Okay, I couldn't resist. This is like half-review, half-parody because I really wanted to put a review into the world. I thought about making this a new story, but then I'd lose all the character development I have on Jack (In my mind, Jack is a lot more considerate now about the show) and if I couldn't use Jack, this just wouldn't have been the same. My Transference parody will come out at the same time as the season two DVD release. Another thing – when I write episode parodies, I go online and find the original script for the episode so I can make some parts as accurate as possible. I couldn't find the original script for this movie, so this is purely based off my memory.

"Mr. J! Mr. J!" Harley yelled, running into Jack's bedroom. She found him on his bed grinning and watching something on his laptop.

"Ha!" Jack laughed. "Oh my gosh, this is our competition? Marvel Studios thinks they're even close to DC's level of awesomeness? We have General Zod destroying an entire city in a vicious fight! We have Batman having his back broken by Bane! We have the Flash speed-punching a giant gorilla! And what does Marvel have?"

Jack turned the laptop around to show Harley the image of a raccoon on a living tree shooting a gun.

Harley sighed, "Jack, honey, are you forgetting about Batman and Robin?"

Jack took a gun out and shot it, barely missing Harley. He scowled, "NEVER mention Batman and Robin."

Harley shrugged. "Anyway, look what I have! DC just made a new movie! It's called Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. It's about the epic battle between the Man of Steel and the Dark Knight as the tension involving Superman reaches its peak, but a new threat arises that endangers the entire world that forces Batman and Superman to band together!"

Jack laughed, "Well, what are you waiting for? Put it in the laptop!"

TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER...

Jack and Harley stared at the laptop screen as the end credits rolled up. They both had blank expressions on their face.

"Well..." Harley said. "It's not... bad?"

"But it's not very good either."

"I mean, it's very visually stunning, and some of the performances are great!"

"But some of the major plot points don't make sense and a lot of the buildup is just lost because the plot needs things to happen. Like, I know the movie is already three hours long, but I could watch another fifteen minutes if it meant that Superman and Batman grew logical reasons to hate each other and fight. Instead, Superman is just fighting to save his mom, killing all of the buildup in the conversations where he said Batman was a dangerous criminal. If you were going to have him save his mom, what's the point of having Superman have any opinion on Batman? Batman's motives are done pretty well, mostly due to that first scene in Metropolis, but I don't think the Batman that we know from the comics would have basically tortured Superman for nine minutes when he had the option of just using the spear in the first place. I know it's an adaptation, but if you're going to use the character of Batman, we have to at least be able to liken him to the comic version. I mean, even the Joker gets dealt with without guns, and comparing that Batman that we've known our whole lives with this new Batman that smashed a guy's head with a sink when he had the option of killing him instantly is just uncomfortable."

"Jesse Eisenberg was a good supervillain, but not a good Lex Luthor. I was threatened by him, especially during that scene with the pictures of Martha, but I'd have enjoyed his performance a lot more if they just made him an original villain instead of likening his character to that of Clancy Brown and Gene Hackman. I know he was playing Lex Jr., but giving him a completely different name would have made him a far more compelling character by removing any comparisons to the suave, collected businessman that we're familiar with. Wonder Woman is a scene-stealer, and I even felt like there was more reason for her to be there than Lois. I just wanted more focus on her character. It's freaking Wonder Woman! A third of DC's trinity, the most popular female superhero in the world, and the person who taught little girls that they can be superheroes instead of princesses! Instead, she's treated like an extra, and it doesn't work if you didn't know about her upcoming solo movie. I felt like Superman's death could have been done better too. In most movies, a major character death is used to create conflict in a way nothing else can and drive the rest of the characters in new directions, either darker or more justified. Instead, especially because of the dirt rising at the end and the fact that it happens so soon, it just feels like a plot device to bring the Justice League together. Imagine the anger and conflict and development that could have happened if Superman had died five movies in without immediate hope that he was coming back!"

"But if you're willing to look past the plot holes and conflicting motives, it's a fairly satisfying film to watch and there are a lot of cool scenes that people will love. In my opinion, Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill gave great performances. The older, more jaded Batman that Affleck portrays is going to be right up there with Bale and Keaton in the DC history books, and Cavill portrays the pained, angry Superman in a way that really makes you think. There's a lot of fan service, and if you're a hardcore comic book fan, seeing scenes from the Dark Knight Returns and the Death of Superman come to life will leave you squealing in your seat. In fact, cut out some of the fluff, spend a couple thousand more dollars on some establishing scenes, and this has the potential to be a great movie. I just wish that they'd have considered that half a movie isn't enough time to establish a rivalry that's been brewing over seventy years and thousands of comics."

"Yeah." Harley said.

"I could've written a better script." Jack grinned.

Harley smirked. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"You know it, baby. Now go and Google Zack Snyder's address!"

LATER, AT ZACK SNYDER'S HOUSE...

Zack Snyder was on the phone, talking to Ben Affleck about the next Justice League movie, and then Jack and Harley burst into the room.

"Hi, Zack! I'm Jack. Our names sound too similar and it's creeping me out, so your name is Randy now." Jack laughed evilly. The boy wearing black sweats with green streaks in his hair sat down on the couch while the blonde girl with pigtails and a red and black skirt jumped onto his lap. "We have some things to discuss."

"How did you get past security?" Zack asked.

Jack laughed, "I have my ways. And laughing gas. My ways and laughing gas."

"And a giant hammer!" Harley beamed. "But I heard you were planning on replacing it with a lame baseball bat, you jerk."

"The video games created the baseball bat, we just thought it would be a more practical-" Zack said.

Jack shook his head. "We can discuss that – and Joker's new tattoos and grill that make him look like a really pale guy trying to get back at his dad – later. Right now, I'd like to show you something I wrote up. A revised script for Batman v Superman!"

"Stay down!" Superman yelled, as he stared the greatest threat he'd ever faced down. Gotham's Dark Knight was trying to get up after being crashed through a building and thrown onto a rooftop by the Man of Steel. "If I wanted it, you'd be dead already. Now, I'm just going to talk to you while I'm flying up here since you can't hurt me from here and all of this could be avoided by a simple conversation."

Batman stood up, panting, and loaded his gun with a kryptonite gas bomb. He aimed it at Superman with a malicious grin and fired it. Except for some reason, the gas bomb fired backwards right into Batman's face.

"Ow! What the hell, man?!" Batman yelled, rubbing his eyes. "That was too far!"

Superman shrugged. "What do you mean too far? You were just about to shoot that at me! Besides, Kryptonite doesn't even hurt you."

"That doesn't mean I enjoy having gas detonated in my face! Do you have any idea how much this stings my nose?!" Batman growled. "How did you tamper with my gun anyway?"

"Well, I had a little help." Superman flew away using super speed and returned a few seconds later carrying Alfred the Butler."

"Alfred?" Batman screamed. "What the f***, man?!"

"I told you this man is not our enemy! Besides, did you think I was just going to let you commit murder?" Alfred asked. Superman flew Alfred back to the Batcave and returned in a few seconds to find Batman still standing there, angrily murmuring under his breath.

Superman sighed, "Can we have a conversation now?"

Batman growled, "Fine."

"Okay. Now Lex Luthor is holding my mother hostage and he's forcing me to fight you or else he's gonna kill her. I need your help to save her. Are you chill now?"

"I don't care about your mother, you're a murderer! I need to kill you before you kill countless other innocent civilians!" Batman yelled, before throwing his Kryptonite gun off the roof, where it fell onto an innocent civilian walking by and cracked his skull.

"Ummm..."

"Yeah, bats are notorious hypocrites. Anyway, get back down here so I can shove this Kryptonite popcorn down your throat."

Superman sighed, "Look, Bruce. Just help me save my mom and I'll... stop committing quote unquote 'crime'."

"Criminals like you will never stop!" Batman yelled, before grabbing his second Kryptonite gun and aiming it at Superman, except this one was also tampered with and fired backwards into Batman's face. "Agh! It happened again! What the actual sh*t, Alfred? We used to be tight!"

"Stop randomly shooting things, then!" Superman scowled.

"I'm not randomly shooting at things! I'm shooting at things that I want to die!"

Superman brought his hand up to his temple and rubbed his super-headache. "Okay, okay fine. You save my mom by yourself, and I'll just fly to Mars or something. She's a little shorter than you with long, grey hair, and her name's Martha, and-"

Suddenly, upon hearing the name Martha, Batman was flooded with emotional flashbacks and was sent to the ground in a fit of angst.

"Umm, Bruce?" Superman asked. "You okay?"

Batman got back up and said, "Okay, we're friends now. Let's go save Martha!"

Meanwhile, one floor beneath the roof where Batman and Superman were talking, a bunch of supervillains were making phone calls to change their mother's names to Martha.

(SHOT OF SKY – WAIT... OH. OK THEN... JUST TRANSITION TO THE NEXT SHOT...?)

Superman flew down to the LexCorp building as fast as he could when he saw the sparks. It was all coming from a research facility. And that facility was holding a Kryptonian ship.

It was Lex Luthor. He was standing at the edge of the balcony looking over the lightning striking the regeneration pod. That pod held the data from hundreds of Kryptonian babies, and now Lex Luthor's DNA was in it too.

Superman landed next to Lex. "What did you do?"

Lex grinned proudly, not looking back. "I've created the ultimate Kryptonian devil. Ancient Kryptonian deformity – and a drop of my blood – born to destroy you! Your Doomsda-"

"WHY SO SERIOUS?!" The Joker laughed, pushing Luthor to the side and throwing his head back to laugh. Yes, at some point, the Joker came in.

Superman stared weirdly. "Wait, why is he here?"

Joker shrugged. "Well, this guy is basically me anyway, so why not just put me in the movie?"

Lex gasped, "I am much different than you!"

"Yeah, tell yourself that when you're being interrogated by Batman from a jail cell or giving the hero a choice between two human lives, forcing him to choose one and the other will burst into flames. Did you enjoy blowing up a building while dressed as an upstanding member of society? Because I did." Joker sneered.

"..." Lex said.

Joker laughed, "Anyway, meet the ultimate Kryptonian devil! Your Doomsda – what the f*** is that thing?"

Superman sighed, "You know, if we're going to break the fourth wall, there's no reason you can't swear in this story."

"Rule number one of creative writing, Superman – language has to match the content." Joker said, before turning to Lex. "Now... would you mind telling us what the f*** that thing is?"

Lex looked down at his creation. "It's Doomsday!"

"No, it's the love child of Abomination, Indominus Rex, and a cave troll!" Joker said. "I could create a scarier monster with duct tape and cardboard! Look, I'm tired. I did a lot of Deadpool-ing today. Superman, just get killed by this thing so I can go home."

Doomsday roared and reared its fist, ready to strike when Superman flew up and caught it in midair. The monster roared, grabbed Superman's arm, and threw him through the wall of the laboratory, sending him flying into the city.

Meanwhile, Batman was texting Wonder Woman.

Batman: "Hey LOL"

Wonder Woman: "Who is this?"

Batman: "I went online n guess what I got LOL ;) "

Wonder Woman: "Wut?"

Batman: "Batman sent a file LOL HMU"

Wonder Woman: "OMG delete those rn"

Batman: "Y do all ppl in movies text like drunk teens?"

Then, Batman looked up and saw Superman being thrown overhead and landed right next to him. Batman sighed and said, "When are you not getting your ass kicked?" He helped Superman get up and went back to texting Wonder Woman.

Batman: "Can U come over? There's a cave troll that's wrecking stuff."

Wonder Woman: "OK B rite there"

In a few seconds, Wonder Woman flew down and landed between Batman and Superman, fully dressed in battle armour ready to fight. Superman stood up, his eyes flickering with energy.

Batman put down his phone, sighed and said, "Okay, now what are we dealing with here, because whatever it is, I'm gonna kick its ass. I've fought freaks dressed like clowns, freaks dressed like birds, freaks dressed like scarecrows, I've fought freaks dressed like a lot of things. I have experience here, so whatever we're facing, no matter how big or tough it is, I am going to kick it's-"

Then, Doomsday crashed through the buildings like they were made of paper and landed on the ground with a huge roar.

Batman nodded, staring at the monster. He then very sarcastically said, "Oh no, I'm having another dream sequence. Argh, the memories are flooding back, it's so painful, I have to sit out. I'm going over there, I'll be right back."

Wonder Woman shrugged and turned to Superman. "I suppose it's just you and me."

Superman looked up. "Wait... I hear Lois. She's in trouble!" Superman flew up and away back towards Gotham city to go save Lois, leaving Wonder Woman by herself to fight Doomsday.

She sighed, "Of course." And then lunged towards the monster.

TWO MINUTES LATER...

"I've got the spea – what happened?" Superman asked, flying back in with the Kryptonite spear to find Wonder Woman lying on the ground just about to pass out.

Wonder Woman growled, "You left me here to fight Doomsday alone, you moron. What did you think happened?!"

Superman gasped, "Well why didn't Batman help you?!"

"He did."

THIRTY SECONDS AGO...

"Batman, help me!" Wonder Woman yelled, holding Doomsday still with the lasso of truth which cannot be broken.

Batman grinned and held up his Kryptonite gun to shoot a gas bomb at Doomsday. "Don't worry, Wonder Woman, Batman's got this!" He shot the bomb at Doomsday. All that happened was Doomsday roared angrily and shook it off.

Batman's eyes widened in shock, and he said, "Well, that's my contribution to this."

Wonder Woman sighed, "Why don't you try-"

"Oh no! It's another dream sequence! Argh, I'm in so much pain, the memories are flooding back, Ah! I'll be sitting over there."

THIRTY SECONDS AFTER THAT...

Superman sighed, "Yeah, that does sound like something he would do. Anyway, I got this spear made of Kryptonite that'll be able to kill it. I'll go stab him with this."

"Umm... you sure you don't want to let me do it?" Wonder Woman asked. "I mean, that Kryptonite could kill you."

"But..." Superman said. "Fine."

Wonder Woman then grabbed the spear, flew over to Doomsday and then jammed it in his chest. Doomsday tried stabbing her back, but she grabbed its arm and jammed it back into his eye. When Doomsday died, Wonder Woman proudly stood back next to Superman.

Batman came back with his hand up for a high-five and cheered, "Yeah! We did it, guys! The three of us took down Doomsday! Let's go, teamwork! Come on guys, don't leave me hanging!"

Zack Snyder put down the revised script and took some Tylenol for his headache.

Jack grinned, "Eh? Is that not the greatest revision ever?"

Zack sighed, "Okay, listen kid. Frankly, I'm not sure how you got through security, but I can't change anything. A part of that is the fact that the film's already out. And two, I'm not really in charge of this film. My name was only put on there as a distraction so people wouldn't blame the person really in charge of this film."

Harley frowned, "And who's that?"

"Well, if it isn't my old nemesis, Jack Kerr." said the dark figure coming out of the closet. The voice could only mean one thing. As the shadow stepped out into the light, it revealed the dastardly figure of...

"Bruno Heller?!" Jack and Harley gasped.

An evil grin spread on Bruno's face. "That's right, Jack. And that's not the only thing I did. Check the end credits of the movie."

Jack played the end of Batman V Superman and waited until the end credits appeared. Then, he noticed it. Credited as the screenwriter of the movie was... Jack Kerr!

"You fiend!" Jack yelled. "You credited me as the writer of this terrible film! Why?!"

Bruno laughed, "So that you'd be so ashamed of it, you'd go into hiding and never write another script again! That'll teach you to steal my cast! Gotham will be mine again! And I won't stop there. I'll credit you for EVERY box office disappointment until you back off! Fan-four-stic? Written by Jack Kerr! Alice Through the Looking Glass? Written by Jack Kerr! That god-awful Jem and the Holograms movie? Written, cast, and directed by Jack Kerr! I will turn your name into box-office diarrhea! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!"

"I'm going to stop you!" Jack growled. "The Gotham TV show is mine and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"There's a Gotham TV show?" Zack Snyder asked, making Jack, Harley, and Bruno turn their heads to look at him very slowly.

"You didn't know there was a Gotham TV show?" Harley asked.

"Starring the likes of Ben McKenzie, Robin Lord Taylor, David Mazouz, and Michael Chiklis?" Bruno asked.

"Focusing on an area of the Batman mythos that's never been seen before – the origins of the larger-than-life superheroes and supervillains, showing how much or how little it takes to set ordinary people like you and me on a journey to becoming the out-of-this-world masterminds, brawlers, and vigilantes that we've grown up with?" Jack asked.

Zack scoffed. "Origin stories are boring. I mean, who wants to watch a Batman show that doesn't even have Batman in it?"

Zack Snyder was then tossed out of a window.

Bruno turned back to Jack. "Now it's time to settle our business once and for all! Will you give me back my TV show?"

Jack laughed, "Nice try, Bruno, but your little plan has one, fatal flaw. No one watches the end credits!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bruno yelled. "My evil plan has been ruined by the comically short attention span of movie-goers! I'll get you for this Jack!"

Jack grinned, "Harley?"

Harley brought out her giant hammer and smacked Bruno in the face, sending him tumbling out of a window.

Jack nodded. "Come on, Harley. Let's go put some noir filters on Marvel movies."

Bruno Heller and Zack Snyder, if you're reading this – no offense. I know you're probably not supervillains and you probably don't talk like that, but something about producers and directors make them such good villains. Transference parody is next, and then look out for my next story, Gotham Season Three (Revised Script)!