Chapter Fifteen

Shen lay silent. He was exhausted, both mentally, and physically. Inside, his weakened psyche was fighting a battle with the grim reaper himself. Shen was .holding out so far, however, he couldn't hold out forever, and both knew it. Shen was holding on to life with everything he had.

Give it up. You have nothing left. You are done.

"No, NO! I still have life!"

Yes, but for how much longer? Even you must realize your situation is hopeless...

"I must still hold on...hope must be found somewhere, even in ones self."

Perhaps, but why do you have to rely on yourself? Because you have nothing else!

"I will...I must tend to the future! To make them...proud."

Ahhhh, so that is what this is about, your parents? You want to make THEM proud? Well well well, you know, I have just the cure for that! How about I show you a little scene...

"NO...not that! why cant you just leave me be?"

So you know what I'm talking about, do you? Well, let us begin!

"Leave me alone!"

Now now, don't be so hard. This was a turning point in your life, the moment where prince Shen died, and was replaced with YOU! Such a lovely murderer! And now, let us watch it again..."

"Prince Shen."
Shen looked up from his bed at the antelope guard standing before him. "Wha..what is it?"

The guard had no expression on his face whatsoever. "Your parents have come to a decision regarding your punishment."

"My...my punishment?" Shen had a sinking feeling inside his stomach.

"Yes. Your parents are waiting for you by the city gates."

A few minutes later, Shen had dressed, and was heading towards the city gates. He was extremely nervous, even terrified. What was going to happen to him? Was he going to be beaten? Put in prison? He could only imagine, as he made his way towards the city gates, a queasy, sick feeling in his gut.

He finally made it to the gates. He could see his father, his mother, and even his nanny, standing there. He also saw the palace antelope guards, and his faithful wolves. He looked at his parents. They looked anything but happy to see him.

"Greetings, mother, father, soothsayer." he could not call her "Nana" in formal meetings. "I have arrived."

Ti'phan motioned towards one of the antelope guards. The guard stepped forward, and began his rehearsed speech.

"Prince Shen, you have been accused of, ruthlessly massacring a village of innocent pandas. We want to know; did or did not you commit the aforementioned act?"

Shen's first response was to shout NO, but slowly, horribly, realization crept onto him. He HAD done it. Horror crept into his heart. Wait! He wouldn't have done that for no reason! Why had he done it? Aahh, yes, that was why.

He turned to face his father, and looked him right in the eye. Surely he would understand.
"Yes." Shen spoke. "Yes, I did."

The antelope guard continued his rehearsed speech. "Then," he said, "Your parents, after long deliberation, have decided on your punishment."

Shen trembled. "And..and what is my punishment?"

The guard answered. "Your punishment is...banishment from Gongmen province...for life. Your bags have already been packed. You and your wolves must leave in the next twenty-four hours, and never return."

Shen was dumbfounded. Him? Banished? They couldn't be serious! He scanned his parents faces. Oh, yes they were.

"Wait!" he said, "doesn't anyone want to hear my defense?"

Ti'phan looked down at him. He nodded. The antelope guard addressed Shen. "Proceed."

Shen sighed with relief at this one word. They would certainly understand. He looked his father straight in the eyes, before speaking.
"I heard the prophecy. I did it to protect my bloodline, and to preserve my family's ownership of the city. The pandas are gone. No longer a threat to me or us."

Shen, while he was talking, was watching his fathers eyes, waiting for them to soften. They never did. If anything, they hardened. Shen did not notice the trembling wings, or ragged breaths. He only noticed the stony silence. He was puzzled, and confused. Why wheren't they pleased?

He turned to his mother, slightly pleading with his eyes. "I did it to make you proud! I wanted you to see that I could solve my problems! It was so that you could see that I wasn't unworthy to take the throne!"

All the while, he was watching her eyes. They remained hard, and unfeeling. Panic was growing in Shen's gut.
"I wanted to prove that I was strong, and that just because I am white doesn't mean I can't stop those who would kill me! Can't you understand?"

Shen could not see the tears in the corners of his mothers eyes, nor the trembling lower beak. All he saw was the dissapointed expression on her face. He turned to his last hope. His nanny. Surely she...

"I did it because I didn't want to DIE!" Shen's whole voice was pleading, begging her to intercede for him.
"I wanted to LIVE! I can't be banished! PLEASE! I have my whole life here! I NEED you!"

Shen saw his nanny's eyes, cold and hard, just like the others. He threw himself at her feet, breath heaving, in full-blown panic. He was begging her, not with just his eyes.

"PLEASE! Don't let them banish me! I'll DIE! Where will I go? I...I...can't leave! My...my who..whole life is..he...here!"
He was breaking down. He was having a panic attack. He shook his nanny back and forth.
"I...I...I...n..n..need to stay here! I loved you! I trusted you! You c..can't betray me! Plea-..."

Ti'phan moved forward, and pushed his son backwards, onto his feet.

"NO! No...no...please!"

Shen gasped.

"I don't want to watch this! I can't see this again! Please...leave me!"

Shen knew what he was going to see. The vision continued.

"SHEN!"

Ti'phan's voice thundered, for the first time this morning, he spoke.

"You are not fitting to be lord of this province. You have murdered the citizens you were supposed to protect! You have proved yourself to have an unstable mind, and what just saw removes all doubt that you have no control over your body either! You are banished. There will be no revocation. I disown you as heir to the province, and I...I disown you as my son."

Shen staggered back, stuttered, then looked up at his father. He stood up straight, and composed his feathers. The panic that had been in his eyes dissapeared remarkably fast. He looked around. Only the soothsayer noticed the mad flame behind her chick's eyes.

"So that's how it is, eh? Of course. I should have known."
Shen spoke in a slightly mocking tone.

"You,...you wanted the warrior to defeat me! You thought that I was unfitting for the throne from the very beginning! Why? Because of my COLOR! I was too SICKLY for you, wasn't I? So you arranged for me to be defeated, and now that I have made it impossible, you BANISH me! You reject me as your son! I shouldn't be surprised. You rejected everything else about me, what difference does this make? I wasn't your son already! So...who is it? Who have you chosen to be the new heir? WHO?!"

His parents said nothing.

"Aaaahhh, I dont know why I expected you to answer. You never talked to me before, when I was your SON, why should you even notice me now?"

He looked around, with madness in his eyes. Madness, and a trace of sorrow. He opened his beak, and spoke.
"Well, you have failed as parents. Do you hear me! You FAILED! You will not reject me as a son. I renounce you as PARENTS!"

He panted, and looked around. His speech apparently hadn't affected them any. What was the use?
"Well mark my words. I will be back for revenge, on you, and your precious city! I will return, and all of China will bow at my feet."
He turned, beckoned his wolves to follow him, and walked out the city gates.

The soothsayer had to say something. "Shen!" she shouted, grabbing his sleeve, "Stop this madness! It wil-..."

"Do not tell me my madness will destroy me!" His eye's fire faded, and, in a voice brimming with sorrow, he spoke his last sane words for thirty years.

"It already has..."

Shen exhaled sharply. His past self was right. His madness had destroyed him. It had taken everything, his fiancé, his friend, his parents, his conscience, his morality, his army, his ships, his cannons, his second chance, his destiny, his royalty, his kingdom, his honor, his entire ambitions, all gone. Gone in a flash.

He broke down. He did something he hadn't done in over thirty years.

He cried.

He cried in pure sorrow, as only a sorrowful criminal could. After a while, he stemmed the flow of his tears. What was the point? It didn't help anything. He had been exiled, on his wedding day, ironically. What would have been a turning point in his life was just that, in a horrible, twisted way. He had nothing, no one would miss him. He had lost everything to his madness...

Even his life...

He closed his eyes, for the last time. His breath exhaled, but did not inhale again. Lord Shen Lee Han, disowned heir of Gongmen province and one of the most brilliant minds in China, or even the world, was dead.

And so, destiny runs full circle.

Authors note: WHAT! Shen died!? Wait! Hold the riot, it isnt over yet! I will find someway to use him in this story... I promise! Anyway, why did the last chapter only get one review? Was it bad? If so, at least tell me what was bad about it...Thanks for reading, see you soon!