Rating: NC-17 (Language and sex)
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

A/N: To my wonderful reviewers – THANK YOU so much for sticking with me and with this piece. Your comments have encouraged me to get back in the fiction game! This was supposed to be the last chapter, but it isn't! There will be one more chapter to this section and then an epilogue. After that, I am enjoying writing the boys in this universe and I have been asked if Abby will make more appearances, so I guess I will try my hand at established relationship. We'll see. Anyway, I apologize for slow updates, but writing M/M romance while in my office hours at the University is fine until you have too many students with papers due banging on your door! The next chapter should find its way up by Monday or Tuesday unless I get really motivated this weekend!

Chapter ELEVEN: And all I see is him and me

NICK:

I am looking into his eyes now, listening to the words of the song that I have chosen just for this moment, our first kiss. I spoke the truth when I told him that I was not afraid of these feelings I had for him, but I was terrified that I would somehow make this less than perfect.

Would you tremble,
If I touched your lips?

I can already feel my own body trembling as I hold him in my arms.

Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.

I only want him to laugh from joy, not from the fact that I have never kissed a man before and I really don't know how to do this. It seems so elemental, when you think about it. It can't be that much different from kissing a woman. But this isn't just a kiss. This is a beginning.

Now would you die,
For the one you love?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.

My fingertips are brushing against the side of his face and my body has started to take control and operate on instinct, which is a good thing because I don't think that I can think this through any longer. I move closer to him and then it happens. My lips brush against his, and I am tentative at first, tasting the coffee that Greg loves so well and feeling the electricity that passes between us. Then, I don't even need to think anymore. My tongue is probing against his lips and I am desperate to be as close to him as possible. I can feel heat pulsating down my entire body and I have never, ever, been this desperate in my life. I am aware of my hardness as we press together, and I know in that moment that I could reach orgasm from just his kiss. I pull me to him and we are finally touching, hips pressed tightly together, and I am relieved to find that he is as hard as I am.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

I feel him start to melt in my arms as our erections touch, and I hold back like a teenager. I grasp him tightly to keep us from falling to the floor, and he is pressed up against me, our erections brushing together through the fabric of our pants. He is looking into my eyes now, pausing to catch his breath, and I have to tell him just how he looks to me, flushed and aroused. "Beautiful, G. You are so beautiful"

Would you swear,
That you'll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here, tonight.

And then I am kissing him again because I can't get enough of him.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Oh, I just wanted to hold you.
I just wanted to hold you.
Oh yeah.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care...
You're here, tonight.

I break the kiss and hold him there. I need him to listen. I have practiced this all afternoon, and while I know that I will never be a singer, I need him to know that this song is for him and him alone, and that these words are mere echoes of what I hold for him in my heart.

"I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain oh yeah
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you, forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero."

The music ends, and we stand there, frozen. Greg breaks the silence and my heart feels as though it will explode through my chest "I love you, Nick Stokes. I love you."

I need to respond, I know that I do, and someday this response will come back to haunt me, I am sure. "Wow."

Okay, that was impressive. I mentally kicked myself for what should have been a declaration of love, but I guess he got the picture clearly enough without needing for me to say it directly because he smiled at me and said "Yeah. Wow."

"So, am I doing OK so far?" I desperately needed affirmation, and this was so not like me at all, but I needed to know.

"Yeah, Nicky. More than OK."

And now comes the really scary part, I think to myself. The music has ended, the dance is over, and we've made it past the first kiss. I want to take it to the next step, but I don't want to move too fast. I know that I want him, and I know that he wants me. We have known each other for eight years, so it's not as though we are strangers. I have been with women before, taken the next step from the kiss to the bedroom without hesitation. I don't feel strange being with a man, a fact which has stopped surprising me. My body is responding, and I can feel the need pulsating within me, but I am frozen in place. I am absolutely terrified to make the next move because this time, I am in love. This time, it matters. Greg saves me by taking the decision out of my hands. He pulls away slightly, grasping my hands in his and a start to lead me toward the sofa, but this is not where I want him, not where this is going to happen.

"No." My voice is thick and broken, and he misunderstands me. He drops my hands from his and turns to move away, muttering apologies under his breath and I finally get a grip on my scattered emotions to capture him in my arms, his back pressed firmly against me and I hold him there as I whisper in his ear. "I want you. Not here, though. Bedroom. Please."

I can't even form a complete sentence, but he nod his head just as I discover the flesh on the back of his neck just centimeters away from my lips and I am distracted once again, entranced, mesmerized. I begin by kissing lightly, tracing my lips from his shoulder all the way to his ear, and he is shaking. I take his earlobe in my mouth and gently suck and nibble, then repeat the process again, holding him tightly in my arms, and he starts to moan. It is the most amazing sound, and my body responds instantly, thrusting against him, pressing myself against his body. I let one hand find its way to his chest, still fully clothed, and drift softly down to the front of his jeans where I trace my fingers against the hardness of his erection. I can feel him respond through the fabric, and we are dry-humping like teenagers, he into my hand, me into the flesh of his ass as I continue to suck and bite his neck. I lose myself in the sensations and am almost at the edge when I feel his hand close over mine. "Wait, please." I could never deny him.

I gather him up into my arms, and he makes a shocked sound then I am carrying him down the hallway to the bedroom. There candles provide soft light and the freshly made bed is covered with rose petals. I had thought it was a bit much when Abby insisted, but as I lay my soon to be lover down in the center of the bed I realized that it was not even close to enough. He was smiling up at me, so open and trusting, and it was my turn to say the words. "I love you, Greg, God, I love you." I claimed his lips again, this time stretching out my length atop him. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close as we resumed our dance, his hips rising from the bed to press against mine as our tongues eagerly sought out the deepest recesses of each other's mouths.

We kissed for several long but glorious minutes, and then parted to catch our breath. I knew that we would need these pauses and I welcomed the moment as a chance to bask in every aspect of the experience. Lying by his side, I traced a finger down his arm and watched as he took in his new surroundings.

"This is amazing, Nick." Tears were dropping softly from his half-lidded eyes. "I can't believe you did all this for me."

"G, I would do all this and so much more. I want to give you the world. Not just tonight, but every day and night for the rest of my life." I captured his lips again, pulling us both on our sides, and he reached hesitantly to touch the buttons on my shirt, looking deeply into my eyes, questioning. "Go ahead, G. I'm all yours."

I forced my body to go perfectly still and I watched his tentative movements. Nimble fingers adept at handling the smallest piece of evidence trembling as they tried to undo a simple button, but I wanted to let him have this all to himself. No matter how long it took, this was his pace, not mine. I steadied my breathing as best I could as, buttons undone; he opened the front of my shirt and slid it back on my shoulders, exposing my chest. I fought back a laugh at the seriousness of the expression that had taken over Greg's face. He was studying me, intently. Then, he touched the newly exposed skin, first with a gentle fingertip, then, in one swift and unexpected bold move, he followed the path of that finger with his mouth and all threats of laughter ceased. I thought that I had come undone. My body was on fire at his touch.

He shifted so that he was straddling me, continuing his exploration of my chest, returning to my lips, discovering the sensitive peaks of my nipples, and while this night was, in my mind, all about him, I was reduced to incoherent moans as he tasted and touched me in a way no one else had ever done. Finally, I pulled myself together enough to grasp my hands firmly on his hips and guide our erections together again. He pressed down against me and I arched up in time to his thrust. Everything was going smoothly, we were responding to each other so easily, so naturally. I slid my hands up to grasp the hem of his t-shirt, wanting to take my own turn experiencing the flesh of the man I loved, but the moment I began to lift the edges, he froze, a look of panic clouding features that had been so relaxed and focused only a second earlier. "No."

He pulled away abruptly, sliding up to press himself against the headboard of the bed, eyes downcast. "G, what is it? Did I do something wrong?" I prayed to anyone who would listen that I hadn't screwed this up somehow. Then he said one word, softly, and I understood exactly what I needed to do to make this right.

"Scars."