AN: Sorry about the gigantic wait for this chapter. I've had a lot going on recently with TAFE and family, so while I've been working on this I haven't had much time to finish it up. I'm going to mention a few things before we go ahead. Firstly, it seemed wrong to have Eli and Darcy disclose every detail, so some things have been left out by them. Secondly I'm throwing out a trigger warning on some of the discussions in this chapter dealing with paedophilia. It's a true story from my school years I've given to Eli, so fair warning.

Sorry Eli and I haven't posted in a while, but Mary is staying at Pemberley and we've had flat out at Pemberley. It's been nice but utterly hectic, so I haven't had a chance to write my side of things yet. Mary has been reading our posts, by the way, which somehow surprised us, but what do you expect when you post online?

Eli's helping me with some of the details, as well as writing out the dialogue. I actually went and wrote him a letter and you'll be hearing his reaction to it a little later. He says hi, by the way.

As you can imagine, I didn't cope with rejection well. I don't remember how I got back to Rosings. I remember storming past Richard, slamming my door in his face and yelling at him to go away when he tried to ask me what was wrong. I hid in my room and cried while Richard quickly figured out what had happened and went to find Eli.

All the things Eli had said were going round and round in my head, drowning out my reasoning. I couldn't stand the thought that Eli hated me. I also didn't want to believe anything he'd said about me as a person. It took me a long while to accept it and it didn't happen overnight.

So eventually, not in the best state mind you, I sat myself down and began writing about the points I could contest. In my mind a lot of Eli's hatred stemmed from misunderstanding. Our last conversation had gone terribly and a letter was safe and comfortable.

I started off by stating my opinion on Jane and Charles, which I've already told you about. I won't repeat it here. The second part dealt with what happened between me, my family and George Wickham. Eli's helping me rewrite the letter, so I hope you'll see what it was like for the both of us.

However, we aren't posting everything I told Eli online. Wickham affected a lot of people and they'd rather not have it talked about for personal reasons. If you want any further confirmation of the kind of person he is, you can look up the Victorian court case that put him away for statutory rape.

What follows is roughly what part of the letter contained.

George Wickham was my constant companion throughout my childhood. Our fathers had been friends and George was my father's godson. George's dad died when we were both young, so my father took him under his wing. I do admit I was very jealous when I was younger. George had a talent for attention grabbing and a shy young girl who reminded him too much of his wife wasn't really going to compete.

This made our relationship strained as we got older and my father grew more and more ill. My father only saw the face George presented him. I saw a George who got his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant when he was 17, then pressured her into getting an abortion.

Then eventually when I'd just turned 22 my father died and I was left in charge of both my sister's welfare and Pemberley. I'd always known I'd inherit the estate, but never thought it'd have been so soon. I found it utterly overwhelming.

For the first little while I focused on just keeping us together and didn't bother looking over the estate accounts. Eventually I did find the time, at which point I noticed that despite the fact I'd barely touched them since my father died, there had been a steady number of withdrawals coming out of our accounts. At first I'd thought it was being taken out to pay for bills and repairs, but then I realised the amounts didn't match. Throughout this time Wickham had been busy spending the money on all sorts of things, mostly alcohol and drugs from what I can tell.

There wasn't enough evidence for Wickham to be charged with theft but there was enough for me to sue for him to be removed from the will. George was furious of course, screamed in my face outside of court and then promptly disappeared from my life.

[I actually provided him the case number and other details as well, but I can't be bothered digging them up right now. You can look them up if you have the time and patience.]

By the time I'd finished the letter it was too late in the day to give it to him and besides, I didn't want to end up having another fight. I ignored Richard's questions when I left my room and made excuses to my Aunt. She wasn't happy with me, but then we'd been fighting anyway, so that wasn't a huge change.

I remember driving Richard to the train system later in the evening. He gave me side long glances the entire way and eventually I couldn't take any more of it.

"I'm fine Richard," I said angrily, but I wasn't and we both knew it. My bitterness was seeping through and I think he could tell I blamed him for something, even if he couldn't tell what.

"Something happened between Eli and you, didn't it?" he asked.

"Didn't you ask him?" I snapped, wanting this to all be over.

"I couldn't find him and he wouldn't answer my messages," Richard said. "Darcy, what's going on?"

"It was just a misunderstanding," I said, doing my best to hold back tears. "I'm afraid we had very different ideas about what our relationship was."

"Oh Darcy I'm so sorry," he said, reaching over to touch my shoulder. "If he was only after something casual-"

"No, no, that wasn't it," I said, laughing sadly. "We never had anything. I thought we did, but apparently he had no idea."

"Well maybe-"

"He hates me Richard," I said, cutting him off. "He's friends with George Wickham. Even if he wasn't, he thinks I ruined his sister's relationship with Charles. Something I believe you told him about."

"I'm sorry," he said, shocked at the tone of my voice and I could tell I'd really hurt him.

"No, I'm sorry," I said tiredly. "That was uncalled for. You didn't know because I didn't tell you."

"Do you think you made a mistake?"

"No," I said defensively.

"Clearly Eli thinks you did." I refused to answer and we fell into an awkward silence all the way to the train station. "I'm sorry Darcy. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he said as we pulled up.

"It's okay," I said, trying to smile and failing. "Have a good trip."

"I will," he said. "Hey, Darcy, you know if you need to-"

"Yeah, yeah," I snapped, slightly more affectionately than before. "I'll call if I need to. Just don't talk to Eli about it. I want to handle this myself"

He smiled and I could tell he thought I was making a mistake, but he didn't say anything. "Goodbye Darcy."

"Goodbye Richard," I said, smiling properly this time. "I'll see you in a few weeks?"

"Of course," he said, pulling me into a hug before opening the door. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will," I said, rolling my eyes. "Stop worrying so much."

It was nice to have someone worrying about me, even if I acted like I didn't want it. Honestly, now that I'd written the letter, I was having trouble with the idea of actually delivering it. Despite this, the next morning I went out early to one of Eli's old haunts, in the hopes I'd see him. I figured he wouldn't be expecting me, so I sat down on the bench in the clearing and waited.

I don't remember how long I waited there, but eventually I heard the sound of footsteps behind me and turned around to find Eli trying to back away without being seen.

"Eli!" I said, hoping he wouldn't just walk away. "Listen I know you don't want to talk to me, but can a have a second? Just a second, please?"

I saw him pause and straighten his shoulders before turning back to me. "Alright. What do want Darcy?"

"Could you read this, please?" I said, thrusting the letter forward. "I wanted a chance to explain myself and I know you don't want to talk to me right now."

He looked at it for a moment before stepping forward and taking it. "Sure," he said as he thrust it into one of his coat pockets. "I can do that."

It felt like some sort of peace or truce had been reached. We weren't yelling at each other at least, anyway so I stood up and stepped back towards Rosings. "I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday Eli."

"Thank you," he said, making a clear effort to be polite.

I smiled awkwardly, before turning around and walking a way, feeling a little better, although the truth of Eli's words still ate away at me over the next month. It was better once I left Rosings, but all the little things Eli had said, the ones I couldn't justify or defend, got to me. Eventually I came to doubt my choices surrounding Jane and Charles as well.

I'd always thought of myself as a good person and I'd never really been called on my actions before. I'd been arrogant and judgemental the entire time I'd been around Eli. I couldn't deny it. My reserve didn't excuse me being rude to others, or looking down on them. The worst part was when I realised I had just assumed that Eli was waiting to have me, that he'd accept me if I ever decided I wanted him.

It was hard realising I'd utterly blown my chances, but not as hard as picking up the phone and calling Jane. The worst bit was she didn't even yell at me, she just acted understanding while she cried a bit.

After that, I ended up taking the entire thing as a wake up call and went back to living my life and running Pemberley. I didn't think I'd have the luck to run into Eli again. Thankfully, the number of coincidences that filled our lives arranged for it to happen anyway and I'd been working on improving myself.

So, you've heard the story of Darcy's letter. I remember staring at her as she left and wondering what she could've been thinking. I thought about leaving the letter unopened for a moment before opening it anyway. I was furious about the first part. Once I calmed down I could see what she meant, even if I wasn't happy about it. I almost didn't read the rest of it, but my curiosity and a certain amount of guilt got the better of me. I was a shaking mess by the end of the letter, because I didn't want to believe I'd been taken in again.

When I was at high school there'd been a bus driver that'd seemed to be the greatest guy on Earth. Of course, he'd turned out to be a paedophile. When we'd learnt that it was a surprise, but it made perfect sense. He'd been easy going and friendly, so we'd all overlooked the little signs he'd given, because that's what you do.

My mum thought all of that must have been an act, that his charms were put on and he was only friendly to get what he wanted. I don't think that's the truth. I think his friendliness was just in his nature. There's a distinct difference between 'nice' and 'good'.

The thing is, now I could see that maybe he and George Wickham weren't all that different.

That's why I messaged the Gardiners. I needed to talk about this with someone and given that they'd probably spent more time with George than anyone it only made sense. Isaac messaged me and arranged a time to talk over Skype.

"Hi Eli!" said Ellen enthusiastically when we'd finally set up the call properly. "How's your holiday going?"

"Good," I said, smiling despite my mood.

The Gardiners are two of my favourite people in the world. They're practically family and I've often turned to them for answers when it felt like my parents couldn't give them to me. They're both incredibly sympathetic and level headed. While I love my parents, neither possess both of these traits.

"Good? Just good? Come on Eli, I want details."

I heard the sound of Isaac sitting down next to her. "Hi there Isaac."

"Hi Eli," he said. "Are you okay? You sounded a bit... off."

"Honestly, no, I'm not. That's kind of why I've called."

So I sat there in the living room and unloaded some of what I'd learned about George, omitting some details since they weren't really my business. After I'd finished they were silent for a moment before answering.

"Eli, I'm afraid to say this doesn't surprise us," said Isaac awkwardly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused

"He did the same to us," said Isaac. "We noticed money going missing recently and when we compared our sales records with our takings things showed up. He only started taking larger amounts recently, which was why we picked up on it, but I'm embarrassed I missed it for so long."

I wasn't surprised he had. The Gardiners owned a few stores, as well as having to deal with various warehouses, so he could hardly blame himself.

"Oh god," I said. "I'm so sorry."

"You were as taken in as we were," said Ellen gently. "He blamed the early thefts on you when we confronted him. You have no reason to be sorry."

"Have you called the police?" I asked.

"We talked to them, but he was careful to only take money when other people were on shift, so they won't be pressing charges," said Isaac.

That fit so well with Darcy's account that all my doubt suddenly evaporated. I was distracted from the conversation as I looked back over everything she'd ever told me and I realised that I don't think I'd ever heard her lie.

"Eli? Are you okay?" asked Ellen.

"Sorry," I said awkwardly. "Bit stunned by all this. I mean, I sort of knew, but I didn't want to believe it."

"We're really sorry Eli," she said. "We know he was your friend." She waited for me to say something for a moment, but when I said nothing she continued.

"We've already told your parents and we were going to break it to you the next time we talked, but you kind of jumped the gun on us."

"Thanks," I said. "I'm sorry about all this. I just heard this and I felt I had to check."

We talked for a little while after that before promising to meet up in Derbyshire and saying goodbye. Then I was stuck sitting there in my room at Charlotte's, thinking about Darcy. I didn't want to of course. It meant I had to acknowledge the fact that the only reason I'd ever hated Darcy was that she didn't think I was pretty enough when we first met.

Yes, George was my friend, but that didn't mean much. I've always been a bit of a cynical bastard. If he'd told me the story about someone else, maybe even Caroline, I would've taken it with a grain of salt. But Darcy was the bombshell who'd flicked me off and so I believed every word he'd said. It made me realise some horrible things about myself and I felt thoroughly ashamed.

I was glad when my time with Charlotte and Colin was up. It felt like I needed time on my own to sort everything out. Charlotte kept on asking pointed questions while Colin was as oblivious to everything as ever. Besides that, things between them were getting worse. I couldn't wait to escape the place, and Lady Catherine who managed to be part of the house without ever being present. The ride to the train station was heaven.

"Have a good time in Scotland," said Charlotte, pulling me into a hug just inside the station entrance. It was raining and Colin had stayed at home. "Lord knows why you want to go somewhere so cold, but hopefully you'll enjoy yourself."

"I will," I said, laughing. "Good luck with everything. I hope things settle down soon."

"Oh, I'll be fine," she said unconvincingly. "You just look after yourself. I know you've been down and I think I know why. Just remember, you can phone if you need to."

"I will," I said. "Same here, okay?"

We said our final goodbyes and I was off to Scotland, to have a month alone with my thoughts and the cold. All in all it felt like what I needed.