Thanks so much for all the nice comments after the previous chapter. I really appreciate it.
xxxxx
Deeks and Kensi were the first in line. They made their way to where Garrison lay and then went over to Callen and Alex to pay their respects. "How are you holding up?" Deeks asked as he drew Callen in for a hug.
"Okay," Callen said with a shrug. "You know…"
Deeks nodded. "If there's anything I can do…" He drew back from Callen and moved aside so Kensi could speak with him.
"Let us know if you need anything." Kensi hugged him tightly. "Anything at all, okay?"
"Thanks, Kens," he said, nodding.
Some friends of Alex's were next. They introduced themselves to him and then went on to speak with Alex.
Next was Hetty. "Are you alright?" she asked, looking up at him with sorrowful eyes after giving him a heartfelt hug.
"I'm fine, Hetty." He was trying very hard to be strong. He didn't want to turn into a blubbering mess. She gave him a tight smile and moved on to greet Alex.
Sam and his family were next. "I'm so sorry, Callen," Michelle hugged him tightly, her eyes filled with sympathy. "You already know, if there's anything we can do…"
"Thank you, Michelle," he said huskily. "I do know that."
"I'm really sorry, Uncle Callen," Aiden said. He extended his hand to Callen, but then ended up embracing him.
"Thanks, Aiden…I know you are."
Kamran then approached him, her eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry that you lost your dad…" she said, hugging him. "I…It's so sad, Uncle Callen, it's just so sad. Are you going to be okay?"
"Thanks, Kam…" Callen swallowed hard, her tears doing more to unsettle him than anything else at the moment. "And I'm going to be fine, sweetheart. Don't worry about me…"
She nodded and went to stand with her mother as Sam wrapped Callen up into a tight embrace. "I'm here for you," he whispered.
Callen nodded, momentarily unable to speak as he tried to pull himself together.
Nell and Eric followed directly behind the Hanna family. "I can't imagine what you're going through," Nell said as she hugged him.
"Please let us know if there's anything we can do for you," Eric said.
"Thanks guys," Callen said.
A bunch of people he didn't know came by next, which gave him a bit of a break and time to get his emotions under control. Then, there were various people from work who came in, a few at a time. Some, Callen was closer to than others, but he appreciated each person who had made the effort to come. Towards the end of the hour, he was surprised by the appearance of Director Vance.
"Agent Callen," Vance said as he shook Callen's hand. "I'm very sorry for your loss."
"Thank you, sir," Callen said. "I'm surprised to see you here…"
"You shouldn't be," Vance said with a faint smile. "Gibbs wanted to come out, as well, but he's in the middle of a big case and couldn't get away. He wanted me to give you his condolences and to tell you he'll talk to you soon."
"Thanks," Callen said softly. "I appreciate you coming."
At that point, the minister appeared and announced that the service would begin shortly. As Alex was a member of a church, she attended regularly with Jake, Callen had let her make the arrangements for the service itself. The eulogy would be pretty basic. Both Callen and Alex had spoken with the minister and had given sketchy details of Garrison's life, but there wasn't a whole lot they could say. Callen knew about the Matroyoshka dolls and his work with refugees, but that was about it. There certainly weren't any fond childhood memories he could share.
The service started and Callen found his thoughts drifting, though his eyes remained fixed on his father for most of the time. For all the times he had lost and regained hope, wondering if his father was alive or dead, he realized that this time, it was final. This would definitely be the last time he would ever see his father. For all his inner vows that he would remain stoic throughout the day, he felt his eyes beginning to fill and he had to struggle to keep himself together. The words that the minister was speaking suddenly caught his attention. He was talking about Garrison's relationship with his grandson.
"Although, Garrison only knew his grandson for a short time, he spent many meaningful moments with him. He enjoyed playing catch with and reading to his grandson as well as taking him on many trips to the library and the zoo." Callen was shocked to hear any of these things. He hadn't realized that Garrison had shared so much with Jake. He turned his head towards Alex, but her head was bowed and her eyes were closed with tears on her cheeks. He swallowed hard as he realized that he was jealous of the time Garrison had spent with Jake. Garrison was his father and they hadn't really shared any activities except for meals and awkward conversations laden with small talk. Once again, he experienced the inner pain that told him he had never been good enough for his father and now, he knew he never would be…
xxxxx
After the service, Jake was brought to be with his mother by one of her friends. "I think he's still a bit young to have sat through everything today," she explained to Callen, as they sat in the limo, waiting for it to start so they could go to the cemetery for the graveside service. "But, I want him to realize what's happened. It's just hard for him to understand. He loses his grandmother and then he gains a grandfather and then he loses him too."
"I didn't realize how close they were," Callen said, keeping his tone even.
Alex nodded. "It was fairly recent. They just all of a sudden began to bond. I think it was good for Jake…I just wish we hadn't lost him so soon."
Callen nodded, his eyes on Jake, wondering why his father had chosen to forge a bond with him and not his own son. He could understand that things were probably easier with a child, and that Jake wouldn't have the kinds of questions Callen did, but even so…it was just a whole new and different kind of hurt.
xxxxx
The graveside service was mercifully brief. The minister concluded the service and invited everyone back to the restaurant. Callen waited until all the guests were headed back to their cars and then he knelt by Amy's grave. Finally, he allowed himself to shed some of the tears he had been trying to hold back for most of the morning. "Dad is finally with you, Amy," he whispered. "You…you're not going to be alone anymore…"
xxxxx
Sam had been worried about his partner ever since the minister had started talking about Garrison's relationship with Jake. Sam had not seen Callen visibly react to this, but he was pretty sure the man had once again succeeding in hurting his son. After the short service at the cemetery, Sam had wanted to check on his partner, but he hadn't wanted to disturb him when he was at his sister's grave and afterwards, Callen had ridden with Hetty to the restaurant. He didn't really get to talk to him until after they had all arrived at the restaurant.
"G?" he said, finally approaching Callen after he had finished speaking with the person who was in charge of the buffet.
"Hey, Sam." Callen tried to force a smile, but didn't really succeed in doing so.
"You look exhausted, buddy," Sam said observantly.
Callen sighed heavily. "I am," he admitted.
Even though he hadn't had any way of knowing what had happened while he had been away with his family, Sam still felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn't been there for his partner over the past few days. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you this week."
Callen gave Sam an incredulous look. "Come on…you've got to be kidding me. You had no idea what was happening, Sam. This is not on you, not the tiniest bit."
"How are you really doing, G?"
"I'm good," Callen said, looking sad and lost. "Worst part's over now, right?"
Sam wanted to bring up the eulogy, but he realized that now was definitely not the time and it definitely was not the place. It was obvious that Callen was just trying to get through the day. Sam certainly didn't want to make it harder on him. "We'll talk later," he said, patting Callen's back gently. "You hang in there, G."
xxxxx
The function room was larger than necessary for the amount of people who were assembled at the restaurant, but Callen had thought it was better to overestimate than not have enough food. A buffet was set up on the far side of the room with a garden salad, hot rolls and butter, chicken marsala, London broil, rice Florentine and stuffed shells. There was also a dessert table off to the side which contained assorted homemade pastries and chocolate mousse.
Sam and his family sat with Deeks, Kensi, Eric and Nell at their table. Sam noticed that Hetty had somehow managed to get herself seated next to Callen who was with Alex, Jake and a few other people Sam wasn't familiar with. He was glad that Hetty was with his partner, knowing that she would keep a close eye on him.
After everyone had their food, Sam turned his attention to Deeks. "Deeks?"
"Hey, Sam, how are you doing?" Deeks, asked, smiling at Sam and his family. "Did you all have a good time on your trip?"
"We had a wonderful time," Kamran said. "It's a very beautiful place."
Deeks nodded as he smiled at Sam's daughter. "It is."
"Hey, Deeks, can I talk to you for a sec?" Sam asked.
"Of course, what's up?" Deeks asked.
"I just wanted to thank you for what you did for G this week. He told me that you really helped him out and…I'm really glad you did, since I wasn't able to be there for him."
"It was really no big deal, Sam," he said, looking a tad uncomfortable with the praise. "I was just being a friend is all."
"Well, to him it was a big deal," Sam said earnestly. "To me, as well. I appreciate you taking care of him."
Deeks just nodded, not really knowing what to say and was grateful when Michelle asked her husband a question and Sam turned his attention to her.
xxxxx
"I do recall you saying you were going to eat at the restaurant," Hetty whispered to Callen. She was pretty sure he hadn't touched a bit of the food on his plate.
"I did say that," Callen admitted. He picked up his fork and moved it around, finally picking up a few grains of rice and putting them into his mouth.
"Oh come now, Mr. Callen," Hetty said. "If that was your best attempt, you would have been better served not even trying at all."
Callen put down his fork beside his plate. "I can go along with that."
"I wasn't saying…" Hetty shook her head and stopped herself. She wasn't going to nag him, today of all days. He looked tired and so very sad and her heart went out to him.
Callen gazed back at her, his eyes full of despair, almost as if he was reconciled to her berating him in some way. Inwardly, Hetty cursed Garrison, wondering why on earth he hadn't tried harder to connect with his son while he had the chance. Now Callen was the one who was left to suffer the consequences of his failure to do so.
xxxxx
Callen couldn't have been more relieved when the meal finally ended and people began to leave the restaurant. He went through all the obligatory hugs and well wishes, once again, and then went to settle the final bill with the person who had been in charge of the luncheon. He, Alex and Jake then went outside to where Hetty was waiting to drive them back to the funeral home so they could get their cars.
The ride back was mostly silent, each person lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't long before Hetty pulled into the mostly empty parking lot. "Thank you for taking us back here, Hetty," Alex said before she and Jake got out of the car.
"No problem at all, my dear," Hetty said. "Hopefully, I will see you again soon, under more pleasant circumstances."
"I'd like that," Alex said. "Bye."
"Bye!" Jake yelled before getting out of the car.
"So, Mr. Callen, are you coming back to Dovecote?" Hetty asked, looking at him hopefully.
Callen nodded. "I was planning on it, unless you'd rather…"
"Don't you dare even finish that sentence," Hetty scolded lightly. "We've already gone over this. You are more than welcome…any time…for as long as you'd like to stay."
Calen nodded. "Thanks, Hetty. I'll see you back there soon."
"Drive safely, Mr. Callen."
"You too."
Callen got out of the car and walked over to where Alex and Jake were waiting. "I need to show you something, Alex," Callen said as he went to his own car and unlocked it. He grabbed the life insurance envelope and handed it to her.
"What is this?" she asked, appearing a little bit nervous.
"It's nothing bad," Callen said, giving her a smile. "Just open it."
Alex pulled the papers out of the envelope and slowly looked through them, her eyes widening and then filling with tears when she saw the beneficiary information. "I…I don't understand," she said, shaking her head. "I hardly even knew him…why would he…this should have all gone to you…"
"What? No, Alex," Callen quickly shook his head. "I didn't really know him either. He's your father too, besides, he had a relationship with Jake, right?"
"But still…I never even knew about him until recently. You…you searched for him. You…" she sighed, as she looked at the amount again, unable to believe it was true.
"He was our father, Alex…yours and mine," Callen said. "He wanted you to have this and I do too, trust me on that."
Alex nodded. "Okay," she said with a shaky smile.
"There's something else too," Callen said. "There's…well I don't know exactly what it is…maybe a letter, or maybe something else, I'm not sure. It's an envelope with your name on it. It's back at my house. I have one too, but I haven't opened it yet. I…I'll bring it to you. Maybe tomorrow…"
Alex looked at him, seeing the affect this was having on him. "It's no rush, Grisha," she said softly. "Whenever you have a chance…"
He nodded. "I'll try to do it soon," he said hoarsely.
"Mommy? Can we go home?" Jake tugged on Alex's arm and gave her a pleading look.
"Jake, mommy's talking," Alex said, looking down at him. "You know you're not supposed to interrupt."
"That's okay," Callen said, with a faint smile. "I think we're all ready to go home. You take the papers and sign then and I'll get them from you in a day or two, okay?"
"Thank you, Grisha," Alex said as she leaned in and hugged him. "I know we didn't get to know our dad for very long, but at least he brought us together. I'm really glad to know I have a brother…"
Callen swallowed against the lump in his throat as he returned her embrace. "Thanks Alex, I'm pretty happy to have found a sister and a nephew."