Chapter 11

If you'd ask Sam, then the last two weeks went far too fast. After getting over the initial shock of Susan's and Aaron's death, she spent a lot of time thinking about the future - and was finally quite happy with the decisions she made. Now only the General had to agree with them - well, and then there were the guys from SG-1. Truth be told, she was much more afraid of their reaction than of General Hammond's. After all, there were supposed to be friends, and - even more important - they had to trust each other in order to survive the odd difficulties they frequently managed to get themselves into.

Oh well, she'd have to deal with it once the time was right. Pushing these things aside, although it wasn't exactly easy, her thoughts went back to her daughter. For the first couple of days in Denver, Caity hadn't let her out of sight and they spent much more time than usual in their rocking chair. But three days after the funeral, the twins had enough of being patient and leaving their favourite aunt and cousin alone. So said morning - well, very early morning - Sam and Caity were awoken by Maia and Lena jumping up and down on their bed. Once the girls were sure that the two, former sleeping, occupants of the bed were awake now, they plopped down on either side of them, unceremoniously shoving a book into Sam's lap. Knowing there was no way she'd be able to go back to sleep, Sam sat up, letting her daughter sit between her legs so Caity could lean back against Sam chest. And after making sure the twins were covered and warm and comfortable leaning against her side, she started to read.

When about an hour later Jake opened the door to their guest room looking for his errant twins, he couldn't help but smile. Sam, Caity and his twins were snuggled close together, fast asleep. Quietly closing the door again, he went to fetch his wife and their digital camera. Now, this picture marked the turning point for Caity to start coping with her parents death. She'd still stay close to Sam but she'd also play with her cousins again, something she hadn't done since her parents died. And she was laughing again, even if it was still rare at first. By the time Sam had to leave for Colorado Springs, Caity was on a good way back to her former self, though she still was quieter than usual and needed to be comforted more often. She was also going back to school and seemed to do just fine. So although she had to leave, Sam knew that her daughter was going to be fine, which was the most important thing to her right now.

Sam had called Caity before leaving for work and they had talked for quite a while. Ever since that first day the twins had made it a habit of sneaking into the room - although to a more appropriate time now - book in hand. Apparently they loved this little ritual so much that they came this morning too, graciously allowing Caity to read to them. Fondly remembering the rest of their talk, Sam finally pulled up at the Cheyenne Mountain Complex, carefully slipping back into Major Carter mode.

xoxoxoxoxo

Now Sam was nervously standing in front of General Hammond's office, trying to get the courage to knock. Realising that she had no choice but to talk to him rather sooner than later, she took a deep breath before finally raising her hand, knocking at the office door.

"Enter!"

Taking another deep breath, Sam opened the door. "Sir, do you have a couple of minutes?"

"Major! Come in! It's good to have you back. I hope you had a good vacation?" General Hammond said smiling, looking up from the report he was currently reading – and truth be told, he was glad for the interruption.

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Sam replied smiling, fondly remembering the time she spent with her daughter and her brother's family.

"Good. So, what can I help you with?" he asked her, gesturing to the chairs in front of his desk.

Turning around, Sam closed the door while seeing that the blinds on the window were thankfully closed, before coming to the desk. She sat down in one of the chairs, subconsciously biting her lower lip, eyes nervously focused on her hands in her lap, as she tried to find the right words to start.

"Major, is something wrong?" General Hammond asked concerned after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Um, no sir. Not really," Sam replied blushing slightly, as in her musings she hadn't realised the time passing. Taking a deep breath, she continued quietly, "I know it comes unexpected and all, but I'd like to request a more base-bound position within the SGC, sir."

Not being able to look at General Hammond, she once again stared at her hands. And the longer the following silence remained, the more nervous she became. Finally looking up at General Hammond, she found him scrutinising her intensely. Though she started to blush even more, this time she continued to look at him, waiting for his response.

"You are right, this comes unexpected. Completely. Therefore I'd really like to know why," he finally replied.

"It's rather personal, sir."

Sighing, General Hammond started, "Major Carter, you are one of the finest officers I ever had the pleasure to work with. But you also have to understand that I'm rather puzzled by your request and truth be told, I like to know more about your reasons. "

Seeing Sam getting ready to protest he held up his hand before continuing, "I think I know you good enough to realise that your request wasn't an easy or rushed one and therefore I like to know what stands behind it. Listen Major – Sam, I won't order you to tell me your reasons, but rather ask you as someone who has known you for a long time, ask you as an old family friend. Off the record, if you like. But whatever your decision, consider your request acknowledged and I will think about it, though I'll expect a written statement with what exactly you mean by 'a more base-bound position'."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Sam answered, relieved that he wasn't going to push her for an explanation.

Standing up, she waited to be dismissed before turning and moving to open the office door. But as soon as her hand reached the door knob it stopped moving on its own accord. Damn, damn, damn! What the hell was she supposed to do now? On the one hand she was relieved that he didn't order her to answer his questions, but on the other hand this order would have taken the decision out of her hand. A decision she dreaded to be making. A decision she almost hoped for to be taken by someone else! Crap, why did he have to start with the old family friend routine? Because he was right. Because he knew her since she was a little girl. Because he knew her pretty well.

Leaning her head on the door, she took a deep breath, decision made.

"Off the record?" she asked almost inaudible.

"Off the record," he agreed.

"Okay," Sam said, finally turning around again, though she was still not able to meet his eyes.

Seeing Sam's inner struggle, Hammond stood up to walk around his desk, where he sat down in the chair next to Sam's. There was no sense in having the desk as barrier between them when they were talking privately. Patiently waiting for Sam to gather her thoughts and start talking he couldn't help but wonder what it was that one of his best officers had left in this state.

Taking a couple of minutes to gather her thoughts, Sam finally started to explain.

"While I was being held by Adrian Conrad, close friends of mine – Susan and Aaron Carter – died in a freak accident in Denver. Jake tried to reach me since Wednesday afternoon, but I was obviously not there," she said bitterly. "Jake was going to call you, if I wouldn't have called by Sunday night," she added, looking straight at General Hammond, waiting for his reaction. Of course she didn't need to tell him who Jake was. After all, he was an old family friend as he had just stated a couple of minutes earlier. Seeing his understanding nod, she quietly continued her tale.

"Anyway, Susan and Aaron weren't just close friends, they were also the foster parents to Caitlin Hope Carter – my daughter…" Sam all but breathed out. This got the General's attention!

Not waiting for another reaction than the surprised and slightly shocked look the General gave her, Sam continued.

"Well, I was pregnant when I left Colorado Springs for the pentagon, though I didn't really knew it until I was already in Washington. People at work thought it odd that I didn't want to talk about the baby, so the rumours started. When I returned from my maternity leave without my baby, the rumours came back full force – and it was soon decided that I had given up my baby for adoption. And I didn't correct them, I was actually glad about this becoming the version everyone accepted."

Seeing understanding dawning on the General's face, Sam continued, "I take it you heard the rumours then?" receiving a nod, she added almost quietly, "Dad?"

"I think he knows, well about the adoption anyway," the General confirmed her fears, still trying to take everything in himself.

"Why did you say you were glad about everyone thinking you gave your baby up for adoption?" he asked after several minutes, suddenly aware of her rather unusual choice of words.

"Because that meant she was safe," she replied quietly.

"Safe? Why would she be in danger?" the General asked confused, but getting no answer from Sam.

Suddenly he had another thought. "Sam, I know it's non of my business, but what about her biological father? Couldn't he have helped?" he asked gently. Getting only a snort for an answer, he continued to probe gently, as he had a fairly good idea of who it might be. "Jonas Hanson?"

Seeing her flinch, he knew he was right. Well, it wasn't too difficult to guess, since they broke their engagement about the same time she left for Washington.

And suddenly realisation hit, "You were afraid of him! But why? Do you really think he would have been able to hurt his own child?" he asked incredulously. Sure, he wasn't the most stable of persons as the General had to learn at the SGC, but still.

After all, it was one thing to conceal the existence of a child from its father, but giving said child to foster parents, just to keep it safe from a father who didn't know about the child's existence in the first place, was surely a complete over-reaction! Right? Or so he thought – at least until he saw the deep pain in Sam's eyes when she finally looked up at him.

"Believe me, I knew what I was doing. I know it looks like a complete over-reaction. But I knew Jonas, the way he worked, they way he thought. He already had too many messed up mission, even before he joined the SGC. That's also why I broke our engagement. Unfortunately he was brilliant in disguising his true mental state. He knew all the right answers to pass any psych evaluation." she said bitterly. "Jonas also had friends in all the right places. I learned that the hard way," she finished harshly, a lone tear trailing down her face. Angrily whipping off the tear drop, she got up to start pacing around the General's office.

Seeing the distress that the conversation brought to Sam, the General decided to go back on slightly safer ground. Though he couldn't help but wonder what Sam meant with her last statement. There sure was more to that story than Sam let on.

"So what happened with your daughter, if you didn't give her up for adoption?" he asked gently.

"I had help from Jake. And Catherine Langford. They were the only people who knew about the pregnancy and who the father was, what he was capable of. The Carters were friends of Catherine's, they always wanted to have children but weren't able to conceive. They were good people, I knew I could trust them the minute we met. Having the same surname made things pretty easy too, as no-one would question them being Caity's real parents," she explained calmer than before.

"Once I had to get back to work, I left my little girl with them. That was the hardest part. But at least she was safe. Then I met Jonas at the SGC, and was sure I'd done the right thing." Sam continued quietly, finally sitting down again.

"Three years ago, Susan and Aaron moved to Denver and I was able to see Caity more often. Jake and his family followed soon after and made sure that Caity knew everyone of her family. Jake was actually the emergency contact, should something happen to Caity's parents and so she was staying with Jake's family ever since the accident."

Giving the General a few minutes to take everything in, she finally continued. "During the last two weeks I had a lot of time to think about the future – and I'm going to take Caity in. There's no way I'm going to give her up again. Not when I'm finally able to keep her safe. That's why I can't stay away for days on end, why I need a more regular schedule," she finished almost pleadingly.

Shocked by everything he learned over the last minutes, by the sacrifices Sam had to make – cause for some reason he knew that Sam's fears weren't unfounded – General Hammond finally asked, "Have you talked with the rest of SG-1 about all this, because this is definitely going to change things."

Seeing her shake her head, he continued, "I see. So what do you think would be best to accommodate your new personal situation?"

"Sir?"

"I'm sure you already have some sort of solution for this. So why don't you tell me about it, cause it would make my job much easier if I'd have something to work with," he said, smiling encouragingly.

"Yes, sir. Well, Caity is staying with Jake until school finishes in a few weeks. After that I'd like to take some more time off to move her in, get things organised and the like. As for SG-1, I'm not sure. I'd still like to go off-world, though not as often as before or more on shorter missions. Maybe SG-1 could be joined by someone else for certain missions, like when Daniel is occasionally joining other teams. Then again, I'm sure they'd be fine as three-man team too." she replied uncertain.

It wasn't an easy decision, though truth be told, it was made as soon as Jake told her what happened, well taking Caity in that is. Trying to find the best possible way to do so, was an entirely different matter. Sure, she could have withdrawn from gate travel completely, but if she was honest, she wouldn't have been happy with that. Not in the long run. And Caity might have been the one paying for it, however unintentionally it might be. Sam was only human after all and she knew she wasn't perfect.

"This sounds like you've put already a lot of thoughts into this, not that I expected anything less from you. I will take your suggestion into consideration, I actually like the sound of it, but can't guarantee anything. Not yet anyway. It's also a decision I can't and won't make without talking to the rest of SG-1. After you had a chance to explain yourself, of course," he replied thoughtfully after a while, bringing Sam out of her own thoughts.

If he was honest with himself, he quite liked that idea, especially as it would mean Major Carter's expertise would still be available off-world. It was also much better than the alternative of Major Carter withdrawing completely from off-world travel. Yes, this idea was really worth thinking about. And knowing her, he was sure she already had someone in mind, who'd be able to replace her from time to time. Putting that question aside for the moment, he asked curiously, "What about Caity? What happens to her when you can't be home overnight?"

"Dr. Fraiser is willing to help out whenever possible. I've also talked to Cassie's former babysitter, and she'd be willing to work for me too. She's already used to stay overnight from Dr. Fraiser and would be willing to do so if need be. And if I should be away on weekends, Jake and his family would take over. It might not be easy, but I know it's going to work. I've done it before," Sam replied confidently.

Nodding, General Hammond thought about the talk he had with Dr. Frasier two weeks ago. By the sound of it, Jake wouldn't only be able to help on weekends, but also during the week, though apparently he wasn't willing to say something to Sam, at least until he was sure he had the job. It also suddenly made sense that Jake was willing to meet with his father and even work with him if need be - a fact Dr. Frasier made sure he was aware of before making any decision on the job. Jake was always willing to set his own needs aside if I'd help Sam, something that obviously hadn't changed over the years. Although, if he understood Dr. Frasier correctly, his wife and children were willing to move too, his wife even having a job waiting for her.

"Very well then, I'll think about it and expect you to talk with SG-1," General Hammond answered. Seeing the fear in Sam's eyes he continued reassuringly, "It doesn't have to be right now, but make sure you don't wait too long. It won't get any easier that way."

"Yes, sir. Thank you," Sam answered relieved.

"Before you leave though," he started seriously before continuing with a smile, "I'd like to see a picture. If you have one that is."

Relaxing, Sam nodded before getting a couple of pictures out to show the General.

Leaving the office a few minutes later, Sam was relieved that this went even better than she expected. Now if she only had that talk with Colonel O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c already…

A/N So, here you are. We know who Caity's father is. We might not like it, but I couldn't think of any reasonable way to get around it. Though a friend asked if it could be Pete and I found this so unexpected, that I almost did this. After all, he is a friend of Mark and therefore could have met Sam much earlier than season 7! But unfortunately I was threatened to have very bad things happening to me if I did indeed change the already written part :( ! LOL

Anyway, Muse and I are best friends now. Forever. Honestly. As I'm really bad with names I started to call her Muse – I mean, I always wanted to call a dog Dog or a cat Cat (or even better, a dog Cat and vice versa) – and now I caught her referring to herself as Muse! Ha! I won! Me1 (YAY!), Muse27… oh well. As for the claim I'm procrastinating when SG-1 finds out about Caity on purpose… well, that's not me, that's Muse! LOL … Me2 , Muse27… Bah!

Once again a big thank you to all those who reviewed! It really helps in getting the next chapter done!