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11. If You Believe

"I want to tell you something." She looked straight into my eyes.

We were sitting in my room, talking, when she suddenly changed the subject.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"But…I can't. I'm too scared."

I took her hands into mine. "Of what? You can tell me anything."

"I…I think I love you, Ashley." She tilted down her blond head.

"Spencer…" I said. "Spencer, look at me." She lifted her head up again.

"I love you too."

Her lips were suddenly so close to me that, if I wanted, I could've touched them right then.

---

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"

And suddenly I woke up, thanks to the stupid radio again. What? Was it just a dream?

I looked around me and found only an empty room. Yeah, just a dream.

I groaned in frustration and buried my head under the pillow, wanting to dream again.

"Mommyyyyy!"Or not.

Amy rushed into my bedroom, climbed into bed, and tried to wake me up.

"Mommy has to wake up," she was saying over and over, shaking me.

I groaned again, my head still under the pillow. "Mommy doesn't want to."

Then Kyla showed up in the doorway. At least I think so, because I heard just her voice. "Ashley, come on. Wake up."

When I heard her stern voice, I was finally able to remove my head from the pillow. As I did that, my eyes were met with amused ones belonged to my daughter.

"Mommy is up?" she asked, all excited.

"Yeah, baby, Mommy is up," I glanced at Kyla still standing in the doorway. "I'm going, Ky." She nodded and left.

My gaze returned to Amy again, who was sitting on my bed in her little PJs, holding her favorite teddy.

"Fluffy is hungry," she pronounced. Oh, yeah I forgot. The teddy has a name.

"Aww, really? So I guess we should feed him, right?"

She quickly nodded.

"But beforeee…" I gave her my evil smile and she already knew what I was going to do. She tried to escape, but I was faster.

"Noo…Mommyyyy," she shrieked as I tickled her.

It was something like our morning ritual. We always tickled each other, every morning, when she was at my place.

---------

"God, I so don't want to go," groaned Kyla as we got out of the car.

We took Amy to Aiden's parents before school. They always looked after her while we were at school. Both Aiden and I were very grateful for it.

I smirked. "Ooh, come on, Ky. We both know you want to."

She glared at me. "No, actually, I don't. I have another test today."

Okay, now I got it.

"Ashley, Kyla!" We turned around and saw Aiden rushing over to us.

"Hey, Aid," we both greeted him and continued to walk with him.

"Guys, have you seen that new boy yet?" he asked after a while, excited.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Aiden, we haven't." Honestly, I wasn't interested at all.

Unlike Kyla, who is just like Aiden. They got to talking about some new "hot" boy while I searched for a certain blonde.

Then I finally spotted her. She was talking with her brother and God, she looked gorgeous.

"Guys, there are Glen and Spencer," I said, interrupting their conversation.

Spencer and Glen seemed to be very concerned about their talk and I really didn't want to bother them, but I had to talk to her. I just had to. They finally noticed us and turned to us.

"Hey guys," said Glen. Spencer just shyly smiled.

"Hey, man. Have you seen that new boy yet?" Aiden hugged him around the shoulders and walked off with him, Kyla joining them.

Oh, didn't I say it yet? Glen knows Aiden is gay and he is totally okay with it. He doesn't know about me, though.

It seemed like I was left alone with Spencer. Not that I have anything against it.

"Hey," I said with a smile.

"Hey." She gave me on of her shy smiles.

"Umm…what do you have now?" I asked, not wanting to stand in silence with her.

"Math," she replied and rolled her eyes.

"Great, me too."

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As the days go by, I was falling for her more and more. She was everything I wanted. Everything I'm not. Smart, funny, shy, beautiful… She was perfect. When we talked during our class or lunch, all I wanted was to kiss her. Nothing more, nothing less. Just one kiss.

I knew I can't, though. She would freak out, for sure. I mean, I don't even know if she's gay. And even if she was… why should she like me?I'm anything but perfect. A gay girl with a daughter with her gay ex-boyfriend. Pleeease. There's no chance she would want me.

"Ashley? Ashley, are you there?"

"Huh? What?" I finally looked at Spencer. "I spaced out, sorry."

She gave me a big smile. God, how I love that smile.

"It's okay, I know that. I just wanted to ask you if you maybe…could give me a ride home? Glen somehow disappeared with your sister and I would like to go home soon. But you don't have to, I was just thinking…"

She would probably keep rambling if I didn't stop her. "Hey, it's okay. I would love to give you a ride."

She smiled again. "Thanks."

-----------

During the ride, we sat mostly in comfortable silence. It didn't bother me at all, though. I don't know why, but with her was everything different. And I've known her for just 3 days.

Finally, I pulled in the driveway and switched off the engine. I had déjà vu, because it was just like yesterday.

She turned to me. "Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

She smiled and got ready to leave the car.

Do something, Davies!

"Umm…"

She stopped.

Umm…?! Say a sentence, loser!

"Umm…I was thinking. Would you…maybe go with me, Kyla and Aiden to Gray tomorrow? It's a club over here," I spat finally out.

She stayed quiet for a moment. I got nervous and wanted to take it back, but then finally she said something.

"I'm not really into that stuff," she began, and my face saddened, "but I would love to go with you." I smiled at her and then she blushed and added, "And with your friends."

I returned the smile. "Okay, cool. I'll call you."

"I can't wait," she replied and got out of the car.

I was grinning the whole ride home. I have a date!

Umm…I mean, it's not a date, we are going with Kyla and Aiden, but still…

I can still hope, right?