Note: This is not Episode 4. This was partly written to hold off readers until the next update of Memories Guarded In Blue Paradise, which will likely be two weeks or so from now (sorry for the delay; you might need to refresh your memories on what has transpired in that story). This, however, is an interlude. It often means :An entertainment between the acts of a play. But since this is not a play, it means "an intervening or interruptive period, space, or event : interval." Not sure how many more interludes there'll be for this story, or if there'll even be more, but here is the one:
Summary: Kahlan, who has been feeling lonely for what seems like most of her life, unexpectedly meets Cara in a grocery store. It has been two days since their kiss at the night club, and Cara has come to a conclusion about herself. This update starts out with a poem or rather quote (since it's not the typical poem style) from Kahlan, and provides more insight into her feelings about having "found" Cara.
IIII
INTERLUDE 1: "You grocery shop?"
How old am I?
This century, the next? How do I live this long?
Is it a blessing hidden in disguise? Or a curse, as it seemed from the start?
That I am only now just finding my true love, plucked beyond years of despair, beyond the trials and tribulations which left me dying, trying to find my match...even knowing that I would not.
Did I know not?... And is this the end?
The end of the loneliness, the isolation of so long, the irritatingly, mind-numbingly insidious torture that has always left me asking...
How old am I?
You sure you want to know?
IIII
Cara stood in the Bigger and Better grocery store, late evening, dumbfounded. It's not like she never expected to bump into Kahlan outside of school, or their Flamer/Anchor duties, but she was still taken aback to see the gorgeous brunette in the produce section of the store selecting a bag of lettuce just several feet away from her. Standing there, bending over like that beside her buggy full of groceries, Kahlan looked just like any normal consumer. She was dressed in a red and black flannel shirt, completely uncharacteristic of her wardrobe, tucked into tight, black jeans. But at least she was still wearing high heels. God, Cara loved it when she wore high heels. And, really, Kahlan looked good in anything she decided to put on. She was even wearing the half-a-heart necklace Cara had given her; it was just dangling there from her neck as she bent over, while Cara's own matching piece was beneath her own shirt.
Cara took in a sharp breath and exhaled as she prepared to approach the woman. It was still light outside, but it would be dark soon enough, and she was trying to hurry in case facing an encounter with the undead. Sometimes, she craved the fight; other times, she wanted the annoying creatures expelled from the very Earth. It had been two days since she and Kahlan said more than a simple "hi" to each other - two days since their most recent kiss. Not because of zombie fighting or anything of the sort, but because of the awkwardness. Cara hadn't been able to rid herself of that kiss, or the way Kahlan had pressed up against her. If she wasn't sure before, she was pretty sure now - she desired the raven-haired beauty... Deeply. Her sketches from the other day were only a testament to that. Cara figured the only reason she and Kahlan hadn't truly talked since that day was because Kahlan had wanted to give her space, like she always did. She had wanted to give Cara time. Time without feeling pressured.
Cara sighed. Resolute and determined to engage her mate, she pushed her buggy past the other consumers walking by and stopped behind the woman. "Hey," she smiled.
Kahlan, still bending over and assessing some produce, jumped at the voice, turning to Cara with wide-eyed alarm. "Ca-Cara."
"Ka-Kahlan," teased the blond.
"I...," she put the bag of lettuce in her buggy and shrugged nervously. "I didn't follow you here. I promise."
"I know you're not a stalker, Kahlan," grinned Cara. "You've proven that enough by avoiding me."
This time, Kahlan had been trying to take her mind off of the gorgeous blond. And now, seeing Cara in a gray, midriff-baring top and short blue jean shorts with snug bear-slippers was taking the brunette's mind right back to all the nasty little things she'd been daydreaming of doing with the Mord-Sith just hours earlier. "I wasn't avoiding you either. Not this time," stated Kahlan.
Kahlan was doing that penetrating glare thing again. "I know," Cara looked to the floor under the seemingly powerful scrutiny. After a few moments of silence, she met Kahlan's eyes once again. "Why do you look at me like that?"
"Like what?" Kahlan's stare did not change, but it did intensify.
Cara gulped. "Like you're looking into my soul."
"I'm..." Kahlan diverted her eyes to a couple of children fighting over a bag of chips in a close-by aisle. "I'm sorry, Cara.. It's just a part of my Confessor past, I've come to learn."
"Reading people?"
Kahlan looked at her. "Yes."
"So were you reading me just now?"
"I..."
"What are you even doing here, Kahlan? I mean, you grocery shop?"
The question seems to ease the tension, and Kahlan laughs. "You thought I teleported all the goods to my house?"
"Yeah," grinned Cara.
Kahlan laughed some more.
"No," Cara corrected herself. "You've told me how your power works - mostly personal items, familiarity, and knowing an object's exact location. So unless you knew exactly where the lettuce and other items were, I doubt teleportation would have worked. It would take one of your 'special skills' for that. And no cities or anything too wild. And certainly no stealing...unless it's an emergency." ...Or unless it's my pizza.
Kahlan's bottom lip curled in amusement. "I'm impressed."
"See, I listen to you."
"It would seem."
"I just figured you had maids or butlers who did this sort of thing for you. I mean, I know you said you live alone," Cara furrowed her eyebrows.
"I do."
"I just wasn't sure if you ate that much, despite liking to."
"I do," Kahlan stated it again, this time arching an eyebrow."
Kahlan was doing it again, eyeing her like prey. Every time the brunette talked about the pleasure she got from eating, Cara sensed she was talking about something other than food. "But what about this?" Cara tried to change the subject, briefly pulling at Kahlan's left sleeve. "Flannel?"
Kahlan smiled. "Well, your mother did seem to like me in this type of material."
"That's because you didn't look like a slut," Cara paused, "like my other friends."
Kahlan laughed.
"With the exception of Gicko... Because Hyper? Let's just say she likes to show it off."
"And what about you?" Kahlan nearly grabbed at the bottom of Cara's top but halted halfway there for fear of direct skin contact. "I was under the impression that you never bared your belly."
"Belly?" Cara smirked. "It's okay to call them what they are, Kahlan - abs."
Kahlan giggled. "Smug, are we?"
"Indeed."
"Abs then."
"I decided to show my abs," Cara said it with vindication and laughed, "because I feel different lately."
Different? Now this very much interested Kahlan. Not that she wasn't always interested in what Cara had to say. "Different how?" she asked.
Cara narrowed her eyes on Kahlan's cart. "Actually, my mom's the reason I'm here, picking up a few things for her." She moved to rummage through Kahlan's groceries. "What is all this stuff?"
Changing subjects. The woman's a pro at it. "Mostly vegetables," Kahlan observed the buggy as well.
"Vegetables?" Cara picked out a carrot and bit on it lazily. "Don't you eat any real food?"
"Real food?"
"Yes, Kahlan, real food. Let me show you," Cara threw the carrot back into Kahlan's cart and pushed her own along.
Kahlan watched Cara move past her.
"You coming?" Cara called over her shoulder.
"Oh." Kahlan turned her buggy around and quickly pulled up next to the blond.
They pushed along in silence, watching people converse, shop, give them annoyed looks.
"I think we're taking up a good part of the lane," stated Kahlan.
"Well, I'd rather have you at my side than trailing behind me," replied Cara. "They'll just have to deal."
Kahlan didn't know exactly why, but that statement warmed her heart.
No...she knew why. It was something about the equality in it. There were many times in her past when she was considered below equal. And she'd never had a lover that quite matched up to her. Perhaps that is one of the reasons I find Cara so intriguing?
"In here," Cara pulled her buggy into an aisle. "Potato Chip Central. That's what I call it anyway."
Kahlan moved in after her, looking around curiously. "Yes, I noticed two children over here earlier. They were quarreling over a bag."
"I can see why," Cara moved to stand before a sour cream & onion brand. "All the good stuff is here." She picked up a bag and ripped it open.
"Cara!" screamed Kahlan.
"What?... I'm going to pay for it." She popped a chip into her mouth, then turned to Kahlan. "Want?"
"No, I do not 'want'," Kahlan tried to pull the bag from Cara's hand. "To taste without purchase is incorrigible."
Cara backed up, wagging a finger at Kahlan. "Ah, ah. I like this brand because it reminds me of you." Cara watched Kahlan with amusement. Kahlan is so cute when she's all righteous and 'must do the right thing.' Cara suddenly shook her head with distaste.Ugh. Did I just say that?
"It..." Kahlan folded her arms across her chest. "Are you comparing me to a potato chip?"
"That I am," Cara popped another chip into her mouth and rubbed her belly for exaggerated effect, grinning wide at Kahlan.
"And what do I taste like?"
Cara nearly choked, bending over with rough coughs.
Kahlan just watched. Two could play this game. If Cara has the nerve to say I am sour, creamy and onion-like, the least she can do is clarify.
After two more rough coughs, worried passers-by, and silent giggling from Kahlan, Cara finally got a hold of herself, straightening up to look at Kahlan. "You...you never tasted sour cream & onion chips before?"
"No," Kahlan tapped her foot but kept her gaze trained on Cara.
"Jesus, woman," Cara pulled a single chip from her bag and put the rest in her buggy, "what time are you from?" She handed the lone chip to Kahlan. "Here. Taste."
"I..."
"Kahlan, I'm paying for it."
Kahlan sighed, but reluctantly took the chip and bit on it. After a few more moments, she was clearly enjoying the snack. "It's good," she stated very matter of factly.
"Why does it remind me of you?" Cara asked. "I don't quite know. A lot of foods have been doing that lately. Reminding me of you... Like anything that's too sour, because our interactions have been a sour subject more often than not."
Kahlan finished the chip with tempered curiosity. What is Cara trying to say? Why does she always sound like she both likes and hates me? "And can you readily name these other foods that make you think about me?"
Cara just smiled.
IIII
Cara and Kahlan visited various aisles, Cara using her favorite foods and food products to describe her feelings for Kahlan. Feelings, Kahlan wondered. Does Cara have true feelings for me? Not just the 'I have to deal with her' aspects?
Cara used a peach to emphasize the woman's sweetness, a bottle of hot sauce to emphasize the woman's feistiness and strong will, lettuce to reinforce the woman's "obsession" with health, and steak to compare with the woman's tough exterior. Kahlan felt the steak was more so representative of Cara's inability to emotionally 'let anyone in.' Anyone other than her mother, that is. But she didn't tell Cara this. The blond had also selected a pizza to signify "theft," which Kahlan didn't find amusing in the least. "You're never going to let that pizza incident go, are you?" she asked the Mord-Sith. "Nope," Cara had grinned.
Of course, the two had done some real shopping in between, and Cara had insisted Kahlan taste all the treats she'd never tasted before. Because of this, Kahlan spent this time experiencing all these "firsts" with Cara, something she found intimate and amazing. Cara's shopping cart had become filled with namely junk food...and with a few of the requested healthier foods for her mother. Not to mention, half of the stuff was partially eaten. It was such a contrast to Kahlan's cart, that Kahlan briefly wondered if they were right for each other at all.
And now they were in a candy and treats aisle, Cara biting into a bar of chocolate before Kahlan, their buggies behind them. "...And so, with all the stupid discussions I have with other assholes my age," stated Cara, "it makes sense that I find you so refreshing... I mean..." Wrong words. "I mean, you're not an asshole, Kahlan." Except for when you caused me to get a tattoo of your name on my ass.
Kahlan leaned back against the shelves. "You're saying you like talking to me more, because the true kids your age -"
"- Talk about partying, breakups and makeups, who they screwed last night. Generally, stuff like that. It's all they talk about, and it's like they never truly want to get to know the person. But you..."
"I what?" Kahlan arched an eyebrow. If she says, I'm ancient, I'll...
"Aside from Gicko and Hyper, you seem to really care what I think. You even look at me like... It's... I can't describe it any other way."
Kahlan stood up straight, smirking. "You do realize you've been talking about what you love about me for the past thirty minutes now?"
Cara shrugged. "I wouldn't say 'love'," she pulled the wrapper to her candy bar farther down. "Did you know my breath stays the same after I eat now? It doesn't smell or anything," Cara blew hot air into her free palm and sniffed.
Kahlan continued to be amused. "Neither does mine."
"It's just I think I have it all figured out now," Cara waved her candy bar at Kahlan.
"What figured out?"
"My sexuality," she paused, furrowing her brows up at the brunette. "I'm heteroflexible."
Kahlan giggled. Did she just say that?... "Hetero-what?"
"Heteroflexible, Kahlan," Cara frowned. "Haven't you ever heard of it? It's a perfectly valid sexual orientation."
Kahlan giggled harder.
Cara scowled. "It's not funny."
A few people pushed buggies past the two, selecting items and then moving on.
"Enlighten me," stated Kahlan.
"Well..." Cara waited for Kahlan to finish up her giggling. "It means I'm straight, but I may dabble in same-sex interaction from time to time." Kahlan started to speak, but Cara interrupted, "Not that I've ever dabbled...except for with you. And it doesn't mean 'bi.' It's a bit distinct from bisexuality."
Kahlan didn't know how to respond. Cara speaking about sexuality at any time always did manage to speed up her heart rate...and make her mind go elsewhere in thought. "And so homoflexible would be the opposite of heteroflexible?"
"Yes."
"Well, then how do you know you're not the latter, given your minor attraction to Bobby and seemingly lack of attraction to any other male?"
"Because I'm just...not."
Kahlan raked her gaze over the blond's form. Cara is admitting her attraction to me? Cara is saying that she may not be the heterosexual she thought she was?
Cara, seeming to notice Kahlan's sudden uncomfortable demeanor, decided to play on it. "You know," she inched closer, "they say chocolate is an aphrodisiac..." She narrowed her eyes on Kahlan's bosom. "Want a bite?"
"I...I..." Kahlan stuttered.
Cara threw the bar over her shoulder, and it landed perfectly in the cart. She then proceeded to place both arms against the shelves at either side of Kahlan's head, trapping the brunette where she was. "I think about you, Kahlan."
"You...you've been clear about that, Cara," Kahlan licked her lips.
Cara looked to Kahlan's throat, using the necklace there to pull Kahlan even closer to her. "You think about me?"
Kahlan couldn't decide if that was a trick question or not, but she suddenly saw an elderly couple out of her peripheral vision casting disapproving looks their way and concluded that this needed to end now. No matter that it was quite surprising that Cara was willing to publicly engage in this type of intimacy with her. "Cara..." she breathed. "This isn't the place to..."
Cara pulled back frowning, looking to her left to see the elderly couple. "Let's go somewhere...private," she grit her teeth and then pushed ahead.
Kahlan felt all she could do was follow.
IIII
Some distance away from the bathrooms, Cara spotted a kid around the age of thirteen in an aisle; he looked to be waiting for someone. "Hey, kid, wanna make a quick buck?" asked Cara as she pulled up to him, Kahlan stopping close behind.
"Cara, I don't think -"
"- Kahlan, I got this." She turned back to the youth. So how about it, kid?"
The young one looked up at Cara as though he himself were a pro at bargaining. "Okay, fine. But whatever you have in mind, it had better require more than a buck."
Cara laughed. Now this is my kind of kid. "Watch these buggies for us, will you? While we go to the restroom for a bit, and I'll pay you twenty dollars when we get back."
"Twenty dollars?" the boy's eyebrows shot up in surprise."You're on!" But after a moment, his features became concerned. "But my mother... She's close by, and -"
" - Just tell her what I told you," Cara grabbed Kahlan's hand and pulled her toward the bathrooms.
Again, Kahlan found that she could only follow.
IIII
Cara pulled Kahlan in through the bathroom door, immediately locking it behind them.
Kahlan admired the other woman's half exposed back as she did...those marvelous legs...that wonderfully firm ass. "Cara, what are you -"
"Shh -," Cara moved past her to bend down and check under each and every stall. Once done, she turned to view Kahlan standing in the area between the mirrors and door. Cara's look was positively predatory, very much the lioness sizing up its prize, and it made Kahlan take a step back in anticipation of just where this confrontation was going.
Cara moved to Kahlan. She stared for a few seconds before deciding to circle her.
"Cara, I thought you wanted to talk." Now that just sounds naive... But this can't be happening. This can't be Cara. Kahlan felt Cara push up behind her, apparently sniffing her hair. "Why are we-"
She was cut off by Cara forcibly spinning her around and pushing her into the wall beside the mirrors; Cara pinned both of Kahlan's hands to the wall at either side of her head and then just eyed the woman.
Kahlan watched that beautiful face with barely contained excitement. A bathroom was the least sexiest place she could imagine. Even with Big Bertha, it hadn't been tempered. But with Cara...it was absolutely erotic.
"Do you hate me, Kahlan?" Cara's gaze traveled over Kahlan's form as she held the other woman in place.
Kahlan squirmed a bit. "No... I don't hate you, Cara." I could never hate you. I lov-
"Because I hate me," Cara looked up at Kahlan, eyes seemingly on the brink of tears. "I don't want to want you...but god help me, I do."
Kahlan wanted to speak, to say something to ease the sorrow on that face, the ache in that heart, but she didn't know where to begin. And she was completely spellbound by the emotion spilling from the blond.
"I think about you, Kahlan."
"You...you said that earlier," Kahlan managed to breathe out.
Cara leaned into her, eyeing her lips and then her face again. Their eyes locked, sealing them away in their own little world. "And do you know what those thoughts entail?"
"I - I could guess." Kahlan's breasts heaved, and Cara pushed into them with her own. Christ!
"I hate being weak," Cara nearly purred into Kahlan's hair. "Thinking of you makes me weak... Makes me gay or bi. I don't know."
"Cara..."
"At Tanya's house, there on that bed, I wanted to touch you," Cara's gaze faltered to Kahlan's chest.
Kahlan was struggling to breathe. The room was suddenly too small. And she was quite sure Cara was passing some very literal Flamer heat into her. What is this every time we're so close? The sexual pull is gone, so...
"What is this?" asked Cara, as if hearing Kahlan's thoughts, looking over every aspect of Kahlan's body. "This draw I feel to you again? Is it a new pull?"
Kahlan simply took in a sharp intake of breath before exhaling.
"I want to touch you in certain places, Kahlan," Cara looked back up to face the other woman. "Do you want to touch me?"
Kahlan licked her own lips, almost if to keep from salivating. "Yes, Cara," she said above a whisper.
"Did you want to touch me back at Tanya's?"
"Yes, Cara." Same whisper.
"And did you know I was thoroughly aroused?" Cara pressed into Kahlan, never diverting her eyes.
Kahlan almost yelped. But instead, "Yes," she spoke softly again.
"And do you want to kiss me now?" Cara's lips were just an inch away.
"Cara..."
"I love it when you say my name that way," Cara let go of Kahlan's arms, moving back a bit to stroke her hair.
Kahlan looked like a scared nun who'd heard or seen too much, and didn't budge as her arms remained where they were. She surveyed Cara with a penetrating, curious gaze. One full of hunger...and an all-consuming lust.
"How long has it been since you..." Cara continued to play with the brunette's wavy strands, using her right hand.
Don't do this, Cara. Get me excited this way. Play me like this. I don't know what it is you want, but it never truly seems to be me.
"I need a sample, Kahlan," Cara twirled a few strands before looking into Kahlan's eyes. "A sample to know I would be making the right choice by choosing you over Bobby."
Kahlan knocked the other woman's hand away with a frown. "And what happens if I were to give you 'this sample' and you still picked him?"
"Kahlan," Cara smirked, gliding a hand down the brunette's right arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake.
"And wouldn't you need a sample from him too?"
"No," Cara suddenly grabbed both of Kahlan's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You know damn well I don't think of Bobby that way."
"Then be with me," Kahlan stepped closer, squeezing Cara's hands and sounding a bit desperate. She used her most soul-searing gaze. "And only me."
"A sample, Kahlan." Cara unlocked their hands, and used her right one to reach down and grasp at Kahlan's crotch, making the brunette jump at the unexpected contact.
"Cara..." Kahlan closed her eyes. "Is that all you think about when you're with me?... Sex?"
"No," Cara reached for the zipper.
Kahlan's blue eyes flung open, meeting determined green ones. "What did I tell you about tasting without purchase?" There was a pause. And then, "Don't enter...unless you plan to stay," she spoke softly.
Cara smirked, a curve of her lips that was more primal than anything, and began to slide the zipper down...slowly...
...more slowly...
...breath hot against breath...
...blue eyes challenging green eyes...
...And then...
Knock! Knock! "Hello? Anyone in there?" came a voice from the other side of the door.
Cara scowled, ceasing her actions with clear annoyance as she looked toward the door. "I knew that was going to happen. Like clockwork." She glanced back at Kahlan and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for the talk, Kahlan."
Kahlan was speechless.
Cara stalked over to the door, unlocked it and yanked it open, frowning at the two women glowering her way. She then pushed past them and out the door.
"What rudeness," stated the plumper of the two, moving into the bathroom with barely any acknowledgment of the brunette standing there against the wall.
"People think they can just hog public bathrooms all to themselves these days," mumbled the other.
IIII
Outside the bathroom, Cara handed the kid his money. His mother had returned at his side and looked as though she was about to scold Cara, but Cara wasn't having any of it and waved her off as she grabbed hold of her own buggy beside Kahlan's and simply pushed away. Should have been watching your child anyway.
Cara had enough on her mind. Like what she'd just done to Kahlan back there near the stalls. She knew it was unfair to the brunette, to have proposed such a thing, but she'd been taken over by her weakness for the girl. Sexual weakness. Sexual weakness and insecurities. Some part of her needed to know that Kahlan truly wanted her. Needed to hear Kahlan say it...again. And she needed to be sure that Kahlan was the right person to share her life with, in each and every way, before cutting Bobby loose. What if she were to bed Kahlan and regret it afterward? Had already turned Bobby away, when she could have had a nice, traditional life with him?
Ugh. Traditional life was not Cara's style, but Bobby was a nice guy, and she was semi-attracted to him. There was also the very real fact that her mother would keel over before accepting her with a woman. Then again, her mother didn't like Bobby either. Damn it. It is all so frustrating.
Cara pushed her buggy up to a check-out counter, sighing deeply. She only hoped Kahlan wouldn't follow after her. She didn't know what she would do if the raven-haired girl did.
IIII
Kahlan stood there in the same position Cara had left her in, stiff as a board and more confused than ever before. She was also furious as all the Underworld. Cara had done it again - left her wanton and alone. Gotten her all excited about the prospects of finally sharing a life - a true life - together. Not just one built around sex and duty.
Kahlan frowned, finally moving off the wall. She couldn't just let Cara get away with this. Leave after getting her all worked up...again. No... She needed to get a hold of the stubborn Mord-Sith and teleport her to what could be their bedchambers. To sate this hunger, fill this emptiness in her own heart, make her whole again.
Kahlan dashed for the door, and yanked it open, leaving the other women to look after her oddly.
My bedchambers. If I can just get Cara there, everything will work out fine. She wants me without question...Okay, maybe a few questions, but I can calm her fears, make her see what I see, as she feels what I feel. The love I have for her.
"Cara!" Kahlan called out into the passageway by the bathroom, earning her various looks from bystanders all around. Noticing the scrutiny, and that Cara was nowhere in sight, Kahlan shied away, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. Her buggy was where it had been left, but Cara and the kid were long gone. "Just as well," Kahlan surmised. If she had bedded Cara and Cara wasn't ready, the result wouldn't have been pretty. What's wrong with you? You know sex doesn't solve everything, she sighed.
Kahlan knew more than anyone the confusion over sexuality. And though she knew this, she had been unable to provide Cara with words of wisdom back there in the middle of the act. She did, however, remember that Cara needed time. And that was exactly what she planned to give her.
Kahlan hugged herself, looking distantly into an empty aisle. She didn't feel like grocery shopping anymore. Or painfully coming across Cara in a check-out line, assuming Cara went ahead and purchased the items her mother sought. Mother's girl, Kahlan smiled weakly. Of course she did.
Giving the store one last look-over, she vanished. Today would not be the day her loneliness ended. The day she no longer felt compelled to ask..."How old am I?"
In actuality...she knew exactly how old she was.