Chapter Eleven – Apocalypse Lullaby
Sometime in the early hours of the morning, Lucifer had trekked back to the falls to bring Thomas' body up to the house; if they were going to give Grace a hunter's funeral (he overheard Cas and Dean mention a pyre from the other balcony the night before), they might as well give her brother one too, so that no other foul creature could use him like Creed had. He laid the boy on the flattest spot he could find, and went back to the forest to start the search for firewood and to clear his mind as best he could. The others could join at their leisure, because he wasn't about to wake anyone up just so he could see their dejected faces all day. No thanks, he could use a mirror for that.
He was in the midst of trying to hum that song Grace had been singing the night they ran from Georgia – he didn't know the whole thing, so he was just guessing based on what he remembered – when he heard something he thought he'd never hear as long as he lived.
"Lucifer! Come here!" Sam yelled down the hollow, beckoning frantically for him to come to him. He didn't sound scared, or like something was wrong, (or like he was drunk, which was Lucifer's initial thought when he saw who was calling), but he didn't bother to explain before he ducked back inside.
The angel trudged back up the hill with an exhausted sigh and let the door swing shut behind him on his way in, "What is it?" he asked when he found Sam coming out of the living room.
"You're not gonna believe this."
"Try me…" The younger Winchester didn't say anything back, and instead lead the oldest angel upstairs into what had been her art studio/book and movie library. The others were gathered there waiting for them, as well as the second surprise of the morning, "Dad?!"
Lo and behold, there stood Chuck at the center of the room with His arms crossed over His chest and a unusual scowl on His face. Lucifer wasn't sure what was more confusing, the fact that He was frowning so deeply or that everyone else was trying not to laugh at Him.
"If you'll pardon the expression, what the hell are you doing here?" he mirrored his father's posture. They were both not in the mood for any more nonsense today. He didn't feel as angry as he thought he would the next time they met though…but that was probably because he was trying not to feel anything at the moment. He'd felt more than enough in the hours prior.
Chuck seemed to explode the moment His son spoke, like He'd been restraining Himself for a lot longer than He should have, "Who me? Oh nothing, just thought I'd drop by for a visit…and y'know, to tell you to come get something you seem to have unwittingly sent back to my place."
"Uhm…?"
"I'll give you a hint, she's been viciously quoting several of my books at me, one of which I wish I'd never written in the first place. She's also frequently reminded me that I won't be winning any parenting awards any time soon." He added to clear up any confusion, "Sound familiar? Anybody?"
There was no way…they…he couldn't be this lucky. Lucifer pushed that foolish surge of hope down. She was gone. Forever. On the other side. In that great cabin in the sky. She had passed on to…oh, yeah. Duh.
He let go and cautiously let the hope spread back through him. It was all he could do to contain himself; there was a possibility (and it sounded like a fairly good one, judging by Chuck's apparent irritation with her) that she could come back for real. But that was no reason that he couldn't get back dear ol' pop for keeping this a secret until now; He'd let him suffer, now it was His turn, "Uh, no. Doesn't sound like anyone I know. Guys?"
"Doesn't ring any bells." Crowley responded nonchalantly, quickly catching on.
Rowena pretended not to hear either question.
"Nope." Gabriel struggled to conceal a grin that matched his brother's.
Cas shook his head a little too quickly to be convincing.
"Nu-uh." Dean shrugged, and Sam mimicked him.
Nox purriped and went back to grooming himself. Dean would have been a sneezing mess in his presence were it not for Gabriel, who used his angelic powers to cure him of his cat allergy for the simple reason that the sound annoyed him so profoundly.
Chuck's voice shot up a few bars in frustration, "Oh come on! You know exactly who I mean!" the look of utter betrayal looked strange (but still funny) on Him, "Look, I know my apology sucked, I know I-I went back on it and I shouldn't have…she told me that so many times I lost track…but I want to make up for it. Grace won't let me have any peace until she thinks I have…and rightfully so, I guess."
Lucifer cast another subtly mischievous look around the room, willing anyone to speak up, "Should we really turn that wicked girl loose on the world again?" Rowena inspected her fingernails for dirt or chips in the paint, "Does anyone really deserve that fate?"
"Might I be so bold as to say that I don't?!" Chuck objected, "She hasn't left me alone for almost three days straight. Four more and I'm entitled to another vacation!"
"So," Sam did the math in his head, smart little moose that he was, "she's been with you since Michael killed her?" Chuck nodded, explaining that He and Amara had been trying to fix the Gates when They noticed what had happened with her and Michael, and that He'd reached down and grabbed her before the archangel had been able to do anything to her, "Why didn't you send her back sooner though?"
"I wasn't going to send her back with Creed chasing after her too, though in hindsight she probably could have handled him…" He mused regretfully. The question of 'why didn't you help us with the rest of this mess' didn't have to be spoken aloud for Chuck to answer, "And I knew you all could handle what was going on. You always do."
What other choice was there? They had to handle it because no one else would. Or could.
"Does she want to come back?" Lucifer asked, relaying to the others what Creed had said about her being reunited with her brother; maybe she did want that more than she wanted them, "I mean if she's fine where she is-" Dude, for once, shut up. He scolded himself, For your own good. If she doesn't come back you'll just mope and skulk around up here all alone, wishing you'd shut your mouth when you had the chance. Has she taught you nothing of leaving the past in the past and reinventing yourself, even if it's stupidly dangerous and puts everyone around you at risk? I'm sure that wasn't the point she was trying to make but I digress…
"She hasn't stopped asking to come home to you guys…she's not done on Earth yet, just like Death said. It wasn't her time to go, and it hopefully won't be for a very, very long time." Pondering the idea of her fate being otherwise made Chuck's head hurt to even consider.
Gabriel did nothing to hide his laughter now, there was just no use, "Jeez Dad, were you just letting her run loose in Heaven? Why didn't you stick her in her own little corner if she was bugging you so much?"
"Because 'her little corner' isn't done yet! I just said she wasn't supposed to be there!" He defended His course of action vehemently; the original plan was for her to just chill with the twin deities while They fixed the Gates so everyone ("Yes, son, I mean everyone.") could come home and waited for everything on Earth to settle down, but the "chill" memo had been lost in translation. Oh, she was fascinated with Joshua and all the other angels up there, and just couldn't get over meeting Amara ("Said she was a great example to follow! A great role model for forgiveness!"), but the minute Chuck spoke to her it was like she turned to ice. A small, sharp, very angry piece of ice.
"Guess she thinks I don't beat myself up enough about my mistakes…" Chuck added softly, scratching the back of His neck, "I know now that bringing Michael back in that condition was a bad idea…and there are so many other things I could've done differently. But I can't go back and fix any of it without changing something else, and well… from here on out, I'll…I'll just try to be better the first time. Okay?" None of the angels spoke in reply, but they all exchanged a meaningful glance with one another and their Father. He had admitted to making mistakes…sincerely admitted to it and sounded like He regretted them. It was a step further than some of them ever expected to go.
"Sounds like you finally learned your lesson Dad, so I guess we'll take her back." Lucifer said, hoping that their bunch wouldn't get chewed out for wrecking her house or harassing her cat. He could only hope no one had hurt her car either, as he hadn't seen it since he bolted from the Bunker.
"Thought you might say that…wait here." Chuck disappeared down the hallway as if He were heading into the back bedroom.
Silence danced with nerves from one wall to the other and back. Rowena broke its spell and wondered aloud who was going to point out to Grace the fact that she could've gotten them all killed just by keeping her secrets from them; no one volunteered, because if she was versed well enough in the book series that she could quote it back to the author, she could shoot them all down with examples of themselves too. If she wanted to talk about it, that was fine, but they weren't going to push the matter and ruin a rare moment.
Muffled voices soon pricked at the more sensitive ears in the room; one was low and reassuring, the other uncertain and quiet, and a little ragged. Their footsteps were faint and slow, the floorboards barely creaking under their weight.
Amara peeked in first, having taken Her brother's place, "Hello everyone…" Her hair was longer than Dean remembered, her dress was a different color too. She didn't seem quite as all-powerful or incredibly threatening when She was smiling that way either. She looked happy. Their eyes met across the room, and both were amazed (and grateful) that there was no longer a primeval curse pulling them together. Still, it was strange to just be that close and not feel the Mark; there were no remnants of it for either to contend with.
There was, however, a certain archangel raising his eyebrows and winking at the pair, which both chose to ignore.
Grace came in a moment later, as Amara gently tugged her inside the room, "I can't stay for long, but she can, now…hopefully the next time I see you all will just be for a visit." She told the Winchester boys to say hello to their mother for her next time they spoke, told Her nephews to behave themselves, gave the Macleods a friendly nod, and then was gone.
There was no evidence Grace had ever been injured, much less killed, and her clothes had even changed from the white gown to a ground-sweeping skirt and loose poet's shirt. Her feet were bare, which explained why her approach had been so soft. Another reason soon became evident; she hadn't run down the hall yelling for them because she had come through the doorway from Heaven and seen herself…she had started crying, and hadn't stopped just yet. Her tears were of relief that she was back, but also of regret that she had left them all with her past's baggage, and some of them were of fear that they would all hate her for it (she didn't believe Chuck when He said they didn't), but most of them were of anger at herself for not being totally honest about who she was. They had all trusted her to help them, and she had not reciprocated equally until it was almost too late.
Sorry didn't quite cover what she wanted to tell them, but she had to start somewhere, just like everyone else. She couldn't waste this second chance, lest she be the target of wrath rather than the deliverer, "Y'all, I…I'm sorry you got mixed up with all my mess. I should've told you, I shouldn't have…I just didn't want to throw my problems on top of dealing with Michael. I thought it could wait…thought we were safe." She took a deep breath to steady herself.
"And I suppose y'didn't want us to know just how powerful you really were, did ya?" Rowena chimed in, earning herself quite a few glares, though none were from Grace herself.
"You're right, I didn't." Grace agreed, startling the older witch, "I didn't want to give you expectations that I couldn't live up to. I've been used for my powers enough to know not to show my whole hand…but I should have trusted y'all more than that." She worried at her hair, combing her fingers through the ends and pulling some of the curl out of it. She only stopped when her eyes fell on Lucifer.
His eyes weren't burning red with fury, nor were tears falling from them. He looked afraid, for lack of a better word…afraid that Grace would disappear if he came any closer. He was rooted in place within arm's reach of her, not daring to move. She looked at him the same way she had when they argued over her sincerity before, unwaveringly despite the tears.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"
"Yeah, so am I." her heart sank, expecting him – and everyone else in the room – to tell her how much they regretted trusting her and spending time working with her that could've been spent elsewhere. She waited to be cast out of the group, for them to all storm out and leave her in an empty cabin alone in the mountains. But that's not what happened, and she silently thanked Chuck and Amara both, "We…I should have protected you. I owe you that much at least, and you know I don't say that lightly. You…you're the only human that ever actually cared about me…not who or what I was, but me. But even though I am what I am, I couldn't keep you safe and I'm sorry that I lost you. This…this is my fault, same as yours." Did those words really just come out of my mouth? Wow, look at me getting all noble and taking responsibility. That's partially her fault too. Everybody heard that, right? Dad, Sam, Gabe?
Grace took another deep breath and glanced around the room cautiously before coming back to him, "Do…do you forgive me?" everyone assured her that they harbored no lasting ill will against her; Rowena's indifference (she was just mad that Michael had come after her, and wasn't concerned with avenging anything but her own pride) was comforting in its own way too.
Lucifer found himself nodding without hesitation before turning the question back on her, "And you forgive me, Gracie? For being a terrible guardian angel?" he could feel some eyes rolling behind him just like he felt tears clawing at the corner of his own, but he didn't care about either. Inappropriately-timed humor and scathing sarcasm were his thing, and he wasn't one to restrain any of his emotions, good or bad, and they all knew that.
"Of course, I forgive you…"Grace finally let herself smile, ever so slightly. They crashed together and didn't let go for a long time; the top of her head barely came up to his shoulders, and she felt even smaller than she looked.
He hadn't expected her answer to be so quick and sure, but then again, he hadn't expected very many of the things that had happened here lately…
The victories and reunion called for a celebration, but it was declared that this would be held off until the funerals for Thomas (his body at least; Grace confirmed that he had moved on long before Lucifer killed the demon that had taken over) and Adam were done. Gabriel and Lucifer had gone back to Grace's to get him before anyone could discover the body and start asking questions. They did their best to tidy up too, but the presence of the broken boy that had been his body was a little more than unnerving. Adam was so young, still a boy in many ways, and Michael had been older than all of them. It was so strange a pair that it was hard to reconcile the face they saw with who had been behind it. It didn't help to think that at one time, it could have been Dean lying there.
Gabe stood over the remains of one of the most fearsome warriors to ever live, and then turned to his other brother, "Were you the one…?"
"No. I couldn't." he remembered the panicked moment he thought he was going to be responsible for two more deaths because he couldn't bring himself to drive the blade home. Michael was still family, and some deep down desperate thing still wanted to save him somehow. However, it became clear what had to be done when Lucifer saw Dean's face as he watched Castiel being beaten mercilessly.
It was over; he distracted Michael while the oldest Winchester seized the fractured sword and drove it through his heart.
He also remembered that night in the hotel where he felled so many deities, where he he'd killed his baby brother. He remembered the agony he'd felt afterward, "Not again. I couldn't do it again, Gabriel."
They didn't say anything else to each other until they returned to the cabin, Lucifer carrying the body. Their pyres were in a small clearing below the house, but none of it was visible from the porch or any of the windows. There would be no blatant reminders haunting the cabin from the outside.
Grace lit the match, threw it into the pile of kindling under her brother, and stepped back into the group. She didn't have the energy to cry much for him, and really no reason to since she had seen where he was. Thomas finally had the happiness he'd lacked in life, and even if that meant he was out of her reach for now, she was alright with it.
The angels stood with the Winchesters over Michael's vessel, all of them mourning a brother as well. Two of them could take the same comfort as Grace, knowing that their little brother wasn't suffering at the hands of a monster, and never would again. Three of them were relieved that their big brother wasn't terrorizing anyone, and hoped that he was better off wherever he had gone. They each took one match from the pack.
Crowley, not in mourning but not wanting to ruin the somber ambience of the moment, offered each of them some of his scotch. He tried not to look so surprised when Grace took a shot of it without flinching ("Yes, I'm old enough to drink mother, don't act so mortified."). Rowena had left somewhere between the liquor and the fires being lit, seeing no reason to hang around and claiming to have better things to do anyhow. She promised (threatened, Grace said) that they would all meet again someday; there was much internal groaning.
The flames died out around sundown, or at least enough that they could be left totally unattended. They all retreated into the cabin to freshen up and lounge around before heading to town for a brief but well-deserved vacation.
Cas fawned over Nox, and insisted that they get a pet for the Bunker now that Dean didn't have the reason (excuse is what he meant) that he was allergic to deny him that privilege. Dean said he'd think about it (probably not is what he meant), but whoever brought the animal home would be solely responsible for upkeep. Sam jokingly remarked that if Gabriel came home and stayed with them, that would be close enough to having a pet, as unpredictable and mischievous as he was.
Gabriel didn't have a chance to state whether he was coming or going, or to rebut this "completely unfounded, inaccurate accusation" before Lucifer emphatically agreed, offering several (unnecessary) examples from when he was "just a little fledgling" to prove Sam's point. As a result, the younger archangel spent most of his remaining time at the cabin plotting how to get them back with minimal consequences.
"Speaking of 'after this'…" Crowley spoke up from his place in front of the bookcase he'd been inspecting, "what've you got planned, Lucifer?"
The angel tilted his head thoughtfully, "You mean am I abdicating my throne?"
"Not in so many words, but to be frank, yes." The demon answered.
"Take it. I'm done dealing with those infernal, backstabbing cretins. Past done."
"Likewise. I don't want them either."
These revelations surprised everyone, as did the potential suggestions of what they should do in the stead of one of them ruling. There were no Knights to pass the realm on to, and none of the Princes were interested. Crowley's son was even less interested in Hell's crown that either of its current holders, and Lucifer didn't have an heir. They couldn't trust any of the other demons or anyone else that was qualified to run the place like it was meant to be run, so in the end they decided to close the Gates and be shod of the place for good. Any loyal demons that had aided them in the fight against Michael would be spared, but all the ones that had a hand in screwing that plan up – the Creed lackeys who were responsible for the sabotage that lead to Michael escaping, Crowley informed the group – would be sealed in or hunted down if they managed to escape.
The latter wouldn't be terribly likely with the two kings working together and/or with the rest of the team, a concept that no one seemed to be able to fathom immediately, including the involved parties. They caught themselves in the middle of scheming before they realized what was happening, and decided to save their plotting for later.
Grace emerging from her room in more casual attire helped steer the conversation in a less awkward direction; diabolical bonding hadn't been what Lucifer and Crowley had in mind when they started that conversation, "Ready guys?" her camera was back around her neck, her keys jingled in her hand. She could hear those glazed donuts calling to her, and dammit if she didn't think they all deserved some. When she wasn't met with any protests or cause for delays, she lead the way out to the two Impalas and they rumbled down the mountain past a beautiful sunset.
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