Yola Mina! i know I'm very late but this is the first chapter I have uploaded for the year so...

Happy New Year!

Chapter 11

Subversion

The next couple of days were uneventful; it was as if that night had never happened. Sasuke treated me like he always did and I tried my best to do the same. To everyone, we seemed to be our normal selves but the true was that we did change, just not physically, not in a way people could easily see it.

'How am I suppose to deal with it?'

Now that I knew of Sasuke's feelings, it was pretty hard for me to not think about him. Every so often, my eyes would land on the boy seated next to me and every so often Sasuke would catch me looking at him. But it was hard for me not to look at him, I saw him in a different light now. He's no longer the same in my eyes.

'He's different somehow or is it that I'm different now?'

"Are you okay Pinky?" the said boy of my thoughts asked me.

I couldn't look at him at that moment as I answered, "Yeah, I'm okay."

I could feel his eyes lingering on me a little longer, as if he doubted my words and wanting to say something about it but instead he said nothing and returned back to writing in his notebook.

I let out a sigh of relief as the bell rang signaling that it was lunch time, that is was time for me to get my thoughts together. I proceeded to gather my books and pencil case to leave as fast as possible but I wasn't fast enough.

"Sakura, we need to talk." Sasuke said to me as soon as I reached by the doorway that separated the classroom from the hallway.

"About what?" I questioned, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was he wanted to talk about.

He gave me a look that I understood at once. "You know."

"Oh." was all I could say.

After I dumped my stuff into my locker, I walked to the designated meeting location, which also happened to be my favorite place on the school compound, the roof.

The wind whipped my hair, blowing it in every direction as I walked toward Sasuke. Sasuke stood by the railing, back facing me, looking down at our school mates who appeared to move like ants to him. The closer I walked to him the more I wanted to run away.

Memories of the last time we were up here by ourselves flooded my mind. If I didn't know any better I would have dropped to the floor and think I was drowning or I would have wailed my arms in the air, trying to swim to the surface. Before I knew it, I had bumped into Sasuke's back. The time to talk had come.

The front of my body that had touched Sasuke was on fire.

I backed away from him, creating distance between us and Sasuke turned around to face me. We were both silent, unsure of what to say, waiting for the next one to say something, staring into each other's eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak first, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"You've been acting weird."

"No, I haven't" I lied knowing very damn well I was.

"Sakura, I know you better than you know yourself." Sasuke stated, "You've been acting weird. Ever since I told you…how I feel ,you've returned to your former self. You just exist. You don't talk to anyone much, you move away from people who care about you, you don't even eat lunch with us, your friends, me." He eyes saddened. "I shouldn't have said anything."

I told a step forward, unable to say anything because I didn't know what to say.

Sasuke took a step back" Maybe Itachi should drop and pick you up from school for a while and I could switch seat with Ino or something, it's not like the teachers will care…" Sasuke trailed on.

'He doesn't want to be near me anymore.'

For once the roles were in reverse. I, the person who once wanted to have nothing to do with people after Naruto's death because I didn't want to face losing anyone again, was trying to get close to someone.

'I'm a hypocrite.'

"Sasuke I haven't been acting weird because of what you said to me," I lied again "it's because of…something else."

"And what is that?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

The lies were just rolling off of my tongue, one after the other. "I can't tell you." I said as I casted my eyes to the ground and away from his eyes.

" Don't lie to me Sakura. I hate it when you do. I know it's because of me."

"It's not!" I exclaimed trying to convince him as much as I was trying to convince myself.

"Prove it, go out with me."

My heart skipped a beat.

'Sasuke just asked me out.'

I was speechless. My heart sped up the more I thought about myself dating Sasuke. The answer to what he just said was on my lips, ready be spoken but at the last minute I saw Naruto's face flash before me and I gripped my necklace.

"No, I can't." I breathed softly.

Sasuke knew exactly why I said no but chose not to give up " than spend the day with me ."

Though I knew I should have said no, instead I chose to say the opposite, just to prove a point to not only Sasuke but also to myself. The one I love is Naruto.

The day was sunny and yet the wind blew a cold breeze. It was Saturday, the day after yesterday, the day that I was to spend with Sasuke. I stood in front of my full length mirror, examining myself for the fifteenth time, checking for any imperfections. The last thing I needed was for Sasuke to make fun of what I was wearing because of some mysterious stain.

'Who cares what that chicken butt thinks!'

My reflection in the mirror seem to prove otherwise.

Ding Dong!

"Sakura," my mother called from down stairs, "Sasuke's here!"

"Coming!" I yelled, glancing at myself in the mirror for the last time before leaving my room, which was now a pig sty.

I jogged down the stairs, feet touching the steps lightly, slowing down when I knew I had came into people's sight to make it appear as if I was walking all along. Sasuke was still at the doorway, having a chat with my mother and I knew if my father was wake, he would be doing the same thing. My parents adored Sasuke as much as Sasuke's family adored me.

A couple of months ago, I would have told my parents as I did so many times, that there was nothing to like, much less to adore about that good for nothing but now that I have gotten to see a new side of Sasuke and have gotten to spend more time with him, I can't say that anymore. He's the most reliable person in my live.

'Who would have thought I would see what my parents did.'

"Do you have everything you need Sakura?" My mother asked before I walked out the door.

"Yep." I answered shaking my head.

"You might want to bring a jacket Pinky." Said the spiky raven haired boy who himself was wearing a jacket.

" Like I'll need one. It's so bright outside!" I exclaimed gesturing to the sun as I walked out of the front door.

"Are you sure because I don't want that later on in the day you're all like" He cleared his throat, "I'm freezing chicken butt so give me your jacket!" he said in a high hitch voice, trying to mock me but failing terribly.

Sitting outside of my house was not my recently usual ride to school but one I hadn't seen in weeks, Sasuke's motorcycle. I could sense that today Sasuke want to get a lot closer to me then he has wanted to be in weeks as if he wanted to erase the barrier he create to stop his feelings from showing. And it looked like he wanted to remove the wall that I built to stop myself from caring for anyone the way I cared for Naruto.

The ride to where ever we were going was silent, if you could call the wind blowing so hard that we couldn't speak silent. Part of me thought that maybe Sasuke planned it to be this way, so that there wouldn't be any awkwardness between us. So that I could have an excuse to holds on to him and invade his personal space without it having to mean anything.

I could feel Naruto pendent pressing against my chest, as if it was poking me to remind me that it was still there, that my love for Naruto was still there. I held on to Sasuke harder, pulling him closer to me and pushing the pendent deeper into my skin. I closed I eyes as he rode faster.

'This means nothing.'

Whenever I come to the amusement park, I always remember when Naruto entered that all you could eat completion and lost horribly and today was no different ever though I was with Sasuke this time and not Naruto. The place was exactly the way I remembered it. The merry go round still had that white horse that was half way painted black and the sign towering over the entrance was just as washed out and worn as it was last year and the year before that and the year before that.

"Why are we here?" I asked suddenly feeling uncomfortable being here.

"It's to have fun Pinky." Sasuke answered with a smile.

Having fun wasn't something I hadn't really done in a long time, it felt like I haven't had fun in eons. Sure I laughed and smile with Sasuke, Ino, Jugo and the rest but I wasn't really having fun.

'It was to cover up the pain I was feeling.'

The day wore on as we played games and went on rides. I've never felt more alive than I did now spending time with Sasuke. I felt much better than I had in months!

"Hurry up Sasuke! I want you to win that stuff animal I saw earlier!" I yelled as I ran to the stall.

My blood went cold when I saw who was sitting behind the booth. As usually at first I thought it was Naruto but he was dead, so it could have only been one other person, Hisashi.

" A dollar a try. You get three chances to throw the rings and have them all land over the bottles." he said in a bored tone, not even bothering to look up from the whatever he was reading.

My mouth went dry as I stared at the boy sitting before me. I couldn't even answer Sasuke's call of where I was, all I could do was stare at Hisashi, trying to figure out why he was here, why couldn't I say anything.

'Why my heart's thumping so fast?'

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked with so much venom that I was sure I hear him hiss at Hisashi.

"I work here." He answered back just as hotly, "Are you going to pay or not?"

Sasuke slammed the dollar on the table. "Why not..it's gonna be an easy win anyway."

Sasuke stood at the booth for what seemed to be a few minutes before he won me the bear I wanted when in reality it was only a few seconds. But to me it really did feel like I was standing there for a longer time and maybe it was because of the person who handed me the prize Sasuke won for me. I didn't even make eye contact with Hisashi in fear of what it would do to me.

At this point I was happy that we went on the ferris wheel before we came to this booth.

'Or else things would have gotten awkward real quick.'

But it looked like I spoke too soon.

I could hear birds above me and the waves crashing against the shore. We were at the beach. After the in counter with Hisashi, I thought that Sasuke was going to take me straight home but instead we ended up here.

Sasuke kick the peg on his bike down and got off before I could say anything. I followed him as he walked to the sandy shore. Part of me wished that I had wore slippers or sandals instead of these stupid heels, that stuck into the sand with every step I took. It was like I was walking in quick sand without sinking in lower as I moved. When I finally reached by Sasuke, he was sitting down with a small notepad in his hands, a small rectangular tin of colored pencils as his side, drawing something I couldn't see.

'What ever it is, it has green on it.'

"This was actually the first place that I wanted to carry you." Sasuke stated as his hand glided over different places on the paper.

He continued to sketch.

The sun was close to setting.

"So why didn't you carry me here first?" I wanted to know as I looked at the setting sun.

"Because I didn't want to tell you what's been on my mind so early in the morning so I thought it would be better to tell later or not to tell you at all." He didn't look up at me once as he said that.

"And what is that?" I whispered.

He put down the notepad and looked me in the eyes, the last rays of sunlight reflecting off of his eyes. " You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and every time I see you smile, it brings butterflies to my stomach and warms me inside. Ever since last year, the spark in your eyes have vanished and I wonder where's the girl I fell in love with go."

I was speechless.

"You stopped wearing those clips in your hair to hold back your bangs, you don't smiling as much. You distant yourself from everyone to a point where you wouldn't talk unless spoken to. You even stopped hanging out with the gang and whenever I did see you outside of school, you were always sitting in the park, on the bench by the tree, staring into space with a wondrous look on your face."

He raised his hand to my cheek, "I miss you Sakura, the old you. The one that had a twinkle in her eyes that remind me of diamonds." He leaned in closer, "I love you Sakura." and before I knew it, he was kissing me again.

This all was too much for me to handle.

I pushed Sasuke away from me, though part of me didn't want to, and pulled my knees to my body for my head to rest on. "I can't be that girl again Sasuke." I whispered loud enough for the wind to carry my words to him.

"Yes you can, you just have to want it to happen." Sasuke said reassuringly.

"I can't, she's dead! She could never come back to live!" I shouted gripping my arms tighter, making myself smaller. I could feel myself going deeper in to the sand as my body shook from the sobbing I tried to keep back. "His dead and so is she."

I felt something soft being put around me, to prevent me from shivering due to the cold and my crying and at once knew it was Sasuke's doing.

"Can't you see Sakura, I'm not asking you to forget him,all I'm asking is for you to let yourself be happy again, to feel again, to let people in again but it can't happen if you don't want it to." Sasuke said gently as he stoked my hair.

There was no doubt or thought of Sasuke being wrong because he was right, the thing or should I say person stopping me from being happy was not Naruto but me.

'As long as I hold on to this pain, I'll never move on and begin anew.'

We stayed as we were, I was still sitting in the fetal position and Sasuke continued to run his hand through my hair as a remind that he was still there. Silence hung in the air, it was like the crashing waves were no longer there, as if the vanished or could it have been they fell on deaf ears.

'Truly I did love you Naruto with all my heart… but maybe it was time to let someone else into my heart while it's still beating.'

I looked at Sasuke, " I love you too Sasuke."

To Be Continued…

I got a review from (that's really the persons pen name) and they had me laughing my ass off because they reminded me of myself when i read fanfics. But have no fear stranger because she did it. Review and tell me what you think about this chapter.

Until next time people.

Ja ne Mina!