Greg was becoming frustrated always in need of help even to use the bathroom. He was still too weak and in too much pain to do it on his own though. It had only been 5 days since he had been in the hospital, but he was growing extremely restless staying in one position in bed and not being able to move much without pain shooting through his back. This was definitely worse than when he was burned in the lab explosion.
He did not get visitors as much anymore since they all had work to do. When they did come by, they did not stay long.
He talked to his parents on the phone but did not tell them what happened to him or that he was in the hospital. He knew they would never let him get out of their sight again. He loved them dearly but they were still too overprotective of him, even though he was a grown man now.
He tried reading a book Sara had brought him but he just could not get into it. He would watch the television once in awhile, mostly news programs. He had not asked anyone about how the case was going, just as no one else asked him about what happened in that room since he last talked to Brass about it. There was a part of him that wanted to know if they had discovered the motive behind the killings, but the part of him that wanted to forget about it all together won out.
Nurse Wade came in with his dinner tray. She helped him sit up on the side of the bed and put the tray on the table in front of him. She gave him a stern look. "You need to eat tonight, no excuses."
He had not been eating much since they started giving him food to eat. He had no appetite and would sometimes throw up what he did eat.
He just rolled his eyes at the older woman.
"You'll never get your strength back if you do not eat."
"Fine, I will do my best." She left him be to eat his meal. It was ham with mashed potatoes and some red Jell-O. He just stared at it for the longest time before attempting to eat it.
He was picking at his mashed potatoes when Catherine came in. She was surprised to see him sitting up in bed.
"Hey Greg! Sorry they didn't tell me you were eating. I can come back later."
He looked up, grateful someone was there to distract him from his inability to eat anything.
"Hey no problem. I am not really that hungry anyways."
She looked at his tray of food. It looked like he only ate some mashed potatoes, but everything else looked untouched.
"Hospital food never is that appetizing, is it," she smiled at him. She noticed he did not smile back. He seemed very glum today.
"Yeah, it's not," he said quietly.
"Maybe I could sneak in some real food for you sometime."
"Yeah maybe," he said with no enthusiasm.
Catherine pulled up the chair to his bed. "What's wrong, Greg?" She was very concerned about him.
He raised his eyes to hers. A rare sadness showed in them. "I hate this, I really hate this."
She was not getting what he was exactly referring to. "What are you talking about Greg?"
He sighed, pushing his tray away angrily. "Just everything. Feeling helpless, being bored out of my mind here, the constant pain, everyone coming in to visit me walking around on pins and needles." He saw Catherine's surprised expression and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be dumping on you. You just happened to come at a bad time."
Catherine felt her heart tug at the emotion in his eyes. She reached her hand out and put it on his knee. "Greg, you have every right to feel the way you do."
He pushed her hand away. "Don't. Not now."
She was puzzled now. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to…"
"Coddle me? Is that what you were going to say?" His eyes showed anger now.
"I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought I would let you know someone is here for you." She exclaimed in defense.
"Yeah well you can't make the pain go away now, can you?" He said defiantly.
She was not sure how to respond to him. She did not know but something must have happened today to him that she was unaware of. That or just everything was suddenly getting to him.
"No Greg, I can't make the pain go away, but it will if you give it time."
"Yeah time, I got plenty of that now. But see the thing is it never really completely disappears. If it's not the pain itself, it is the memories of it."
"Are you having nightmares," she asked him cautiously.
"Would you care if I was? I mean no one cared before really. Everyone basically thought I was doing fine after I got beat up. Nobody seemed to really notice I wasn't sleeping at night. Oh and remember that explosion I was in? Oh yeah, you would, you caused it."
Catherine felt like she had just been hit in the gut. She was speechless.
Greg continued on his angry rant. "Yeah that!" He expressed at her mouth being agape. "No one ever asked me how I was dealing with that aftermath. Grissom only showed concern when he saw me shaking. You did not even notice when you asked me to run that paternity test for you. 'Crazy, goofy Greg will be fine no need to worry about him. He'll bounce back like he always does.' Well maybe not this time. Maybe this time he does not want to act like everything is okay!"
He was visibly shaking from the anger inside him and pain he was in. Catherine did not know what to say. She really just wanted to run out and cry. She was trying desperately to keep her emotions in.
His nurse came back into the room. She saw his tray of food hardly touched once again.
"Mr. Sanders, you promised me you would eat tonight."
Greg glared at her, his eyes dark. "So I lied, sue me. You would not be the first one to. Oh and I am sure they would settle out of court for you too. Who cares about someone who gets hurt on the job, not LVPD."
Nurse Wade was use to patients being angry at times. "We can force feed you if we have too." She then noticed he was shaking.
She glanced over at his visitor and noticed she seemed upset. She decided visiting hours were over.
"Um, Ms. Willows is it? I think visiting hours are about over. He needs to rest so if you do not mind." She motioned towards the door.
Catherine broke out of her shocked trance from staring at Greg, who did not look at her again. "Yeah sure." She got up and simply left the room without saying another word to Greg.
Nurse Wade looked at her patient who suddenly seemed very pale again. "Let me help you lie back down in bed." She came over to him and he pushed her off slightly.
"I can lay down myself for Pete's sake." He started to shift to bring his legs back into bed. He cursed out loud from the pain it caused him, but managed to do it himself. But once he was lying back down he felt completely worn out and like a total asshole. He lost it finally. Catherine was only trying to help him and he practically blamed her for everything. He would never forgive himself for making her feel the way he knew she had to be feeling now. He hated one more thing now, himself.
Catherine walked in a daze out of the hospital and to her car. It was not until she was in her car that she started crying. She sat in her car in the parking garage for at least 15 minutes before she finally wiped the tears from her eyes and headed to work.
She had to pull herself together before heading back for her first full shift since the incident. This was not how she imagined the evening starting out. She would not tell anyone about what happened though. It was between her and Greg now.
She drove to the lab, hoping to forget for a while what just happened.