I'm on my way to the airport to fly back to L.A. with my brother Matthew in the drivers seat. For the past two weeks I have been staying at his house and bouncing back and forth between all four of my older, very huge, very loud brothers. Matthew is the closest one in age to me but I have always been closer to Alexander the oldest. My grandfather, before he passed away when I was six, always said that Alex and I were alike because we both had old souls. I never understood what that was supposed to mean because I am the irresponsible one of the family, going off against the family's wishes and dancing. After my parents died Alexander was the one who was hurt and devastated the most. He couldn't look me in the eye and after he yelled and screamed and blamed it all on me. We had a long talk the day I got in and he said he was sorry. The only reason he blamed me was because he blamed himself. He was the one who had gotten the guy who planted the bomb involved with my parents, and he was mostly mad at himself. Me and Alex are one in the same, so when he blamed me and punished me, he was really blaming and punishing himself. I forgave him and I forgave myself. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't any of our faults, it wasn't even the guys fault who ordered the bomb. The mafia is a at fault, the business is to blame. My brothers are still with their Italian mafia, despite all of Matthew's pleading. Matthew was the one who came and visited me when I had my accident, but he has always been somewhat of a softy. Alexander, Vincent, and Michael won't let Matthew and his wife and kids quit the life because it is nearly impossible to do so. It's like a gang, once you are in you are in. I always thought that it was ridiculous and horrible, but over the past two weeks I've realized that i'd rather them be in and safe, then out and in danger.
"You won't do anything rash, will you?" i say looking over at my brother. Last night he and Michael, only nine months apart, got into a huge fight and I am scared Matthew is going to go and do something rash.
"Nah, I'm not real the risk-taker in the family," he says. "That was always Vincent, and sometimes you," he says giving me a wink. I pat him on the hand and continue to look out the window.
The plane ride was awful because I heard a girl listening to Big Time Rush very loudly in the terminal waiting area, and the entire plane ride I thought about him. The traitor, the boy band wanna be dancing monkey. For six hours I thought of him, did not get a lick of sleep and barely even got any visual choreography done. I couldn't even listen to music, because everything reminded me of Big Time Stupid.
I get off the plane and make my way to the terminal entrance. The California sun isn't as bright in November as I had hope, but it's better than the dreary wether of Jersey, where the skyline of the city is the only sun you get at 5pm. I walk inside and am blasted sounds of girls shrieking and screaming. I walk in the door and see a crowd of people standing in the terminal. Then a walkway is cleared and I see Big Time Rush sitting on stools looking at me.
"This one is dedicated to a girl who left before she got a chance to choreograph this song, so we decided to sit," Kendall says staring at me. I walk through the aisle created by the mass of people there and stand, as the guys start to sing.
i'll love ya.
if you aint got nobody to love
and girl i'll adore ya
when there's no one to adore
and i'll show ou, aye
that there's no one to show
and i'll know you
if you want somebody to know
…
Please tell me you can hear me
I'm expressing my love
won't stop 'til i get ya
i'm not letting go
Imma run into your heart
Like a kid in a store
Take every once of love
And beg you for more
And beg you for more
But she has no idea, no idea
that I'm even here
I'm even here
She has no idea, no idea
I'm standing here
I'm standing here
The guys finish out singing and everyone is silent, as if they are all waiting for my reaction what Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos just sang to me. I stand there staring. And then move to leave. Kendall is not a good guy and I can't fall back in with a bad guy. I see Carlos out of the corner of my eye getting up to stop me. He runs in my path and puts his hands up.
"Wait, you have to wait," he says putting his hands on my shoulders.
"Carlos, get out of my way before I hurt you," I say pushing him away and run straight into Logan who has his arms crossed.
"You are only doing this to hurt yourself," he says.
I roll my eyes and then doge around him to only run into James who stands there with his phone out. "Just listen," he says pushing it up to my ear.
"Please?" he says. I look past him and see Kendall standing there with his hands behind his back. He's probably holding flowers behind him, stupid.
"Mel, please just give him a chance," he says pushing the phone to my ear. I look up at him and he urges me on place the phone up to my ear. I take it from it and press play on the voicemail lit up on the screen.
"James, it's Kendall," Kendall's voice shouts into my ear. "You will never believe what Jett just said to me and Carlos. That blowhard comes over here sits me and Carlos down and says this is a joke. All this dancing around, is so stupid. The choreography is horrible and none of us can ever do anything with our band if we dance. Melanie Wall is a has been and all the hard work we have been doing is for nothing because dance means nothing!" The memories of the day Kendall broke my heart come flying back at me and it all starts to make sense. There is a bang in the background of the message and I hear Kendall breath and say my name. The message clicks off and I hand the phone back to James. I am speechless and walk towards Kendall. I don't even notice the crowd surrounding the scene in the airport and I don't feel the tears which are streaming down my face. I stop straight in front of Kendall and look him in the eye.
"I promised you I would never hurt you," he says. "Dance is everything and you are everything to me. I wouldn't dare break your heart because it would break mine in the process. And maybe I already did break it a little, but I am trying to fix your heart and trying to make my beat again," he says. His eyes are watering and his voice creaks when he says that last part.
"I love you, and I will always love you. So if you will take me back then maybe we could figure this out, because without you I am lost and I need to be found. Can you find me?" He says.
I continue looking up at him and then look at the fans eagerly waiting for my response. The guys are standing to the side just as eager as the crowd.
I look back up at Kendall and throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. He wraps his arms around my back and the entire airport erupts in cheers.
It feels so good to be back in his arms and I start to laugh as the guys jeer and hug us. Kendall unwinds his arms from my back as I keep my hands clasped behind his neck. "These are for you," he says poking sunflowers in between our bodies. I laugh and he kisses my nose.
"That song, it was on your cd," I say looking in his bright green eyes.
"You listened to it?" he asks.
"Only about 15 times before and 50 times after I hated you," I say thinking about my sulking session right after I thought Kendall was a two-time cheating bastard. "It was amazing, how did you get it organized with the boys?"
"Let's just say with a little hard-work and determination, your song is now on the new BTR album and you will be choreographing it for our upcoming tour," he says.
"You mean I still have a job?" I ask. It's been almost a month and I would be surprised if anyone ever hired me again because I quit, and once you quit you never get hired again.
"You never lost a job," he says and kisses me lightly on the lips before taking my bag off my shoulder, placing it on his shoulder, and then taking my hand and together we walked to the baggage claim and into our future, together, leaving the crowd of guakers and the boys of Big Time Rush making kiss sounds and cheering at our backs. But I couldn't care less because I was with the man I loved and finally happy, really and truly happy.
Next chapter is going to be an epilogue! I really loved writing for you guys and I am already thinking about another story. Let me know what you guys want! xoxo