So she hit the bell with her head. "Looks like we got ourselves a quitter!", Chef said. He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Listen here. You have nothing to be ashamed of." he pulled out his megaphone. "Except for being a little baby who let your team down! As for the rest of you, head to the mess hall. Dinner is served."

When they arrived, Chef pulled out some trash cans for them. "Alright, maggots, open your ears. You've got ten minutes to eat before night training begins, so get to it!" The campers all groaned in agony. "Um, excuse me master chief", Gwen said, "where's the food?" "You're looking at it." Cody walked over to a can and pulled the lid off, then peered inside. "This is the leftover garbage from this morning's breakfast..." "Darn right! When you're at war, you take what you can get." Chef left and the campers began going through the trash, but Heather tossed her tray away. "Oh, I am not doing this!" "Me neither!", Courtney said, dropping her tray. "I'm going to be running for office one day, and no one is going to pull up a file of me eating garbage!" Meanwhile, Geoff walked over to Harold with a glass in his hand. "Hey, Harold? I felt real bad about the whole underwear fishing incident thing, so here. I found you some orange juice." Harold took the glass and took a sip, then spewed it out. "That's not juice!" "Oh, my mistake, dude", Geoff said while trying not to laugh. "I must have confused it with the kitchen grease!" "You are so immature", Courtney said. "You're even worse than Duncan!" Geoff looked confused. "What makes you think that?" "Oh, never mind. Enjoy your garbage."

Night training began with everyone dancing in unison, copying Chef. Suddenly, Gwen stopped and raised her hand. "What's wrong, maggot!" "Um, can I go to the bathroom?" Chef smiled. "Of course! The showers need a good scrubbing anyway!" "Not exactly what I had in mind..." Meanwhile, Chef led the others to the mess hall again. "For your next challenge, you will complete a three hundred word essay about how much you love... me. Anyone who falls asleep or fails to complete the challenge will be eliminated!" An hour later, he took the essays from everyone. Harold wasn't done writing yet, while Trent and DJ had fallen asleep. "You three slackers are out. The rest of you, go to bed and report to the playing field at o' five hundred hours."

At five AM the next morning, Chef was waiting for the campers in front of an obstacle course. "You will all run this course until you can ALL complete it in under one minute. Am I making myself clear?" "Crystal", Geoff said. "Go, maggots, go!" About halfway through, Cody fell face-down into the mud. "Uh, general crazy", Gwen said, "we've got a situation here." "Too... much... mud!", Cody said, while choking up the substance. "Ring the bell and report to the infirmary", Chef said. "Back on the court, soldiers, now!", he told the others. "One false move and I'll be on you like stink on a poop wagon." It took a few more tries before everyone could finish the obstacle course.

That evening, shortly after everyone went to sleep, Chef turned on the intercom. "Attention remaining boot camp recruits. The next evolution of your training begins tomorrow morning at o' seven hundred hours." The next morning, the six remaining campers were ordered to climb into a tree and hang upside down. "What you are experiencing", Chef told them, "is an ancient form of torture. By now, the blood has begun rushing to your heads. The next stage is nausea, followed by dizziness and a blushed appearance as the blood begins to pool under your eyes. You may experience fainting spells." Sadie fell out of the tree, leaving Courtney and Geoff against Gwen, Heather and Katie, who quickly jumped down. "Sadie, are you alright?" She helped her friend up, and Sadie nodded. "Okay, that's it, I'm done too", Heather said. She jumped down, leaving Gwen alone against the Killer Bass, but Courtney fell down shortly afterward. "I expected more out of you, soldier", Chef said. Courtney sighed. "I'm sorry. Okay, Geoff, it's all up to you!" "You got this, Gwen?", Heather asked. "Oh yeah, I could hang here all day." "Rock on, sister! I live for the head rush! It feels... so... good..." Geoff lost his grip and fell off. Gwen smiled and climbed down, and her team carried her back to the cabins, cheering. Chef followed them. "Gwen! Congratulations, soldier", he said while saluting. "I'd go to war with you anytime." "I'll keep that in mind when choosing my career", Gwen replied. "You do that, soldier. You do that."

Confession Cam: Harold
Harold pulled out some pliers and a screw driver and forced the ballot box open, then pulled the ballots out and replaced them with ones he had hidden in his shirt. "You guys think you're sooo funny. Let's see how you like it when you lose your chance at a million dollars."

That evening, at the campfire ceremony, Chris didn't have a plate of marshmallows as usual. "Okay", he said. "I'm skipping the usual ceremony tonight. One camper will now be eliminated, and that camper is Harold." Everyone turned toward him. "What? Why?", he asked. Chris glared at him. "The confession cam recorded you breaking the rules. You broke the voting box open and switched the ballots so Geoff would leave. Breaking the voting rules earns you a one way ticket off the island, bro." Harold sighed. "Gosh. This stinks... oh well. It was nice while it lasted." He slowly walked over to the dock of shame, while Geoff watched him nervously. Courtney shook her head.

Confession Cam: Courtney
"What happened with Harold is part of why I try to always follow the rules. Yes, breaking the rules is tempting, and it's nice to get what you want. But if you get caught, you're only hurting yourself. Besides, what kind of politician would I be if I went around breaking the law? ...Don't answer that."

"Well that's all for tonight", Chris said. "See you tomorrow for the next challenge."