Disclaimer: "Hogan's Heroes" and associated characters and situations of CBS, all used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.
-o0O0o-
"Training Program"
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
-o0O0o-
"I can't stand it... I just can't stand it," Colonel Robert Hogan, U.S. Army Air Corps stood in the underground radio room of the operation he commanded deep inside Germany and shook his head in annoyance.
"Well, what can't you stand, Colonel?" Sergeant James 'Kinch' Kinchloe asked.
"We've got a smooth operation going here, processing escaped P.O.W.s and moving them back to England, gathering intelligence on anything we can that the Germans are doing, working with local Underground cells and even some sabotage on the side, right?"
"Okay, so we keep busy, why can't you stand it?"
"That I can stand," Hogan answered, picking up a pad of paper from the desk that the radio sat on and holding it out to Kinch, "This I can't stand. I just can't stand it."
Kinch looked over what was written on the paper he'd just been handed, frowned, then looked it over again, "Colonel... tell me this doesn't say what I think it says."
"Sorry, Kinch," Hogan grumbled, "It definitely says what you think it says - from General Butler's lips to my ears. Everything we're doing and it's just not enough for them; London basically wants us to start an apprenticeship program while we're at it... I just can't stand it..."
"Apprenticeship program?" Kinch asked in surprise, "You mean like training men and sending them out to other camps to start more 'branch offices' for London?"
"Among other things, yes," Hogan shook his head, "What do they think this is, the 'University of Germany at Luftstalag Thirteen'?"
"Well, if we need a sports mascot, we can always use old Schultz," Kinch kidded, trying to lighten the mood, "Of course, we'd have to pay him in strudel."
"The 'Stalag Thirteen Sergeants'? Kinch, you need a vacation."
"Sure, I can hitch a ride with the next German general we get transferred to the Russian front and have myself a nice sking holiday."
Hogan took the paper back and crumpled it up, "Sure, and if it happens before London's new 'student' gets here, I might go myself."
-o0O0o-
Author's Note: This was originally meant to be the beginning for a larger story, but that story failed to go anywhere. Considering how 'complete' this part was compared to the rest that was little more than an outline, I didn't want to drop it with the rest, so I'm posting it as a standalone short.