SE: A Tainted Soul, A Pure Promise
Chapter 11: Just From One Date
…it made me feel faint. I was woozy and it was getting hard to stand.
"So does this mean…?"
Maka sweetly smiled at me. "Mhhm."
The sun chuckled away high in the blue Nevada sky; it was neither too hot nor cold so we decided to take a stroll rather than the cruiser to Deathbucks. With my right fist in my jacket pocket and one wrapped together with my date's, I felt like my whole life was finally falling perfectly into place. Loosening up, I breathed in the warm air then squeezed Maka's hand just a bit which broke her concentration on the steps ahead of her.
"You're happy. Tell me...why is that?" Her olive orbs shined into the crimson of my own.
"It's nothing really. Just...everything is...better than before." Trying to contain a smile with the happiness bubbling inside of my chest was impossible, so I let the gesture of joy free to roam across my mouth.
As we neared the cafe, we saw Ox begging at Kim's feet a couple stores away from our destination. She obviously rejected him and he hung his head in defeat, causing his bald head to glint in the sunlight; but he soon gave a thumbs up and a yell, which held words that I couldn't quite make out, then walked away as if the rejection didn't faze his love for her. That's dedication...I commented to myself.
I held the door open for Maka and she bounced into the coffee shop. After doing so, she reached her hand inside of an apparent dress-pocket which I hadn't noticed until now and pulled out some cash. "This date's on me, remember?" Her sweet giggle and tilt of the head made my heart flutter. God, did I feel like such a pansy thinking that...
"Alright, well I'll just make sure that I get the most expensive thing, huh?" I joked at her and she pinched my nose closed. We went up to the cashier; I ordered a regular medium coffee and Maka got a coffee of the same size with a touch of caramel mocha then paid. As we waited for the employees to prepare our beverages, my partner and I stationed ourselves to the side of the counter.
"So, since I'm out of the dispensary, we should call Kid up and tell him the party can be held...oh, I dunno, maybe this weekend?" Maka suggested. I nodded and replied, 'we'll tell him on our way home' and then told her that we should enjoy the date at the moment. Soon after, our coffees had arrived in our grasps and we found a seat. Olive Eyes then stated curiously, "alright then, now that we're seated...remember that one time I asked why you left home...?"
That sent a chill down my spine. Remembering the last thing my father had done to me before I departed, I spoke in a deep growl, "I left cuz of my father...and my brother."
"Oh...? What happened?" She seemed to show concern and interest in the subject, and though I felt reluctance to tell her creep up on me, I had to say it.
"Long story short, my father beat me if I missed one note in a piano recital and my brother was levels beyond my own, leaving everyone to compare me to him. So I left because I was tired of shit from people and my father." I blew on the coffee and took a small sip, only staring down into the steaming liquid.
Maka saw that I wasn't going to answer any further questions on why I left so she moved on. "Well...what was your mom like?" I saw a twinkle in her eye-no wait that was the reflection of the twinkle from my own...
"My mother...was beautiful. I took after her for everything-my eyes, my hair, my skin; the only thing I got from my dad was being a guy. My mom even taught me how to play the piano. She took such great care for me, she was kindhearted to anyone and anything... and she was the only one who loved me for me...well, except for my granny. She also loved me for being myself. But my mother was the closest person to me. I was close-ish to my brother...but never did I love anyone more than my mom. Everyone else just seemed against me." Maka hadn't touched her coffee so I signaled her to take a sip.
Acknowledging my gesture, she drank and murmured, "I'd like to meet her one day..." When she said that, I thought, I'd like you to meet her, too... "So, you're brother...tell me about him."
"Ahh...Wes. He's laid back like me...only, well he's way too much of a push over. Oh, and nowhere near as cool as I am." That forced a roll to Maka's eyes. "Anyway...he was the violinist of the family. I respected his talent...to a high degree actually, but I always got compared to him. People would congratulate and praise him and pass me by or just look at me and smile. I never got a word of appreciation." My partner's face softened. "No, that's not an invitation for you to be all sympathetic for me. I don't need it. I left because I hated my dad and the shadow of my brother. That's it. Don't get all sad because of my family issues." Inside of my chest, I could feel some kind of tightening. Staring into Maka's forest irises, I quickly broke her glance and shifted my focus to the beverage that was brought to my lips. I saw Maka's concentration set on my chest-my soul- when I took a peek at her from under my snow-white bangs. "Will you quit that? I'd really appreciate it if you didn't invade on my private emotions, thank you."
She snapped out of her daze and looked down at her now luke-warm coffee. "I'm sorry." Her lips molded around the cup's lip and tilted the beverage back to swallow.
Desperate to make her lighten up, I moved the family business on her. "It's fine...anyway, tell me about your family. I already know your dad...so what's your mom like?"
After I said that, she was gone. Her eyes shined in admiration and she began, "my mother is amazing. She's gorgeous, strong, brave, intelligent, and sweet as can be; but she's also fierce. You don't ever wanna be around her when she's mad."
I smiled. "Are you sure you're not describing yourself?"
With a slight rosy tint to her cheeks and a slightly embarrassed giggle, she pointed out, "well, I took after her with pretty much everything...kinda like you with your mom. Her eyes are like large olives and she has long, silky sandy blonde hair. Her skin is fair and has a peachy cream color. You know, she was the top of her class when she went to Shibusen. Last month when we took that super test-remember the one that Blackstar tried to get the answers from Stein for? Yea, I wanted to be at the top, too. And so I did."
Figured as much. I mean, like mother, like daughter, right? It wasn't much of a surprise either that her mother had been a scholar at Shibusen.
A determined feisty expression crossed my date's face. "I'm so glad I didn't get that blood-red hair or blue eyes from Papa." Maka gulped down the rest of her drink.
What she said amused me. "So you really hate your dad, don't you?"
"Well, for the most part. He's nothing by a cheating, lying pervert with no life. When they got divorced, that was the best thing that ever happened. And that's the reason I admire my mama so much. She was so cool and collected when it all happened; my Papa on the other hand, was a complete wreck always blubbering out that he loves me and Mama. He's pathetic." Her empty cup sat on the shop's table in front of her. More slowly this time, she mumbled, "My damn Papa is the reason I can't trust men...none of them."
That made my heart sink. She didn't trust me? But the way she acted towards me...how was that not trust?
"But," Maka tagged on.
But?
"You...You're the very first man I put all my faith into..." My jaw slightly dropped and she got up to throw away both our empty cups. When she came back, I had some drool hanging off my lip which she wiped away with her thumb.
"Really...?"
"Of course, silly! Why wouldn't I?" She closed her eyes and grinned at me; with a quick wink, she said, "now close your mouth, you'll catch flies." Maka then closed my gaping jaw and pinched my cheek- just like mom used to do. We stood and walked to the door, which I opened for her like a gentleman would. The way her olive eyes seemed to glow, it appeared as though she like the polite gestures, but hell, how would I be sure? My lover's intuition is terrible- for all I know, she could be thinking I'm being a total creep. "I think I should tell Kid to plan some partying, don'tcha think?" I nodded to Maka's suggestion and she pulled out her cell phone from within her shirt-possibly from her undergarments...That brought an impulsive rude remark to mind; I didn't even know she had to wear a bra...
After the telephone conversation was over, I offered to go home the long way; taking a stroll through the park. She was more than happy to accept the endeavor with an interlock of our fingers. I flat out stated what went through my mind just then; "you know, you may be a total tomboy badass most of the time, but you're such a girl when it comes to these things."
Her eyes narrowed. "Eh? What do you mean by that?"
"Well, look at you. You can kick ass, you're violent, you know how to play rough, but then when it comes to all this fluffy dating stuff, you get all...well, girly."
Maka then squinted her eyes further and stuck her finger in my mouth to pull on my cheek. "I'm not following." Her lips were pursed and suspicion was spread about her face like a plague.
I breathed in deep and let out a huge sigh. "Do you mind tak-hing your p-hinger ow oh my mouhh hirst?" She removed her hold on my inner cheek and I spoke clearly. "You kiss me on the cheek and hold my hand and hug me and everything. What's up with that anyway?"
"Idiot..." She automatically pulled out her book of 'oblivion' and slammed it down on my head as hard as she could; the Maka Chop wasn't as bad as a regular one since she couldn't exert herself due to her injury, but it was still pretty painful. "You're so blind. But it's whatever."
"What the hell do you mean by that? And why the book? Really, was the book necessary?" I rubbed my skull with my right hand; Maka took my left and we continued to walk down the dirt path that passed between a thin layer of tree walls.
"The book was most certainly necessary. You're so oblivious to everything, you know that?"
I scratched the back of my head then stuffed my fist into my jacket pocket. The rest of the stroll was calm and silent between us. It gave us both time to think; it was a good thing though, considering the amount of thinking I regularly do. Just a couple of blocks away from our complex, there was an inconspicuous thrift store we came across. Maka, being a girl, decided she wanted to check it out- I followed, obviously not being able to talk her out of it. "Don't take forever." For the most part, my voice was just a buzz in her ear she swatted away since she was so engrossed in the knick-knacks, trinkets, clothing, and other various merchandise. "Man, this is so uncool." I slumped against a wall of the store and let her do her thing.
After space-out time I'd had since she was so busy, there was an alert sent to my ears. "Soul! Come here, look!" Maka called out to me. The thought that raced through my head was, she's probably just gonna show me a little keychain she thinks is "cute"...Jeez, girls- what can ya do...
"Where are you?" I walked by the clerk's counter; he gave me a smug look as if to say, got yourself a girlfriend, eh? That expression just made me wanna knock some teeth outta his jaw so I turned away before I could. As I zeroed in on a rack of dresses, Maka stood with violet-purple attire held up in front of her; the bottom of the dress had some lavender frills and was spaghetti strapped. It was casual, yet dressy, and I liked it. When I examined her closer, she was grinning in a satisfied fashion and inspecting her appearance in a mirror which was mounted on a pillar before her. I wonder how it would look on Maka...
"Soul, you think I should get this for the party?"
"It's up to you."
Maka wore her best pout and sang her highest quality beg, "oh, come on. Give me your opinion, please?"
"Ngh." I groaned. "I think it looks good. Got any shoes to go with it?"
Her index went to her chin in thought. "Uhm...I have some burgundy flats back at the apartment that are pretty close to the color of this dress."
"Nahh, that won't do. Come with me." I took her free hand and brought her to where the shop had a scarce number of pairs of shoes. Scanning the footwear in her size, I pinpointed white dress slip-on sandals with bow-ties on the top strap; they also had slightly elevated heels. I handed her the slippers. "Here. This would go better."
She looked at the gown and back at the shoes. "Soul, where did you learn to pair dress-cloths so well?"
I looked at her like it was something incredibly conspicuous. My stare caused her to become flushed with embarrassment. "I was a rich kid in a family of musicians who had to impress a crowd of aristocrats twenty-four seven. Why wouldn't I know?"
"Oh. Duh. Man, that was pretty obvious, huh?" Maka nervously giggled. "So, I think I should go buy these now." She pranced over to the cashier and got her merchandise checked out.
"That'll be $15.50, ma'am." Maka handed him a twenty dollar bill and received her change. "Thank you. Have a nice day."
"Thank you, you too!" She politely bid the clerk ado and bounced over to me. The girl laced her fingers with mine with her one hand that wasn't clenching onto the plastic bag with a smiley face on it. "Did it take too long?"
I checked my phone. We were here since 4 o'clock- it was now 6 and I didn't even realize it myself. We exited the shop and heard a jingle from the bell atop the door. "Well, we were in there for a solid two hours. Longer than I expected..."
"Oh, oops. Sorry about that, Soul." A sigh escaped her lips. "Well, let's go home now. I gotta start dinner anyway." With a nod, we trudged on to get to the complex. I then felt her slightly shiver.
"What is this? Some kinda cliche movie? Don't tell me you're cold." I said. Truth is, for a day in late spring to be chilly like this was kinda unusual.
Her eyes narrowed at me. "I didn't tell you to give me your jacket or anything. I shivered. Got a problem with that?" She immediately turned her head away with a 'hmph' sound and sent a couple of locks of her hair flying into my face. Completely out of the blue, her steps suddenly became slightly unaligned, then they went drunkly disoriented.
"Maka? What's wrong with you? Hey! Are you okay?" I released her clammy palms and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.
Her eyes half-open, she shoved me away, "I-I'm fine...I just got dizzy there, that's all..." We stopped walking and she regained her balance. As Maka rubbed her temples, I threw my jacket over her back and around her shoulders. "Put your...jacket back on. I don't need it..." In that instant, her knees buckled and she collapsed right into my embrace. Maka's hand fell over her left side- her gunshot wound. Her face crinkled in agony then went soft, and her consciousness slipped away.
"MAKA!" I gave her a small shake, but she didn't respond. Her breathing became calm and rhythmic; I sighed and took her on my back the way I did went she was first shot. "Dammit..." My heart filled with concern and fear. I dragged my feet back to the complex and climbed the flights of stairs to get to our cubicle. When I unlocked the door, I carefully lay Maka on the couch before going back to shut the entrance. After doing so, I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. Speaking with a soft tone, I caressed my partner's cheek, "Oi...Maka? Wake up..."
She grumbled and rubbed her eyes. While trying to prop herself on her elbow, she winced as the sharp pain of her wound ripped at her. "Ow, ow, ow..." I set her in an upright position and she thanked me. "Damn. What happened to me?"
"Well for one thing, you fainted into my arms. Not cool, Maka..." I meant to just mumble this last part to myself: "you scared the crap outta me..." Turns out I admitted that just a little too loudly.
"I didn't mean to make you worry...I'm sorry." She had one eye closed and held her thumb to her bottom lip. Dammit all! She's too cute...
"It's fine. Here." I moved her hand away from her mouth and replaced it with the glass of water. Swaddling her chin in my palm, I tilted the cup back for her to drink. She blushed. "What?" Bringing the beverage back to a standstill, I stared into her dazed, olive eyes.
"This is embarrassing..." Maka complained.
"Quite your whining." I set the glass on the coffee table next to the sofa. "Take the dress off."
"WHAT?"
I sighed. "I gotta check your bandages. You look like the gunshot wound is really bothering you."
"No, I'm okay, really! See?" She rushed to stand but fell back onto the cushions sighing in agony.
I gave her a blunt glare. "Your body sure says you're not. You fainted in the middle of a walk and you're telling me you're fine? Don't be a hard-head and just show me the damn wound."
With an exterminated and flushed side glance, she raised the dress over her head and revealed the spandex shorts and cami underneath. She then raised the tank top to reveal her midriff. I began to unwrap the bandages and after only removing the first layer, blood was seeping through. I stopped in my tracks and dashed for her medical supplies. When I came back, she had her head hanging back on the couch and was slouched somewhat sideways. I rushed to take the soiled wrap off of her and clean the injury. After I finished with that, I went on with the routine of rubbing the antibiotic and winding a fresh new bandage around her waist.
"What's wrong with it?" Maka was obviously not alert when she asked that.
I was really concerned for her sake. "It was bleeding a lot. I think you should try to get some rest here on the couch. I'll cook dinner." Draping her with a blanket that Blair was laying on, I turned to prepare our food. Blair, annoyed, meowed and glared at me with her golden irises to show her frustration of the rude awakening from her catnap. "Sorry, Blair."
It took about half an hour, but once I finished making our supper, I gently woke my partner up. She groaned and sat up carefully. "What'd you make?"
"Chicken noodle soup with rice. Thought you could use some." Handing her her bowl of the food, I took a seat at the end of the couch where Maka's feet were and let her legs lull on my lap. "Feel any better?"
"Mhhm." Her bowl was set on her lap and she blew on a forkful of noodles and slurped it up. "Soul...I just wanted to say...thank you."
I halted the tines of my dining utensil half-way from my soup and mouth. Slowly, I set the fork back into my bowl and stared at her. "For what?"
"For taking care of me...and for being here with me...and..." She paused and breathed in, "...and for letting me meet you."
"I can't really say I let you meet me. Ms. Marie paired us up, so it just kinda happened."
"You could've easily rejected."
"That's true." I stared into my dinner. "In that case...you don't have to thank me for anything. I'm glad I could do all of it." I took another fork of the noodles and rice and then turned the T.V. on to some show about murders.
The rest of supper was quiet except for the narrator talking about a victim's lacerations and such to their neck, chest and abdomen. When Maka and I were both finished, I brought our dishes to the sink and washed them. After that, I came back to the couch to assist Maka to her bed. I shut the television and living room lamp off and took my partner into my arms as if carrying her like a baby, or a princess. Man, this girl is making think in such an uncool way...
Without flicking the lights on in her sleeping chamber, I set her down on her mattress and tucked her into her covers. For a moment, I gazed at her as she slumbered then caused the bed to creak as I sat on the edge with my face in my palms. "Maka..." I couldn't think of anything else to say. Fingertips brushed my thigh which startled me.
"Soul, don't go..." Maka pleaded weakly. Even in the dark, I swear you'd be able to see my face redden madly. "Sleep here tonight...don't even say the you'll sleep on the floor...right here. Sleep next to me...please..."
"A-alright..." I sighed and kicked my shoes off. "Wait a sec..." I went to my room and changed into pajama pants. I didn't feel like spending the night in jeans. When I returned, I saw her forest orbs glowing from the moonlight, the only thing that illuminated the moment as she awaited me. "I'm back."
She scooted a tad over to make room for me. Man, this was so awkward...I laid down on top of the comforter. It would just feel...really weird if I was under there with her. But, to my deep discomfort, she urged me to join her beneath the sheets and I couldn't refuse.
Maka wouldn't break her gaze with me. Our eyes were taped, glued and locked together-nothing could shatter the stare.
"Why did you want me to sleep here with you tonight...?" I was curious. Was it because she was delirious? I was sure if I ever did this when she was sane, she'd Maka Chop the shit outta me. Did she really want me here?
"I don't know..." Her eyes shut and she took me into her arms. I didn't move. "I don't know anything anymore..."
"What do you mean?"
"I dunno if I like you...don't like you...think of you as a friend...I just don't know..." Her lips were grazing against my neck as she whispered.
I closed my eyes. "Maka, I really do like you...a lot..." Within seconds of saying that, my hand was holding the back of her head and threading my fingers in her sandy blonde locks.
"I think...I think I like you a lot, too..." She thinks she likes me a lot?
"Then wouldn't it make sense if we da-"
"No..." She calmly broke in. What? She likes me a lot, she's letting me sleep in her bed with her, but she doesn't want to date me? What the hell is wrong with Maka? Did I even take the right girl home?
"Why not?"
"Because I'm scared..."
I could feel warm water trickling down my neck so I pulled away to see from the light of the rock in the night sky that Maka was crying. "Of what?"
"If we end up together...what if we get torn apart like my mom and dad...? I'm scared to..." She gulped and sniffled. "...to let you take my heart..."
Maka...was scared...and so was I...
I'm afraid of letting anyone get too close to my heart...my soul...but I can't keep the girl in my arms away from it...hell, she could see right into it.
"Your soul is tainted, Soul..."
"Huh?"
"Your soul...is tainted with fear, hatred, anguish...and the feeling of being unloved...unappreciated..." So that's what I'm afraid of...her pretending to show me that she cares...when the miserable truth could be that she's just sorry for me... "but in the middle...there's a pure white...like that's the only thing that's keeping you sane...what could that be...?" I didn't want to tell her the promise I made to my mother in fear of chasing her away...
I'll see you again...when I'm married and have kids of my own...and a beautiful wife...then I'll come to see you again, just as you want.
"I don't know, Maka..." Listening and waiting for an answer, I realized her breathing lightened and fell into a relaxed rhythm-she was asleep. Well, might as well do the same... I glanced over my shoulder at her alarm clock. It was 11:11pm. I swiveled my head back over to the window behind Maka and stared at the chuckling moon.
You know how people say that you should make a wish on 11:11? Well, I didn't need to wish for anything...because the one thing that I've yearned so long for...is right here in my embrace.