They arrived at the Boston Commons after leaving the Dirty Robber. Jane knew Maura enjoyed this place and thought it would be a good location to have the talk. Maura continued to allow Jane the latitude to set the pace and define how this would go. This was new to Jane and Maura wanted her to be comfortable. She didn't want to rush her or spook her. Maura took her hand in hers as they began to walk and caressed it.
"You don't have to treat me so gently, Maura. I'm not going to run."
"Jane…," Maura began to deny it.
"I know you Maura Isles. You think you will spook me and I will run." Maura lowered her head caught. Jane stopped, lifted her chin and tenderly kissed her forehead.
"Not this time," Jane guaranteed and wiped her tear away. Maura nodded.
"I'm not sure where to start," Jane shrugged as they started walking again.
"The beginning is always good."
"I don't know when the beginning was, Maur."
"When did you know?" she asked prompting her to continue talking.
"Maybe I've always known on some level. But when I truly realized it was the day you made me the happiest and saddest I had been since leaving Boston."
"The day I told you about El-"
"Don't need to know her name, Maur," Jane said keeping her from finishing the name.
"Eleanor, Jane. Her name is Eleanor. No secrets. No omissions." Maura was setting the ground rules.
"You were with her," Jane replied sadly.
"You were with Cameron."
"I didn't love him," Jane said.
"And I wasn't in love with her." Jane looked at Maura. She knew this to be true. Maura and her interesting phrasing.
"But you loved her."
"Yes." Maura loved Eleanor but she wasn't in love with her and that distinction was important.
"When you told me about her, Eleanor. Knowing you were with her hurt so much and it became painfully clear to me that I was jealous. Once I realized I was, I figured out why then I got drunk off my ass."
"Why painful?"
"So much wasted time," she answered visibly upset.
"We are both guilty of that, Jane," Maura said her voice apologizing for her part.
"I started thinking about all the things in my life. Who was there. Who I wanted to be there. All the moments – big and little, good and bad. Every time I was injured or hurt or in need. Every thought always brought me back to you. You, Maur, you were always there for me. Taking care of me. Loving me. And I wondered how could I not see it."
"Jane."
"I am paid to see things but I missed this and that hurts more than you know because it means that I marginalized you. And I would never do that on purpose." Maura led Jane to a bench.
"Jane, this isn't all on you. I knew there was something different about us," Maura stated. "I just didn't understand. I didn't know enough about having a best friend to know that what we had went beyond what people regard as normal.
I realize I denied the truth because I never had anyone to count on until you. I was tired of hurting and searching to belong. You Jane Rizzoli took the hurt and gave me somewhere to belong. I was afraid I would lose that if I did something that was inappropriate."
"You wouldn't have lost me, Maura."
"But I didn't know that." Jane nodded and looked out at the people walking by. They sat quietly holding hands.
Jane began again, "All those pieces that I thought would make up this perfect life don't fit without you. No matter how I try to arrange and rearrange them they won't come together. You are the only piece that matters. Everything good in my life has your handprint all over it.
I love you Maura Isles. I am in love with you. You are everything good. And last night, oh my God…I never knew such love could exist before last night." Maura leaned over and kissed Jane. She didn't care where they were. She simply needed, wanted to feel her lips against hers.
"Jane, I love you. I came home to find out if this – you and I – was possible. I honestly never expected any of this but I am grateful for it. You surprised me. I was prepared to tell you how I felt and live by whatever you decided. I was prepared to try to live without-."
"You don't have to live without me. I am here and if you'll have me, I am not going anywhere," Jane interjected. Her face sincere. She wasn't going anywhere. She was all in with this. She couldn't be or live without Maura.
"I know that now, Jane," she replied confident.
"I just want you to know I don't need an out."
"I know sweetheart. I gave you my heart last night. I entrusted you to take care of it and you did a magnificent job. Thank you for that. And thank you for loving me the way you did. I cannot describe how that felt. No one has ever made me feel the things you did. And yes, I want you. I want this. All of it. With you."
"Even my crazy mother," Jane asked still quietly crying.
"Yes, even your mother. Your brothers. Your job. I want you Jane Rizzoli. Every bit of you."
"I do love you Maura Dorthea Isles."
"Good. You placed your mark on me now you are stuck with me." Jane laughed as she wiped her face.
"Can we go home?" Maura asked. Jane nodded.
Jane followed Maura into the house and promptly found herself pressed against the front door. Jane had never been taken against a door before but that would change today. Maura was intent. She wasted no time. She kissed her forcefully capturing her lower lip between hers. Maura's tongue playfully battled Jane's as she unbuckled Jane's pants. Jane didn't protest. Maura slid her hand beneath the band of Jane's underwear eliciting a moan. Maura Isles' delicate hands found such want waiting for her. The feel of Jane's desire was humbling. Maura brought her to the precipice quickly. Jane had never before reached this height so fast. The intensity was unlike anything Jane had known. Maura didn't tease her. She didn't make her wait. She pushed Jane over watching as she shattered into pieces before she caught her and put her back together again.