I know it's been forever! Gosh I am the worst writer ever. I've been looking for inspiration to write more and it is THE most difficult thing. So here ya go, and I really hope you like it, even though I personally believe that I can do WAY better then this poop.
xoxo
Kurt sits in his room, looking down at his hands. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He wants to go back out there and tell Blaine he didn't mean any of it. That they can just forget about thinking and just be. But Kurts not stupid, he knows time apart is going to be good to really think things through. At that moment, Kurt shuts his eyes, We barely even know each other.
I am so stupid, he thinks. How could he let himself become so attached to someone he barely knows? He puts his head in his hands and lets out a groan of frustration.
"Kurt, are we still on for tonight?" Noah comes into Kurts room.
"No, not tonight," Kurt looks up with a tired expression, "Sorry. But, uh, I'm hittin' the hay. Night."
"Right, uh, night," Noah leaves feeling like he's missing something, but doesn't dwell on it.
The lights, the rushing cars and people, the music, the entertainment, this is home.
The smells and the sounds surrounding this magical atmosphere just adds to the excitement and happiness.
Kurt stands in the middle of the hustle and bustle, staring up at the buildings, not caring who gave him a dirty look or yelled at him to get out of the way.
He closes his eyes, letting it all sink in, but is pulled out of his peaceful state by someone grabbing his hand. He turns and sees a beautiful boy next to him.
"We did it," he says, "We're home, Kurt."
Smiling, Kurt squeezes his hand tighter, "I know, Blaine, I know."
The next morning when Kurt wakes up, he debates getting out of bed. Because of the dream he had, he remembers that he and Blaine are no longer together. Were we even together before? Kurt thinks, but then he shakes the thought out of his mind. He looks himself in the mirror.
"Lookin' good Hummel," Kurt mumbles to himself.
"Better not let the Warden catch ya talkin to yourself," Noah leans against the doorway smirking.
"Good lord," Kurt puts a hand on his chest, "Don't fucking scare me like that."
Noahs brow furrows, "What's eatin you?"
"Nothing," Kurt says leaning away from his sink.
"Well, whatever it is, get over it so we can plan this break out, I don't know why you didn't want to do it last night," Noah follows him, snickering , "Did Blaine want to get in some extra lovin before you guys left?"
Kurt turns, facing Noah, "Blaine and I aren't a thing. We aren't together, we aren't a couple, we're just..not, okay?"
"What? Your foolin me," Noah says shocked, "There's no way."
"There's a way, and I'd rather not talk about it," Kurt sighs and continues down the hallway, leaving Noah behind.
As Kurt enters the familiar setting, he sees Blaine sitting on one of the couches by himself.
Don't do it, Kurt warns himself. He couldn't do this to himself, to Blaine. He keeps his feet firmly planted on the floor, refusing to move. Blaine looks up and sees Kurt. He smiles and gives a small wave that causes a smile to tug at Kurts lips and as if Kurt has no control of himself, he begins walking over to the smiling boy.
"Hi, Kurt!" Blaine greets Kurt with a huge grin and a happy tone.
Kurt doesn't smile back with his mouth, but with his eyes, "Hello, Blaine."
"How'd ya sleep?" asks Blaine as he watches Kurt take a seat on the couch across from him. Blaine already knew the answer. Kurt has bags under his eyes, dark bags.
"Oh, you know, alright I suppose," Kurt leans back, arms spread across the top of the couch. He lets out a sigh and a small grin, but becomes instantly uncomfortable. Blaine gives him a look of concern and uncertainty. Kurt looks down, licking his lips, "I've slept better."
"Right," the small boy falls into the back of the couch, giving up for now.
Kurt's heart aches at the sight of Blaine. His golden eyes show no sign of life, the once bright smile is fading, and Kurt can swear that he feels his heart break as well. In one moment, Kurt can reach across the small table between them, pull Blaine into his arms and never let him go. But Kurt knows that he can't. It's up to Blaine. Kurt hopes Blaine makes up his mind soon so he doesn't have to stare at his sorrowful face and not be able to do anything about it.
"Come on," Blaine says, standing up.
Confused, Kurt raises an eyebrow, "What?"
Blaine offers a smile, "Breakfast."
"Oh, right, 'course," Kurt stands up, ignoring the hand Blaine held out, walking pass him.
The curly haired boy looks down at his empty hand, sighing.
"I sure he didn't mean to ignore you," Quinn says to comfort the worried boy who keeps glancing at Kurt across the dining room.
Blaines eyes water up, "I just miss him. Is that bad? Oh, golly, that's bad. Why is this so difficult? I just want to be with him. And you're smiling, and it's kind of creepy."
Quinn shakes her head, looking at her friend with amusement, "Then tell him."
Baffled, Blaine quickly disagrees, "I can't just tell him that. He told me to really think about it."
"And have you?" Quinn asks already knowing the answer.
Blaine looks behind Quinn at Kurt, who stares down at his food, not really eating.
"Well, I'm going to bed," Blaine smiles at Quinn who continues to add a few finishing touches to her latest sketch.
"Sleep well," Quinn tells him with a small smile.
Blaine grins back, "I will."
He walks towards his room, and as he is about to step into his room he glances into Kurts. In one split second he wish he hadn't, because there sits Kurt, head in his hands. He didn't want to believe it, but he could swear that he could see Kurts back shake with silent sobs. Seeing Kurt like this isn't something he ever wants to see. Blaines heart has never hurt as much as it does at the sight of the boy he loves in so much pain.
Loves, Blaines eyes widen at the word. He quickly turns into his room. Sitting on his bed, he closes his eyes. Do I really love him? Blaine then remembers the time he asks his mother 'how do you know you love someone?' She had said to picture his life without them.
Blaine sits in his bed, and for the rest of the night he would try to picture his life without Kurt.
"Blaine?"
Honey golden eyes look up, seeing green ones looking back in concern.
"Are you going to tell him?" Quinn smirks knowingly.
Blaine stares at her, sadden eyes locking onto her excited ones. He says without hesitation, "No."
"No? What do you mean no?" She asks with such annoyance she's about to get up and tell Kurt herself.
"I need to talk to you," Blaine whispers, "in private."
Not really liking the tone of Blaines voice, her features soften, "Um, okay."
"Okay, talk," Noah stands in front of Kurt an hour or so after breakfast.
Kurt, who sits on the floor against a wall, looks up with tired eyes, "About what?"
"You and Blaine haven't talked all day," Noah says.
"It's only noon," points out Kurt.
Getting frustrated, Noah raises his voice, "You know what I mean. Is there something wrong?"
Looking around, Kurt gets up, "Let's go to your room."
"Why?"
"Just go," Kurt rolls his eyes walking away.
As the two walk down the hall, they are stopped by Quinn leaving Blaines room. She stops and looks at the two boys hard. There are tears in her eyes, and before either can ask what's wrong, she pushes through them out to the main room.
"What do you think that's about?" Noah asks.
"No clue," says Kurt as he side eyes Blaines room as he walks by. He sees the small boy in a ball, crying. Kurt stops for a minute. "Um, Noah, go on. I'll meet ya there."
"Alright," Noah shrugs and walks towards his room.
Kurt slowly walks into Blaines room, careful not to startle the boy. He goes up to Blaine, kneeling by his bed. Carefully, he puts a hand softly on Blaines back, "Hey?"
Blaine looks up, big eyes filled with tears, "Kurt, I-What are you-"
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Kurt asks with pain in his voice from the sight of Blaine.
Within a moment Blaine is in Kurts arms, "I'm so sorry!"
Kurt is taken aback, but holds the small boy in his arms, "Precious, it's okay. Calm down, honey."
"No, you don't understand! I made a huge mistake!" Blaine is hysterical, holding onto Kurt as if his life depended on it.
"Blaine, you need to tell me what's going on. You're really scaring me," Kurt grabs Blaines faces softly.
"I told her," Blaines lip quivers into another sob.
"Told who, what?" Kurt questions.
"Quinn," Blaine cries, "I told her about us leaving."
Dun Dun Dun DUN. Just kidding, but yeah now Quinn knows!
I'm so sorry for leaving it like this but, you know how it is..kind of..not really.
Okay now I'm awkward..
Landshark it out..
xoxo
ashcanwrite
P.S.
I do not blame you if you do not review this chapter.