Pamela Isley's life was about control, until one day it wasn't.
As she drove away from Harley's apartment that night, she couldn't gather her thoughts, couldn't formulate a hypothesis or a plan, couldn't get any measure of the control she craved.
All she could think about were blue eyes, soft skin, words so full of emotion that they were choked out through gritted teeth.
She did what she always did in rare moments like these: got out her phone and dialed a number.
The person on the other end picked up on the fourth ring.
"Hello?" said a scratchy voice.
"Hi, Selina," Pam said quietly.
Selina chuckled. "Ivy, babe, do you have any idea what time it is here?"
"If you're still in Milan, I'm guessing maybe . . . 5am?"
"Close enough. It's a time of day when I would only answer the phone for you. So what's up?"
Pam paused for a second. "Kitty . . . I fucked up."
Selina gasped. "Why I do declare, Dr. Isley, was that unladylike language I just heard come out of your mouth?"
"You're shittin' right it was," Pam said, then winced at how stupid that sounded.
"That was absolutely horrible," Selina said, her amusement crackling over the line. "F for effort. Just stick with what you know, babe. And tell me all about this fuck-up. Did you leave Boat Boy?"
"His name is Rick," Pam chided her absently, automatically. "And no, I didn't leave him."
"Shame," said Selina. "Because I'm headed to Venice next week, and I'm sure I could find you a nice Gondola Boy or two."
Pam laughed despite herself. "God, it's good to hear your voice," she said.
"You too, sweetie," said Selina. "Now spill."
So Pam did.
She told Selina everything – they'd been best friends since college, and Selina Kyle was the one person that Pam trusted completely.
She told her about Harley – Selina knew she existed but had never heard about their first coincidental meeting at the restaurant, about how right from the start they'd had this insane connection and had flirted the whole time.
"You don't flirt," Selina interrupted. "Yes, I'm aware of that," Pam retorted. "So anyway –"
"Your flirting skills are even worse than your cussing skills," Selina went on. "Like, I honestly can't even imagine what that would look like."
"Remind me again why I'm friends with you?" said Pam. "Now shut up and let me finish."
She told her about that first awkward family dinner – and at this point, Selina dissolved into uncontrollable giggles until Pam snapped at her again, then continued.
"And for some reason, neither of us told Rick about how we met at the restaurant, and that just made it so much weirder, and then he didn't tell me she was a vegetarian and I tried to feed her beef, and you know I was raised to be the perfect hostess. That night, I just felt like I was failing on all fronts."
"Failure is not a good look on you, my dear," Selina said kindly. "Perfection is more your style."
"I just wanted to fix everything, and I couldn't control anything – how I felt, how Harley reacted to the situation, any of it." Pam sighed. "I walked her out to the porch, waved as she rode off on her motorcycle –"
"Hot!" Selina exclaimed.
"Yeah, no kidding," Pam said wryly. "This girl is killing me."
"So jump ahead to tonight," said Selina. "What has you calling me at fuck off o'clock?"
"Well," said Pam, "we hung out a few times, got coffee and I helped her pick out a kitten and she named it after a plant for me –"
"Jesus Christ," said Selina, and Pam could hear the eye roll.
"And everyone loves her, and she's so happy all the time, and when she smiles the whole room lights up, and we kept accidentally having these awkward moments of chemistry where I felt like my skin was on fire."
"Oh, sweetie," Selina said, serious now. "You've got it bad."
"Yeah," Pam admitted. "Yeah, I think I do." She was driving around aimlessly now, the streets mostly abandoned at this hour. Pam sighed and forged ahead.
"And then – last night, she was over for dinner, and Rick had to leave for work, and we ended up on the couch –"
"Oh my god, you slept with her?!" Selina yelped.
"What? No! But she touched my hip," said Pam.
"Good lord, Ivy, that's – not even a thing, you big weirdo," Selina said affectionately.
Pam swallowed. "I know it sounds stupid, but it was very much a thing. And then – then she leaned forward like she was going to kiss me."
"And then you bolted," said Selina.
"I sort of flinched, and she bolted," Pam corrected her.
"Ah," said Selina. "So now you're avoiding her."
"God, Selina, you're 0 for 1000 tonight," Pam said. "I actually just left her apartment. I went over there to talk with her about all of this. And we admitted our attraction, and we decided we'll only hang out in well-lit, public places from now on."
Selina was silent for a minute. Then she said, "I'm obviously not going to try to guess what happens next, because you're like this wild new version of Pam, and I love it. Just tell me what you need from me and I'll do anything I can to help you."
"This, Kitty," Pam said with a smile. "Just this." They were comfortably quiet, and then Pam said, "Okay, you can go back to sleep now."
"Jesus, I thought you'd never say those sweet words!" said Selina. "I love you, Ivy. You can call me any time, but clearly I don't have to tell you that."
"Love you too, Kitty," Pam said, and hung up.
She looked out the window, absorbing her surroundings for the first time. This far from the city, the stars were out.
She thought of Harley, how she would look in the starlight, how she'd probably hold out her arms and spin around and say something amazing.
Pam smiled.
Then she turned the car around and headed home.