Hello, I'm back! Yes, it's been AGES, but you can blame the bunnies for that. However, you can thank Thor: Ragnarok for bringing them back. Even with Dark World I've been plotting, and I couldn't properly visualize how Ragnarok would be changed to fit with the change in Loki courtesy of this fic. The best answer to that, of course, is to finish this!
Half of this has been written since I finished the last chapter, but the other half was written after watching Ragnarok. I'm having to watch a Tales of the Abyss walkthrough in order to make sure I get the events correct, as it's been way too long since I've played or watched it, but that's not a big deal. It's helping me to remember a ton of details I forgot!
Warnings and disclaimer are as usual. I don't own anything, I don't want money, just please review!
Luke didn't want to leave the comforting blackness. It was warm and smelled of something familiar and soothing. Even so, the outside world didn't want to be ignored for long. His body's ache wrested him to consciousness and he groaned.
Opening his eyes did nothing for the blackness. He panicked for a second before the rest of his situation registered. There was a loud wind in his ear, kind of like the noise that he remembered from opening a window on the Tartarus before it was taken over by the God-Generals. When the weight pressing down on him shifted in time with that movement, he realized what it was.
There was someone on top of him. Another breath and that familiar scent made it click in his head. "Loki," he groaned, pushing at the taller man. He remembered Loki's unique fragrance from all the times they'd sparred back at the manor. He couldn't identify it, not even after travelling the world and experiencing things that he never would have dreamed of.
The form above him echoed his pained groan and shifted. Warm arms unwrapped from around him and set him gently against the cold ground. His tutor levered his body upright, letting in the murky purple light from their surroundings.
"Are you all right, Master Luke?" Loki's face showed only honest concern. Luke stared up at the person he'd hated for telling him the truth and couldn't help the tears that again formed in his eyes. "If you are injured, I shall summon Tear."
"No!" Luke yelped. He didn't want to see anyone. He could imagine the looks they would direct at him. Shame, annoyance, hate maybe. "I'm fine," he added softly. "What about you?"
"I am much more durable than you, Master Luke. I suffer from only a few aches. I may sport a few interestingly colored bruises for a few days, but I will live. I am more concerned for your welfare." Blue eyes scanned Luke's form in search of outward signs of damage. "We very nearly didn't make it to Tear's protective barrier in time."
Luke flexed his fingers and toes, then tensed arms and legs. There were only a few sparking pains in his joints. Shifting his chest sent stars into his eyes and he hissed in pain. "Feels like Ma-"
He choked on his words with a sudden sob. Almost speaking the name brought to mind his mentor's betrayal. "My chest hurts," he said instead, looking away from Loki. "It doesn't matter anyway. You were right. I'm just a fake."
"Regardless of whether you are the original or replica, you are you." Loki sat up fully and straddled his legs. This gave him the leverage to pull Luke upright. The movement made Luke's chest protest and he cried out in pain. He clutched at Loki's arms until he could breathe again. That only happened when he was upright and leaning into his tutor's chest for support.
"Broken ribs, by the sound of it," Loki deduced. "I know you are not feeling up to talking to our other companions, but I will not see you suffer."
He didn't want to even look at them. They'd been right about Van and right about his status as a replica. He couldn't stand the shame of disbelieving them and causing… whatever it was that happened. A part of him wanted to blame Van for tricking him, but he couldn't really believe it. He'd been warned by everyone around him that Van was up to no good.
He'd chosen to ignore the advice of everyone and blindly believe Van. He'd chosen to lure Ion down to that door in Akzeriuth. He'd even tried to follow Van's orders, but of course he'd failed in that. He wasn't even able to control his own body.
When Loki made to move, he gripped his tutor's black vest in his hands. "Please," he gasped around the pain. "Don't leave me alone."
Loki sighed. "Very well then, Master Luke. I will take you to them."
"I don't want to go," he whispered. "I don't want to see how they'll look at me."
"Then close your eyes if you must." Loki shifted position so that Luke's legs were free, then hooked his hand under those legs and cradled his back. "This will hurt," he cautioned before he lifted. He didn't even seem to have trouble with Luke's weight.
Luke bit back his cry of pain as his ribs shifted. He felt the broken ends scrape together and agreed with Loki's earlier assessment. He didn't want to look around them to see where they were. If he saw his companions, he didn't know how he'd react. Instead, he kept his eyes on Loki's shirt.
His mentor moved slowly in a vain attempt to keep from jostling his ribs. "We didn't fall far from them," Loki reported. His voice echoed through his chest and against Luke's ear. "They're just up this ridge. It looks like they're only just waking up."
Luke counted the steps Loki took as they walked to rejoin their companions. "I'm sorry," he said after about twenty.
"For what?" Loki asked. His tone of voice sounded like he knew what Luke meant, but the noble – no, the replica didn't have the strength to argue.
"For throwing you out of the group," he replied miserably. "For not listening to you. For calling you a liar."
"You are stubborn, Master Luke. I will not deny that your words hurt me, but I should have expected your reaction. I will not say that I forgive you, but I do understand."
Luke didn't protest. He didn't try to ignore the tears that rolled down his face this time. He still felt Van's betrayal like a stab to his heart. It was its own unique pain, felt between agonizing breaths. "Why would he do it?" he whispered helplessly. "He said he wanted to help."
"Asch said it best," Loki answered grimly. "You were his tool. He didn't care that he created a living being. I expect that he manipulated your feelings from the very beginning. If I were in his place, that's what I would have done." His fingers tightened on Luke's shoulder. "It is despicable of him."
"He did it on purpose," Luke summed up numbly. "He became the father that Father wouldn't be so that I would do what he wanted without asking why."
Loki didn't answer. They trekked a few more steps uphill. By this this time he could hear the voices of his companions. "If you wish to pretend to be unconscious," Loki ventured after a few moments, "I will not inform them otherwise."
"Why would I do that?" Luke asked miserably.
"If you are unconscious, you cannot speak. Therefore they will not try to engage you in conversation." Loki's shoulders shrugged slightly. "It is your choice, Master Luke."
It sounded like a good idea. Luke's ribs were hating him as much as he did right now. He slumped further into Loki's arms and sighed. "All right," he agreed as he closed his eyes.
Luckily for him, his unconsciousness wasn't faked. As soon as his eyes fell shut the darkness dragged him down again. At least, he thought faintly before fading completely, his ribs weren't hurting as badly.
The next time he awoke was associated with a sense of disorientation. He found himself looking into a mirror, but the image inside it wasn't his.
Don't start ranting at me now, Asch's mental voice grumbled at him. I dragged your mind out of that feeble thing you call a body so I could show you something, you dreck.
Put me back! Luke raged. He flexed his mental muscles against Asch but to no avail. I don't need you to tell me what I already know! I'm a stupid worthless replica.
Asch sighed. Luke started when his original raised his hand and rubbed at his eyebrow. Yes, Loki told us all about your conversation. Your ribs are healing, in case you were wondering.
That was one blessing, Luke supposed. So you already know that I might as well have died back there, he snapped. You could have had your life back. You still can, if you stick that sword of yours in my heart.
Asch scowled and turned away from the mirror. Luke saw his own body on a bed. Its breathing was still labored, but overall it looked better than could be expected. Next to the bed was Loki, his nose buried in a tome about fonic artes.
Much as I would want to do that, you can see why I can't, Asch said sourly. Besides, it seems as if the situation has finally seeped into that defective brain of yours. It's a miracle, frankly.
Luke scowled. So what do you want to show me? he asked instead of replying to the insults.
I want to show you the relationship between the two of us. You know we're replica and original. Our relationship is much more complicated than that. Since it seems like you don't believe something unless you see it, I'll show you what our relationship is. Asch turned away from Loki when the other looked up with a raised eyebrow at him. "I'm heading out," he said hotly. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"
"My place is at Master Luke's side," Loki said calmly. "Somehow I can't bring myself to find him at fault in this situation. He must take responsibility for the deaths he's caused, but the fault is ours as much as it is his."
Asch scowled. "I tried my damn best short of taking control of that defective body of his. He wouldn't listen to me. What good were you, anyway?"
"I was following him with an illusion while we traveled together to rescue Ion," Loki answered. "I watched over him." He sighed and closed his book. "All I could do in the end was save his life, and I was nearly too late for that."
Loki, Luke whispered. I knew he was watching me.
Even after you threw both of us away, he refused to give up on you, Asch spat. I knew I should have killed you. If I did, all of this would have been avoided.
Luke didn't know what to say to that.
Loki looked at Asch with that piercing gaze of his. "I made a promise to your mother, Asch. It was made in reference to Luke, it is true, but you are as much her son as he is. I swore to her that I would protect her son. You will have my aid on your journey, don't fear."
"Whatever. Do what you want. It's not of my business," Asch dismissed. "I won't be back."
Where are we going? Luke asked his original. It was still difficult to wrap his mind around that concept, but the proof was irrefutable. He'd ignored it for long enough.
Asch didn't answer. All Luke could do was settle into the back of Asch's mind and watch what came next.
While Loki remained at Luke's side, his illusion accompanied Asch. It was in this form that he visited Ortion Cavern and learned what made Asch and Luke unique as replica and original – Luke was a perfect isofon of Asch, something that was impossible in nature. It was because of this that both redheads could wield the power of hyperresonance.
To Tear, who regularly checked on Luke and mended his wounds, it would appear that Loki was meditating in a chair at Luke's side. This allowed the amnesiac to focus most of his attention on the journey.
It was only when Luke stirred that Loki dispelled his illusion. His shade warned Asch of this beforehand, but that journey appeared well on the way to being over. He felt no guilt in giving his student his full attention.
Loki opened his eyes at the sound of Luke sitting up. He regarded the noble with an impassive face. After his conversation with the teen when they first arrived in the Qliphoth, he wasn't sure how Luke was going to react. It was because of this that he decided to let the younger male lead the conversation.
Luke looked around with one hand pressed to his chest. When his eyes landed on Loki, his gaze shifted to the side guiltily. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know I said it before, but I don't know what else to say." He winced. "I was wrong."
Loki shook his head. He wondered how he could assure the teen, but his only frame of reference came from novels he wasn't sure applied to reality. In those, he would wrap Luke in a reassuring hug and whisper sweet nothings. Instead, he put a reassuring hand on Luke's shoulder.
"As far as I'm concerned, it's all said and done," Loki replied. "Now we can move forward and work towards a better future."
Luke nodded. "Akzeriuth destabilized the entire region," he said, something he should have no way of knowing. "Asch said that St. Binah's going to fall. We should…"
The teen hesitated. "We should get more information," he finished after a moment. "That's what you would do, right? See what we can do instead of going forward blindly."
Loki felt pride swell in his chest, pride and a bittersweet emotion that was as fleeting as much as it cut him. That feeling caught him off guard, but rather than dwell on it, he chose to focus on Luke. "Yes, Master Luke," he affirmed. "We should consult with those who know the mechanics behind the Sephiroth."
Luke nodded in agreement. "Is… is Tear still here?" he asked hesitantly.
The illusion master pointed outside. "She's in the garden."
Loki didn't follow them, not even as an invisible illusion. There were some things he didn't need to know. He did, however, watch through the glass. He couldn't help his surprise when he saw the flash of a knife. At first, he worried that Luke did something foolish, but then he noticed the red blowing away on the breeze.
He couldn't help his shock when Luke re-entered the building, hair easily half its previous length. Tear followed behind and went to a drawer. A bit of rummaging turned up a pair of scissors and the brunette ushered Luke into a chair.
Loki took his leave to handle hygiene issues. When he was clean, he dressed in an outfit similar to his previous. His black vest this time had gold trim and there were vines embroidered onto the sleeves of his green shirt. It was a mystery where the clothes came from, but they were clean.
During this time, he considered their next plan of attack. Luke was right, of course. With the Outer Lands that were previously supported by Akzeriuth's Sephiroth in danger, they should act quickly to either preserve the land or, at the very least, save the people who lived on it.
Hadn't that been a surprise, Loki recalled, when Ion and Tear revealed that the entirety of the world known to all but a few in the Order of Lorelei was but a shell held up by the Sephiroth. The Qliphoth was a world of dim light even at noon and utter darkness at night. The roiling mud that made up the surface of the Qliphoth would have eaten them up, too, had the Tartarus not landed nearby.
Even more surprising was the revelation that Tear was from the Qliphoth. More precisely, she grew up in the only human settlement that existed there, Yulia City. Occasionally, when things on Asch's side of things were at a low ebb, Loki chanced to send an illusion out to explore. The entire city was made of deep-red and black metal and its inhabitants dressed like they wanted to blend in.
Aside from the Tartarus riding the remains of Akzeriuth's Sephiroth back to the surface, Loki knew of another way back to the Outer Lands. He was, however, content to let Luke set the pace of their departure. The teen had undergone a horrible mental shock. Moving too quickly was sure to fracture his fragile psyche.
Thinking of Luke made Loki wonder just how Luke knew of the Qliphoth when, rightly, the redhead should have been unconscious and thus unaware. He recalled a few moments with Asch when the God-General seemed distracted. That led to him considering the bond they shared as perfect isofons. Asch could project his thoughts into Luke's head and, judging by his words before, could even control Luke's body.
Perhaps Luke had viewed Asch's journey through that bond? That would certainly explain Luke's knowledge of things he had no right to be aware of. The Qliphoth had been a major topic on their journey to Ortion Cavern. Even if Luke had been unconscious during Ion's explanation, the Fon Master went over it enough that Luke, should he be viewing events through Asch's eyes, would have picked up the details.
It would also explain why Luke hadn't regained consciousness before that journey was ended.
Loki cast those thoughts aside as he re-entered Tear's bedroom, where Luke had been resting all that time. Tear was brushing Luke's hair and scrutinizing the redhead's new haircut, presumably to ensure that it was shaped the way she wanted.
The shorter style suited Luke. The faded red in the ends of his hair was gone, leaving only the deeper red that brought out the vibrant green of his eyes. The strands framed his face, giving him a younger appearance. It was appropriate given that Luke was only seven years old.
"Luke and I were talking," Tear said, her only acknowledgement of Loki's presence. Seemingly satisfied, she set the brush aside and turned to the elder amnesiac. "Asch said St. Binah is going to fall, but we shouldn't go only on what he says."
Luke's hands clenched on his lap. "It was blindly following Van's words that led me to…" He trailed off, then squared his jaw and forged on. "It was what made me destroy Akzeriuth. Before we do anything, we need to verify our information."
"I think we should talk to my grandfather," Tear said. "He'll be able to give us information."
Once Luke assured Mieu, the only other member of their group that stayed behind, that he was alive and well, they made their way to Tear's grandfather, the mayor of Yulia City. During the walk, Luke confirmed Loki's suspicions: during Asch's sojourn to Ortion Cavern, the replica had been a silent observer in the original's head.
There, they learned of the Closed Score – the score that only high-ranking members of the Order of Lorelei knew. Luke wasn't comforted by learning that the Score foretold Azkeriuth's destruction. In fact, he was livid, and Loki couldn't blame him. How could anyone know that a disaster would happen but do nothing to stop it?
The only comfort was learning that St. Binah itself wouldn't fall. Rather, it was the battlefield that Kimlasca and Malkuth's forces would meet on that would tumble into the Qliphoth. It was armed with this knowledge that they readied themselves for the journey to the Outer Lands.
"Loki," Luke said as they walked to the portal that would take them to Padamiya. "I made this promise to Tear, and I'm going to make it to you. I'm going to change. That's what you were trying to teach me, right? You were trying to teach me to think for myself."
Loki nodded. "I wanted you to stop being dependent upon others and make decisions of your own. When I saw the hold Van held over you, I knew that it would lead to misfortune." He paused. "I did not realize the depths he would sink to. Back in Baticul, he told me you were fated to die."
Luke stopped and stared at Loki incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.
Loki's measured glare made the redhead wilt. "You already didn't trust me because of Van," he didn't quite growl. "Had I mentioned that Van intended for you to die, it would only have pushed you further away. I did take measures to stop it. Why else would I have followed you? No matter how much you believed me to be a villain, I promised your mother that I would protect you."
Luke looked sheepish and he turned away. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.
Loki patted Luke's shoulder. "You had no way of knowing. What's done is done. You have promised to change, and I will guide you on your journey. I am still your tutor, first and foremost." When Luke shot him a surprised look, he smiled. "After all this time, I would hope I earned the privilege of being called your friend as well."
That earned him a genuine smile in return. It lasted through the journey to the Outer Lands and the reunion with Guy, who had departed from Asch's group so he could wait for Luke's return. Guy affirmed that it didn't matter that Luke was a replica when the redhead tried to dismiss his own existence. Having another call Luke his friend seemed to bring the replica further out of his depressive state.
Loki wanted to hug Guy for that but held off. Bringing attention to Luke would only embarrass him. Instead, he trailed behind to watch for monsters and settled for listening to the old friends banter.
He was jealous a bit. As much as Luke looked to him, his charge had known Guy longer and so was naturally closer to him. Loki tried not to let it bother him – it was only natural to have stronger bonds with friends one knew for longer.
When Luke invited him forward into the conversation (and the teasing, and the serious talk), he felt warmth deep in his heart. It filled the emptiness from his loss of memories. It was just like Luke had said, if what Guy remembered was correct. There was no point in looking back at what he'd lost. He could make new memories and render his amnesia powerless over him.
The happy mood was spoiled by Jade, who waited for them outside of the cavern they traveled through. Upon learning that Ion and Natalia were in Mohs' hands and Kimlasca was gearing up for a war, it was an easy decision to rescue them.
If the Malkuth soldier kept making snide comments about Luke, however, Loki was going to do something drastic. A knife to the back would make him feel better, but it would reduce their fighting ability to an unacceptable degree. Loki spent the trip to Daath contemplating all of the ways he could make Jade eat his words. Perhaps a cake iced with those words and shoved down Jade's throat would do the trick.
It was a simple matter to reach the deepest parts of the Oracle Knights' headquarters to rescue their missing friends. After a quick discussion, they decided it was best to seek out the emperor of Malkuth, as it was his territory that was on the brink of destruction.
However, a malfunction in the Tartarus' engine forced them to make port in the snowy city of Keterburg. While everyone else complained of the cold, Loki felt quite comfortable in the chill. He chalked it up to being not of this world – perhaps his people, in addition to being gifted with superhuman strength and durability, were also more resistant to elemental extremes.
He hoped they would find the Sword Dancer again soon. Even if he wasn't interested in his memories, it would be nice to know something of his homeland.
Sorry for leaving it here, but I need to sleep and watch more of a walkthrough before I decide where to go from here - that is, how much to rewrite from Loki's perspective and with his influence. I'm thinking that I can skip Keterburg and Theor forest, so we may pick up next time in Grand Chokmah. Until then, please review!