Moonlit Nightmares

Chapter 11: Family

Twice on the train to King's Cross Station I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. I was just that nervous to be seeing my parents again and at the prospects this new "school" brought up. It was eerie being on the train alone, but my mind was too preoccupied with what was happening to pay too much attention or enjoy it. I sat in one of the compartments near the front, the door closed and latched to make me feel safer. It didn't.

While I waited I wrote a letter to my uncle. I didn't know how I was going to send it, I highly doubted my parents would let me use their owls, still I had to try. He was my last hope, but he traveled a lot for work and it was hard to track him down. I could only pray I was catching him in-between trips. Then I wrote a letter to Lily and after some consideration, I pulled out another piece of parchment and began to write to Remus.

But after "Dear Remus" I didn't know what to say. To be honest, I knew what to say, I was just too afraid to say it. My hand shook just thinking about him reading the words. You can always write it and not send it, I thought to myself and put quill to parchment.

Dear Remus,

I wish I had been able to say good-bye in person, but I also wanted to thank you. You made an unbearable situation bearable. I just want you to know that, from my side at least, nothing in our relationship was faked. I hope I see you again.

Love,

Lacelin

My hand hovered over the parchment like a claw, ready to descend upon the unsuspecting paper and crumple it into a ball. But I hesitated, and I reread the parchment thousands of times, and finally I decided to just send it. I put his letter with Lily's and shoved them into the opposite pocket from my Uncle's letter. But after a few moments of thought, I took them, folded them as small as I could manage, and tucked them into my bra. I had seen it on Muggle television when I stayed summers with Lily, and I had secretly always wanted to try it.

I was surprised to find my parents waiting for me on the platform, as they usually sent our house elf to collect me. They looked dressed for a funeral, adorned in black and dark emerald robes. My mother's long black hair was thick and perfectly straight, and her eyes were practically silver. My father also had thick black hair, cropped short, but his eyes were black. My mother stood under a large black umbrella even though the sun was hidden behind clouds and there wasn't a threat of rain. My mother always had that umbrella with her; it was how she kept her porcelain complexion perfect.

None of us said anything to each other as I followed them to an obscure place so we could Apparate home. As we entered the front door, the first words came out of my mother's mouth, "Turn out your pockets and hand over your wand."

I pulled my wand out of my robes and placed it on my mother's out-stretched hand and reached into my pockets. I silently cursed myself as I realized I didn't move my letter to my uncle to my bra with Remus and Lily's. Slowly, I pulled it from my pocket.

Patricia Crill snatched the letter away from me, one of her sharp nails scratching my hand, but I knew better than to say anything about it, so I just covered it with my other hand and held them tightly in front of me.

"I should have known," Patricia said curtly as she read the letter. If her lips pursed together any tighter I was sure they would pop off her face. "Appealing to your uncle will do you no good, Lacelin. You are our daughter and we will decide what becomes of you. We know what is best." She handed the letter to my father and then waved her hand toward the stairs, which meant that I was dismissed. I turned and walked stiffly upstairs.

Our house elf, Sassifrus, was in my room with my trunk. It was obvious it was too heavy for him, but he never complained.

"Thank you, Sassifrus," I said sadly. "I could have carried that."

"Never, mistress," Sassifrus said. "It may not be much, but I'm happy you're home."

I smiled, though I knew it was still sad. Sassifrus was my only friend in the house, but we had to be careful that my mother didn't realize it. Anything I told the elf she could demand out of him, so it was a limited friendship. A sharp bell rung through the house, calling Sassifrus out, so I closed my door and flopped down on my bed. I stared up at my ceiling for a long time, and then I started to cry.

=X=

I wasn't called down for dinner like I would have been had this been a normal visit at home. Instead, Sassifrus brought me a tray with a small supper and a cup of pumpkin juice, and a promise to sneak me a large piece of cake later when my parents went to bed.

I had been passing the time doing my Hogwarts homework. It made me feel better, even if I didn't think I'd ever be able to turn it in so it didn't matter if it was completed or not. But it made me feel like I was just on Christmas or summer break and that made me feel calm. But it only lasted until about an hour after dinner when my mom knocked on my door.

"I'm here to tell you good night, and to not bother to unpack anything. You'll be leaving the day after tomorrow for your new school."

She turned to go, not expecting me to speak, but I said, "You mean the asylum, right?" I knew immediately that I shouldn't have said anything, but it just popped out. I tensed, waiting for the blow as she turned to fix me with her cold glare.

"What did you say, young lady?"

"I heard that this school is just a place for families to send relatives they don't want." I had already started digging the hole, might as well make it a good one.

I was apparently on the right track because Patricia's face flushed bright red with anger. "This is a good school for someone like you," she snapped, her teeth clicking together audibly.

"Someone like me? You mean a werewolf?" I said the word as loudly as possible so I could watch her perfect composure break when she cringed. "I know you and dad are disappointed, even disgusted. But I'm still your daughter and I'm still a person and I deserve better than that!"

"Oh, you deserve better, do you?" she asked, her voice dangerously low. "Well, we'll just see what Marcia Spiderpots thinks you deserve, the day after tomorrow. Good night, Lacelin." She turned sharply, marching away so that I couldn't possibly respond. I slammed the door to my room shut and flopped down on my bed. Angry tears burned the sides of my eyes but I didn't let them fall, I glared at my wall.

And made up my mind.

=X=

When Sassifrus brought me my cake I asked him to stay in the kitchen for the next hour so he wouldn't catch me, and therefore wouldn't be lying when he said he didn't see me. He understood by this point in our relationship not to ask questions when I told him to stay somewhere. So after sharing my cake with the elf, he hurried off to the kitchen and I waited a few minutes to give him time to get there. Then I grabbed the two letters plus the replacement I'd written to my uncle and very quietly opened my door.

The house was dark and quiet like I expected. It was hard to see, but I didn't have my wand and I didn't dare turn on any of the lights. I crept along the upstairs hallway slowly, moving toward the stairs leading up to the attic. It had been turned into a mini owlery some years ago for both my parents' owls. The problem was it was directly above their bedroom, and if the owls got loud I would surely be caught.

I desperately wished I had my wand to cast Muffliato. I knew where it was, it was in a glass cabinet in my dad's study, but it was also locked. I just stepped carefully, staying on my toes and putting as little weight onto my foot as possible before taking the next step. The stairs creaked slightly, but it wasn't loud enough to wake the owls so I assumed it wasn't loud enough to wake my parents either.

When I clicked on the light in the owlery both owls immediately woke up, cooing softly and ruffling their feathers in aggravation. "Shh, it's just me Perseus, Demeter." They fixed their large eyes on me and I could see their recognition. They watched me, blessedly silent, as I approached with my letters. It would be faster to send both owls, but my parents would be doubly angry that both were gone. I decided it was a chance I was willing to take. I was hoping the owls would be home by morning anyway.

Quickly and gently, I attached first Lily and Remus's letter to Demeter's leg and sent her off to Hogwarts. Demeter was the fastest, but she tired out over long distances much faster, so Perseus was the better owl to send to my uncle. I had no idea where he was currently, but Perseus would find him. I fed the owl a few pellet treats for the journey and then sent him off. As he took off from the window, his wings spread wide, it felt as though someone had attached my hearts to those owls with string, and they were pulling it out of my chest the further they flew away. I clasped my hands underneath my nose and prayed hard that they made it in time. I just knew once I was in that school I was cut off from the rest of the world.

I turned around to sneak back to my room and stopped dead. My father was standing at the entrance to the owlery in his robe, his wand lit and held above his head so that it perfectly illuminated the livid expression he wore.

My father was a man of few words and that just worked to make him scarier. He marched me down the stairs and the hallway in utter silence, his wand held up to light the way. When I entered my room I turned around to say I was sorry, knowing it would do no good, but my door slammed in my face. I heard an audible click and thud and knew I was locked in.

But my letters were flying, and I had hope.