Chapter 11

Standing at the top of the stairs, Castle skimmed his right foot along the carpet edge of the top step. He reached his toes out long until he felt them curl around the step edge thus giving him proximity as far as where he stood. He moved his left foot closer to the right, then slowly lifted it and lowered it down onto the first step. He repeated the process with his right foot until he was successfully descending the stairs, which was a much more tedious task since his arms were piled so high with laundry he could not see overtop of the mound.

Of course Castle could have made two trips up and down the stairs for all their laundry, but where was the fun in that?

Once his foot made contact with the hardwood surface of the foyer, he turned sharply to his right and rounded the corner of the hall leading back to the kitchen. This trek was a bit trickier as he was still unfamiliar with the Anderson's home, but he managed it. One he crossed into the kitchen area he slowed his walk to a shuffle until his left big toe bumped into something hard. He then pitched forward and successfully dumped the laundry pile onto the kitchen table. Perfect!

Smiling at his success, Castle moved towards the opposite side of the table when something in the hallway caught his eye. Looking closer he realized it was a rogue sock that had escaped his laundry bundle. Rolling his eyes slightly, he returned to the foyer to scoop it up only to see that the festive garland wound around the stair banister had come loose and was hanging towards the ground. Operating under the assumption that he had been the one to dislodge it when he was coming down the stairs, Castle threw the sock over his right shoulder and re-hung the garland appropriately before returning to his laundry pile.

Though Christmas had been three days earlier, he definitely was not yet ready to take down all the decorations he'd hung all over the Anderson's home. He really had not intended to decorate as much as he did, but as soon as he realized Mrs. Anderson loved Christmas almost as much as he did, he decided to go all out. He'd even asked some neighbors if they had decorations that weren't being used. Even though everyone other than Mrs. A rolled their eyes at him—Alexis included—he didn't care as it was the first time in nearly a year that things had felt…well, hopeful.

Back in the kitchen, Castle tossed the sock on the top of his laundry pile and moved over to the two 30-Gallon-size storage containers filled with lukewarm water, one of which had a cluster of soap bubbles floating atop it. He grabbed a few handfuls of clothing, tossed them into the soapy water bin, and then reached out for the wooden broom handle to use as an agitator for cleaning purposes. The process was admittedly quite bizarre, but surprisingly functional and even a little bit amusing, like most things in their new, post-apocalyptic life.

Three weeks had passed since they stumbled upon Thorndale Place and moved in with the Andersons and Castle felt as though they were finally beginning to find their footing there. Things were feeling more natural and less awkward. He had learned the names of the majority of their fellow community members and was slowly letting go of the stress of continually traveling and trying to survive.

For the first few days after their arrival, Castle felt he could hardly relax at all. Rationally he knew that they were in a secure place with nearly impenetrable walls not to mention locked doors and window, but he simply could not let go. He'd try to sleep for a few hours, but always end up awake, pacing the halls or checking on his daughter and watching her sleep. On his third night of such behavior he bumped into Kate as she descended the stairs, convinced she'd heard something in the back yard.

Over the next few nights he discovered Kate also struggled to sleep, so they would sit up together, sometimes downstairs, but most times in his room, watching the empty streets from the second-story windows. They never really said anything during this time, but they would sit together for an hour or so before she wandered back to her bed. Once, she'd fallen asleep curled up on the end of his mattress and had apologized profusely the next morning, but he hadn't minded. In fact, he'd grown so accustomed to sharing tight quarters with her that having her so close to him again had actually been rather nice.

By the time they'd been with the Andersons a little over a week, Castle found it increasingly easier to stay asleep longer and not to wake up in a panic during the wee hours of the morning. He also felt more relaxed the more involved they all became with the community. Johanna began to work at the makeshift school they'd set up so that their fourteen resident children didn't fall too far behind. Alexis, much to her chagrin, began attending school, too. He and Kate were educated in the community's water collection system and food stores, which were, admittedly, very impressive, all in the hopes that as soon as soon as January had passed they would begin to plant crops for spring.

After he felt he'd swished the laundry through the soapy water enough, Castle scooped each piece into the rinse water container and swirled it around for several moments before gathering up the sopping pieces and walking out onto the back porch with them. He rung each item out as best he could and then draped it across the clothing lines hung in the backyard, wanting them to get as much time in the sun before clouds ruined their drying process.

Castle chuckled to himself at the concept of hanging wash out during the week after Christmas. Up north, such a notion would have been unfathomable. (Actually, for many New York high-rise dwellers such as himself, just the concept of a wash line was almost unfathomable, but that was beyond the point.) Thankfully, in Georgia that day was in the mid-fifties, which was certainly not ideal for drying laundry, but it was the best they had in that situation.

As menial tasks such as laundry and cooking generally helped him think through difficult parts of his writing, Castle was no stranger to either. He didn't mind doing laundry for himself, or even for the entire household, but it certainly would have been far more convenient to do with a washing machine. The large containers of water were difficult to deal with and made an absolute mess in the kitchen, which was also their showering space, strange as that was, but it was simply one of the more bizarre part of their new life he had to get used to.

Returning to the kitchen, Castle intended on working on the next batch—er, "load"—of laundry when a noise out in the foyer caught his attention. He leaned his torso to the side so he could peek down the hall and immediately noticed the end of the garland was swinging freely towards the ground. Grumbling to himself, he began to turn back to the laundry, when another form of movement in the hall caught his eye. He watched as a slender hand curled around the edge of the banisher and tugged some of the garland back in place. Then, a moment later, Kate came into view as she crouched down and attempted to secure the greenery so it did not come loose again. Castle quickly moved to his left so that he would not be caught watching her, particularly not while wearing the ear-to-ear grin he knew was on his face.

If he was forced to pick one person in the household who teased him about the Christmas decorations more than any other, the answer would be Kate; no contest. She found the fact that he'd decorated the banister, windows, fireplace mantel, and even the dining room table at which they ate their meals positively absurd and never missed an opportunity to poke fun at him, particularly after he came in from the neighbors with yet another full box of green and red décor. When he'd asked her why she was acting like the Grinch, she'd merely shrugged and said, "It's not like this can be like a real Christmas, so what's the point?"

On some level, he understood her statements. Though Christmas was far and above his favorite holiday, Castle fully admitted to having absolutely zero yuletide aspirations until they'd arrived in Thorndale Place. Up to that point, he was too focused on their dire situation to even process what time of year it was. Then once they'd settled in and he realized they were less than two weeks away he'd felt the urge to decorate, to desperately cling on to what meager scraps of normalcy they had left, lest they vanish forever. Kate was right, though—there would be no exchanging of presents or delicious meal. They wouldn't have homemade cookies or decadent candies. No one would be able to watch Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life on TV. But they could still sing carols, share stories, and enjoy each other's company. In the end, he chose to believe Kate had a better Christmas than she cared to admit, bit watching her right his decorations certainly brought a smile to his face.

Glancing around the corner into the hall once more, he saw that Kate was now standing in front of the mirror hung on the wall opposite the stairs. She had a hair rubber band clamped in her teeth and was using both hands to rake her chestnut-brown locks back from her face. Watching her twist the rubber band around her ponytail was certainly not an overtly sexy maneuver, but the way she smoothed her fingers over her scalp and then dragged them down the sides of her face made tingles swirl through his chest and settle in his low-belly.

Shit. Castle thought to himself as he quickly popped back into a hidden position in the kitchen. So what he felt the morning he woke up with her in bed beside him hadn't been a fluke. He was attracted to her, and honestly probably had been for quite some time, but those feelings were buried beneath fear and desperation for survival. Now that they were safe, and the fear had vanished, it could be replaced by other more lovely thoughts like how beautiful and kind Kate was. She made him smile; she made him laugh. She had saved him and his daughter without ever being asked to do so.

"Hey."

Castle jumped when Kate's voice interrupted his romantic thoughts. He took a step back and his foot nearly landed in the soapy water bin. Instead, he kicked it, splashed water onto the floor, and spluttered as he struggled to keep himself in check. "H-hi—hey. What…what's up?"

She arched one eyebrow in his direction. "Nothing. Are you okay?"

"Fine!" he squeaked out, his voice breaking a bit. "Just, um, laundry."

Her gaze remained suspicious for another few moments until she shrugged and said, "Okay. I'm going to the supply garage to see if they have any lotion—my hands are so dry now that we're, you know, regularly washing dishes and stuff."

"Right…"

"Need anything?"

He leaned his hands against the back of a kitchen chair trying to appear casual. "N-no; I'm fine."

"Okay…" She turned to leave, threw one more curious glance over her shoulder, and then continued out into the hall. It wasn't until he heard the front door open and shut that Castle dropped his chin to his chest with relief. Jesus! Now he was acting like an insane teenage boy!

The laundry now forgotten, Castle merely stood in the kitchen staring down the hall at the closed front door. How had he not realized until that moment just how strong his feelings were for Kate? True, he felt more relaxed and comfortable with each passing day; his brain was slowly returning to normal, but his feelings seemed so strong so suddenly. He could see them making dinner together, reading a book side-by-side on the couch, and then retiring to his bedroom, closing the door, and spending hours getting lost in each other.

The vision of their bodies entwined together nearly startled him since for the prior few years the only woman he'd thought of that way was his publisher-turned-girlfriend-turned-fiancée, Gina. When she had died so suddenly his heart had certainly been broken, but that had been nearly a year earlier. He actually hadn't thought about her in quite some time, but now that she had returned to his mind, the crushing heartbreak had as well.

Could he really stand to lose another love that way?

He could see himself falling hard for Kate—almost too easily—but was that the right thing to do when they remained surrounded by so much uncertainty? Yes, for that moment they were safe behind high walls and surrounded by good people, but how long would their paradise last? Could Thorndale's walls be breached? What if they ran low on supplies? Would they have to go out on the road again? If they did, what would happen if Kate fell ill or was attacked?

Worst of all: what if she wasn't interested in him the same way he was interested in her?

Shaking his head of such unnecessarily painful thoughts, Castle decided to turn back to the laundry. He didn't want to ignore his newfound feelings for Kate; quite the opposite in fact. He had every intention of thinking through how he felt for her and how a romantic relationship between them might change the dynamics of their newly-formed family. For most of his life he had found himself diving headlong into relationships when his feelings were strong, but that was back when they lived in a world that made sense, a world without constant uncertainty. For the first time in his life, Castle was going to look before he leapt.

"You're sure you don't want to come?" Kate asked her mother when the extra sweater she was pulling on cleared her field of vision. She pulled the end of her ponytail out of the neck of the sweater and tugged at the hem so it lay flat across her hip.

From her spot standing beside the bed, Johanna let out a soft laugh. "No, no I'll be perfectly fine in here—asleep." With that, she peeled back her side of the covers and sat down, clearly indicating how serious she was about falling asleep well before midnight.

"Okay…" Kate said, her voice clearly showing her hesitation. If her mother didn't want to stand outside in the cold with the rest of the residents, she couldn't blame her for that; the night was quite chilly. However, she was pretty sure their festivities could be seen from the front windows of the house. Plus, it was New Year's Eve—who wanted to go to bed before midnight?

Johanna gave her a curious smile. "If you really don't want to go by yourself, you should take Rick with you—at least then you'll get a kiss at midnight."

"Mom!" Kate squeaked in response to her mother's blunt and slightly inappropriate comment. She had no problem going to the neighborhood party alone and certainly had no qualms over not receiving a kiss at midnight. After everything they'd survived that year, she simply wanted to celebrate and socialize. If Rick happened to be there, great! The more the merrier. But she certainly hadn't thought about ringing in the new year with her lips against his…

…at least, not more than once or twice.

Still wearing her smile, she simply said, "Good night, Katie."

Kate echoed her sentiments a bit tersely before walking out into the hall, closing the bedroom door behind her. As Alexis had already been sent to bed, Kate tried to walk quietly down the hall. She reached the top of the stairs, placed her hand on the banister, but stopped before going any further. Dragging her teeth over her bottom lip, she turned her head towards Rick's room, half expecting it to be dark, but it was not. A faint glow could be seen inside and, after a moment of staring, she even noticed a shadow passing through the light. Now curious, she continued down the hall to investigate.

From the doorway of Rick's space she could see that he sat on his bed, back propped up against the headboard. He was reading by the light of one of the batter-powered lamps they had. She had to admit to being surprised to see him there. Considering the amount of zeal he had towards Christmas, she figured he'd celebrate its neighboring holiday similarly.

Now curious, she tapped her knuckles against the edge of the doorframe until he looked up at her a bit startled. "Oh—hey."

"You're not outside?"

He placed the book down on the bed beside him and shrugged. "No…I guess I felt kind of silly going out there by myself."

Her brow rose in surprise. "Silly? Why?"

"Dunno…we're still new here and…I just wasn't sure."

Kate gazed at him for a moment, not intending to stare, but also finding his comments very odd and…un-Rick-like. Come to think of it, he had been acting a bit peculiar over the prior few days. It wasn't anything major; he just seemed atypically quiet and reserved, especially after how enthusiastic he on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Perhaps, she rationalized, he was simply missing family that he'd been unable to share that time with, which was even more reason for him not to remain secluded in his room.

"C'mon," she said, waiving her left arm out and beckoning him towards her. "Get your shoes on; we're going out."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She laughed at how surprised he sounded. "I was on my way out anyway."

"Okay!"

When he hopped off the bed and began searching for his shoes, Kate descended to the first floor and pulled on her coat, which hung in the closet by the door. A few moments later Rick jogged on the steps and grabbed his coat, too. Then, they stepped outside and walked down the front yard towards the celebration happening at the entrance of the cul-de-sac.

"Well, at least it's warmer here than it would be in New York."

"Definitely," she agreed. The air temperature that night was in the upper thirties with a light breeze blowing, but she knew back in Manhattan the temperature could have been ten, twenty, or even thirty degrees colder based on what she'd experienced growing up. "Did you ever do Times Square?"

"Yep. Froze my ass off both times. Well, I would have if I hadn't been pretty drunk. You?"

She shook her head. "I intended to once, but my friends and I got sidetracked and never ended up going. Don't think I missed out on much."

"Not really," he said with a smile.

Once they met up with the other revelers they were greeted with cheers and laughter. One of the men was passing around small paper cups filled with shots of his home-brewed liquor. Kate politely refused, but Rick took one and gulped it down. Based on the expression on his face once he swallowed, Kate felt she had made the correct decision.

They mingled separately in the group for ten minutes before circling back to each other as the groups ringleader, a man in his mid-thirties named Brandon, announced it was almost time for them to begin their midnight countdown. They had no Swarovski crystal ball to drop from high above, but instead had rigged a pully system with two ladders and a basketball with the numbers 2009 painted on it in white.

Kate and Rick stood side-by-side at the edge of the group as they counted down loudly until the stroke of midnight. The basketball dropped to the ground, and everyone began to cheer; a few even blew party whistles. Laughing, Kate turned to her companion and said, "Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year," he echoed. Then, he looked her up and down and stuck his hand out. "Um…celebratory handshake?" he suggested in a tone that sounded rather uncertain.

"You don't want to kiss?" The words had escaped her lips before she realized, and she was glad the street was so dark, because she knew he cheeks had grown pink, but she couldn't help it. A handshake? A handshake!? How ridiculously impersonal after everything they'd been through together!

"Wha—I, um, what you—I mean-"

"Sorry; I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," she said in response to his awkward stammering. Well, now she'd really done it; she'd made things totally weird (even if his handshake suggestion had started their strange trajectory). Wanting to save face before he noticed how embarrassed she was, Kate turned to walk back towards the Anderson house, but before she could take more than a step she felt a large hand close around her elbow.

"Wait, please."

She turned her head to face him, though she still leaned away.

"I'm sorry," he continued. "You didn't make me uncomfortable. I was just a bit…startled. I didn't expect—I mean, I didn't want to suggest a kiss and make you uncomfortable."

"O-oh," she stammered as now she was the one caught off-guard. "No, no—I wouldn't be. I mean, it's just a New Year's Eve kiss, right?"

"Right. Um…yeah, okay." He rested a hand on each of her shoulders and leaned his head down tentatively. She met halfway by rising up on her toes and pressing her lips briefly against his. Their kiss was as basic as could be, but when she stepped back and saw he was wearing a rather dopey smile it still made her heart flutter.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Castle was jostled by one of the partygoers trying to exit the group of people. He stepped up beside Kate to move out of the way, but as she noticed many of the guests going their separate ways, she suggested simply, "Let's go back."

"Yeah, party's over, I guess."

They walked the three minutes back to their house in relative silence, but once they reached the front walkway, Rick stopped, turned, and faced the street again. He gazed at the remaining revelers for a moment before looking at her and saying, "You know, I think this year is going to be much better than last year."

A mirthless laugh escaped her lips. "That's a pretty low bar, Rick," she pointed out, very much doubting that humanity could dissipate any further without taking all living beings down with it.

"True, but I can feel it."

She sighed and stuffed her hands down into her coat pockets. A year earlier, people in that neighborhood would have been in their houses watching the festivities on their televisions, or out celebrating at a friend's house, or maybe even a bar. They would have been driving cars, certainly using plenty of electricity, and never had to worry about running out of food or water. Such a life now seemed as fantastical as if it involved magic wands or fire-breathing dragons.

"You think we'll ever get this thing figured out? That the monsters will go away, dead people won't come back to life and…" She let out a heavy sigh as she gazed up at him. "Do you think we can ever go back?"

He let out an audible breath. "Honestly? No. I…I don't think it'll be the way it was—at least, not for a very long time, but I do think we can get pieces of it back. If we work hard, if we work together…we'll build something new."

She reached out and squeezed his arm saying, "I really hope you're right."