Title: This is You and Me

Artwork: Done Forby by myprettycabinet

Warnings: Muggle AU

Part 3: How We Pieced Together

3.1: Roots

'Oh dear Lord, it really is you!'

Thick arms engulfed him in a hug and Remus could not help but return it, his hands splayed across her back. She was much shorter than him and she stood on her tip-toes so that she could rest her head in the centre of his chest as she murmured intelligibly in Welsh. She had barely moved away, when another set of arms wrapped around him much more tightly. Shaking hands touched his face, mapping his features with disbelief. There were tears in the man's green eyes and they soaked Remus's shirt, as the man pulled him back in for an embrace. They both stood in front of him, still staring at him with wonder. Remus smiled tentatively, fidgeting on the balls of his feet as he stood on the front step of their house.

It was his first time meeting his grandparents.

'You look so much like him,' John Lupin whispered, tucking errant strands of Remus's sandy blond hair behind his ears. 'Especially your eyes. I feel as if he's back here, in front of me.' Fresh tears pooled in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. 'Come in, lad. Forgive us for being sceptical over the phone. We just didn't know what to think.' He gripped Remus by the forearm, pulling him into the house gently. 'We've always had a lot of calls about Lyall and Hope; newspapers and magazines trying to rehash old mysteries. Then Charlus contacted us a few years back, spouting about how he had found Lyall's lost son and I thought he was up to one of his schemes again. I never liked that boy, you know; always thought he was a terrible influence on Lyall.'

'Charlus has been very kind to me,' Remus defended, feeling a wave of protectiveness for his guardian. 'He took me in as his own and he made me into what I am today. I don't think I would even be alive if not for him.'

'Forgive an old man, Remus,' Patricia Lupin apologised for her husband. 'John didn't mean any disrespect. If anything, perhaps we owe Charlus an apology. We were quite harsh to him when he called. The loss of a child is not something easily dealt with even after all these years.'

Remus hummed but said nothing further. His curiosity led him to look around the house in wonderment, trying to imagine what it must have felt like for his father to grow up here. There was a cosiness to the house that felt welcoming and warm. The walls were lined with a floral wallpaper, violet on cream; and the windows had white lace curtains that fluttered in the breeze coming through. The hallway walls were lined with pictures, mostly of Remus's father over the years and a few family portraits. Just at the end of the hallway before turning into the living room, stood a glass showcase full of old awards and medals that Lyall had won in school. In the living room, on the mantel just above the fireplace, Remus saw the very first picture of his own lost family. His father, though very similar to the photograph Charlus had given him, looked much older in the picture. His eyes were just like Remus's, bright and amber; and Remus had clearly also inherited his height. Lyall Lupin towered over his smaller, petite wife, who looked exactly as she did at sixteen. They were sitting on a red picnic blanket with a small baby sleeping in between them as they smiled at the camera. Each of them had a finger tucked into the baby's closed fists. There were many more pictures across the mantel and Remus looked at them greedily, watching himself grow from a baby to a boy. At the very end of the mantel sat two plaques, each with a set of footprints embedded into them.

'That one is yours,' John Lupin pointed out with a gnarled finger. 'It has your name at the bottom. Remus John Lupin; your father kept your middle name after me.' The old man's hands trembled as he took the other plaque in his hands. 'This one is your father's,' he said, voice thick with tears. 'He was so small when he was born; could nearly fit in the palm of my hand. But he stared at us with such large amber eyes, just like your grandmother's.' He traced the footprints lovingly, before placing them back on the mantel. 'I'm sorry. I must be making this very awkward for you.'

Remus shook his head and was just about to reassure John, when Patricia Lupin walked in with a tray full of biscuits and tea. The biscuits smelled freshly baked and were warm to touch when Remus offered to help her with the tray. The scent of chocolate alone was enough to make his mouth water, but he reminded himself that he was not at the Potters and needed to maintain his manners. Dorea always found his biscuit hogging tendencies endearing and often indulged him even at this age. It seemed ironic to Remus how he felt much more comfortable with the Potters than his own family.

'Do you still like chocolate chip kind?' Patricia asked, as she seated herself on the chaise beside Remus. 'They were your favourite when you were younger; I remember once when you made yourself sick from having too many.' She laughed to herself as she reminisced. 'You cried for hours and wouldn't let go of Hope the entire time. Such a mummy's boy. You really were quite a handful.'

'I'm sorry,' Remus apologised, resting his tea cup on his lap. 'I don't remember much from before.' He wondered if it would make them feel better if he admitted to still like chocolate chip cookies and being rather attached to Dorea Potter, who was as good as a mother to him.

Both John and Patricia's face fell, but they tried their hardest to not let it show. 'It's all right, dear,' Patricia assured with a weak smile. 'You were so young, barely five. We can't help but reminisce. You really do look so much like Lyall.' She reached up to stroke his cheek. 'You've grown up to be such a handsome boy.'

Remus blushed. 'Charlus says I look like my mother.'

'He would,' John Lupin shot, his face darkening. His dislike for Charlus Potter was clear through his words, and Remus imagined Charlus had not left a very good reputation of himself before leaving Conwy.

'Perhaps what we each see in you is the person we loved the most,' Patricia replied kindly, sending John a stern look.

Perhaps, Remus agreed silently. 'Will you tell me about them?' He asked hesitantly, wondering how much they would be willing to tell him. He imagined it would be very painful to rehash all their old memories. While Remus felt an attachment to his parents by default of blood, he had never truly known them and could remember nothing of his childhood.

Remus's fears were put to rest when both his grandparents smiled. 'I guess it all started when Hope, your mother, thought she was pregnant, though she and Lyall had been friends for much longer.' Patricia Lupin started, leaning back against the chaise with her tea. 'The poor girl; the minute she told her parents, they disowned her. Charlus had also refused to take responsibility for her and the child. She really had nowhere to turn to, so we decided to take her in. Back then, if you were expecting before marriage, it was something truly frowned upon. Perhaps we wouldn't have been as kind if not for Lyall. He was so madly in love with her.'

'He decided to marry her before anyone found out,' John continued in place of his wife. 'We protested, but not because she was pregnant with someone else's child. We were worried that she would not be able to love him back and he would just end up getting hurt. She was still distraught over Charlus the first few months, but marriage had her see a side of Lyall that she'd never seen before as a friend. Especially after the pregnancy tested false and he still stayed with her. I guess she was afraid he had done all this out of pity for her or loyalty for Charlus. Charlus had that sort of effect of Lyall. Even after having left Conwy without an explanation or goodbye, Lyall maintained that Charlus was a good person and his best friend.'

Patricia shook her head. 'None of us really had anything to worry about. Lyall was always such a charming boy that it was only a matter of time that she fell in love with him, too.' She turned to him, again, looking deep into his eyes with a mixture of sadness and joy. An errant tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly, embarrassed. 'He had eyes just like yours; the kind that people just fell in love with.'

Remus doubted it. Sirius had never fallen in love with him, eyes or not. Subconsciously, he touched the ring around his neck. He was not ready to part with it as of yet, but he promised himself that he would eventually. He would no longer be held down by it.

'Why don't you get some of the wedding pictures out?' John suggested, clapping his hands together. 'I'm sure young Remus would want to see them.'

3.2: I'm Home

'I don't want him.'

'Sirius.' Logan was quickly losing patience with him, Sirius knew, but he refused to settle. 'Do not do this! You cannot afford to have another replacement, do you understand? This is your fifth in two months. If you keep this up, no one will want to work with you!'

'And I don't want to work with them!' Sirius exclaimed, taking off his gloves and pushing them into his locker. 'I am not going to settle for mediocre technicians, who half-heartedly floss through my bike instead of actually having it work!'

'You mean you are not going to settle for anything but Remus!' Logan banged one of the closed lockers with his fist.

Sirius felt his face heat up and he closed his locker loudly. 'Remus was four seconds faster than this twat you brought me!' He defended. 'He also made sure to make adjustments according to what tracks I was going to race in and suggested improvements to my bikes so that I actually had a chance of winning! I'll break a leg first before this bloody new idiot does anything useful!'

'Sirius, no one is going to be as good as Remus, and you know this!' Logan fell on to the bench with a soft thump. 'He is a prodigy; I recognised that from the very beginning. But the Moto is still new and technicians are hard to come by. You've already gone through some of the best ones I can find. You need to give one of these guys a break!' He patted the space beside him, encouraging Sirius to sit down. 'Look, once Remus comes back, we'll talk him into coming back, I promise. But till then, I am begging you, please just stick with Ben.'

'I don't want-'

'You don't know what you want!' Logan yelled, losing his cool and standing up.

'And whose fault do you think that is!' Sirius screamed back. 'He left because of you!'

'He left because of you!' Logan growled. 'I asked you to be careful, Sirius, not to end whatever it was that you had with that boy! If he was so important to you, then you should have fought for him and tried to hold on to him! You made this decision for yourself, so be a fucking man, and own up to it. Don't go blaming it on me!' He pinched the bridge of his nose, glancing at James who had come on behalf of Nimbus Industries and a substitute for Remus to see how the bikes were working. 'Maybe you can talk some fucking sense into him.' He didn't wait for Sirius to defend himself any further, punching the locker door one last time and then walking out.

'Are you all right?' James asked softly, taking a seat beside Sirius and putting an arm around his shoulders.

Sirius shrugged, looking down at his feet. Logan was right. Sirius did not know what he wanted.

'Why don't you talk to him, Sirius?' James asked softly. Sirius could have tried to act oblivious, but he knew that it was pointless. They both knew what this was about. 'You clearly miss him.'

Sirius shuffled his feet restlessly. 'I can't.'

James sighed, looking about to protest and then giving up. He dug through his pockets, pulling out his mini-phonebook and a pen. 'Perhaps you're not interested, but Remus was staying in Cardiff with the Longbottoms until the day before yesterday.' He scribbled a number on to an empty page before tearing it out of the book. 'He's in Conwy now; this is his direct number in the inn he's staying in.' He pushed the paper into Sirius's hands. 'Whenever you're ready, give him a call. You'll find that you're not the only one going through a hard time right now.'

Sirius stared at the number in front of him, unsure what to say. 'He was staying with Frank?' Hot jealously coursed through him as it always did at the mention of Frank Longbottom. He had to remind himself that it didn't matter anymore, now that they were no longer together. Remus was free to be with whoever he liked; but why Frank?

'Sirius,' James's tone was cautious, almost warning. 'Don't. Just…' He ran a hand through the back of his hair. 'Just go home. Go home, Sirius.'

Home.

If Sirius were to tell what home was for him now, would James be angry?

Sirius didn't know when it had started. Much like today, he had packed his things after a practice session and climbed on to his motorcycle. As he sat down, he had pulled his visor down and closed his eyes, envisioning a place he felt most at peace. Then, he had let his mind drive, winding across the streets, almost unseeing of the cars in front of him. He had felt his small ponytail whipping at the back of his neck; he hadn't had the energy to cut it for months now. Some days, he felt invisible arms wind around his waist and a head rest on his shoulder, whispering endearments that always got lost in the wind.

It wouldn't matter what day it was or how Sirius was feeling. Just like today, he always came back to what his heart considered home.

Sirius pulled the silver chain from under his t-shirt, slipping the key at the end of it into the lock. When the lock clicked, he pushed the door open, taking off his shoes as he always did and padding barefoot on the hardwood floors. Some days, he would go into the kitchen and prepare himself a meal, but today he was not hungry. He yearned for familiar comfort. He started stripping in the living room itself, leaving a trail of clothes behind him all the way to the bedroom. He pulled open the cupboard, running his hands through every single piece of clothing, before pulling out Remus's most care worn t-shirt. It fell beyond Sirius's hip bones (Remus was a good few inches taller than him), and made Sirius feel safe and protected. He brought it up to his nose, inhaling that familiar scent of petrol under all the soap and detergent that had been used to wash it.

'Remus.'

Sirius peeled the comforter away, climbing into the bed and onto the side Remus always slept. He buried his nose into the pillow and let his body relax into the sheets.

Closing his eyes, he finally felt at peace.

'Remus.'

3.3: A Mother Worries

'Are you doing all right?'

'Yes. Don't mind Padfoot at the back. He's throwing a huff because I wouldn't take him out with me today. My grandmother is allergic to dogs and I went to see them again today. They've been telling me about my parents and I guess, a little bit about me. I think they expect me to remember some of it, but I don't.'

Dorea hummed, cradling the phone between her shoulder and neck as she adjusted the pillows behind her. 'How do you feel about that, Remus?' She asked introspectively as she sat down on the sofa.

She knew him so well, she could almost see him shrugging uncertainly. 'I don't really know. It all still feels very strange. It feels strange to have other people know more about my life than me.'

'Sweetheart, that's only a part of your life,' she said sympathetically. Dorea could not imagine how he was feeling at the moment and wished she could see his face, even for a while. Her heartstrings tugged painfully at his absence. 'I understand that it was a significant, but you've lived and conquered so much more. I want you to remember that.' Her fingers traced the flower patterns on the sofa idly, as she allowed herself to say something a little bit selfish to him: 'And if you feel uncomfortable at any point, you understand that you don't have to do this. You can stop any time.'

The line crackled with static. 'I don't think I can,' he replied slowly, as if he himself were hesitant. 'I need to know, Dorea. I was lost for the longest time to a point where I just didn't recognise myself anymore. I just feel like I need to find myself again; to go back to being who I was. I-' He seemed to mull over his words. 'I need closure.'

Dorea knew this; he had told her the same thing on the day he had left for Wales as she hugged him with all the reluctance of a woman who didn't want him to go. It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed the change in him before he had told her, especially after his meltdown during James and Lily's wedding. She had just hoped that he would find himself without having to go so far away. 'It's funny how you sound more and more like Charlus every day.'

Remus chuckled. 'Is that a bad thing?'

She smiled and shook her head, although he couldn't see her. 'Given that I love both of you, perhaps not.'

'I miss you, Dorea; all of you.'

She found herself choking up and tried to control the tremble in her voice as she spoke, 'You will come back, won't you, Remus?'

'I don't know yet. Conwy…' He breathed. 'It's my home; where I'm from.'

She wondered why it was that foster children, no matter how much you loved them, always wanted to go back to their biological parents. A wave of jealousy passed through her as she realised that even in death, she had once again lost to Hope Lupin. 'We're your home,' she argued, feeling a few tears slip past her eyes.

'Please don't cry, Dorea.'

He was always perceptive; more so than either James or Sirius. 'Silly boy, I'm not crying.' She laughed weakly. 'I'm in the kitchen cutting onions.' She knew it was a horrible excuse, but could not think of anything that would cover her selfishness and overprotectiveness over a boy that was adult enough to make his own decision. 'We're going to go see little Harry today and Lily wanted some key lime pie.'

'Key lime doesn't have onions in it.'

Dorea laughed. She would have hit his arm lightly if he were here. If it had been James, he would have been oblivious enough to believe her. Sirius would have noticed, quick as he was, but would have only tried to put onions into her pie the next time she tried to make some in an effort to silently cheer her up. Remus, who always helped her in the kitchen, however, would not hesitate to point out the obvious. 'I understand if you want to stay, Remus,' she assured him, despite her misgivings. 'But you know that I have always considered both you and Sirius my sons. I can't help but get overtly attached.' She smiled bitterly. 'James always complains I coddle too much and that I need to let my chicks fly sometime. I suppose I forget sometimes that I'm not your mother.'

'You will always be my mother, Dorea.'

Dorea covered her mouth with her hand as a sob escaped her.

'You should stop cutting those onions.'

Dorea let out a watery laugh. 'Don't be cheeky with me, young lad!' They both laughed together over the phone, even though it wasn't that funny. She missed him; she missed all of them. The house was always empty, but at least James and Sirius were near enough to frequently visit. With Remus, she worried. Not only because he was far away, but because she wasn't sure if he would return or if he was all right. He remembered as he left, how tightly he had hugged her and Charlus, and how he had been so near tears. Something had been wrong, she knew, but both Remus and James had refused to tell her what. It brought an uneasiness in her heart that she simply could not put to rest. 'You are okay, aren't you, Remus?' She asked, coiling the telephone cord around her fingers.

There was a small pause, before Remus replied sombrely, 'I will be.'

3.4: Giving Life

'John won't be joining us today,' Patricia Lupin said softly as she handed Remus his tea. 'He still has a hard time coping with Lyall's death and I don't wish to make this any more difficult for him. I hope you understand.'

Remus nodded. He had noticed early on that his grandfather was more prone to breakdowns during Remus's visits, especially when they started rehashing old memories or going through photograph albums. Some days, when John was feeling particularly weak, simply looking at Remus's face would reduce him to tears.

Patricia Lupin sat down beside him and took a deep breath before announcing the inevitable. 'I suppose it's time I told you how your parents died.'

Remus swallowed thickly and nodded. This was what he had been waiting for all this time; the very reason he had taken the time to search for links to his past. He was about to find out how he had come to be; how he had gone from an only child in a loving family to a street mongrel. 'Please.' It was his cue for her to start.

'As you know, John had started working in the Prophet here in Conwy as an investigative journalist. It was his ideal career, but I suppose, not his ideal job. He was frustrated with Conwy; very little happens here past petty thievery, you see. So when he got an opportunity to transfer to London, he didn't think twice.' Patricia wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly despite the warm fire burning in the hearth. 'Hope was reluctant at first. She had never really gone beyond Conwy and she worried if she would be able to raise you properly in a big city. But Lyall had a dream to fulfil and she couldn't bear to take that away from him.' She smiled at Remus, her eyes crinkling in the corners. 'Lyall did well for himself there. He didn't rise to stardom over night, but he was fulfilled. Everything started to go wrong when he was assigned to the Greyback case.'

Remus had read about this during his research. Fenrir Greyback had been a notorious criminal and drug overlord. He had a policy to "catch them young". He picked up impoverished children off the streets and stole many more after murdering their parents in cold blood. These children were then used to his advantage; some were sold to brothels or wealthy individuals with illegal desires. Some were brought into his syndicate as dealers and producers. Some were simply killed to quench Greyback's blood thirst. Just reading about Greyback's past made Remus sick; the only consolation had been that Greyback had been caught and sentenced to death following his parents' murders.

'Back then, while Greyback's crimes were well known, the man himself was hard to catch. They did not have any photographs of what he looked like; and only a handful of artistic impressions from possible witnesses. Greyback did not leave any survivors to tell the tale and he certainly didn't leave enough trails to be convicted.' Patricia's face twisted with disgust as she talked about the man who killed her son. 'The police had actually brought him in on some minor offense that made the fourteenth page of the Prophet. He looked so ordinary that none of them suspected him of being the most wanted criminal of that time. No one batted a single eyelid, except Lyall.' Her hands balled into tight fists and Remus, feeling somehow connected to her at that very moment, put his hands over hers. 'They all made fun of him. Told him he was better off chasing pickpockets in Wales, but he was steadfast about his suspicions. Lyall had a good reputation in the Prophet and that was the only reason his boss allowed him the Greyback case. The bottom line was: if Lyall could bring in enough proof, they would run the article.'

Remus had also read his father's article and many that came after it. Charlus had always said that Remus should be proud of his father. Though Charlus had not known the details like Patricia did, he had not once hesitated in thinking that Lyall Lupin had lost his life in an honourable way. Lyall was a man of principle, he had told Remus many, many times, and his sacrifice saved hundreds of innocent lives that would have been lost otherwise. While everything Charlus said had turned out true, Remus felt more angry than proud. Yes, his father had been nothing short of a hero but at Remus's expense. Remus had paid the cost of Lyall's sacrifice by leading a life of confusion, hardship, and loneliness.

'Revenge,' Patricia spat venomously. 'That's what you lost your parents to, Remus. Revenge for ousting the most wanted man in all of London; revenge for telling the truth.' Her hands tightened around his almost painfully as she mirrored his anger. 'He broke into the house in the middle of the night, through your bedroom window. Your parents must have heard him come in or you might have screamed, we don't know, but the police said there were signs of a scuffle. Your father had fought back; his body was found in your room. Your mother's was found downstairs near the front door but she'd never quite made it. All the exits were bolted shut; that bastard made sure no one had the chance to escape. Greyback had set fire to the house before leaving and half of your home had burned down before help had arrived. They assumed that the reason they never found your body was because you might have gotten caught in the fire.'

'So,' Remus bit his lip, 'so you don't know how I…how I survived?'

Patricia shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. 'I'm sorry, sweetheart.' She leaned forward to hug him tightly, stroking his hair. 'If John and I had known you were alive; if there was even a hint of it…' She kissed his hair gently. 'That night we lost everything; our whole family. I cannot explain to you how distraught we were.' She disentangled from him, cupping his face in both hands. 'This is the first time I've seen John this happy in fifteen years, and all it took was a visit from you.'

'But you don't know how I got here,' Remus whispered, his disappointment churning and turning to a feeling of hopelessness. 'No one in this whole bloody world knows how I survived. Not Charlus and not the police. You were my last hope.' He had abandoned everything in the anticipation that he would find his salvation here, but he felt as lost now as when he'd started this whole journey.

'I'm sorry, Remus,' Patricia apologised, looking genuinely upset that she could not be of more help. 'I've reached the limit of my knowledge. I wish I could help you, I really do. If you had any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them…'

Remus buried his face into hands, his fingers clutching at the necklace around his neck for some kind of respite or comfort. 'Who am I, grandma?' he choked out. 'Why am I here?'

She rubbed his back soothingly. 'You are Remus John Lupin and you are here because your parents loved you.'

So yes, I updated faster than I anticipated but this chapter was ready to go and I didn't really want to keep anyone waiting. Hope you guys liked it and do leave a REVIEW telling me what you'd like to see, or what you enjoyed about this chapter as it helps a lot. Now on to my anonymous reviewer!

theonelazy: Do you mean Padfoot or Sirius? Sirius isn't with Remus when he's at Frank's because Remus is in Cardiff at that point, while Sirius is in London. And as it was late at night, Padfoot is presumably asleep. He does make a small appearance in this chapter though, but I'll try to have a little more of him in the coming ones just for you. :D

autumnconfusion: Thanks for taking the time to review! I agree that Fabian is very, very disturbed and has issues well beyond Remus's handling capabilities. The hand holding thing is actually from Fabian's point of view so it looks like a lead on. But actually Remus is holding his hand in a way someone does when they're trying to lead you away from somewhere sort of forcefully. And you made perfect sense with Sirius; you can probably see that in this chapter where it's really clear that he loves Remus but he can't admit to it. Because he's an idiot. I shouldn't say that - I wrote him. But it's true.

Ali Baba: Thank you! Well, I would say one more chapter before everything sort of starts to fall in place with these two and Sirius stops being a dumbass. Though I think this chapter shows them already kind of on the mend and trying to cope with things in a different way. Hope it didn't make you cry...despite Remus's hopelessness. Keep reading!