Thanks for still following! I've been correcting things in the previous chapters, I'll try to be more careful in future. Hope you enjoy...

"I just want to be with you." That was the last thing Ian's brain processed before it went to sleep. He was sure Mickey waited til he thought he was asleep before saying it, but those few seconds were all that Ian could think about the next time he woke up.

Mickey had apparently stayed all night alone, the firework incident had meant that Lip had to stay at home and rearrange the whole house. Ian could be thankful that none of them were joining him here in hospital. It was apparently 8am before anyone else came in, and found Mickey asleep with his head resting on Ian's bed; though he was sure the doctors had probably been in silently doing their work.

Fiona Gallagher had arrived having been unable to cope with the state of the house, they'd need a new TV and probably sofa... Money. Somehow that kept her mind off the state that her brother was still in. She told Mickey to go home, thanked him for taking the night shift alone. He didn't say anything as he silently walked back home to his wife.

As he heard Fiona thank Mickey, walk across and close the door Ian woke up. She was stunned, no one had told her. Who knew? Did Mickey just not want to say anything? No, he was clearly still asleep! Was she the first? She could do nothing but smile and cry and the same time. She was happy, but the strain, stress and pain of the last few weeks had been evident.

"Welcome home." Fiona said, walking back over to her brother, uncertain of whether he'd know who she was, uncertain whether he'd speak.

"I'm sorry." Ian said, "I should have spoken to someone, anyone. I didn't." Ian wanted to give her answers before the intimate questions came.

"Let's just work on getting you better kiddo." Fiona knew it would take a while, he may not even remember what had actually happened.

She knew that Mickey did, but that would have to wait. She was going to get her little brother back. Always too weak to fight Lip, always too big to get away with trying to fight with Debbie. He was always the quiet one, never asked, just listened. Maybe that was why he was so suited to a job in the Army.

"I'm not going to ask you anything, neither will anyone else. I'll make sure of that, but if you ever do want to talk - don't throw your phone away!" She allowed herself to laugh, and walked over to hug her little brother. He didn't seem to be able to reciprocate the action and as she saw him wincing in pain, she simply sat down.

"I was off to join the army." Ian paused to see what reaction she would give, nothing. "I was off to join the army because I needed to get away. I needed to get away because I didn't feel like myself anymore - because I couldn't love myself anymore."

They looked at each other's eyes, Ian's drifted away first, drifted down to his hands which he seemed to be able to gently and slowly move. He didn't want to tell her this, because he was sure that she would blame herself for it. It had nothing to do with her, it was all about him.

"It wasn't your fault, it wasn't Lip, Mandy, Debbie... It was all me. I couldn't talk because I couldn't listen. Even if you'd promised me the world, I would still have tried to go."

Finally Fiona spoke up, "Would you have gone without saying goodbye?"

"Yes, I was packed and ready to leave." Ian felt more guilty word by word; he knew Fi wouldn't ask, that didn't mean her body wasn't asking. "I'd been seeing someone for a while." He subconsciously looked towards the door, without realising that Fiona noticed.

"I know that you've been seeing that Milkovich kid. He brought you in, he's been here every night, he fell asleep with your hand in his." Fiona explained, how long had she known, did Mickey know this?

"I'm sorry that I never told you, but it's been complicated."

"Try me." There was a long silence, clearly Ian had to work out what he could or couldn't say.

"It's been going on for over a year. We love each other, we got caught by Terry fucking Milkovich who forced Mickey to get married to the woman who raped him. He got married, he didn't want me. I didn't want me." Ian was being strong, although he was speaking quietly.

As he was explaining every detail that he could tell, he was slowly trying to move every muscle in his body. He knew he could move his hands, his face, but he was in too much pain to move his legs. He could move his fingers, his toes, he was going to be ok. Before he knew it, the nurse had come in - tests, explanations, pillows. He could at last sit up, he could drink, he could eat. He couldn't get out of bed without screaming the hospital down, his ribs hurt, he looked like a zombie.

Fiona had made some happy calls, he would make a full recovery, he was going to be fine. The one thing she made sure to mention was that no one was to ask him any questions. She knew what an effort he had made to tell her half of what he did and more. Not all of it was true, she knew that, he knew that... But she knew there were always going to be little details that never needed to be known, as well as ones, which she was sure she would work on.

.

A week later Ian was taken home. Rest, that was the worst part, because for that week he didn't have Mickey looking out for him. Mickey couldn't bring himself to enter his house, perhaps because he thought that them being seen together would lead to correct rumours. He didn't get to hear the details of work, what Terry had made of the whole thing. Of course he noticed his former gay son had been away during the nights, but he made sure he was still screwing his wife. Svetlana had to keep details.

He didn't get to chit-chat about films, music, deals going on... They couldn't touch each other, Post traumatic Stress Disorder. Ian wanted to talk about what had happened, but the silent promise that Mickey had made had gotten him here. He had been replaying that night over and over. What a prick Ian had been, he'd known that Mickey wanted him, he needed him to say it, and when he couldn't he took the childish way around it. Pushing Mickeys buttons.