I OWN NOTHING! ALL THE CHARACTERS AND SUCH ARE THE GENIUS OF STEPHENIE MEYERS!
Chapter ten- Love is the slowest form of suicide
"The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you."-Anonymous
"Bella? Baby you've got to get up. Please Bella, you need to get up." Charlie pleaded with me for the numberless time. He kneeled by my head holding my non broken arm. His voice cracked with pain when he talked to me know. No matter what he said I could hear the way he was hurting. He stared at me while I stared at the ceiling. I couldn't care about his pain right now, I was too busy drowning in mine. He took the untouched plate off food away and with a sad look back at me he left me alone again.
But that's how I liked it now. Alone in the darkness. Darkness is nice. Darkness is comforting. Darkness covered everything. It doesn't discriminate like the sun does. The sun shines on what it wants leaving shadows to show the grass under a tree or the dirt beneath a rock it wasn't good enough to have the warmth. The grass knows that to be ignored by the sun long enough means its death, but the sun doesn't care. Cruel spiteful glowing orb, he had been my sun. He had shone on me and had cleared away the darkness. He had convinced me the dark was bad; monsters could hide in the dark. But now I knew monsters preferred the sun and the darkness is nothing to fear. Darkness is nice. Darkness is comforting.
I lay in my bed staring into the darkness. I knew with out looking at my clock the sun would come out soon to take my lovely darkness from me. I sneered at the stupid cruel sun and whispered "Curtain's. Take that."
I don't know how long I've been in bed. I don't really care. Charlie would check on me in disorganized increments. I remember there being food shoved into my face at different times, but I neither remember what the food was or actually eating any of it. I looked down at the pajamas someone must have dressed me in. I closed my eyes and held my breath until I felt the sharp ache in my chest the nuisance that told me the offensive truth, I was still alive.
In the total silence I marveled at the loyal beating sound of my heart. I had placed my hand over the spot where it hide in my sunken chest at the point where it hit the hardest. Each thump was an unexplainable phenomenon, there was nothing there. My heart was gone. So when would the phantom beating stop? Well, not all gone, when he had left me in the hospital he had ripped it from my chest with a tug of his razor-sharp words. Unfortunately it had not been a clean cut I could still feel the tiny pieces he had left behind, the little scraps that had faithfully clung to my torn apart chest. I didn't understand why? A drop of water could never quench a dehydrated man. A scrap of bread would never feed a starving man. And the minuscule remainders of a broken heart could never love again.
The tears I fought naively against poured down my cheeks, my eyes were so dry from the consent flow of my liquid sorrow the water felt more like acid then tears. I scrubbed my already raw skin viciously with the back of my hand. When would the pain stop? How could someone with such little lingering heart feel so much pain? Did he leave behind the hopeless pieces just to hurt me even more? Now that I wasn't good enough for him he didn't want me to be good enough for anyone? Unable to ever love anyone in any possible way for the rest of my pitiful human life.
The thought had me chocking on wicked laughter. He didn't even care about me that much. He wanted me to move on. He wanted me to find someone of my status, someone like mike. Someone uninteresting, unimportant, someone who would never do anything of any real significance. I would grow old and die and no one would remember me for anything more then I had once been loved by the amazing Edward Cullen, but they would be wrong. He didn't love me, he never did. I was just a convenient play thing with cool accessories that he understandably grew bored of and tossed away to eagerly find something new to amuse himself with.
I sighed a bleak smile touched my lips as thinking his name pushed my weary mind over the edge and the exhaustion finally found then thrust me into a new brilliant long-awaited darkness.
I UPDATED AGAIN! I finished this chapter almost the same time i finished the last and the next chapter is pretty much done! I am wearing my keyboard out! lol! I felt so bad for leaving the story for so long and i forgot how much i love this story! So most likely another update soon. Please don't forget about the Who should Bella choose poll. What's going on Jacob lovers? Edward is burning up the poll! I'm not sure how many chapters this story will be so i can't be sure when i will close the poll. So please vote and remember if i reach 150 comments before the poll ends i will write an ending for each choice! Thank you for reading! Please comment or ask any questions you may have! Bye till next time!