Chapter Eleven: Coping With the Unexpected

Padmé let out a long sigh, and sank to the floor of the bedroom, her back against the wall. She rubbed at her face, trying to make herself realize what was happening. Pregnant. She was pregnant. How could she be pregnant?

Well, of course she knew how it happened. She actually was pretty sure she knew which time it had happened as well. As her mind flashed back to those memories, she found her cheeks growing heated. How could they have been so careless?

It wasn't that she didn't want another child. She would welcome any child that they had, because she loved Anakin and she loved children. It was just that they hadn't even entertained the possibility of conceiving another. They had both considered themselves too old. And they were… sort of. It was a complicated situation, because they had both been "reborn" in a way. Reborn. How ironic a word she used. Were they old, truly? …It was their children who were getting older; Luke and Leia were already past twenty, and Jinn had kind of been their last surprise, born four years ago. Even if they weren't old, per se, the simple fact was that they had already passed that stage of life. How could she even begin to accept this pregnancy? And what would Anakin say?

What would Anakin say? He would be surprised, no doubt. He had certainly not expected Jinn, and that was four years ago. Padmé knew he would be excited, but she didn't know if she herself was even used to the idea yet. It was a big step forward, and it would define their next few years. It would mean another baby. More maternity clothes. More hormones. A swelling belly. Another labor. More diapers. It was a big responsibility. Padmé sighed. It seemed she and Anakin were very good at this unexpected pregnancy thing.

Realizing her daughter was watching her closely, Padmé tried to pull herself together. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't. She didn't even know why she should cry. She wasn't sad. Just stressed. Stressed at the immensity of the situation.

"Are you going to be okay?" Leia asked her, sitting beside Padmé. She looked very concerned, and her eyes were soft with sympathy.

"It's not that I don't want the baby," Padmé managed to say finally when she could swallow her tears. "I just… wasn't expecting any others."

She felt her daughter squeeze her arm in comfort. It did make her feel better, in a way. "You're already a fantastic mother," she told Padmé. "Anybody would be lucky to have you."

Padmé looked into her daughter's eyes, the comment striking her deeper than she had expected.

"I'm lucky to have you," Leia told her, her expression earnest. "You always give such good advice, and you're there when I need someone. I can come to you whenever I need help."

Padmé reached to touch Leia's face, the smooth skin of her cheek. "You're so special to me, you know that? I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mother," Leia whispered back. "And I know things are difficult right now, but they'll work out."

Padmé sighed softly. "I know." As she stared at her grown-up daughter, she felt immense pride in her and all her accomplishments. A part of her was still sad that she could have never been with her and Luke as they grew up. And although she no longer blamed Vader for that, it still was something deep inside of her that she mourned.

"What do you think Father will say?" Leia asked her softly.

Padmé could not help but give a small smile. "He'll be excited. Surprised, but he'll be excited." Her smile faded a bit. "He was excited for all of his children, especially for you and Luke." He had been. Because it had been their first child together, a manifested sign of their love… How lucky she was to have someone who embraced it all. Padmé hesitated for a moment, and then continued, "He's a good man, Leia. …I know he hasn't always been, but believe me when I tell you he tries. He tries so hard, and he loves us all so much. A part of him is still afraid that he'll go back to what he was before, and it torments and haunts him. A part of him holds back because he's afraid he's hurt you and Luke too much. But never doubt his love."

Leia seemed to be emotionally affected by Padmé's words, because she replied softly, "I won't, Mother."

Padmé nodded, her own throat closing up. Her nervousness was not disappearing, but she found that she was more at peace with the whole idea herself. She would tell Anakin as soon as she could. If she summoned the courage.

It was about 2000 hours when Luke, Anakin, and Han trudged back into the apartment. Trudged was the perfect word, Padmé observed with a hint of humor, because all three looked tired beyond words as she watched them slowly make their way back in.

Knowing that they were probably hungry, Padmé immediately led them into the kitchen, hoping that a hearty meal would stir some energy into them. She was also very eager to hear what they might have discovered.

Padmé could not help it; as the three headed into the dining room, she shot short glances in Anakin's direction, hoping to gauge his mood. Now that she knew of her pregnancy, she was anxious to tell him, but a part of her was still scared at his reaction. As she watched him sit at the table with their son and Han, a part of her could not help but feel guilty. It was heavily ironic what he was ignorant of. He had no idea what she had found out in his absence. He had no idea that their lives would soon change drastically, that he had fathered another child.

Padmé was drawn out of her thoughts by the entrance of Jinn, who had apparently heard the noisy return and wished to take part in the action.

Jinn's face lit up when he set eyes on his father, and he immediately went over to him.

Even though Padmé could tell that Anakin was exhausted, a brilliant smile spread across his face. Padmé could see hints of fatigue in his features, but that did not stop him from picking Jinn up and setting him on his lap. The boy beamed in the presence of his father, looking up to Anakin in admiration.

Padmé was warmed at the sight, and she felt herself calming somewhat. Even though she was still worried, in the depths of her heart she knew that Anakin was a good father, and that he would love whatever child they had.

Drawing his attention from the conversation that was currently occupying the table, Anakin looked down at his son and asked him with a small, knowing smile, "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Jinn shook his head stubbornly, even though Padmé could read sleepiness in him as well.

Anakin smiled tiredly. "You can stay up until dinner is over, okay?" he told him. "Then it's bedtime for you."

Jinn seemed to be satisfied with the extra time, and he wrapped his arms around his father's neck, content to settle in Anakin's embrace as the conversation turned to adult topics.

"We accessed the records of a nearby security holocamera," Luke was telling his sister across the table when Padmé turned her attention to the rest of the family. "Although the whole film was quite chaotic," he continued, "By chance Father was able to identify the assassin as Mara Jade. Apparently she was one of the Emperor's hands, and a galactic assassin and spy."

"And you're sure that this is the same assassin?" Leia asked him, glancing sideways at Anakin for confirmation.

"It's a strange coincidence that she was at the right place at the right time," Luke replied for his father.

"Were you able to locate her?"

Luke shook his head, tapping his fork subconsciously on the table in an action of impatience. "We have no leads so far," he admitted.

"Then how will you track her?" Leia asked him, her gaze darting from Luke to Anakin and Han.

"We have a theory," Han began, leaning back in his chair as he pushed his plate away from himself, "That the next strike will be at the Senate meeting in a day, when they will present the anti-slavery bill."

Padmé glanced at him in surprise, and Leia asked him in astonishment, "You think they would try that in front of the entire Senate?"

Han looked grim. "She's trying to make a statement. It's the perfect stage for such a demonstration."

"Who do you think will be targeted?" Padmé asked them. There were many writers of the bill, how could they possibly able to predict who would become victim?

Luke shook his head. "We don't know yet," he admitted. "But it's bound to get messy."