I fell asleep in his arms, feeling drained and uncertain. I couldn't even believe what I just did. I felt warm lying there, but I felt so scared. I didn't even know why. Paranoia, probably. I worried about getting pregnant most. Even though we were extremely careful, and I don't think he did... what if I was wrong?
I couldn't be.
I didn't wake up for awhile, and when I did, he was still holding me in his arms in a way he never had before. In a way that made it impossible for me to leave without waking him up. I could smell his aftershave, and the whole room sort of smelled like sweat. In a good way, though. Not in that old high school gym class way, but in a way completely different.
I managed a way to slide out of his arms to go downstairs and get a drink.
"Look who finally rolled out." George laughed. "Nice sex hair."
Jorel wouldn't look at me.
I smoothed down my hair, a little embarassed. "Where'd you guys put the water?"
"Get some from the tap - it actually works." George put down his book and got up. "Can I just talk to you for a minute?"
"Yeah, sure." I didn't move, pouring myself a cup.
"Alone."
"Oh." I put my cup down, and followed him out. He pulled me to basically the other side of the house, then into the bathroom. He shut the door.
"Nice meeting spot." I sarcastically smirked.
"Yeah, uh - what just went on upstairs?"
I opened my mouth, but before I could even try to form together a group of words, he answered himself. "I know what just happened upstairs. Jordon had sex with you - that's right, isn't it?"
I nodded, and looked at the floor.
"Not to lay a guilt trip on or anything, but do you even know how much you fucked Jay's feelings there?"
"What?"
"He sat there spacing out, having to listen to the girl he's in love with get fucked less than 100 feet away. I don't know if you have any fucking concept of how much that hurt, but it did."
"I told Jay that we weren't anything serious... we only cuddled..."
"He took it as more than that, kiddo."
I sighed. "Well, what do I do?"
"I don't know, but I think he's sitting in that living room just fucking loathing himself, because he just kept saying, 'that should be me.'"
I buried my head in my hands, and smoothed back my hair. "Well, fuck then."
"Just tone it down around him. He isn't breaking you guys up or something, just - don't be all lovey with Jordon right in his face or anything."
I just nodded. "I understand."
I was crushed. I never even thought about Jay - everything just happened too fast. I didn't know if I even wanted to be with Jordon over him. It all happened all too fast, and my head was still spinning at the thought of knowing that Jordon was upstairs asleep in my bed, completely aloof. Completely in love with me, I think. But Jorel was sitting on my couch, hurt and confused. And as much as I loved Jordon, I loved Jay too.
Damn, this is like the worst fucking soap opera ever, I thought.
"So what do you plan to do?" George asked me.
"I'm just gonna go for a little walk." I smoothed my hair out so it looked normal. Not that anyone would really be watching me, but I did anyways.
"You kidding me?"
"Nope. I want some fresh air."
"You aren't going out there alone."
"Cool, whoever wants to come with me, can. If nobody wants to, I AM going out there alone."

I walked out in pajamas and a Dead Couture hoodie that used to be George's, but he grew out of it. "Anyone wanna come for a little walk?" I called into the living room, tying my shoes. Jorel walked out with some guns, handing them to me.
"Last thing you'd want to forget." he mumbled, and under his breath - "I need to talk to you."
My heart dropped, and we walked out. We walked in silence, and stopped at the end of the block, sitting on someone else's doorstep.
"So, uh - sup?" I asked awkwardly, loading the gun for the anticipated shooting.
"Oh, nothing much. Just trying to get the sounds of Jordon fucking some girl I actually care about out of my ears."
I sighed. "You hate me now. Alright, I understand." I got up to leave.
"Don't go." Jorel tugged my arm. "I - I'm sorry."
I sat back down. "Why? It's my fault."
He let go of me and shot to his right, taking down a staggering shadow. "Nice." I muttered.
"Thanks." he said under his breath. "It's not your fault. I should've got the guts to make a fucking move or leave you alone."
"I don't know what to say, because I love you both." I bit my lip.
"You're going to have to choose."
"I know."
We sat in silence for awhile, shooting the occasional one down. As I've said - daytime doesn't do a thing to me. I'm not scared. An 'attack' during the day is a hoarde of about three. I could take down three without a gun. I'm alright.
"So, what now?" he asked.
"I don't know." I put my gun in my lap and rested my hands there too, making the mistake of playing with my bracelets.
"Brooklynne, let me see your arm for a second -"