Because of You

Hey Bianca,

It's me, Nico. I just want to say that I'm not gonna make the same mistakes that you did. I'm not going to go from one guy to the next. I'm not going to breakdown every time I get dumped. I'm not going to do any of that. I'm enjoying having Hazel as a sister more than you.

But I thought you should know because of you I never walk in the road. I'm always on the sidewalk. I don't go too far from it. I never let my feelings out to whoever I'm dating because I've seen how it affects relationships. You've made me doubt myself and everyone else, that I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone else too. Because of you, I'm afraid of everything.

Every time I strayed from whatever religion you were forcing me to experience with you, you pointed it out. And I can't cry anymore after knowing what you did to me. Making me cry just to taunt and jeer at me. You've broken me so many times…I'm forced to fake a smile and a laugh every day. When I get broken up with for my 'lack of emotion', I'm unfazed. My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't whole to start with.

I taught Hazel all of this too. Unintentionally of course. I wouldn't want her to become another you…or me. You should feel ashamed though. Our little sister is becoming a horrible person. She barely smiles and doesn't even laugh anymore. I'm sick to the stomach knowing it's my fault.

When we lived in Italy, I watched you get high and die a little. Every night I heard you cry yourself to sleep. I was nine! You should've known better than to lean on me! Why didn't you go to anyone else? You only saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing!

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you, I try my hardest to forget everything; I don't know how to let anyone else in. I'm ashamed of my life because it's hollow and void of anything. I'm afraid to go to dances, to date, to do anything! Because of you…because of you.

Love from your ever so loyal brother,

Nico.

P.S. I hope New York is good to you. Bye.

This was for uracow99. I hope you liked it! This wasn't DiAngecest. This was Bi being a druggie and other crap. I didn't really like doing this because I love the DiAngelos but I hope you all enjoyed it!