Harry Potter, Life's A Prophecy
Chapter 11
Castle of Chaos
Part 1
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, his friends and his world are all owned by J.K. Rowling
Chapter Beta'd by: RPMcMurphy from 'Perfect Imagination
Thirty minutes before they were to go down to breakfast, Harry rose from his chair and ascended the dormitory staircase to wake up the remaining Marauders so that they could all go to breakfast together.
He didn't worry about the fact that they would most likely be the first to enter the hall, nor did he care that the professors would be suspicious of them even before the pranks started. They just didn't want to miss any of the fun. As far as the Marauders were concerned, this time, they would be found out no matter what happened.
In fact, for once all cards were going to be openly laid out, completely visible onto the table, for all to see. This time they wanted to be found out… How else were they going to go into history for the pranks, the pranks of all pranks, the prank which crippled Hogwarts and brought it to its knees, otherwise?
As for Harry, he too would go down into history, most likely as the one known as the 'Master of Chaos', the one who lead the Marauders in their devilish plans, though that remained to be seen. For now, at least, the dear professors didn't know that he had joined them… yet.
Sure, they would later on, but not until then…or at least not until after the first prank.
One thing Harry was sure of, no matter what was going to happen today: he could hardly wait to see Fred's and George's faces when he got back.
In waking up James he tried shaking him first, but it soon became clear that he needed extra help; Harry started to tickle his feet… with a feather, not just any old feather, but one which was charmed for extra discomfort and that extra little itch.
That got James's attention pretty quickly and a second later both dorm mates were wrestling across the dormitory floor.
The resulting racket soon woke up the rest and it didn't take long before they too joined into the fun, choosing sides with James when it became clear that it had been Harry's fault that they had all been woken up.
Harry decided to play along with everybody, using Strength Charms to give him that extra edge over his opponents, but he went easy on them and even let them win, which caused great cheers from the victors as until then Harry was supposedly unbeatable.
Harry knew they did not fully remember what happened last night and for that he was happy.
He knew that as far as they could remember, they had successfully completed their preparations during the night, without Peter, who, according to them, had left earlier during the last evening to go home for some unfortunate yet very urgent family business… a death.
Little did they know it was his death.
Rather unfortunate, indeed, but that was how it had been. If only that were true.
Harry was going to do his best to join into the fun today, which wouldn't really be that difficult seeing that he didn't really care that Peter had died anyway... merely for the fact that he had to kill him.
Now that Peter was out of the way, he was more than happy just to forget about him…no harm done. However, that was not to be…yet.
He had put Peter in his dead rat form into a safe place until everything was over, at which time he would retrieve him …and sadly ruin all the fun with the sad news that Peter had been 'accidentally' killed while in his rat form by Mrs. Kitty, the caretaker's pet kneazel cat… again.
The fact that Harry had certain evidence, which pointed his death towards the caretaker's cat, worked for him. Until then he would keep Peter's dead body, hidden, in a deep stasis so that his body wouldn't get older…or else it might become fishy…
After that all he could do was wait and hope.
After tonight the headmaster would know about the Marauders' Animagi forms...but…once again, Harry knew that too had to be done. His future…
no, everybody's future, depended on it.
It didn't take long and the remaining four Marauders left the Dragon dorm to go to the hall for breakfast. It was clear that they were very nervous with anticipation.
James warned them though to at least try to act normal: the last thing they wanted was for the headmaster to 'smell a rat' and call off breakfast, though Harry mused that the old coot would most likely turn a blind eye just to see the fun and amuse himself. Harry was sure that their esteemed headmaster was in reality a prankster at heart.
The real danger would therefore come from the other professors, like the stern McGonagall or most likely the trouble-loving Thornton (not the old coot with the grey beard, outrageous twinkle, and the dim-witted smile), who would just love to find something to take points away for … or worse.
Before leaving the dorms, Harry risked a look at the common room table and noticed that Peter's name had disappeared from the table. His label now read 'Lily Evans (HG)'
That was the last evidence Harry needed: Peter was finally truly dead and history had been irrecoverably changed.
Harry was amused to see that James was now sitting right beside her.
Good, Harry thought, pleased with the new seating arrangements.
The closer James got to Lily the better the chances were that they would get together and that was directly what Harry wanted.
The Marauders entered the hall and immediately made their way directly to the Gryffindor table.
They noticed that they were not alone. Peeves was already present, hovering over the table eyeing them mysteriously.
Oddly enough he did not do anything when they sat down. Instead he gave them a grin and even passed Harry some toast before saluting him, military style.
Harry just thanked him with an identical salute of his own before giving him a nod and a smile before leaning back in his seat.
Then, taking a moment to look around the hall, he started to laugh.
The stares he and Peeves were receiving from the other Marauders and others who were already in the hall were absolutely priceless.
Everybody was gaping at Peeves. They didn't know what to think.
Peeves had never ever obeyed anybody before, except the Bloody Baron, or perhaps on occasion the headmaster, but even that was rare. That he would go as far as to salute someone…like an equal or above...
At the staff table the few early risers started to twitch nervously.
Harry though, knew why Peeves wasn't doing anything.
Harry knew that Peeves knew what the others, besides the other Marauders, didn't know, namely what the Marauders had been doing the whole night, and Peeves had solemnly promised not to tell anybody about it.
What for! It was common knowledge that Peeves loved chaos…and that was just what he was going to get for the whole day… complete and utter chaos.
That and the fact that Harry was using his powers as a founders heir and had specifically ordered Peeves not to do anything which could ruin everything, at least until the pranks had visually started had been enough to ensure complete obedience from the poltergeist.
The last few minutes before chaos ticked away, and the hall began to fill up.
The professors who were present tried to ignore a quiet Peeves, which was indeed a strange sight as he would usually have been ejected out of the hall by now for starting a food fight or something similar.
There were after all reasons why he wasn't usually allowed into the hall.
A quiet Peeves was just plain wrong.
This morning, however, he seemed to be oddly complacent. That alone spelled trouble, major trouble.
Because of him everybody seemed to be jerky that morning. It seemed clear that something was about to happen…they weren't to be disappointed… as it did:
With what felt like a massive earthquake Hogwarts began to shake, a huge bang sounded and with a blinding blast of light, the hall lit up.
Many students were beginning to panic as a table overturned, then just as suddenly multiple professors, who had been becoming increasingly white-faced, groaned out in complete misery as they realised what was happening. At the same time, Peeves had started to cackle in delight.
Just as suddenly as the flash had come and gone, words began to glow and appear in the air:
The Marauders are proud to present:
DOOMS DAY…the day Hogwarts got Pranked!!
For the rest of the day enjoy our vast array of pranks…
Don't bother fighting them, resistance is futile…trust us, we know.
There are just too many of them anyway, it's sure to become the grandest show.
Today we are going to have ourselves a real good time.
Today Hogwarts will feel alive.
As we are going to turn Hogwarts inside out and float around in complete ecstasy.
Today we will defy the rules of gravity,
And introduce the laws of insanity,
Prepare to be PRANKED!!...
There is no stopping us, so just sit back and enjoy yourselves.
If that's even possible we leave up to you.
Hell sends its regards!
Now let's make it so!!
Yours mischievously,
The Marauders:
Prongs
Padfoot woof woof
Moony
Wormtail
And
DOOM!!
"Who is Doom," asked most of the hall, some looking at the known Marauders in complete fear as music started to play from all four corners of the hall.
At the Slytherin table, its members were petrified in anticipation and fear. Must notable amongst them was a greasy haired student named Severus Snape, who had his face buried in his hands. His skin and hair was constantly changing from one colour to the next in a vast array of different colours.
…then with a series of pops, bangs, chimes, and a colourful display of flashes the rest of the pranks activated:
A new message appeared in the air:
The Pranks are now armed...enjoy!
That this was no normal prank became clear at once. A second later, one by one, the hall burst out into full scale panic as the 'Twelve Days of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me' song started to play.
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.
With a cry of alarm, Snape slowly started to change form and morph into a human pear tree, complete with fresh ripe (though un-edible and hard) pears, a partridge nesting on his head, and a branch sticking out of his nose which twirled around to poke him in one of his wooden eyes, right in front of everybody else's, which caused the rest of the Slytherins in the hall to completely freak out as some started to knock over more tables and chairs in complete panic.
Food started to roll across the floor as they all tried to head towards the Great Hall doors to get out, stumbling and sliding on the food along the way.
However, before they could reach the doors they closed with a bang and wouldn't open anymore.
James looked at Harry and quietly gave him a look which clearly asked him what had just happened.
Harry just whispered that he had used a very advanced spell and that the doors would not open for anybody until after the prank.
In reality though, Harry was using his powers as the heir of Gryffindor to order the castle to keep the doors locked. Only the headmaster had even the slightest chance to open it now and he stayed quiet, sitting in his chair.
With nearly everybody in the hall, there were more than enough people around to enjoy the pranks.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Again two more Slytherins started to change, this time into two turtle doves.
Some of the pro-Slytherin professors were at this point racing towards the transformed Slytherins and trying to transform them back, but with little effect. Not the headmaster though, he stayed quiet and continued to watch the show.
No matter what spells they tried, nothing seemed to work against Harry's own completely advanced, out-of-this-world spellwork.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Again a few students, this time from Ravenclaw, started to transform, noticeably into three French hens.
When it became evident that nobody seemed to be safe, the rest of the students in the hall started to panic and tried to rush to the hall doors only to find that they too couldn't open them.
Only the Gryffindors stayed half way quiet.
They had learned a long time ago that when the Marauders wanted to prank somebody they got their wish, and running away didn't help at all.
Some of the Gryffindor Muggle-borns who knew of the song even tried to relax and enjoy the show as two of the French hens had even started to squawk in French.
« Mon Dieu » ! Vous regarder... vous êtes une poule
Que ! Oh... cela est vrai
Oh bien... Cela est la vie
Gryffindors sanglants
Maraudeurs sanglants
Les aussi !
Les directeurs une tête de dick
Oui oui cela aussi
Despite their efforts, it was clear they too were very nervous. It would be a gamble when they would transform …and then into what.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
This time it was some of the Hufflepuffs who changed. From different areas of the room four of them turned into four calling birds. It really seemed to be completely random who from each table turned when it reached your house.
Dumbledore shrugged and took the moment to conjure himself some popcorn, which he started to eat.
Everybody looked at him in complete surprise and some in dismay as Dumbledore waved his wand and popcorn started to appear at the house tables too.
"What? ...I might as well enjoy it if I can't stop it," he said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
The rest of the professors just stared at him. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. Dumbledore just shrugged once more as if he didn't have a care in the world, he just continued to sit back and started to eat.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Five pre-chosen Gryffindor girls changed into five marked golden rings, with miniature noses and mouths (so that they could still breathe) and with huge grins on their faces the four remaining Marauders each took one and placed them on their fingers.
One was supposed to have been for Peter, but as he wasn't there anymore to claim it Sirius gladly took that one too.
He was hoping for some fun that night. Double the luck, double the fun. With a loud voice Sirius cheekily exclaimed that they would be claiming these girls as his own for the day.
This only made some of the girls break out into even more panic, while others stared at the rings with jealousy. It was clear some of them would have preferred this transformation over another…at least they got to be with three of the most heavily sought Gryffindors…no…male students of the school. Harry was by far the first, Sirius came in second, while James had the third place.
Even though Harry had tried to stop him, James had claimed Lily as his own. He had been keeping an eye on her before she transformed. They would have to deal with her wrath later on.
With a big grin on his face James leaned in to kiss the ring...only to jerk back a second later.
"She bit me!" he exclaimed.
"She likes you," said Sirius.
"That too," James agreed.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
When everybody heard this, the six girls who were randomly chosen to transform in the hall (this time it was completely random), cried out in horror as they transformed to find themselves laying one egg each. (Harry had taken the song literally.)
Seeing this, Minerva McGonagall gaped while quite a few students gasped in horror. She thought she knew her subject, transfiguration, but this made her open her eyes and squawk…er…gawk in complete surprise.
How can …how is it…possible…they layed eggs! she thought, completely mesmerized as it happened.
"What extraordinary transfiguration," she whispered, totally shocked.
She still couldn't fully believe it. This was beyond anything she could even do, and she held a master-ship in the subject.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
A pond appeared in a free area of the hall as seven more students transformed into seven swans. With an invisible force they were pushed inside.
James, Sirius, and Remus looked at Harry and gaped once more. "How the hell did you?" Remus asked. The rest didn't find the strength to say anything at all. The more they saw, the more surprised and in awe of Harry's spell work they became.
Minerva, still shaking from the previous transformation simply sat down and conjured herself a brandy.
Harry just raised his eyebrows and smiled. With his right hand he reached out to take some more popcorn.
He knew he was laying it on a bit thick...but at that moment he just didn't care.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Some of the Muggle-borns who knew of the song had been waiting for this part and became very nervous as the next verse sounded out across the hall.
As soon as they heard the last few words, eight Slytherin girls turned into maids.
At first the Gryffindors seemed unhappy that they were left off easy and most of the transformed Slytherins breathed thankful sighs of relief that it wasn't any worse, all facts considered, but then the unthinkable happened: Harry grinned viciously as eight more Slytherins turned into cows to complement the milking maidens. They were then forced, in complete humiliation, to start milking these cows with what looked like the Imperious Curse.
However, Harry didn't use the Unforgivable; instead he had chosen to use one of his unknown Grey magic curses. One which he was sure would be joining that list after tonight.
Once more pandemonium reigned through the hall as horrified students once again attempted to find a way out of the hall, this time by force.
Most of the Professors who had already resigned themselves to the inevitable also jumped up and looked across the hall at the Marauders, wands raised.
James, Sirius, and Remus looked at Harry and gave him horrified looks.
Had he gone too far?
Harry, however, just smiled back, held up his wand and swore an Unbreakable Oath:
"I swear on my life and magic that contrary to what you may think, that was not the Imperious Curse nor in fact any Dark magic."
Harry had never been happier that it had in fact been Grey magic instead…the border line between Light and Dark.
Hearing this, the professors put away their wands again, but they continued to send accusing glances towards the Marauders.
Dumbledore was watching the show with twinkling eyes. He had conjured himself a cocktail to complement the pop corn and was giddily watching the show. It was clear he was really enjoying himself. The rest of the professors continued to stare at him in horror.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
The robes of nine of the prettiest Ravenclaw girls changed and transformed into nine strippers outfits, much to their complete horror, though everybody soon noticed that there were multiple censorship charms all over them and so they became the nine dancing ladies.
"Awww! Did you have to censor them?" asked Sirius suddenly out loud and immediately wished he hadn't, as Professor McGonagall quickly screamed: "Thirty poi…er….three weeks detention on top of your other punishments for these pranks."
Sirius winced and even had the decency to apologise when most of the females in the hall glared at him for his comment.
Harry, however, had received a few glances of gratitude.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
With a flash ten Huffepuff boys started to grow and transform into ten leaping lords.
For some reason they couldn't stop leaping around the hall and kept throwing annoyed glances towards the Marauders, who all took the moment to wave back.
Harry clapped his hands and the nine dancing Ravenclaw strippers began to dance with the ten leaping lords. It really was a funny sight to behold.
Seeing this, the hall burst out into laughter.
The professors tried to keep straight faces but failed.
Filius Flitwick, the Charms professor, even fell off his stool with a high pitched squeak and was merrily laughing on the ground.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Knowing that they were next, the Gryffindor table braced themselves.
Everybody held their breath as eleven more students turned into eleven pipers.
Harry chose this moment to include the Marauders into the act and so he also transformed.
James, Sirius, and Remus cried out in surprise as they transformed. They clearly had not been expecting this but soon joined into the laughter and began to play on the pipes which they had received.
The hall, which had calmed down during the last few transformations, began to clap and sing along with the music.
The Marauders seemed to have been forgiven for the prank…by most.
"Never thought I had it in me to be a musician," said James out loud between breaths as he was playing.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!
The song started to play out for the last time and everybody was waiting with high expectations to see who would be transforming this time.
With a huge flash of light every professor had a drum and the staff table had disappeared.
Most of them groaned and tried to put their drums away but every time they tried to, new drums appeared to replace the old ones. Giving in and accepting defeat, most of the professors started to drum, though some like Thornton blatantly refused to and just glared angrily across the hall. Realising this, her drum sticks began to hover over her head and started to pound her instead.
Dumbledore, however, started to play and did so with gusto as he attempted to play a fast beat version of the same Christmas song, changing to the school song later on. To his surprise and that of the school's he found that he was quite good at it.
"I really must get myself a drum," he said out loud, which made the other professors to cry out in complete alarm.
At last the song came to an end and everybody turned back to normal. Everybody started to clap and cheer loudly, some were even sad that the show was over. James was simply sad that Lily had changed back too. The door to freedom had been forgotten.
Dumbledore even asked if he could have the drums back (after they had disappeared), which made everybody laugh again, although Minerva threatened him fiercely to-not-dare-or-else…
Dumbledore seamed to shrink away from her but Harry who was finding it funny complied which caused Minerva to groan in dismay.
All in all, the hall had mixed feelings and soon everybody was back to normal again.
As soon as Lily turned back to her normal self, she gave James a vicious slap across the face, which turned beet red, and glared at the other Marauders (except Harry, whom she looked at with a small amount of pity a huge amount of wonder and even some affection…though only Harry realised it with slight unease) before she sat back down at the far end of the Gryffindor table, red-faced and as far away from James as possible.
The other Marauders winced and kept quiet.
It was not a pretty sight.
The other girls, however, chose to sit beside their remaining Marauder, much to the delight of one Sirius Black (who had two.)
Harry's was a cute little brown haired witch who seemed delighted that he had chosen her and decided to snuggle into him. Too bad she was born twenty years too early for him. He might have taken her otherwise.
The hall had finally quieted down again and the Marauders stood up to bow. James was tenderly holding his bruised cheek but was otherwise happy.
Immediately the whole hall fell silent.
Dumbledore looked across the hall at him and started to shake his head. "I should have known it would have been you," he said in a warm voice. "So you're the infamous Doom."
It wasn't a question but a statement.
Harry gave a small nod, and was surprised by the looks of awe and in the case of the girls, complete lust, he was receiving.
Did pranking make you more desirable? he asked himself as he looked around the hall.
It was clear from the way he looked that Dumbledore wasn't angry. On the contrary, his twinkle suggested that he had never enjoyed himself so much, in fact, that he was even willing to award points for the entertainment, much to some people's disgust; however, seeing that there was no house to award points to, he could not.
"I trust these marvellous pranks will not interfere with classes?" he asked, looking at each of the Marauders in turn.
James, Sirius, and Remus looked at Harry as if asking him the same question. What had just happened a few moments ago had been more than they had ever expected.
"Yes and no," said Harry with a cheeky smile, which turned into a grin as he saw a frown appearing across the headmaster's face.
"You wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Herbology has been cancelled this morning," he asked, giving Harry a sharp look
Harry tried to look nonplussed. "Herbology?...no…not that that I know of…why, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing much…the plants have been acting a little strangely…nothing else …back to the question though…" answered Dumbledore
"Oh, er… we will try to limit our pranks to outside of the usual class timetable but there is always the chance that some may accidentally extend into a classroom," said Harry, happy to divert away from Herbology…that was supposed to have happened later on.
Harry was thinking about his special weapon when he said that, as he was pretty sure that it would influence classes, though it wouldn't make a difference when it happened, as he was pretty sure the professors would be very happy, actually more than happy, to ignore it when it did happen.
At least for the day.
"Hmm…I see," said Dumbledore and once again he was disappointed that he couldn't use Legilimency on this enigma of a student. The encounter in his office had convinced him otherwise.
"Well…we shall see, I will decide on appropriate repercussions at the end of the day…for now though…classes await…off you trot….," he spoke to the hall with a resigned sigh.
From that moment he knew it was going to be a long day…a long day indeed.
"Now… If you would be willing to opening the doors," he said, motioning the Marauders to proceed.
Harry nodded and waved his hands as he willed the doors to open.
Once out in the corridors James and Sirius decided to stick with Harry as they made their way to their first class. Remus, on the other hand said he had to go to the library; he had somehow forgotten to set up a prank and hoped that he could still do it.
Harry offered to help but Remus was adamant that he had to do it himself.
Harry shrugged and let him go. One look into the werewolf's mind told him that it would be worthwhile.
"So Harry…what's next….don't tell me that was that all you did last night?" asked James as they neared the Divination tower for their first class that day, Divination. "I mean that was great…more than great…extraordinary…over exceeded expectations…"
Harry held his hand up and silenced his friend and father.
"No, Prongs… you haven't seen anything yet. The first prank was only to lead them into a false sense of security. The fun's only about to begin and our fans will be delighted before the day is over; you have my word on that…starting with our dear little Divination professor."
"Divination…I thought you didn't take the subject?" asked James.
"I don't… normally, but it will be funny when our dear Professor Die doesn't realise that and then when she has to act as if she hadn't mentioned it, intentionally… besides… Herbology has been cancelled …due to the fact that Professor Sprout's plants are…er…behaving rather strangely this morning." said Harry, with a suppressed smirk. He knew directly what had happened.
"Yes … Jawana does have that, doesn't she," said Sirius smiling evilly.
"So that was you!…What did you do?" asked Sirius, his eyes becoming as big as saucers…
"That was you?" asked James… "I thought you weren't responsible for the …oh right, Peter…well…shame that he had to leave last night to go to his parents…he's missing all of the fun…so what did you do? He didn't seem to care that Harry was stealing the whole show.
"I heard from one of the Hufflepuffs last night that the plants seemed to grow up at a tremendous pace. I was wondering what that meant. No wonder Professor Sprout was missing at breakfast this morning," James said, his respect for his new comrade in pranks had just grown…again.
"Yes, that was me… I think Sprout will have her hands full today… some of those plants can be quite… er… demanding at times," said Harry, diverting the conversation away from Peter…he wasn't comfortable talking about him yet…not right now.
James and Sirius laughed merrily and soon the Divination tower came into view.
They entered the Divination classroom and took some seats at the far back of the room. A few other students gave Harry strange looks but didn't comment. Most had too much respect for their unofficial head and the others didn't care enough anyway.
If he wanted to take an extra class, then who were they to comment on it.
It didn't take long until Professor Die entered the class, promptly tripped over a bag and fell to the ground painfully as she entered. Incidentally it had been the one which Harry had placed there upon entering the room.
"I knew that was about to happen… can't stop fate you know…," she said, a little flustered as she raised herself up from the ground.
Harry scoffed at this but left it at that. The only time he took Seers seriously was when they actually did succeed in making a true prediction. He would know when a real one was made…until then he had no respect towards Seers and their ilk … well not much, anyway.
In the past, or rather the past of the future he might have, but not anymore.
"Now… today we are going to attempt to predict the future through the difficult practice of soul gazing," Die said in a deep mystical voice.
Soul gazing? thought Harry, this ought to be fun. It was supposedly the most unpredictable form of Divination possible.
"Please turn to your partner and attempt to calm your minds… realise all of your emotions, accept all of your devotions…relax your bodies…loosen your muscles…yes…feel your inner calm…let it open your Inner Eye."
Harry stifled a laugh as somebody made a rather indecent noise.
"Remove all of your thoughts from your minds…good…now take a deep breath…and open your eyes…"
Oh, we were supposed to close our eyes first, thought Harry, must have missed that.
"Look deep into your partner and say the first thing that you see."
Harry looked at James and before he could stop himself he changed to a whispery shaky voice and blurted out:
"I see a nice handsome person, with wonderful brown eyes who will some day marry a green-eyed witch and have a wonderful son who will never be any good at Divination because his teacher doesn't have a clue what she is talking about."
Some of the class gasped while James and a few others snickered with mirth.
"Gee thanks, Harry… I don't know about the Divination part but the green-eyed witch sounds nice," he joked.
"Notice how I never said it would be her," Harry said with a cheeky smile.
Professor Die turned towards Harry and looked at him closely…
Up in the heavens Lily and James were looking at each others lovingly as Harry made his prediction.
"I never thought our son would be any good at Divination…a real true prediction…I'm stunned," James said, his eyes misty.
"How true James, how true…especially when we Potters have been known to be absolutely useless at the art," Lily answered just before she gave her husband a loving kiss… "How true…"
"You tell her, son!" James said just before kissing her back.
"You, my dear, I'm afraid you do not possess the delights of a true Seer, yes…I'm sure you do not… Harry Granger, isn't it… I don't remember having you in my class," she said looking at him sternly.
Harry gasped loudly and put his hand in front of his mouth as if in great surprise.
"No… really… you didn't foresee the miraculous change in class size today?" he said, faking bewilderment and complete horror.
The class began to laugh even louder.
High above James laughed too.
Professor Die seemed taken aback. "Of course I knew…," she said before she glared at Harry, having realised what had just happened.
Scowling fiercely, she moved up to Harry's seat and looked right into his eyes.
Harry just stared right back as if challenging her.
"Ah, I see… a nonbeliever. Here, let me see your soul."
"Hey he's better than you!...and stay away from his soul," said James from high in the heavens.
"Psst…leave her…kiss me instead," said Lily reaching up to kiss him again.
"What…but she Demmmph," he said before Lily silenced him with a kiss.
Oh, here we go again…what is it…the grim? Harry thought, laughing to himself.
"Oh yes…OH NO!"... said Professor Die
Oh please… thought Harry, rolling his eyes.
"… My dear boy…you poor, poor boy…the fates really do not smile for you," she sobbed as she looked at Harry with miserable eyes.
"I know, I know… I have the dreadful gift to predict the future more than you," Harry said cheekily with a grin.
"See!" said James from above
"James!...concentrate, here's the music," Lily said becoming slightly annoyed with the ever present distraction as she reached out for her husband again..
The James below took the moment to hide under the table. He could hardly hold his laughter.
Sirius, however, didn't have that much luck as he simply burst out laughing.
"This is no laughing matter, my dears," Professor Die continued as if nothing had happened, looking at Harry with nothing but complete pity.
"My dear boy…for you I see a grim…grim future indeed…death, my dear, follows you at every door step."
"You don't say," said Harry out loud, rolling his eyes once more that day.
May the Heavens have pity on my soul, he thought.
"The Heavens pity you, son," said James from above
"OHHH," she gasped again, this time stepping away from Harry with complete horror in her eyes.
Suddenly her voice changed.
"Oh no," Harry whined as he realised what was happening.
"Oh yes," said James, who hadn't
"I see darkness for seven unfortunate souls…
Five to die,
Two to live,
One with the same role as before yet changed to become the fourth,
One to be the fifth, to couple with the sixth, to create the sixth and eighth.
One of five has already died,
Four of five to follow,
Two of seven to survive,
The rest for darkness to swallow," and with those last words she fell silent.
"What the hell ! Hey that was good...weird…but good," said the James above, slightly startled. But what was that all about?"
Even Lily was started by the sudden true prediction as she stopped kissing James.
OK…now that is just freaking me out, thought Harry, feeling shivers down his spine, as he listened to the professor speak, realising that there was once again another prophecy to ruin his life some more.
I hate prophecies, he thought miserably.
"I don't blame you, son!" said ethereal James
The rest of the class were now looking at him, some with complete amusement, others with shock and horror. Nobody knew what to make of it.
Feeling very uncomfortable, his other pranks for the woman forgotten, Harry got up and left the room. He needed time to think.
The professor didn't stop him, instead she stepped away as he walked past. She seemed very frightened.
"Poor, poor child," she said after he had left, "…so young and already dead… oh the sorrow... poor child," she said again quietly to herself, not even fully realising what she was saying, before she turned back to teach her class.
The class just gaped at her incredulously. They didn't know how to react to that last statement. Had their professor suddenly gone completely insane? How could he be dead?
Needless to say, all were extremely happy when the end of class bell rang and they were finally allowed to leave the class at the end of the hour.
In the heavens above James and Lily looked at each other nervously…
"I don't like the sound of that," said James nervously.
He was fairly sure something terrible had been said.
Like a prediction of certain doom.
Lily bit her lip then answered with another kiss.
Harry was quiet throughout the rest of the morning classes.
He didn't even react and join into the laughter and hoots of joy when the Transfiguration and Potions classrooms began to turn against their respective professors.
Minerva McGonagall became a very unhappy pussy indeed when in the middle of the class, random words started to disappear from her blackboard.
However, after being their head of house for the last six years, she was fairly used to pranksters like the Marauders, and she showed her ability to adapt when she was clever enough not to continue writing on the board. Instead, she dedicated the full hour to dictating the contents and made everybody copy everything down instead.
Assistant Professor Thornton, however, was a different matter altogether.
That morning the Marauders proved to be a real thorn in her side.
When words started to randomly change with others on the blackboard to make new sentences, resulting in multiple miss-brewed potions and several exploding cauldrons, she snapped and spent the entire second half of the class screaming and handing out detentions to anybody who even glanced at her in a way she didn't like. (which were many)
Interestingly enough, at the end of the hour, the Marauders still managed to hand up a half way decent attempt on their potions having carefully followed the guidelines of their books rather than the guidelines on the board. Harry's, as usual, was perfect.
That didn't, however, prevent Thornton from failing everybody on purpose. (Besides the Slytherins, of course.)
Harry didn't really care: he knew when it came to the exams he would be able to finish any potion perfectly and so would the rest of the Marauders.
He would make sure of that. He would help them achieve that goal, if only to spite Thornton and to show her that she wasn't needed…ever!
Finally the last class before lunch was over and Harry re-joined the other Marauders on their way to the Great Hall.
"So, Harry… is everything ready for the second act?" James asked him as they walked past numerous portraits, who all seemed to be busy cursing at whomever walked past them.
Snapping out of his contemplations from the earlier Divination class, Harry immediately brightened up again: "Of course…just watch and learn," he said cheekily while at the same time he watched a red-faced screaming Filch running away from Peeves, who was busy pelting him with eggs wherever he went, cackling with glee, while numerous professors were yelling at him to stop.
Harry had ordered the Bloody Baron to leave him alone for the day, much to Peeves's complete delight.
Harry was so happy and relieved that nobody seemed to take Professor Die seriously…at least he hoped nobody had. James and Sirius didn't seem to anyway.
Sirius followed Harry's gaze and smiled (he didn't dare to laugh…yet).
"He's been doing that ever since we left the hall this morning…has had quite a lot of fun too if it's true what I heard from some of the Hufflepuffs."
James and Harry started to laugh and Sirius, unable to control himself anymore, joined right in.
Just then Remus joined them and asked what the fun was about. After hearing about it, he too started to laugh.
"So Moony… what was your morning like?" asked James, composing himself just as they neared the Great Hall for the second time that day for lunch.
"Well, as you know I went to the library for the morning class, seeing that Herbology had it's …er… what do you call it…unfortunate growth spurt…," he started to say.
Everybody laughed at this.
"Anyway… as I was saying… I went to the library and while I was in there…reading from my own text books I might add… every single book in the library started to fly out off their shelves and fly out of the windows…I believe they are still floating around the Quidditch pitch as we speak…some of them even started to attack Pince.
"She really wasn't very happy about it… in fact, truth be told, she spent the whole morning in the hospital wing recovering from the shock.
"Don't worry, they will all return later on this evening, though I think we'd better get used to buying our own books fast, as she's never going to forgive us for this."
Harry and James flinched as they heard that. Sirius, however, seemed positively giddy about the prospect of having thousands of books flying around the pitch.
"Hey, who wants to play Quidditch later on… the books can be the Snitches…the one who catches the most wins," he asked merrily.
"No thanks," said Harry while James agreed with him. The last thing they wanted to do was give poor Madam Pince a heart attack, which she would definitely get if they were about to play catch with her precious books.
"What happens if it rains?" asked James suddenly, becoming very worried.
"Don't worry, I put water resistant, un-tearable and a dirt resistant charm on every book last night. Even if it rains they should be ok," Remus reassured him. He had wisely thought of that.
Hearing this, James breathed a deep sigh of relief; he didn't want to think what would have happened if all of the books in the library became damaged or worse…if they were destroyed.
If that were to happen he, James Henry Potter, might as well be packing his bags to go to the South Pole… not that it would do him much good. He probably wouldn't even get the chance to do so in the first place.
Slowly they entered the hall and went to their usual places at the Gryffindor table, ignoring the ghosts, who all seemed to be making rude noises, swearing heavily and throwing rude expressions towards the professors who were sitting at the head table.
Looking up, Harry noticed that the headmaster was wearing earmuffs and was smiling dreamily to himself while a few of his fellow professors were futilely trying to ask him what they were…others were simply doing their best to ignore the ruckus around them and failing miserably.
Nearly all were sending vicious sour glances towards the Marauders.
The intended recipients of these glares, however, waved back cheerfully and acted otherwise supremely unconcerned. Even the notion that they might be spending the rest of their school life in detention didn't seem to have an effect on them… not at that moment anyhow. They all knew they would have enough time to worry about that unfortunate fact later …in glorious silence…now was the time for fun. Sorrow and regret could queue up and follow later.
Nodding to his fellow Marauders, they all waited for the hall to fill up, then, once Harry was happy that there were enough in attendance, he stood up and raised his hands.
Almost immediately everybody in the hall stopped speaking and for the next few seconds a pandemonium of hundreds of forks, knives and spoons could be heard as they fell from their nervous users hands, onto their respective plates and tables.
Almost instantly the whole room became deathly silent…and that had little to do with the fact that two red horns were slowly extending out of the top of Harry's head, nor indeed that he was suddenly wearing his formal Marauders clothes: his night black cloak and his stylish blood red undergarments which made him look more like the legendary Graf Dracula or the infamous Devil himself, than a Hogwarts student.
It didn't even matter that there was a soft glow around him, though that might have helped.
The exception was Minerva, who, now white-faced, seemed to be suddenly unable to tear her eyes from his new features.
No… Harry's mere presence and ability to quiet rooms at a moment's...no...second's notice was all it took.
Incredulously the ghosts had unexpectedly quietened down too.
The rest of the Marauders were looking at Harry, once again, with their mouths open (it seemed to be a habit that day), and finally even Dumbledore began to notice that something was up as he took off his ear muffs and looked up expectantly, a strange glitter in his normally twinkling eyes, which made Harry wonder if it had anything to do with the twenty or so rude and swearing former headmasters and headmistresses in his office.
The old man really seemed to be enjoying himself today, so much seemed clear….or was he?
Harry, not really surprised by the sudden attention he was receiving, looked quite pleased. Smiling mischievously, he took the moment to proceed. Motioning towards his fellow Marauders he took a blue vial out of his robes and raised it as a toast.
James, Sirius, and Remus, understanding that their pranks were about to commence, followed suit and together they drank the blue-green liquid inside.
They all knew what it was… one word, antidote.
Nodding his satisfaction, Harry turned back towards the crowd. With a wave of his godly wand, the great entrance door of the hall swung shut with a loud crash of thunder. Only three lucky students managed to escape before it closed.
With what seemed like a spectacular symphony of clicks, clanks and clangs, its vast array of locks imprisoned and frightened the hall's remaining numerous doomed victims, thus sealing their fates to the pranks of the Marauder from hell.
Seeing this, multiple voices of resigned and defeated groans could be heard originating, once again, from the confinements of a solemn and subdued towering staff table while at the other side of the great locked door, the three free students cried out with glee.
Further below in the lofty waste grounds of the Hogwarts Great Hall, numerous minds of similar equally demoralised students accompanied their leaders' lamentations and began to sing the songs of doom.
Another small wave and grin later, from the self-acclaimed master of chaos, the infamous Count of Doom, a rainbow of brightly coloured words found themselves once more in their enchanted obligation to appear, in the high heavens of this 'Maraudic' battlefield.
Welcome back to the Marauders' Doomsday special!
The Marauders, Messers: Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, Doom and Prongs would like to express their sincere gratitude to their numerous admiring fans.
Mr. Prongs would also like take this moment to announce that while he really has enjoyed himself thus far, Mr. Padfoot is of the opinion that, while he is sure he will have a lot of fun tonight, we have only had the first act.
Mr. Wormtail silently agrees and thus Mr. Moony is advising everybody to become comfortable as it becomes clear that it is about to become increasingly chaotic once more.
Therefore Mr. Doom would now like to take this moment to respectfully ask everybody to solemnly brace themselves as we are about to proceed with the show:
So, with out further ado…
Let the show recommence:
We, the Marauders, wish you a nice day!!
With these last few words, fast beat music started to play and was soon followed by a brilliant flash of light, only to be replaced a second later by utter coal black darkness.
From one second into the next, the whole hall descended into chaos.
Every bit of sun light seemed to have disappeared, making it impossible to see even an inch in front of your face.
Only one student with the name of Doom was able to see…everything and anything at all.
Harry Potter aka Harry Granger aka Count Doom, Master of Chaos, 4th and greatest of the Marauders (seeing how Wormtail had died), was able to use his 'hunters sight' to see perfectly in the dark.
For the next few minutes he just sat back, sucked a summoned martini, and watched leisurely as the whole hall tried multiple light spells of varying difficulty, only to fail miserably.
Then they all tried to walk around clumsily bumping into other people along the way as they felt around blindly in front of them.
It was the worst game of blinds wizards' buff the world had ever seen.
Harry watched the scene in silence and for a moment he realised just how easy it would be for him to dispose of everybody, there and then, everyone…all of them… but that was not his mission…
His mission was just three of them…well, two now...without causing a panic.
After about ten minutes, finally bored, Harry turned his attention back towards the staff table and picked out his next target.
There you are, Thorny, he thought evilly as he found his next prank prey.
He took out his wand. He pointed it at the hated professor and…
…turned her into a goat.
Above in the Heavens, the older, dead Marauders were looking down at the scene with glee. Never in their short lifetimes had they witnessed such an amazing achievement before.
"Take that, Thorny!" said Sirius, making a rude gesture towards the old goat.
"Give 'em Hell…make us proud, son," said James, wishing for the umpteenth time that he could be down there to join into the fun.
"All hail the Master of Chaos, greatest of the Marauders five, the greatest, the craziest… the incredible Count of Doom," they sang together and then took another swig of Uncle Satan's finest homemade rum.
Neither noticed the holy and the evil one huddled together, whispering quietly at a nearby table.
Neither noticed two barely contained identical unsettling grins which were threatening to spread across their ancient faces… a disturbing site indeed.
"Mahhhhh," Thornton's goat like voice cried through the hall.
"MAHHHHH!" it came again, more strongly this time, as she realised that something was wrong, very wrong, with her.
Harry watched as the professor, who still couldn't see a thing, started to panic.
Thinking it best to put her out of her misery … by showing the rest of the hall the fun, Harry continued the act:
Waving his wand once more in a complex arch, he teleported Thornton (the goat) onto the staff table and froze her.
Then, with a second intricate set of waves of his wand and a few silently spoken words of devilish power, an old man, who looked quite similar to the headmaster appeared beside her. This old man he also froze.
Next Harry summoned a leash which he magically attached one end to the goat, the other he placed into the old man's right hand.
His preparations complete, Harry waved his wand a few final times.
With another flash, he un-froze his victims and the darkness vanished.
Around the same time, all over the school, while Harry was busy in the hall and everything was in complete and utter darkness, multiple other pranks were taking affect:
For a brief spit second, the school's multiple corridors, roofs, walls and stairs lit up in an assortment of multiple different colours as waves of pranks were activated, before returning back into complete darkness.
The only area in the school which did not seem to be affected by this was the Great Hall.
So nobody even knew what had happened… yet.
Mr. Filch, the slimy caretaker of Hogwarts (no pun intended), was busy retreating from Peeves, who still hadn't given up the chase and was merrily egging the aging Squib, when everything went dark.
His sight gone, he gave out a furious scream of righteous anger then ran right into a nearby wall. For the next few minutes he knew no more.
At the same time, in green house number three, Professor P. Sprout was busy casting wards to contain her multiple hyperactive, furiously growing, green monster charges and had just finished in time when all of the light in the room seemed to turn around in a twirl of illumination (like in a whirl pool of water) and visually fly out of sight, chased away by ever increasing darkness, leaving nothing but the complete blackness of never-ending night.
Crying out in alarm, the professor tripped over a plant stump and lay still.
Just when she was about to panic, the light came back, and in a reverse fashion of the few minutes before, the darkness retreated, chased away by seven magnificent galloping horses of pure white light.
Pomona Sprout, Herbology Professor and Hufflepuff head of house, could only stare.
This was magic of the like she had never seen before. Never in her wildest dreams.
Totally exhausted from the days endeavour she sat down and for the first time that day, she took some time to rest.
Back in the Great Hall everybody blinked as the sudden flash of pure light hit them.
It took a few seconds for everybody's eyes to adjust and to see clearly, but what a sight it was to behold:
Every male professor and student in the school found them selves suddenly in bright pink dresses (except the Marauders, who wore joker outfits and Harry, who wore a king's dress robes, complete with a royal crown and sceptre)
The uniforms of every male student had suddenly changed into a full female attire of a short pink mini skirt, accompanied by a short pink shirt, two pink socks (much to Dumbledore's delight since he loves socks), a pink robe and even (for whose who looked afterwards) a set of a white bra and white knickers, all accompanied with a nice stylish pink bonnet, worn usually by nuns, for the head.
The female professors and students, however exchanged their normal school robes for stylish black tuxedo suits, white shirts, black socks, and all the usual male undergarments.
At this stage the whole school was once again in complete chaos.
Everybody was staring at his or her best friend or nearby partner.
Some were screeching or screaming, others (mainly the more self conscious females) were blushing slightly when they realised that a particular Marauder had forgotten about a certain piece of female clothing above the waist, though whether that had had been intentional or unintentional nobody could tell.
The professors, however, were just too shocked to react and had seemingly relinquished their control for the day.
Only Dumbledore, it seemed, looked remotely happy with his new outfit and was happily twiddling his beard with one hand while with the other he was examining his own new female attire with gleeful beady eyes.
What an ugly female he made.
But none of that gave more of an outcry of complete and brutal, unholy laughter than that what had happened to a certain Potions mistress.
When people finally came out of their stupor and noticed her, the laughter in the hall was quite disturbing to behold and the mistress's fury afterwards had been terrible, or so it was later told.
Thornton, the thorn in the Marauders' sides, had turned into a perfect imitation of a cute little billy goat.
But who was that old coot beside her? With another horrified bleat she knew.
For the old coot of a man was in fact none other than the crazy brother of an equally crazy headmaster. Wildly renowned for experimenting on and his well known love for goats, the man was Aberforth Dumbledore, the younger of the two.
Albus Dumbledore became beet red as he saw his brother in the hall, but that was nothing compared to the named brother, whose bulbous eyes were nearly poking out of his head.
For as unfortunate as it may seem, shocking to the core, Harry had caught him in a fairly compromising situation…in the showers in the tender act of putting on some sort of fresh cream.
Seeing this, the whole hall burst out into a complete mortifying raucous of gasps and laughter. Along with a pitiful bleat from the unexpected sheep…er goat... it was complete and total harmony.
A few minutes later, Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore, humiliated headmaster of Hogwarts had left the hall and was still busy trying to compose and consolidate with his equally if not more so completely humiliated and distraught brother, but the situation looked quite bleak.
His brother, as mortified at he was, had hastily left the hall in somewhat of a hurry, more like a flash and so it was that the big chief himself was not around to defend the school from the next stage of pranks which the Marauders had in store.
The laughter in the hall had still not quite settled and a certain goat was still quite nettled, when the next act came in full galore.
For unknown to his victims, the prankster from hell was still short some fun.
His next prank had still to come.
Harry cleared his throat.
"Well…that was rather…unfortunate…my sincere condolences to Mr. Aberforth, may he blush in peace…amen!
More laughs erupted trough the hall.
"No matter…
"Let's get on with the show.
"As you may by now have noticed, some …changes…yes that's the right word…changes have accord …in the last few seconds.
"Professor Thornton might agree with me that she makes a fine little goat…no?…oh well…could be worse…imagine being turned into a gnat or…ahem…anyway…" Harry said, slightly flustered.
Thornton (the goat) gave another pitiful bleat.
Aberforth will never forgive me for this, Harry thought with a bit of regret.
"SO!…on with he show," he continued, recovering from his plight and livening up again.
He was soon interrupted.
"Mr. Granger…I order you to stop his nonsense and to put her right again this instant," Professor McGonagall said fiercely.
It was very clear she was in no mood for any more nonsense.
She had been horrified by the sudden appearance of the headmaster's brother and was furious about what had happened.
For a moment Harry grimaced at the sudden dilemma, not that he didn't expect to get into trouble.
Stalling for a second, he looked at his watch…after a second he smiled…an evil smile, one which promised trouble…major trouble…trouble of the highest degree.
He realised that the main prank of the day was ready…his potion had had time to work, the secret weapon was ready to go.
This is it, he thought, no turning back now…all or nothing…that's the name of the game. Rien ne va plus…the die is cast.
Grinning evilly, really, really evilly, evil enough to send shivers down spines, he looked back up and said:
"That's ok, Professor McGonagall… please…feel free to give us any punishment you wish. Professor McGonagall, detention would be just fine…thanks."
The Marauders groaned.
Suddenly two silent chimes, two unmistakable sounds, like 'bings' could be heard coming from the stern professor.
Bing Bing then all was quiet.
Very quiet…too quiet, in fact.
Nearly every student in the hall held their breaths, two girls even fainted, and the other Marauders looked horrified…
Nobody, nobody ever got to speak with the deputy headmistress like that and hoped to get away with it. Silently they waited for the impending doom…for the count of Doom, which was sure to come.
But it never came…
Minerva McGonagall was shocked, shocked beyond words and absolutely furious.
"Very well…Mr. Granger…as …a…a….a…a… what?" she said, suddenly seriously confused.
"Sorry, Professor!" said Harry sweetly…at that moment he knew he had won.
"Er…" said McGonagall again, she was somehow stuck for words…
Turning to her colleague:
"Er…sorry…Fil…what was I about to do?"
"What?" exclaimed a few students loudly who were looking strangely at the two professors. Did they just hear correctly?
A few Slytherins who had looked up gleefully at their nemeses certain doom, stared.
James and Sirius looked at each other, then at Harry, confusion evident in their eyes…
Harry, however, just smiled.
Filius Flitwick, Charms professor, looked incredulously at his fellow Transfigurations professor, boss, close friend, and frowned.
"I believe you were going to punish the boy," he answered, looking at the deputy head as if she had two heads instead of one.
"Punish? Fil?" said McGonagall. "Sorry…Fil…what does punish mean?"
Bing
Harry's smile widened.
Flitwick stared at her for a second then opened his mouth to reply:
"P…er…I don't know!…what does it mean?" he asked suddenly, surprising himself.
He didn't know anymore.
"W…what?" asked a few students.
They couldn't believe what their professors were saying.
"MHAAAAAAA!" said Thornton loudly in her goat voice.
She seemed to be extremely agitated.
"Everybody…excuse me…" Harry said getting everybody's attention. "Looks like the goat wants to say something," Harry exclaimed cheekily.
A second later you could nearly hear the drop of hundred of mouths as they all opened across the hall.
"Mhaaa!" came a short angry bleat.
Bing
"What's a goat?" asked Sinistra, the Astronomy professor, who was scratching her head, looking completely lost.
"Good gracious me…what's that?" asked Flitwick, pointing towards Thornton.
"I don't know," answered McGonagall, "looks ugly to me."
Minerva really didn't know what to make of the goat in the middle of the hall.
"MHAAAA!!" came a reply, this time of complete dismay
"Get this...thing out of here," said McGonagall just as Harry opened his mouth to speak.
"Excuse me, Professors…are you going to punish us or not?" Harry asked sweetly, barely containing his laughter.
Bing
"Punish you? There is that word again…whatever does he mean?" asked Minerva more to herself than to anybody in particular.
The rest of the professors just shrugged. They had no idea.
Harry smiled.
"Well?" asked Harry
"No, no, that's ok…no need," said Minerva, waving him away, blushing furiously…" what ever that means she mumbled to herself, she didn't know what to do. She had no idea what she had just agreed to.
"Thanks, Professor…er, Professors…would you still like to see us in class later on?" he asked sweetly.
"I mean…Professors…do we still have lessons today?" he added, altering the question.
Bing Bing
"Class, what's a class?" asked Flitwick, blinking in complete confusion.
"Search me…I haven't got the faintest," Minerva answered. She looked ready to panic.
"What in the blazes is a lesson?" Professor Blake asked. He had been quiet until then. "Is that something to eat?" he asked.
"How should I know …never heard of it before," Minerva answered in an angry voice before she could stop herself.
At that moment she was so irked with the situation she didn't really care what she was saying, nor how she said it.
"Don't speak to me like that, Minerva…all because you're deputy headmistress doesn't give you the right to talk like that," said Blake furiously, his hot temper breaking though.
Bing
"Deputy headmistress? …goodness's sake… Peter...please… speak some sense… has everybody gone crazy today?" Minerva asked, becoming angry again.
Bong
Harry raised his eyebrows and looked towards his fellow Marauders…looking towards the exit, he motioned them to follow him and to stay quiet.
Extremely confused but showing that they understood, they followed him.
"Blalbalblballblba," said Professor Blake said, before he could stop himself.
Horrified, he put his hand in front of his mouth.
"PETER!" intoned Minerva furiously.
Peter Blake just looked back meekly. He had forgotten how to speak
Harry frantically made his way towards the door of the Great Hall.
He had severe problems keeping his laughter in.
Others were just watching the scene stupidly. They didn't know what to make of it.
With a wave of his hands, Harry unlocked the door. With another wave it sprang open.
"Hey everybody…look… the door is open again," said a nearby student.
BING
"Door?...what's a door?" asked a few students simultaneously…
"Oh look, a hole in the wall…wonder what that's for," said another.
Harry couldn't take it anymore, grabbing his friends he made a B line for the exit.
Once outside he started to laugh, hysterically.
Finding an empty classroom, avoiding armed pranks as he went, Harry laughed and laughed until he was sore.
His friends just looked at him, then at each other and shrugged.
Remus had a thoughtful look on his face thinking furiously.
Seeing this Harry broke down once more. He continued to laugh until he had problems breathing and could laugh no more.
The other Marauders tried to wait patiently.
Finally he was able to speak again.
"Seriously, lads…I'm surprised who haven't realised what happened yet," said Harry merrily, he was still finding it difficult to speak coherently.
"Well, you seem to know… and you're going to tell us…right mate?" asked Sirius, who was shaking his head.
"Seriously mate… I thought we were done for… nobody ever got away with speaking like that to Big MG…what were you thinking?" Remus asked.
"It's clear he wasn't," intoned James. He was beginning to seriously question his friend's mental state.
"You just don't get it, lads…do you?" asked Harry, finding enough free will to speak.
"No, but you're about to enlighten us, aren't you?" asked James, becoming angry.
"Oh, lads," said Harry, sighing. "Ok…let me explain what just happened."
The other Marauders just nodded for him to proceed.
Taking a deep breath Harry continued:
"What you just saw was the direct result of my secret weapon…that was what you all drank the antidote for…otherwise none of you would know what a door is right now," said Harry, laughing again.
"NO… You couldn't have," said Remus suddenly, his eyes widening, as sudden understanding filtered into his head.
"Yes!" said Harry with a huge grin. About time, he thought
"What's up, Moony? Do you understand what just happened?" James asked his werewolf friend. He was still clueless.
Sirius just stayed quiet and listened.
"I think so…let Harry continue," Remus answered, a huge smile on his normally serious face.
Harry continued to speak…
"I'll keep it short… the potion makes it so that if you speak a person's name or say a word which makes people or a particular person recognise as you speaking to them and then follow it up with a certain verb or noun, making it clear that you're saying that certain verb or noun… then the victim of the potion would forget everything about that verb or noun…" Harry explained simply.
Sirius still looked stupidly at Harry, but James brightened up…
"Bloody brilliant….if you're saying what I think you're saying…then…wow…just wow," said James, unable to think of a more suitable word to say.
He looked deeply impressed.
"Can somebody please tell me what this is all about?" asked Sirius, annoyed. He hated being the stupid one… that was normally Peter's job.
"Seriously, Sirius, use your head," said Remus.
Sirius growled a dog like growl.
"The potion makes people forget certain words…for instance… if you said McGonagall's name and told her not to forget to read…she would forget how to read…that's why Professor Blake couldn't speak…he didn't know how to anymore," Remus explained.
"Oh…I get it!" said Sirius, suddenly brightening up. "But that's incredible…simply unbelievable…where did you learn that potion….was that the potion you were talking about back in Diagon Alley…?"
"Yes…that was the one…and sorry, can't tell you where I learned it…NOW…let's get back to the hall…I'm sure it's in complete chaos by now," Harry said
The others looked at each other and smiled…then grinned…then began to laugh once more…
It took a while, but they finally followed Harry back to the hall.
"My, am I happy that I never pranked you," said Sirius. He was completely in awe.