Balanced Diet
Pairing: Hidan/Sakura
Rating: T
Words: 266
"I don't care if you've been dead for years, Hidan."
"And I don't care if you don't fucking care! That shit is nasty and I don't want it."
"Hidan!"
"Fuck you!"
"Not if you don't eat your Goddamn broccoli!"
It only really took him a second to process this, and once he did he gingerly picked up a single piece of broccoli by its topmost tip. "But it's so...disgusting. I fucking hate vegetables. Seriously."
Sakura, feeling far too triumphant to be healthy, planted her fists on her hips as she stood over him. "So then learn to like them."
"My mother died years ago, Sakura; I don't need another one." He sneered and picked off a strip of green from the stem. "This is such bullshit! It looks like a miniature tree. And it probably fucking tastes like one, too!"
"Well, if you don't try it, then you'll never know, will you?"
And without another grumble of protest, he shoved it ungracefully into his mouth, chewing loudly and with a wide, open mouth, sneering and grimacing the whole way. Apparently he wanted as little to touch his tongue and taste buds as possible.
He swallowed, and a smug grin crossed Sakura's features.
"There," he complained, smacking his lips like he had peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth. "I fucking ate it. Happy?"
"Yes. Very. A balanced diet is important, after all."
"Okay, so your turn, mother-fucking goddesss of mother-fucking vegetables. Let's see you shove some mini-trees down your pretty fucking throat, seriously."
Sakura waved a dismissive hand. "No, thanks. I don't like vegetables."