Kyle Katarn: The Rise & Fall
Book 2: Fall of a Jedi
Chapter 11: Consequences
A/N: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest chapter of the Mysteries of the Sith story. We're getting close to what was the end of the game, which having played it, I find a bit unsatisfying as it left a lot of unanswered questions. I am continuing the story past that to try and make a connection between it and the beginning of Jedi Outcast. So stay tuned! And without further ado, a few shout outs.
Zedille: Thank you! It was good to hear from you. Jan not being jealous Maybe. You're definitely right about Kyle and it come back to what Yoda said about the Dark Side being more seductive.
Guest: Thank you, glad you enjoyed and hope you enjoy this chapter!
As the platform descended out of sight, Mara rose from where the energy orb had knocked her down. Moving to the edge of the opening, she stared down into blackness. There seemed no safe way to descend.
"I don't like the look of this, but there's no other way."
Taking a deep breath, she leapt into the dark space. For a moment, she plummeted in blackness. Then, with a flash of light, she was suddenly standing on her feet, unharmed, in another part of the temple.
Looking about her surroundings, she drew a breath and called out.
"Kyle, where are you?!"
When the reply came, she could hear pleasure in the voice before it turned cold.
"Mara! I knew you would make the right choice. Follow me to the heart of the temple. Feel the power embrace you as your Jedi powers fail you."
"Kyle!" she called again, but received no response.
"He's gone insane," she muttered, fearing the worst. Truly, Kyle had become deeply immersed in the Dark Side. Saving him seemed all but impossible. Even so, she still felt a glimmer of hope. For some reason, Kyle had had the opportunity to destroy her and yet he hadn't.
Could there still be some good in him?
She considered for a moment.
If there is, I have to find him, try to reason with him.
With Kyle's presence like a blazing fire in the Force, tracking him was not difficult. But it seemed as if the temple was throwing every last impediment it could her way.
More Mailocs, Vornskrs, lightsaber wielding statues and even more of the Sith zombies came across her path. One by one, Mara cut them down with her lightsaber, but the cost to her in physical and mental effort was draining her resources. Even the healing power of the Force seemed to have a limit, giving only limited relief to her aching and tired body.
Even more torturous was the near constant temptation of the Dark Side, whispering in her mind, tempting her to make use of its power, promising to wipe away all her fatigue and give her the strength to defeat Kyle or even kill him.
Watching as his soon-to-be apprentice defeated every attack he sent her way, Kyle Katarn smiled in satisfaction. He could see Mara was reaching her physical limit, a point beyond which not even the worthless Light Side could help her.
But despite every mental entreaty he was using to have her cross over, she was still resistant, refusing to give in, defiant even in the face of overwhelming forces.
Why do you continue to resist, Mara? Have you not suffered enough? Do you not see that all is needed for this to end is your obstinacy? Surrender, Mara, give in to the Dark Side and this can all be over.
Or perhaps you fail to grasp that she may the one who is right. Perhaps it is you who needs to see the truth.
Roaring in frustration, Kyle spread his fingers, sending a cascade of Force Lightning all about him, reaching into every space and crevice where someone could hide. Rock and permacrete shattered under the lightning's touch, but when the dust had finally settled, nothing more was revealed than the confines of the room he was in.
Feeling suddenly weakened by the outpouring of Force energy, Kyle fell to both knees and for just a moment, his mind cleared. And in that moment, he called out in the Force.
Kneeling on the ground, breath coming in gasps, Mara Jade contemplated once again if her mission could be completed successfully. Truly, she wanted to rescue Kyle, to reach his mind, to show him that the way he had chosen was wrong.
I can't give up, I made a promise. But I've got nothing left. I've failed.
Mara.
What do you want now?
Expecting a sarcastic remark, a retort, even a threat, what spoke in Mara's mind was the last thing she expected.
Mara, please help me.
How?
Mara, listen to me. You cannot win by fighting, but there is still a way. You must…
The voice suddenly cut off and in the Force, Mara felt a struggle of wills, a cry of pain and then silence.
There was something else, not a spoken voice, but something far more subtle, quieter. And as Mara listened, a thought entered her mind, a thought not of her own. And with it, a glimmer of hope.
Taking advantage of the momentary respite, she reached out to the Force, trying by force of effort to seek its power. But rather than sensing its energies, Mara felt resistance, like the cork of a bottle refusing to come free.
Please, she said in the Force, I don't know the words to say. But if there is any hope, show me what to do.
In the next moment, Mara experienced a surge in the Force unlike any she had ever felt Rising to her feet, she realized she knew what to do. The possibility of failure still weighed on her, but she knew she had to try.
With this thought, Mara felt a fresh surge of energy in her body. The pain she was experiencing began to fade, the cramps in her aching muscles loosening. Drawing in a deep breath, she felt refreshed, renewed and with her mind able to focus once. Moving forward, she held her lightsaber at the ready. Turning down a corridor, she had walked perhaps a dozen steps when a great flash of light overwhelmed her vision.
"This is it, "Kyle muttered to himself, "the final step; the one remaining choice."
Despite Mara's initial resistance, and a brief moment of weakness, he was feeling confident. Mara would make the right choice, of this he was certain, and then…
And then…
"And then, we will move forward… together. Nothing will be beyond us."
As the flash of light faded, Mara found herself standing in a space of absolute blackness, save for two circular platforms, one of which she was standing on. Between the platforms was a bridge of cut stone. Standing on the other platform was Kyle, his activated lightsaber hanging next to his left leg.
When he spoke, there was a sense of something like admiration in his voice.
"I should congratulate you, reaching the heart of the temple is not an easy journey."
His voice grew more forceful.
"By finding me, you have chosen your destiny. You have traveled far. Now, take the final steps on the path that lies before you. Join me, and together we will restore the Sith to its former glory."
But instead of seeing an expression of anticipation or subservience, Kyle watched as Mara shook her head at him.
"No, that will never happen. I will kill you if I must, but I sense that you will not make that necessary."
While his face betrayed nothing, Kyle was taken aback by this. Had Mara actually refused him, refused his offer of ultimate power?
After all that has happened, does she truly believe that I can be swayed?
Gazing at her silently for a moment, Kyle saw that Mara was resolute in what she had said.
It seems she may choose death after all.
"There is no conflict, only resolve," he said to her, anger in his voice, "the path of your destiny is now set and you have but two choices. Cross the bridge before you and join me or maintain your pitiful faith in the Force by stepping off into oblivion and death."
Watching as Mara stepped forward, anticipation filled Kyle, but just as quickly turned into shock and anger as she stepped off the platform.
I will make you regret this foolish choice.
With another flash of light, Mara found herself in a room. She was standing atop the platform once more and could see the other on the opposite side of the room. Comprised of stone, the space contained a number of carvings of what appeared to be Jedi and Sith engaged in combat. But as she craned her head, one carving in particular caught her attention. It was of a Jedi on his knees, the hilt of a lightsaber on the ground before him.
In a flash, Mara understood.
Just then, Kyle appeared, his face a mask of fury. Approaching her with his lightsaber at the ready, he spoke.
"I know your intentions are to save me, Mara, but it's far too late now."
For a moment, she nearly went for her own saber, intent on defending herself. But the message of the carving was clear. Moving her hand away, Mara stood her ground as Kyle drew his saber back and swung. But rather than slice into her, the energy blade stopped within an inch of her neck, the sound of it filling her ears.
It was as if his muscles had suddenly stopped working. The action was a simple one, a strike to the neck, severing the head from the body. The effort required was minimal, his strength and power more than capable of performing the task.
But he could not do it.
Standing there, breathing hard, sweat accumulating on his head, Kyle tried by all the force of his will to make his body move, to finish the strike.
He could not.
Suddenly, the face before him morphed, resolving itself into Mon Mothma, her piercing gaze driving into him, then it was his father, looking disappointed and sad. He next saw Wexter, wearing an expression of profound contempt. And then there was Jan, but instead of angry look, her gaze took him back to that day on the planet Ruusan. He remembered holding the lightsaber his father had given him, Jan kneeling on the ground at his mercy and Jerec's entreaty to kill her. He'd looked into her eyes and...
"I can't! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The strength went out of his legs, the lightsaber falling away, deactivating. Dropping to one knee, he looked up, seeing Mara's face where Jan's had been. In that moment, he knew.
"I won't do this!" he cried, raising his hands to the ceiling, "This is not the way, it asks too much of me!"
He paused for a moment, eyes briefly settling on Mara's before moving away.
"I can't kill my friends and allies."
Despite all that had passed, Mara felt genuine sympathy for the man. She had seen his struggles, but nothing like this. He was beaten, utterly defeated. The person she had once been would have taken her revenge at this moment, to make the man suffer for all he had done to her.
But I'm not that person, not anymore.
Instead of righteous anger, thoughts of retribution, taking the opportunity to pay back this man for every bit of pain, every difficulty, every obstacle, Mara felt none of this. Instead, she felt something like pity. Before her was her teacher, a man with incredible power at his behest, now done on one knee, as vulnerable as she'd ever seen him.
"No, you can't," she said gently, "trust in your feelings."
Looking back at her, Kyle fell to both knees, shaking his head.
"I was deluded too easily, I thought I could control the power. Instead, I lost myself to it. I have failed."
"You haven't failed, Kyle," Mara said, trying by the force of her words to bolster him.
A smile crossed his face and then he chuckled.
"So now I suppose you're the teacher and I'm the student."
Mara considered this for a moment, then gave a muted laugh.
"You should be so lucky," she said, reaching out a hand to him, "C'mon, let's go home."
Kyle stared at the offered hand.
"Do I even have a home to return to, Mara?"
She gestured at the space.
"You can't stay here."
Kyle hesitated a moment, took the offered hand. Mara helped rise to his feet. As the shadows fell away, she got a good look at him.
"No offense, Kyle, but you look terrible."
Remembering his appearance from when she'd last seen him on Altyr 5, she marveled at how much Kyle had appeared to have aged. His eyes were sunken deep into his face. His beard, normally kept well-trimmed had grown long and wild.
"If I look as bad as I feel, I can only imagine how I appear."
Turning serious, Mara gestured.
"Listen, I know you've just been through hell and back, but are you able to fight? I don't imagine the denizens of the temple will just let us leave."
With a wan smile coming to his lips, Kyle replied.
"It might be easier than you think. Most of the enemies you faced were directed by me. Without the Dark Side to guide them, I don't think they'll take much notice of us."
"Maybe," Mara said, "but in case you're wrong, let's be ready."
Nodding in agreement, Kyle was able to provide help in leading Mara out of the temple. In what seemed like a short time, a doorway slid aside, revealing the swamp beyond.
Drawing in a lungful of the fetid air, Mara smiled.
"I never thought I'd say this, but breathing this air actually feels good."
It took some time, but they eventually reached the Shrike, their way unimpeded. In the Force, Mara could sense the wildlife around them. Occasionally, she caught a glimpse of a Swamp Wampa, but they made no move to approach the pair.
"They've all gone back to what they were before I came," Kyle said in response to her silent question, "fearful and wary of strangers. They won't try to hurt us."
Mara looked at her former teacher, not seeing or feeling any deception from him. Still…
"What would be the purpose in me trying, Mara?" Kyle said, once again anticipating her inquiry.
"All right then," she said, nodding.
Deactivating the Shrike's security systems, she unlocked the main hatch and stepped inside, Kyle following.
"The cabin's free, if you want it," she offered."
"Thank you," Kyle said wearily, turning and heading aft.
Watching him go, Mara shook her head at the turn of events before moving to the cockpit. Sitting down in the pilot's couch, she began flipping switches and pushing buttons. For a moment, the darkened panel of the Shrike remained so and then indicators began to come to life, lights powering on including those on the flight deck. Outside, the thunder and lightning continued to roar and the rain had begun again. An indicator flashed green on the panel and she pushed a control, feeding power to the repulsors. With the sound of the engines coming online beginning to fill the cockpit, she increased power to the lift systems, commanding the ship to rise.
For a moment, the ship didn't move and dark thoughts began to cross Mara's mind conjuring images of being trapped. But as even a vision of the Shrike sinking into the muck came to her, the vessel lifted free, rising into the air. As the wings rotated from landing to flight configuration, relief flooded through Mara. Rotating the ship's nose to point skyward, she grasped the throttles and advanced them.
The Shrike responded, rising up into the storm-filled sky. Mara increased speed, letting out a breath she didn't realized she'd been holding when the dark clouds gave way to the ebony curtain of space. Eyes flicking to a monitor, Mara's relief increased as she saw Dromund Kaas was beginning to recede.
She was just reaching for the comlink to let Kyle know they were clear of the planet when she felt a cry of agony in the Force.
Kyle Katarn didn't know what to feel, his mind was in turmoil, his body feeling incredibly heavy. Just raising a hand to his face seemed to take a great effort. The sound of the Shrike's engines reached his ears and with a body once accustomed to space travel, he could feel the ship rise and climb out.
We're leaving, he thought, I'm leaving.
The thought of what he had nearly done weighed on him heavily. Yes, he had touched power, a power so vast and pervasive it had reached across the galaxy and drawn him to it. Coming to this place, the temples of Dromund Kaas, he'd feel such anticipation and excitement. The power here was unlike anything he'd ever felt. With a mere effort of thought, he could see across the cosmos, mind's eye looking down on planets he'd never seen before. But even more, he could reach out and touch beings he'd never encountered. Their minds were laid open to him, their thoughts and memories like pages of a book that he could read at will.
Now it was all gone, the power, the ability, all that he might have become.
But what other choice was there?
What he'd seen in that moment, with his saber only a hairsbreadth away from ending Mara's life, his image reflected in the eyes of his friends, he hadn't seen admiration, celebration or gratitude. Instead there was only disappointment, fear and sadness.
It was in that moment that Kyle had seen what he was becoming, how far he'd strayed from the path of the Light Side and how close he was to being chained to the Dark Side forever.
And Jan!
Jan, whom he loved despite all that had passed between them, her face had been the hardest to look at. True, he seen disappointment in her face before, but not like this. To achieve what he had desired up till that moment, he would have to give up or even destroy the woman he cared about more than his own life.
The evil he had done already, the evil he had nearly done.
Dropping to his knees on the floor of the cabin, Kyle had clenched his fists, striking the deck, visions of the pain and anguish he had caused and would have continued filling his mind.
How could I have been so blind? So blind to what was before me?
Again, his fists crashed against the deck, once, twice, three times. The physical pain from the blows was strangely helpful. His mind slowly came into focus, the flood of images slowing, his control returning.
In that moment, he finally saw that, despite his seemingly continual diatribe about the dangers of the Dark Side, Luke Skywalker had been right. The Dark Side was so devious, so calculating, using whatever circumstances or method it could to corrupt, to seduce and to destroy.
Kyle had tasted the power it offered, and found it sweet and enticing. But he'd failed to consider the cost of obtaining the power and what it had meant to give in. He had thought all along that he was the one in control, bending the power of the Dark Side to his will. But now he knew, it had been control all this time, guiding him, fooling him and directing him until he had nearly murdered his student.
But even as despair threatened to overwhelm him, Kyle felt his mood lighten somewhat as he considered what Mara had done.
She had come here, to this Dark Side world, faced all its perils, deceptions and traps. And where he had fallen, she had resisted, relying on the Light Side of the Force to guide and help her. Her faith and trust had been so great, she had been willing to die rather than give in to the temptation of the Dark Side. Were he still her teacher, Kyle would have told Mara how proud he was of her and how well she had done. He remembered the feeling he had when they had first met. She had the capacity to be a very great Jedi. Mara already had skills with the lightsaber and the Force from her time years ago as the Emperor's Hand. Her time as a smuggler had added combat skills to her repertoire, making her a formidable opponent. Many in the New Republic and among the Jedi distrusted Mara, seeing her as no more than a traitorous individual who had once worked for the Empire. Some of the more fanatical had thought she might even be a double agent. When Skywalker had assigned Mara as Kyle's apprentice, he had brought these concerns to the Jedi master. Luke had listened patiently and then answered, "I would trust Mara Jade with my life, Kyle."
So, Kyle had decided that he would focus not on Mara's past, but on the present, and teach her to be a Jedi. As they trained, Kyle began to see why Skywalker trusted Mara so completely. And as Kyle learned to trust Mara, she reciprocated.
It was that trust and the friendship that developed between them that Kyle held fast to now. It seemed the only bright spot in his universe. As they lifted off from Dromund Kaas, Kyle fought the urge to tell Mara to go back down, to leave him on the planet. Though he had fought against the power in the Sith Temple, Kyle could feel it still inside him, just waiting to re-emerge. He was reminded of Jerec when the Dark Jedi had invited him to join the Dark Side. But there had been a price, a test, and that was to kill Jan. He remembered her face at that terrible moment, when he had to decide between the light and the dark. Her eyes had pleaded with him, but there had been uncertainty in her expression. There had been a moment, a seeming eternity in his mind when he had nearly struck, the lure of the Dark Side so appealing, all that power. He had made the choice to reject Jerec's offer, sparing Jan, and it had nearly cost him his life. But now, he had crossed that line, making the wrong choice, allowing himself to fall prey to the temptations of the Dark Side. And he had come so close, so very close to taking Mara's life.
She should have left me there. How can I ever look anyone in the eye again? How is anyone going to trust me ever again?
He shook his head violently.
No! I can't think that way! Fear is another tool of the Dark Side! If I keep thinking the way I am…
He tried to meditate, but his mind was too jumbled to focus. He cast about the cabin, looking for something, anything to help. His eyes fell upon his lightsaber. He had set the device down upon entering the cabin.
The exercises! Maybe if I…
He extended his right hand and the metal cylinder leapt into it. Rising to his feet, he took a deep breath and hit the activation stud. The saber came alive with its distinctive snap-hiss, the yellow-gold beam, bathing him in its light in the dark cabin. Kyle drew in another breath, feeling his racing heart slow. Another and he felt some of his control reasserting itself. A smile came to his face. How good the lightsaber felt in his hands, the way it fit so well, the reassurance it provided. He moved into the first defensive position, then the second, then the third, the steps and moves coming to his mind with ease. The lightsaber hummed, the sound changing pitch as it cut through the air. As he finished the last move, Kyle found himself feeling much better, his breathing a bit heavier, but in control.
I feel so relaxed, I should have done this sooner.
He stared into the glowing blade, using it to focus, his body and mind calming.
There is nothing to fear. I only lost control because of Mara, her interference, bringing irrelevant thoughts and problems to my mind. I am in control now.
Sensing Dromund Kaas moving further and further away, Kyle considered what to do next.
I could force Mara to return me. Her power is no match for my own. But… should I?
Kyle took a minute to consider.
No.
There is no need.
I have taken all I need from Dromund Kaas and the Dark Side power there.
The smile on his face intensified as he contemplated what to do next.
Yes.
I will allow this.
Kyle nodded to himself, his decision made. Yes, he would allow Mara to remove him from Dromund Kaas. There was nothing more there for him. Besides, with his own ship a useless hulk, her ship would be necessary. It would become his new conveyance, taking him to all the places he wished. There were many more worlds to conquer, to bring under his influence. Oh, the possibilities! The power that awaited him! Power greater than even what he already possessed. And if Mara or even Jan got in his way…
It was as this last word crossed his mind that Kyle's focus shattered.
What am I thinking?!
His heart began to beat rapidly once more, hands beginning to shake, a bitter taste filling his mouth. A vision of what he had been contemplating flashed across his mind.
No, no I can't. I won't do this…
"I won't!" he screamed, the lightsaber falling from his trembling hands, deactivating, the metal hilt bouncing once as it struck the deck, rolling a short distance away.
His newfound strength fading, Kyle fell to his knees, hands going to his face, tears and sweat pouring from and off of him. His worst fears were realized, the Dark Side was still within him. How quickly had the darkness come upon him again, the temptation of power, of conquest. And for one terrible moment, he had thought such things… horrible, terrible things. Images he did not even want to contemplate had entered his mind, actions he would normally never consider. Moving his hands, Kyle's eyes fell upon the lightsaber.
Luke was right, I should have listened to him.
In the cockpit of the Shrike, Mara felt the sudden disturbance in the Force. At first, a sense of calm, of control, and then an outpouring of pain and anguish so great it nearly overwhelmed her. She reached into the Force, finding the strength to ride the wave of emotion until the intensity faded.
What in the nine hells was that?
A moment later, she knew.
She could feel it, the grief and torment coming from a single source. Her first instinct was to rush to the cabin and check, but her more cautious self took hold. She hit a quick sequence of keys, deactivating the engines, shields and weapons systems. Another button press encrypted the control access. Without a password entered by her, the ship would go nowhere. The steady roar of the engines died away as the Shrike came to relative rest in space. Spinning her chair around to face the back of the ship, Mara unstrapped and cautiously began making her way towards the cabin. Her lightsaber was out and ready, her thumb poised over the activation stud.
Reaching the closed door, she placed her free palm on its surface, then closed her eyes, reaching out in the Force.
Kyle?
The voice came so suddenly, piercing the darkness in his mind and around him, Kyle raised his head up in surprise, eyes wide.
Who…?
Kyle? It's Mara, are you okay?
A mixed sense of relief and fear came over him. Mara must have heard him, sensing his emotions in the Force. But had she heard it all? Did she know what he had been planning? If she had…
Looking at the discarded lightsaber once more, Kyle decided, praying he hadn't ruined his last chance. Hand still shaking a bit, he reached out with it and in the Force.
Mara's combat senses ramped up a notch as the cabin door slid open an inch, then a bit more, the blackness inside revealing nothing.
Suddenly, a shape came hurtling out of the room, striking the deck in front of her and rolling to a stop near her feet.
She looked down, brows furrowing in confusion at what she was seeing.
Mara?
She looked up at the sound of Kyle's voice in her mind. He sound so tired, exhausted as if he'd just run a marathon.
I'm here, Kyle
Kyle smiled to himself, feeling some relief. Mara was there. She could do what he could not.
Mara..
What's going on, Kyle?
He could hear the suspicion in her voice, the concern.
My lightsaber. Put it… put it away somewhere.
He could feel her surprised reaction, the question already forming in her mind
Keep it away from me, Mara. It's… it's not safe around me. I don't… I don't want to…
Feeling the rush of fear from him, Mara still felt confused, but knew she had to act. Reaching down, she took ahold of the lightsaber hilt.
I'll take care of it.
Relief poured from Kyle and sense of even greater tiredness.
Thank you, Mara.
The cabin door slid closed.
Still wondering what had just happened, what had caused Kyle to offer up his lightsaber, Mara returned to the cockpit and unlocked the controls. She had the ship back up to speed and was preparing for the hyperspace jump when it happened.
Eyes closed, nearly asleep, Kyle grabbed the sides of his head as the assault began. A flood of Dark Side energy crashing into his mind, blotting out everything else.
"No!" it screamed, "you will not escape! You belong here, you belong to me! You have no choice but to obey!"
Kyle tried to marshal his Jedi defenses, but the Dark Side cut through it all with savage ease. The voice was all he could hear, all he could feel. He couldn't fight it much longer, the Dark Side would win, Kyle would…
In the cockpit, Mara felt the assault no less than Kyle. A nearly overwhelming force flooding her mind, keeping here from being able to move, even to focus. It commanded her to turn the ship around, to go back to Dromund Kaas, to take the ship back down. She would not escape with Kyle, she would join him.
Doing her best to focus despite the overwhelming force in her mind, she managed to draw a breath and with one focused, supreme effort, she forced her right hand to move, grabbing for the hyperspace controls.
Engines flaring brightly, the Shrike flickered with pseudomotion as it leapt into hyperspace.
For Kyle and Mara, it was as if a door had shut, a window closed. One moment, their minds were being bombarded, the next everything was quiet. Exhausted by the ordeal, Kyle collapsed and was soon unconscious. Feeling no less drained, Mara took time to comprise a message and send it via hyperspace communicator. Then she engaged the autopilot before leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes.
Local space
Yavin system
Several Hours Later
"Kyle, calm down."
Mara said this over her shoulder as the Shrike cruised past the first planet of the Yavin system.
"You weren't the one who fell to the Dark Side, Mara. I have no idea what I'm walking into."
Mara rotated in her chair to face him.
"Kyle, this is Skywalker we're talking about. If anyone understands about what you've been through, it's him."
"I still don't know…"
"It'll be fine, trust me."
Gazing outside, Kyle saw the distant orb that was Yavin 4.
Moving into orbit, Mara brought the Shrike down through the atmosphere. Soon, the tops of the massive trees and the equally impressive spires of the Massassi temples came into view. Having received clearance, she guided the ship down to a landing pad near the temple where the former Rebel Alliance had once had its headquarters.
Skids touching down, Mara powered down the ship's systems and extended the boarding ramp. Stepping outside, the pair took a moment to drawn in a breath of the moist air.
"I forgot how nice it can be here," Mara observed.
Kyle nodded and then turning round, his eyes caught sight of an object nearby.
"Look at that," he said, pointing.
Mara turned to look.
"Pretty nice," she said, "looks like a Corellian Fast Courier."
"Maybe it was," Kyle said, "but that's been heavily modified. Look at those engine pods. I'll bet she…"
"Hello Kyle, Mara."
The two of them whipped around to see Luke Skywalker standing nearby. Kyle felt a flash of fear at the Jedi Master's implacable expression.
"Please come with me," he said, turning around and striding away. Kyle and Mara looked at each other, shrugged to each other and followed him.
Entering the temple, they followed Luke until they entered the medical bay.
"I thought I should have the medical droid look you both over."
Again, Mara and Kyle looked at each other and then she answered for both of them.
"All right."
Time passed as the droid ran scans on the two. Both showed signs of exhaustion and dehydration, but were otherwise healthy. No one was saying anything and the silence was getting to Kyle. Despite his fear, he was about to speak when there was a commotion from outside.
The doors to the medical bay opened and in stepped a figure. At first, Kyle couldn't tell who it was, but then the figure stepped closer, the face becoming clear.
"Jan," he whispered.
Jan Ors moved into the center of the room, a tense expression on her face. She cast about, eyes settling briefly on Kyle before moving on Mara. Heading her way, Jan stopped a short distance away from the other woman.
"Thank you," Jan said, "for bringing him back."
"I made you a promise," Mara replied.
The women stared at each other for a long moment, and then Jan turned away, approaching Kyle.
Rising to his feet, Kyle looked into a face completely unreadable. Not knowing what to say or do, he decided to try a conciliatory approach.
"Hey there, partner."
"Partner," Jan repeated flatly. Then her face morphed into a look of fury.
"Partner?!"
Before Kyle could even consider what was about to happen, Jan looped a fist into his gut. Doubling over, Kyle gasped in pain and surprise. She followed with a right cross that caught him square on the cheek. Falling to the ground, Kyle fought to get his breath back, even as Jan loomed over him.
"Blast you, Kyle Katarn! You don't get to do this to me! You don't have the right!"
In that moment, Kyle felt truly afraid of her.
"I did everything I could to support you in this quest of yours, but this is too much! You've pushed me too far! You always said to beware the Dark Side, so what happened?"
Managing to get his breath back somewhat, Kyle looked up into Jan's face, not sure what to say or how to answer her. He looked away.
"Oh no," Jan growled," don't you dare, Katarn. Don't you look away from me."
Reluctantly, he turned his face back towards her.
"You're going to answer my questions, Katarn, and we're going to talk about this, even if I have to beat it out of you."
She turned to Luke.
"I'm going to be borrowing him for a while."
The Jedi Master held up both hands in surrender.
"No argument here."
Shifting her gaze back to Kyle, she extended her hand. He looked at it, but didn't move.
"Take it, Katarn."
He hesitated a moment longer, then lifted his hand to meet hers. Jan pulled strongly, helping Kyle rise to his feet. He wondered if she might hit him again.
Instead, Jan turned away and headed for the door.
When Kyle didn't immediately follow her, she stopped just outside the entrance.
"Let's go, Katarn, now."
When Kyle still didn't respond, Mara chimed in.
"I'd go with her if I were you."
Luke nodded in agreement.
Kyle looked at them both, finally moving to follow Jan.
When the door had closed, Mara turned to Luke.
"I know I said to go, but do you think it was the right thing to say?"
"Do you want to be the one to say no to her?" Luke replied, nodding at the door.
"No," Mara replied, remembering her fight with Jan.
Jan led Kyle led him through the temple until she stopped before a doorway. Keying it open, she stepped inside. After a moment, Kyle followed her.
He was just inside the doorway when the towel came flying at him. Raising a hand, he just managed to catch it.
"What the…?"
He looked from it to see Jan standing nearby, hands on hips. She arced her head over her shoulder.
"Into the 'fresher with you," she commanded. "You look like hell, Katarn."
He stared at her for a long moment and then, not wanting to incur any more of her wrath, followed her instructions. Stripping off his uniform, Kyle saw it was pockmarked, torn and stained.
Is this really what I've been wearing?
Stepping into the shower, Kyle felt his skin react, dirt and grime pouring off of him. How long had it been since he last taken a shower? He couldn't remember. Time passed as his body began to relax and when he finally emerged, Kyle felt more calm than he had in some time. It was then he caught a look at himself in the mirror.
Is that really me?
His skin had grown sallow, his eyes two pale orbs sunken into his face. His hair had grown long and wild, his beard even more so.
I look like I'm a thousand years old.
Toweling himself dry, Kyle looked for his uniform, but it was gone. Instead, a robe was hanging nearby. Putting it on, he stepped out of the 'fresher.
Jan rose from where she was sitting on the couch and approached him.
"Well, that looks a little better. How do you feel?"
"Better," he admitted, "but where are my clothes?"
"If you're referring to that disgusting mess you left on the floor, I got rid of it."
Kyle started to protest, but Jan cut him off.
"Don't argue with me, Katarn. Fortunately, I have one of your old outfits here. And judging by the way you look, it should fit just fine. But first, let's take care of that rats nest of a beard you're sporting."
She removed a laser cutter from her pocket and moved closer to him. When Kyle flinched away, Jan gave him an irritated look.
"I'm not going to cut your face off, Katarn."
"How do I know I can trust you?"
Jan gave him an incredulous look.
"Did you just seriously ask me that question?"
"Well after what happened…" he began.
"You mean after you disappeared and I had to learn from Mara and Ovall that you'd gone to some Dark Side world and likely fell to the Dark Side while you were there? You don't think that might've upset me just a little bit?"
"It wasn't exactly a picnic for me either, Jan."
"I know that," she countered, "but I also know the Kyle Katarn I see right now is not the one I last saw. And from what I've learned, you've been through hell and back. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to excuse what you've done."
He glared at her.
"You have no idea what I've done."
"Then, talk to me," she said, her voice softening, "Tell me what happened."
"I… don't know if I can."
"Well, you've gotta talk to someone about it. And if you can't trust me, then who can you trust?"
"And what do you call what happened earlier?" Kyle asked.
"You mean knocking you on your ass? You deserved that, Katarn."
"And I'm supposed to just forget it?"
"Fine," Jan said, "if you're that upset, go ahead, hit me back."
She set down the laser cutter and stood before him.
"Well?"
"Fine," Kyle answered and to Jan's surprise, he struck, delivering a punch to her face, causing her to back a few steps.
She reached a hand up to the mark on her cheek.
"Feel better?"
"Actually, yes," Kyle answered.
"Fine then," she said, "you got me back. Now sit down and let me fix that mess."
Kyle hesitated, then moved to a chair and sat down. Retrieving the cutter, Jan moved in close and activated it, moving the device. Despite Kyle's earlier suspicions, Jan was careful with the cutter, never coming too close. Gradually, the hairs fell away and with them, Kyle felt some semblance of himself returning.
With a final stroke, she stepped back.
"Now, that's a lot better," she said, "take a look."
Rising from the chair, Kyle examined himself in the mirror. He was amazed at the change. What had been a dirty, unkempt beard was now trimmed and shaped. His hair had likewise been trimmed and combed. He turned to Jan.
"It looks… really great. Thank you."
"You're welcome," she replied, "now, do you wanna tell me what in the nine hells happened, Katarn?"
"You promise not to hit me again?"
"Depends on what you have to say," Jan responded.
Taking a deep breath, Kyle tried to begin, but found he couldn't maintain eye contact with Jan. The brief flash of joy he experienced at hitting her had faded.
"Sorry for hitting you."
"That's past, Katarn. Now, talk to me."
He responded by looking down at the floor and sighing heavily.
"I messed up, Jan, I really messed up."
"I gathered that much already, Katarn."
"I should have listened to Luke. I thought I could handle this, but I was wrong. I really, really messed up."
"What made you go to that planet?"
"It seemed so clear before. I felt like I had to go. It was as if I had no other choice."
"And you didn't think to take some backup? At least stay in contact?"
"I thought I could handle it. Everything seemed fine at first. I didn't realize what was happening until it was too late."
"And exactly what happened?"
Kyle shook his head.
"I… I don't think I can tell you that. If you know what I thought… what I did…"
Jan heard the emotion filling his voice and could only wonder what had happened.
"Kyle…"
"If I tell you… I don't think you'd understand. No, that's not right. I'm afraid you'll hate me."
"Well, I'm already pretty angry with you. It can't get much worse."
"Oh yes it can," Kyle replied, "you don't know, Jan, you can't know… what I almost became."
"Maybe not, but…"
It was then she noticed that he was shaking.
"Kyle, you have to…"
When he spoke this time, Kyle's voice was filled with emotion.
"I'm sorry, Jan. I never meant for any of this to happen. I…"
He paused, took a deep breath.
"I thought I could handle this. I thought I was in control, but I wasn't. And what I almost did... what I was planning. I… I could have…"
Tears stung his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Jan, I can't… I just…"
Suddenly, she was there, her hands reaching for him, pulling him to her.
"It's okay," she said.
Jan guided Kyle over to the couch and sat next to him.
"It's okay," she repeated, "let it out. I'm here."
Kyle looked up into Jan's face and instead of the angry look he'd seen earlier, what he saw now was the earnest, supportive Jan he'd always known. The kindness he felt from her sent a new wave of emotion through him. She held him as the words tumbled forth.
Jedi Academy at Yavin 4
Quarters of Jan Ors
Two Hours Later
"And then, we got to Mara's ship and left the planet. I'm not sure exactly who or what it was, but the Dark Side made one final attempt to keep us from leaving. I can't speak for Mara, but I was close to giving in. If we hadn't jumped to hyperspace, I wouldn't be here."
Jan shook her head, marveling at the tale she'd just been told.
"You really went through an ordeal. In a way, I'm amazed that you're even here."
"You're not the only one," Kyle said, "when I think of what happened, what I almost did… If it hadn't been for Mara, I wouldn't be here."
Jan made a mental note to thank the former Emperor's Hand again when she saw her next.
"I'm also a bit angry that you let things get this far. Didn't you think at some point to stop and talk to someone? Luke? Me?"
Kyle looked away for a moment, then shook his head.
"It seems so arrogant now, but at the time, I felt like I had to go alone, that I could handle it."
Jan shook her head in response.
"Not a good idea. You know as well as I do you don't walk into an unknown situation without backup."
"I know," Kyle said, a bit too quickly.
"I'm not saying I could have done anything, but you could have contacted me, talked to Mara at the very least."
"I know."
"You're always talking about how dangerous the Dark Side is. I would have thought…"
"Look, I know, okay?!" Kyle exploded, rising to his feet and turning to glare at her. "I know I messed up, Jan! I went against every good and common sense thing that could have kept this from happening. I know I should have talked to you or Luke or Mara, but I didn't! I took a stupid chance and nearly lost myself! If you don't think I realize the gravity of my actions or the potential consequences, then you haven't been listening to one word I said!"
"Kyle…" she began, a warning implicit in her tone.
"When I think about what I almost did, what I was thinking and planning… I would have turned my back on everything and everyone I ever cared about. I could have ended up killing who knows how many? And in the end, what would I have? Nothing more than…
Taking a deep breath and calming herself, Jan rose and put her arms around him.
"I'm sorry, Kyle, I said too much."
He stared into her eyes for a long moment, then reached out and touched her cheek. Jan could see he was fighting for control.
"When I think of how I was going to throw away everything we have, to sacrifice… us, it burns inside me, Jan. I feel like I'd rather lose a limb than ever hurt you. I…"
"Kiss me, Kyle,"
He paused, registering her words, then leaned down and kissed her.
When their lips parted, Jan smiled up at him.
"That's the Kyle Katarn I know. The gentle, kind man who sometimes is a real pain."
He smiled and then chuckled.
"No fair making me laugh."
Expression turning serious, Jan continued, "I'm sorry for what's happened to you, Kyle. Knowing how you are, I can only imagine how you've suffered. But that's over and done. In the end, you did the right thing and now you've returned to me. We can pick up the pieces together."
He looked deeply into her eyes.
"I love you, Jan."
"I love you too, Kyle."
It was at that moment that her communicator dinged.
The pair looked at each other and laughed.
"Perfect timing as always," Kyle said.
Jan shook her head and pulled the device from her belt.
"Jan here."
"Jan, this is Luke," came the placid tones of Luke Skywalker, "I hate to interrupt, but I was hoping that I might speak with Kyle."
"I'm here, Luke."
"Kyle, I was hoping I might talk to you. Can you meet me in the audience chamber right away?"
Kyle looked to Jan, who nodded.
"Sure, Luke, I'm on my way."
"Good, see you soon."
Returning the device to her belt, Jan looked up.
"Guess our time together is up."
"Well, I had to talk to Luke eventually. He needs to know what happened."
"Are you worried?"
"A little. I know I keep saying this, but I really messed up, Jan. My actions alone were bad enough, but being a Jedi on top of that… I have to consider how this reflects on the Order."
"What do you think Luke's going to do?"
"There's an easy way to find that out," he replied.
"I'll go with you," Jan said, taking his hand.
"I was hoping you'd say that."
She gave him a sarcastic look.
"After all that's happened, Katarn, if you think I'm going to let you out of sight, you're out of your mind."
"Love you too… partner."
Jan squeezed his hand as they left the room.