A/N: One of my dear friends recently read this story. While she read the fifth chapter, her eyes lit up as she exclaimed, "Oh my gosh it's so sweet! I love happy stories."
With an evil cackle I asked, "Whose story do you think you're reading?"
We all know what happens to my characters.
Enjoy.
Hey Jane, you seem a little… Tipsy.
No, no, it's okay it's just, why?
Typical Jeff, only he would think getting wasted is fun.
Okay, maybe not the only one. You seem to be enjoying yourself as well…
Naw, I think I'll pass.
Why do you ask 'is it because of Ben?' like it's a bad thing? Maybe I want my memories of him to control my life!
And actually, I already didn't drink alcohol. Maybe something to do with Ben solidified that choice but it doesn't matter.
Yeah, maybe there is a story behind it and maybe I don't want to tell you. Maybe it's still too painful.
Besides, you're drunk.
Don't whimper at me, it doesn't work.
I'm serious Jane, I'm not telling you. If fact, why don't you go ask your boyfriend, I'm sure he remembers.
Yeah, it had something to do with Jeff. I don't blame him for it, you know how he gets when he's drunk. I doubt he meant all those things he said, he just pushed the right buttons is all.
And yeah, it hurt but that's not why I don't want to talk about it.
It was the night Ben… Vanished.
Yeah, I know I've told you a lot but this is different.
What makes you think talking about it is going to make it better? I'm still going to be dealing with the consequences of my actions regardless.
Inner peace, eh? God Jane, you sound like a hippy.
Fine, you know what; I'll tell you what happened. It's not gonna change anything.
Thoughts of murder run through my head as I sit by the fire, listening to the drunken drabble of the other Pastas. I don't want to be here. I want to be upstairs with Ben. Unfortunately, Dark Link decided to drop in and Ben had told me to stay downstairs for the evening.
I'm doing as requested, no matter how much I hate it. If Ben doesn't want me upstairs he has a good reason. He always does.
Slowly, I turn a page of the book I hold in my hand. Some people have asked me why I bother if I can't see the pages. I'm not quite sure how to explain the comfort it brings just holding the thing and going through the motions.
It also keeps people from bothering me. Maybe there are better ways of accomplishing that task but I haven't found them yet.
Loud laughter coming from my intoxicated friends grates on my sensitive ears and I feel a headache start to build at my temples. With every fresh wave of noise the desire to go upstairs to my room grows stronger. I'm a solitary creature at heart and right now, staying in a room full of idiots is pushing my limits.
"Jack!" My careful silence is broken as a sharp cone shaped nose is pushed into my masked face.
"LJ…" I mutter, attempting to scoot out from under the clown's face. He's never really had any idea what personal space is and it can be disconcerting to say the least. "Hey, can you move?"
"Come on, that's not nice." He pouts, even as he straightens up and walks around my chair and collapses onto the sofa next to it. I can smell the pungent odor of alcohol coming from him in drifts. Wrinkling my nose I attempt to go back to my silent contemplations, but to no avail.
"Why are you over here?" Ticci Toby pokes the side of my mask before he too collapses onto the couch.
Jeff walks to where I sit and leans against my chair, beer in hand, and asks, "Aren't you going to drink anything Jack?"
"No." I mutter, feeling almost claustrophobic. "I don't drink."
"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Masky asks from his post by the mantelpiece.
Shifting uncomfortably I shrug. "I don't know, sitting?"
"If you aren't gonna drink then go be boring somewhere else, we don't want it to spread." Toby says, clearly trying to adopt a serious manner.
Jeff laughs loudly before suggesting, "Why don't you go upstairs and fuck your boyfriend or something." I have to remind myself that Jeff's drunk to keep my temper in check; otherwise I'm probably going to break something.
"Dark Link is up there." LJ reminds Jeff with a snort. "Unless they're planning some sort of three way-"
I interrupt the clown crossly before he can finish his remark. "Can I not just sit here in peace?"
"Touchy, touchy." Jeff sneers, "If I didn't know better I'd think that Ben and you were fighting or something."
I swallow back my angry retorts. This is so typical of Jeff, getting under my skin. He knows all my buttons and when he's drunk and not thinking clearly, he loves nothing more than to press them all. Let him, I think sourly. I'll survive.
"How did you two end up together anyway?" I turn to Hoodie who, judging from the sound of it, is standing next to Masky. Normally, the question wouldn't have bothered me but right now, the subject looks more like a minefield then anything.
"Yeah," Jeff's hair brushes against the side of my head as he nods. "How did you manage to hook up with Ben?"
Cursing Hoodie's question internally I mutter, "I don't know."
"Eh, you two make a good couple," LJ comments.
"Yeah but I'm wondering how." Under Jeff's scrutiny I can feel myself growing angrier and more nervous by the second. "I mean, what exactly does Ben see in you anyway?"
The nerves inside me solidify into a wedge of ice. Trust Jeff to find my insecurity and bring it up.
"While we're on the subject, what does Jane see in you Jeff?" Toby asks with a snort.
I can hear Jeff's grin. "Maybe she likes my sparkling personality."
"Maybe she likes your big- Ow!" Masky's words are cut short as Hoodie elbows him in the ribs.
"Okay sure but what does Ben see in you EJ?" The alcohol on Jeff's breath becomes more prominent as he leans in closer. "I mean, aren't you just a drag on him?"
"If I was," I mutter shortly, trying not to show how deeply Jeff's words were cutting into me. "He wouldn't be dating me."
"But is it even a real relationship?" Jeff asks as he straightens up. "When all you do is fuck each other there's a possibility that Ben's just using you."
"Come on Jeffy," LJ mutters weakly, "Lay off of him."
"I'm just pointing out the obvious." Jeff spreads his arms wide as he turns to the other males in the room. "EJ is blind. Why would Ben want damaged merchandise? We're killers; don't we always have ulterior motives?"
"True enough." Masky says shortly as he pulls a protesting Hoodie against himself. "I know I do."
"Hey!" Hoodie retorts.
"You just have to be careful EJ," Jeff advises. "I know that you love him but does he really love you?"
"Will you stop?" I grind out through my clenching gut and bubbling anger.
"I'm looking out for you best interests Jack." Jeff says with a shrug. "After all, you're my friend."
"You could try another tactic." I mutter, stormy. Shoving to my feet, I knock Jeff out of the way and leave the room.
My mind is filled with swirling emotions as I walk up the stairs towards my room. Jeff's wrong, Ben does care. He has to care, right? Taking off my mask I run my hand over my empty eye sockets. Surely my being blind doesn't change much.
I start to turn on my landing then backtrack. After what happened downstairs I need to see Ben, Dark Link be damned. They'll only be playing video games after all. It's not like I'll be interrupting anything that important.
As I step out onto Ben's landing my footsteps slow as does my heart rate. This is all just a classic case of Jeff needling all the wrong places. Getting worked up over it is stupid, absolutely stupid. Jeff doesn't know shit about how Ben feels. My hand lightly settles on the doorknob to Ben's room as a smile finally finds its way onto my face. Thinking about Ben does that to me.
I'm about to turn the handle when a strange sound stops me. A blaze of shock courses through me as I realize what I'm hearing. It's a sound I've heard many times before.
It's the soft, breathless sound of Ben moaning.
My heart stops as I throw the door open. Everything falls silent as I yell in outrage, "Ben? What the fuck?" Dark Link, by the sounds of it, backs off of Ben slowly. I can't do anything but stare at the boy I had thought loved me as the heartbreaking betrayal sets in. My mask dangles limply in one hand as I just stand there in the doorway, trying to think.
"Oops," The smirk on Dark Link's tone is obvious as he gets to his feet. "Looks like we got caught Ben. Later." He shoves past me roughly but I don't move. I can't move.
"Jack, I-" Ben begins, clearly struggling to find words. Why Ben? I wonder brokenly. Why was I not good enough? His stammers make it clear he's trying to think of an excuse and in that moment, I can't handle it. Even if he did manage to find the right words this wasn't something I could just forget.
"Just shut the hell up!" I yell, letting my pain and rage flow into my words. Without any real thought of mine, my hand clenches around the edge of my mask and I throw it at Ben before storming away. My pace quickens as I fly down the stairs. I can't think, I can't breathe I can only hurt and wonder what I did wrong.
Jeff was right, I realize. Ben doesn't care.
No, I'm not crying. I'll be fine.
You weren't there that night, something about a girl's night out?
Jane, Jane what are you doing? No calm down, it wasn't Jeff's fault. Jane, I think you're a little drunk right now why don't you just-
Jane please don't attack Jeff. I really don't want to have to deal with-
Okay, never mind…
It wasn't my fault Jeff. In fact, I was just leaving!
Have fun I guess.
Goodnight.
A/N: Well now wasn't that something? I'm- I'm not really sure about this but OH WELL! It's too late now!
I say too late, it's 11:51 and I can't keep my eyes open but I promised Yami Papercut I would post a new chapter this week and I like to keep my promises.
So yes, I do have an excuse this time.