Amanda groaned and turned, stretching her arm out she felt nothing but cold sheets next to her. Lifting her heavy eyelids slowly she saw her blankets and sheets were overturned as though someone had rushed out of bed.
"John?" she called out groggily. Turning she looked and saw his shirt and shoes were still littering her bedroom floor but there was no response from him. Sitting up she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and hoisted herself out of it. Running a hand through her hair she yawned and walked out of the open bedroom door. Rubbing her eyes she made her way down the hallway and through the living room to find him standing in the kitchen. Stopping at the little bar that was between the kitchen and the living room she gave him a look and rested her elbows on its surface.
"What happened?" she asked, worried he was back to being upset like he was last night. His eyes shot down to her arms then back up to her eyes. He lifted a burning cigarette to his lips and shrugged. She reached through the open space and grabbed it from his fingers, lifting it to her lips she took a drag.
"Dinner was burning." He muttered as she was returning the cigarette. Her eyes widened and she muttered, "Oh shit," before running around the wall space and into the kitchen to find he had taken the pan out and placed it on the stovetop. The contents were charred and blackened to the point that they were unrecognizable.
She felt him move behind her before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck gently.
"I love you," he muttered much to her amazement. Pulling her attention from the disaster before her she turned and kissed his cheek, placing her arms around his shoulders and gazing up at him, "but you're a terrible cook." He laughed. Amanda glared at him and hit his arm.
##
"I wish you would reconsider." John muttered as he was grabbing his coffee from Barry. They'd stopped by her work to get some coffee before making their way to John's house. Amanda was hesitant about meeting his parents but also excited; it didn't seem like anyone had ever had this mush insight into John's personal life.
"You met my mom." She retorted and thanked Barry for the coffee to which he just shook his head. Turning, they walked out of the diner and helped each other to light a cigarette.
"Your mom wasn't that bad." He said. Amanda turned her head and gave him a look.
"Really? She's nice, I'll give her that. But she's a prostitute." She said, ashamed at the disgusting truth. She'd become used to it really; but being accustomed to your mother selling herself for money never made it any easier to tell other people.
"Well we all gotta make our way somehow." He shrugged and took a sip. Amanda wound her arm around his stomach and rested her head on his bicep as they walked.
"What do you want to do after high school?" she asked, realizing they'd never covered this subject.
"What I'm doing now," He told her, "working on cars."
"That's hard work." She smiled.
"What do you want to do?" he turned it back on her. They rounded a corner and made their way down a quiet neighborhood road.
"I want to be a nurse," she told him, smiling at the prospect, "but I want to be a mom more than anything." He stiffened at that. His face went stoic and his gaze chilled at the idea of having kids. She'd hadn't said a thing about having them with him or anything so his worry was for nothing, but still… the idea made him sick to his stomach.
"Do you want kids?" she asked innocently enough.
"No." he snarled at her, "are you insane?"
Unable to contain her anger at his rudeness she muttered, "Well then use a condom next time."
"You're on birth control so I didn't see the need." He moved his arm from her shoulders and held himself at a distance.
"Okay stop," she grabbed his arm and yanked him to a halt, "one, how did you know I was on birth control? Two, I hardly see how that's relevant; you should have used a condom. And three, why are you being such a shithead about having kids? It's just a question!" his eyes widened like they always did when anything surprised him.
"I saw your pills in your backpack the first time we met and I hate using condoms." He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
"You can be such a fucking creep you know that?" she laughed angrily, "answer the last question." She told him. He looked taken aback by her demand but he answered none-the-less.
"I don't like kids." He stated simply as though that answered everything. She threw her hands up in defeat and continued forward; determined to break down this one barrier, even if she didn't succeed in any other at least she'd have this.
Flicking her cigarette onto the grass she shoved her hands into her pocket and stared straight ahead, her resolve was steely and it showed despite the torrent of emotions running rampant through her. He, more than anyone she'd ever met before, made her feel frenzied; she'd been drifting through life stoically, never becoming attached to anyone due to the knowledge that she'd be moving a year after she'd met them. Sometimes it had turned into two or three years; Las Vegas had proven to be such a case. Chicago was just supposed to be a pit stop on their non-stop road trip towards the perfect place her mother could conduct business safely and Amanda could settle down.
Then she'd met John and suddenly she'd begun feeling emotions she'd never felt before.
"We're here." He stopped her. Amanda turned and looked at the unassuming house; it looked like most others on the block save the three disassembled cars and car parts littering the front yard. There was a silver chain link fence lining the perimeter of the medium, white colored two story house.
"Let's go inside." Amanda immediately made for the gate before John caught up to her and blocked her path.
"Will you just wait a fucking second?" he snarled at her, "whatever you do just follow me and stop when I tell you to stop." He reached out and ran his fingers down her cheek gently. Leaning forward he kissed her forehead and moved his hands to grip the back of her neck almost painfully. Amanda lifted her hands and held onto his wrists, kissing his chin when he finally pulled away.
"Don't worry John." She assured him. Yanking the gate open he ushered her inside the fence perimeter and walked her to the front door which he hesitantly opened.
Amanda was thrown by the overwhelming scent of beer and cigarettes. She grabbed onto John's hand as he slowly led them through the foyer that was devoid of furniture or pictures; her mother never failed to put up Amanda's old school pictures no matter where they lived.
"I'm back!" John called out.
"Where the fuck have you been?!" a deep male voice called out and John stopped short right in front of Amanda. Reaching back he pushed her back slightly as a full beer can came flying out of the entryway to what she assumed was the living room. Some sort of sport game was blaring painfully loud from the dark room. The beer can hit the wall and exploded, judging from the previous stains it looked like commonplace for beer to be dripping down that particular area of wall.
"I have a friend here." He called out, hoping it would diffuse the usual tension.
"Bring them in." The man called out less angrily. John took Amanda's hand again, this time painfully tight, and led her into the living space that was sparsely furnished save the gigantic television that was lighting up the entire room. John's dad was sitting in a recliner facing the TV and his mom was sitting in the corner sewing.
"Dad this is Mandy." John introduced her acidly. John's dad turned slightly so he could see Amanda. He was a large, balding man with overgrown facial hair and bloodshot eyes.
He looked like John but twenty years older and seventy pounds heavier.
"Hi Mr. Bender." Amanda greeted him politely. He chuckled and turned back to the television.
"Who's she?" he asked. John ground his teeth and yanked Amanda into his arms.
"My girlfriend." He responded more venomously than before. His dad busted up laughing, leaning forward he hit his knee and finally stood. He walked over to stand in front of the pair of them and smiled disbelievingly.
"Don't lie to me you shithead; we both know you couldn't get a girl." His dad smirked and looked at Amanda, giving her a once over.
"Well he did get a girl." Amanda surprisingly piped up. Much like John, his dad's eyes widened and he smiled. John began walked away, pulling Amanda with him. His dad stood there laughing as they walked towards the stairs.
They made their way upstairs to John's room. Opening the door he rushed her in and closed it immediately, locking it.
"Happy?" he asked her acidly. Amanda looked around at John's room with its cart parts strewn about, posters littered the walls and a large bed sat in the corner. It was surprisingly clean given the state of the rest of the house.
"Very." She goaded him. He ran his hands through his hair agitatedly and went to the closet to look for clothes. She went up behind him and gently placed her hands on his back once he'd removed his jacket and shirt. He was angry and tense to the point it seemed painful. Kissing his bare skin gently she rubbed his back until he calmed down slightly and dropped his head back in frustration.
"I hate coming here." He told her. She kissed him again and rubbed her cheek along his skin in a gesture of comfort.
"I know John," she whispered, "thank you though." He turned and gave her a look like she had lost her mind.
"Why are you so happy about this?" he asked her. She placed her hands on his hips and kissed his collarbone.
"Because it feels like I know you better than anyone else." She told him honestly. He dropped his shirt and reached up to cup her face in his hands. He had to all but kneel to be able to give her a kiss but he did it none-the-less. His lips pressed against hers gently and his thumbs stroked her skin as he held her closely.
"You do." He affirmed once he pulled back. Amanda felt tears prick her eyes suddenly as a completely random thought entered her brain.
"I don't want to move." She whispered. He closed his eyes and kissed her nose before resting his forehead against hers. Moving one hand he cupped the back of her neck and exhaled loudly.
"You won't." he released her and turned back towards the closet where he grabbed an old Converse shoe box and pulled it out. Yanking her down they sat on the ground with the box between them; Amanda stared at it and John stared at her, hesitant to show her. He grabbed the edges of the box and lifted it to reveal what he'd been accumulating for five years now.
"Oh my god John…" Amanda muttered her hand flying to her mouth in an attempt to contain her surprise.
"Three thousand dollars." He told her. Leaning forward over the money he grabbed the back of her neck once more and pressed their foreheads together. Amanda reached up and held his wrists tightly as they held that pose; both breathing deeply at the unspoken prospect now burgeoning between them.
"I'm not letting you go, especially to another city," He told her, "I love you too much. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you here," he motioned towards the money, "even if it means getting a place of our own."