Disclaimers: All characters are belong to Dick Wolf. This is just for fun, not profit.
Author's Note: Enjoy, and please review! I won't hold the story hostage for comments, but I would like to know what you think and what you think should happen!
Irene22, Bkwrmchar, Tammy, other kind reviewers: thanks for your kind words and your reviews. They're greatly appreciated! I've been a L&O SVU fan since the beginning, and I cried so hard when Alex went into WPP (I was 14 or 15 at the time!) and I think I've been in love with her forever. I still want to be her when I grow up :-). But I just discovered the concept of fanfiction recently, and I love it. Hopefully I'll be writing more stories in the future.
Alex gripped Olivia's hand as they walked the last few blocks to O'Malley's, her eyes darting around as she tried to study each person on the street to identify threats. She ducked behind a parked car when a black SUV turned the corner and drove past the bar, then collapsed on the ground, winced in pain, and started hyperventilating.
Olivia crouched in front of her, taking her hand and rubbing her back. "Alex, can you hear me? It's Liv. It was just a car that drove by. You're safe. Lex, you're here with me and you're safe. Take a deep breath. That's it. Deep breaths."
Alex slowly regulated her breathing and opened her eyes, looking at Olivia. "I'm sorry," she whispered, tears forming. "I didn't mean to freak out like that."
"Lex, it's okay. It's just a panic attack. I thought this might happen. I had them too, the first few times I came back to the bar after you were shot."
Alex moaned in pain as she shifted on the pavement. "Ouch. Can you help me get up, Liv, before I keep embarrassing myself?"
"You're in New York, sweetie. Nobody even noticed. Besides, this is why everyone's meeting us in 20 minutes, so they wouldn't see this. Nobody we know is here." Olivia smiled and put her arms around Alex to help her stand up, and kept rubbing her back and reassuring her.
Alex stood still, looking around the corner where the SUV had come from that night, and followed its trajectory with her eyes. She held her breath as she saw the gun come out of the window, felt a pain in her shoulder, and brought Olivia's hand up to where the bullet had entered her, holding it in place with her own.
"I don't think I ever got a chance to say thanks for saving my life, Liv." Alex spoke softly, still staring out at the spot where the gun had appeared.
"My pleasure," Olivia murmured. "I would have been devastated if you hadn't… I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."
"I know. That's why I made the Marshals let me see you. I didn't want you to feel responsible for my death."
They stood there, quietly, for a few minutes, their hands on Alex's shoulder, until Olivia squeezed it. "You okay to go in and get a table now?"
Alex cried out in pain.
"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, Lex. Did I hurt you?" She took her hand away from her shoulder and looked into Alex's blue eyes, which were filling with tears again.
"Aïe, sorry, Liv, it's just… I never regained full mobility in my arm, and last night…"
"Robert re-injured it. Alex, I didn't think. I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was hurting. Why didn't you have the doctor look at it last night?"
"It hurt when he tied me up, and then other things hurt more, and the ibuprofen helped, and then this morning it was stiff, but I didn't really have to use it today." She began massaging it with the fingers of her left hand.
"Here, let me," Olivia said, touching gently. "We'll put some ice on it when we get home, okay? You should have told me it was bothering you." She wiped a tear off Alex's cheek, then pulled her into a hug.
"Really, Olivia? It certainly didn't take you long!" Olivia pulled out of her hug with Alex to see Jenna standing next to them with her arms crossed.
"Jenna, it's not what it looks like," Olivia began.
"Really? Because it looks like you're making out with another woman less than 6 hours after we broke up. Care to explain that?" Jenna was practically spitting.
"Jenna, this is my friend Alex. We're not together." Olivia wasn't sure how much of Alex's story to tell.
Alex wiped a tear from her eye and reached out to put her hand gently on Jenna's crossed arms. "Jenna, Olivia's just my friend. I'm staying with her since I ended up in the hospital last night and left my fiancé." She looked into Jenna's eyes, which were starting to soften, and lowered her voice. "We've been friends for eight years. A few years ago, I was shot outside this bar. Liv was there and she saved my life. I had to leave the city for a while. This is the first time I've been back here since, and I had a bit of a panic attack. That's all that was going on."
Jenna looked embarrassed. "Oh," was all she managed to say. She swallowed and looked away. "I better get going, then. I'm sorry."
Alex held onto her arm. "Wait," she said. "Why don't you come have a drink with us inside? We're meeting some of Olivia's colleagues for a drink. I used to work with them. Liv?"
Olivia nodded. "Yeah, come have a drink with us," she choked out, sounding unsure. "But I have to warn you, they can be pretty brutal, especially Elliot. And you should know I've never introduced them to anyone before."
Jenna contemplated the offer. "If you're uncomfortable introducing me, I understand. We can do drinks another time. I'm sorry I overreacted."
Olivia stepped closer and reached out to take Jenna's hand and squeeze it. "I usually prefer to keep my personal life personal. But it's okay. They won't bite. It's up to you."
"Okay, as long as you're sure."
"I'm sure. Come on." Olivia turned to look at Alex. "Are you ready to go in?"
Alex's eyes followed the phantom SUV and gunshot once more, pressing her hand to her throbbing shoulder again, before looking at Jenna, then Olivia. "Yeah. I'm okay. Let's go in."
The women went to the back of the bar and took a large booth. The bartender did a double take when he came over to take their order.
"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" he asked incredulously.
Alex laughed. "Not anymore, Tom. The cartel is dead, as of almost a year ago. I just didn't have the guts to come back here before now."
"Well, welcome back, Ms. Cabot. It's not every day a beautiful woman who bled out on our sidewalk in front of a hundred cops comes back from the dead. What are you drinking? It's on the house."
"It's Alex, please. Ms. Cabot is for court. And I think I'll stick to Diet Coke for tonight, thanks." She flashed a smile at the bartender.
"Diet Coke it is. And for you ladies?" Tom asked.
Olivia looked at Jenna, who nodded. "We'll get a pitcher of Sam Adams, please. The guys are meeting us, so bring -" she counted on her fingers "5 glasses."
"Coming right up, Detective," Tom said, winking at her. "And good to see you again, Counselor."
"Thanks Tom," Olivia replied.
Alex adjusted her glasses, pushed her hair behind her right ear, and folded her hands on the table, studying Jenna. "So," she said, finally breaking the silence. "I think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Alexandra Cabot, and I work for the District Attorney's office. I used to be the prosecutor working with Olivia's squad. You can call me Alex." She held out her hand for Jenna to shake.
"Alex, I'm so sorry I jumped to conclusions. I'm Jenna McFarlane. I work in advertising. Nothing glamorous."
"Nice to meet you, Jenna. How did you meet Olivia?"
"We kept bumping into each other at a yoga class at that place on 75th and Amsterdam. We got coffee afterwards a few times… Oh, THAT'S why you look familiar! You're that ADA who got killed a few years ago when you tried to take down the Colombian drug cartel. I read six newspapers a day for my job. You were front page news for weeks."
Alex smiled shyly and blushed. "That's me."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to get excited. I was just confused when you said you had been shot, and then the bartender said you were dead, and… I'm sorry, I'm babbling. So what happened to you? How are you alive?"
Alex started to answer, but Tom came back with their drinks, followed by Fin, Munch, and Elliot. Saved by the bell, she thought.
"Teflon!" Munch cried, as Alex stood up to hug each of the men. She only flinched slightly at their touch, then sat back down.
Olivia squeezed Jenna's knee under the table and introduced her coworkers. "Jenna, these are Detectives Munch and Fin, and my partner, Elliot Stabler. Guys, this is Jenna," she said, not wanting to clarify the relationship. She wasn't sure where she stood with Jenna since their two break-up talks and their encounter on the sidewalk, and she definitely didn't want to explain it to the guys.
Munch and Fin looked at each other, and Munch gestured with his fingers. Fin groaned and pulled a bill out of his wallet and handed it to his partner.
"Hey!" Olivia cried, grabbing the bill from Munch's hand. "What the hell is this? Were you betting on my personal life?"
Munch and Fin looked at each other, then back at Olivia.
"How long?" she demanded.
"Well, I started working with you guys almost 8 years ago, so… 8 years?" Fin answered.
"Fine." She pointed at Munch. "You won? You're putting this towards our drinks." She put the bill down on the table.
Munch looked at Alex. "How long have you known?"
"Well, I started working with you guys at the same time as Fin, so… 8 years?"
"Damn. Cabot really does know everything." Fin commented.
"I'm glad you finally believe me," Alex joked. "It took you long enough."
Munch and Fin both looked at Elliot. "Did you know about this?"
"That Cabot knows everything? Or about Liv?" Elliot smirked. "I think I'm going to invoke my 5th amendment right against self-incrimination."
"You can't invoke, Stabler. You're a witness, not a defendant. You're not protected by the 5th amendment." Alex countered.
"Fine. Then, yes, I knew that Cabot knows everything. She told us so the first time she walked into the precinct after the Morris Commission." Elliot said.
Alex laughed. "Oh, God, I was such a bitch."
"No, you were passionate and stubborn. That's what made you and Liv such a great team," Munch teased. "I hope that hasn't changed, Counselor?"
Alex shook her head. "Nope. Still just as stubborn."
"And about Liv?" Fin asked.
"Yeah, El knew. Pretty much since we became partners," Olivia said.
"You could have settled our bet years ago! Bastard!" Munch replied.
"Liv asked me not too. Said she wanted to keep her personal life personal. I respected that," Elliot explained. "Besides, it was fun to listen you two speculate. Nothing like Munch's conspiracy theories."
"But what about all those boyfriends? The guy from the Ledger? The other guy, the one from when you took the 911 call from the victim of that kiddie porn guy?" Fin asked.
"Oh, that was the case where you guys busted the guy from Montreal who had that girl in his basement for years, the one who took hundreds of pictures and posted them online?" Alex started getting excited.
"First of all, those were the same guy, Kurt Moss. I dated him for 6 months, until around the time I came back from the undercover op in Sealview. Second, I'm bi. I've dated both men and women. And third, we're done talking about my personal life."
Olivia thought that Casey couldn't have picked a better moment to come in and interrupt the conversation. "Sorry, guys, I got caught up talking to Liz Donnelly." Casey held out her hand to Jenna.
"You heard about that?" Olivia asked, surprised.
"Of course! It was national news. I was in Charleston at the time. Liv, your picture was in the paper. I cut out the article and saved it. I was actually on a date when the story broke on the TV in the bar, and I had a bit of a rough time explaining why I was so interested in this random case from a city I'd supposedly never visited."
"Jenna, this is Casey Novak, our ADA who replaced Alex while she was dead. Case, this is Jenna McFarlane." Olivia looked away from Alex to introduce Jenna.
"Now we all know that I could never dream of replacing Alex," Casey offered, shaking Jenna's hand. "Nice to meet you."
"They know that. They just want you to feel loved so you'll get them their warrants," Alex quipped.
"I see how it is," Casey replied, laughing.
"Casey, did you know about Liv?" Fin asked.
"Case, we were just discussing how we're done discussing my personal life. And yes, she did know. Now can we move on, please?" Olivia was starting to get frustrated. She hadn't wanted Jenna to feel pressured by meeting everyone. She smiled at her and put her hand on Jenna's knee to reassure her, but Jenna just looked amused. She'd once told Olivia that she didn't mind hanging out with big groups of people, but wasn't very talkative with people she didn't know well.
"Any good lawyer would argue that you opened the door to that line of questioning when you invited Jenna to join us, Detective Benson," Casey said. "But your objection is sustained." Casey sat down next to Alex and pointed at the Coke as she poured her own beer from the pitcher on the table and took a sip. "No beer? I thought you could use a drink after the day you've had."
Alex shrugged. "I'm on some pain medication, so I'm trying to be kind to my liver," she explained. Olivia arched her eyebrow at Alex, but didn't say anything. Alex wasn't taking anything stronger than ibuprofen as far as she knew.
"So, Case, how's Donnelley? Elliot asked.
"She's fine. We'll be working together on the Sheldon case. He can afford any defense attorney in town, and since Alex is technically my boss, we want to be really careful on this one. Alex, Liz was going to talk to Branch this afternoon, just to let him know what's going on. And," she pointed at Alex, "You're not expected back in the office for at least a week, if not two."
Jenna leaned over and whispered in Olivia's ear. "Is that Alex's fiancé who attacked her?" Olivia nodded, and Jenna looked confused. "I thought you guys only did sex crimes, like rape. You just said Alex was hurt…" A flash of understanding crossed her face.
"Jen, I'm sorry I wasn't clear before, but that's usually what we mean when we say someone was 'attacked.' It's a euphemism of sorts, I suppose." Olivia murmured.
"Who do you think will represent him?" Elliot asked.
"As far as I know, he doesn't have a criminal defense attorney on retainer," Alex began. "But I think it will depend on his defense strategy."
"You think he's going to go for 'reason of mental disease or defect'?" Munch asked.
"I think I'm the one who should claim insanity for getting involved with him in the first place," Alex replied. "But considering he's at least partially mentally competent and I told him he was raping me and to stop many times, I doubt that defense would get past a judge."
"Alex, just so you know, none of us have read your statement or the medical reports yet. We thought we'd wait until Warner comes back, so you could have a few days of privacy before we dig in your business." Fin explained.
"Thanks, guys." Alex said softly.
Casey reached over the table and took her hand. "Liz and I read it, and we went over what you said this afternoon," Casey said, and immediately regretted her earlier comment about Alex's beverage choice. "And I thought you should know that Langan called this afternoon. Apparently Robert tried to hire his firm, and he refused. He said he'd call around and try to have him blacklisted. Maybe he'll end up with a public defender."
"Nah, he's worth millions. Some scumbag will defend him for the right price," Munch replied.
"Langan's probably still carrying a flame for Alex from that date all those years ago. That's why he won't defend Robert." Elliot winked at Alex.
"For the record, that was not a date, it was a business dinner. And how do you know how much Robert is worth?" Alex said. Munch smiled cryptically.
"Well, Novak will wipe the floor with whoever defends him." Fin said.
"And Liz." Casey squeezed Alex's hand again. She didn't want to spend too much time talking about the case. Alex had already dealt with enough that day, she thought. And the more they talked about potential defense attorneys and strategies, the harder it would be to ignore the interesting angle to the case that Liz had discussed with her after they'd left Olivia's apartment that afternoon.
"And why don't you dress up like that for us when we have 'business dinners'?" Elliot retorted.
"Because I'm not trying to make you jealous? I actually did date Trevor, in law school, and I'll have you know that he didn't get past a kiss on the third date and he used entirely too much tongue." Alex took a sip of her drink to hide her smirk.
"El, close your mouth and stop drooling," Olivia said. "It's unbecoming. Don't you have a wife to get home to or something?"
"Oh shit! Thanks, Liv. I'm supposed to meet Kathy for dinner in 45 minutes." Elliot replied, getting up.
"Casey, I think you'll wipe the floor with him, and then Liz will put his balls in a cheese grater and grind them over her Wheaties." Olivia said.
"Well, she is my godmother, you know. And he would deserve it," Alex said.
Olivia looked at Elliot. "Don't forget flowers. Get her some orange blossoms. For 'eternal love' and 'fruitfulness'," Olivia winked. "Or some orange roses for desire."
"Who knew you were such a romantic, Liv? I think I'll go with the roses. God knows we don't need any more fruitfulness!" Elliot smirked.
Olivia laughed. "Oh, this has nothing to do with romance. I just know you'll be more tolerable if you get laid. Go get her, partner. My love to Kathy and the kids."
Elliot got up and reached over to shake Jenna's hand. "It was nice to meet you, Jenna." He reached over to put his hand on Olivia's shoulder and squeezed it. "Liv, take good care of Cabot. Cabot, it's good to have you back. Don't forget, you're family, and there's a long line of people ready to kick this guy's ass. And keep Liv out of trouble while she's off this week."
Alex nodded and smiled. "Will do. Thanks, Stabler."
"So, Cabot, what can you tell me about Area 51?"
Alex laughed. "John, Witsec sent me to Milwaukee, Portland, Bloomington, and Charleston. I know nothing about Area 51. And if I did, it would be classified." She winked.
"Portland wasn't too bad, was it?" Olivia asked. "I was there for a few weeks about a year ago on an ecoterrorism case with Dana Lewis from the FBI. They had me buying organic produce, giving up soda, and protesting estrogen feminizing the fish in the Great Lakes."
Everyone laughed. "Portland wasn't so bad, but I wasn't even there for 3 months. And Bloomington was okay, for Indiana. It's a college town, so it's pretty liberal. But Charleston was horrible. I was just outside the city, I couldn't go anywhere without a car, and the only social activities in town were through the churches. They had me singing in the choir and doing potlucks and everything."
"Alexandra Cabot, Church Lady. I can hardly believe it." Casey said dryly.
"The church ladies were nice enough, actually. I made some friends. Got a chance to play some music. The Feds let me have a violin, but not a piano. Can you believe a Steinway isn't in the witness protection budget?"
"Our tax dollars at work," Munch said.
"So I played a bit at the church, and played in a handbell choir, and made lasagna and macaroni salad for potlucks. It was horribly suburban. I even went to Bible Study. Although that - they kicked me out after three meetings because they didn't like my literary analysis. I was 'too argumentative' for their group."
Casey laughed. "Now that I can believe. Sometimes I think being a lawyer and being Catholic don't really mix."
Munch and Fin got up to leave. "Well, ladies, it's been fun, but we're catching tonight, so we have to go back to the house." Munch said.
"We'll see you soon. Nice to meet you, Jenna. And Cabot, we got your back." Alex smiled and nodded in thanks, waving goodbye.
The remaining women sat in silence for a few minutes, studying the remnants of their drinks. "Well, now that it's just us girls, and I'm the only cop left, we're probably going to start getting hit on." Olivia said. "And our beer is gone, and we haven't eaten. I have a bottle of wine in my fridge. Do you want to come back to my place and get some takeout?" She looked at Alex. "Lex, you up for more company? Not too tired?"
"I'm okay. I have to take some more meds, but this is a nice distraction. I'm not staying up too late, though."
"We won't stay too late, then," Casey reassured her. "I know you need your beauty rest. We'll have some dinner and some wine, then go home."
"Sounds good to me," Jenna added.
"OK, let's just pay for our drinks, I'll call in an order to the place by my apartment, and we can walk over and it'll be ready by the time we get there? How does that sound?" Olivia asked, and the other women nodded in agreement.
They dropped some money on the table as Olivia called in their food order, and then got up to put on their jackets. It was dark out now, and Alex was apprehensive as she walked back towards the door. She had forgotten her nervousness inside, surrounded by cops and her friends.
Olivia sensed her tension and put an arm around Alex's back. "Lex, I've got you. You're okay. It's safe now, remember?" She whispered reassuring words in Alex's ear as they exited the bar. Alex stopped again, outside, scanning the street for a black SUV, and exhaling when she saw the street was clear. Olivia continued murmuring instructions to breathe and stay calm until they got a few blocks away, and Alex relaxed noticeably, breathing a deep sigh of relief.