Denial
Chapter eleven - Sirius, the Shocked and Disgraced
*****
It three weeks before Easter. Another boring Tuesday, spent doing boring things, and to top it off more History homework. But several hours before that we where in bloody Divination (for the millionth time). So anyway, it all went boringly as usual until Peter started reading Sirius's tea leaves (another revision lesson).
"That thing there-"
"What thing where?" Sirius cut him off.
"There. That thing." Peter said, pointing into Sirius's cup.
"Oh yes. That thing there." Sirius said, still with no idea what Peter was talking about.
"Yeah, but that thing there means, I think, that you will get a huge surprise." Very true.
"Wow. When?" Sirius asked uninterestedly.
"Um. Very soon." Peter replied.
"How soon?" Sirius asked, trying to wind Peter up.
"Um. Within a week?" Peter suggested. Hell no. I wasn't telling Sirius this week!
"Which week?" Sirius asked, continuing to try and wind Peter up.
"This week, twat."
"Which day?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"Ooh. Stressed." Sirius finished.
"Fuck off." Peter muttered.
"No you fuck off." Sirius said in a squeaky voice, and then pretended to slap Peter.
"Boys. Boys." Professor Trelawny interrupted smoothly. "This is not helping your aura. Please try to concentrate." She glanced in Sirius's cup. "Expect a large emotional blow in the near future." Dammit. He was s'posed to be pleased with my news. Even though I'd known he wouldn't be. She moved onto Peter's cup, "You will not be in the limelight. You will have a backstage part." She told him.
"What the hell?" Sirius muttered. Peter only shrugged.
The lesson ended as boringly as it had started, me and Kira went back the common room, met Lily, and everything was fine and dandy, until the other two decided to go to bed, leaving me on my own with my thoughts... and History homework, but I wasn't concentrating on that.
In fact, as is was much more interesting, I was concentrating on the BC's (Bastard Crew's) conversation. They where discussing their personal lives, and so I decided to lie down on the couch so they couldn't see me, and hold back from the lovely details they so needed to tell their friends.
I tried to concentrate on my homework. I really did. I just don't like concentrating on pointless subjects which aren't going to help my life in any way. In fact, the only reason I can think of, to learn History of Magic, is to be a History of Magic teacher, and doing that would just be wasting your life.
Anyway, I listened intently as their conversation wheeled itself round to sex. I had mixed feelings on hearing this subject being discussed. On the one hand I wanted to know what Sirius would say about me. On the other I couldn't bear it if he ignored me, or insulted me.
In fact that could well be more than I could take at the moment, but I wasn't in a position to leave, after the things they's been discussing (some had made me shiver in disgust).
This interesting topic began with Remus mentioning him shagging someone.
"You're not a virgin then?" James observed.
"No way!" Remus said.
"How many times?" James asked. Remus shrugged.
"I think the real question is how many girls." Sirius pointed out, and then they chuckled, and didn't bother getting Remus to reply.
Then Remus said, "So, James your a virgin?" James nodded his head. Good, he was ugly enough. What did Lily see in him? "I can't belive that!" Remus exclaimed. I could. He was ugly, End of story. Unless Lily, the princess, kissed him and he turned into a handsome prince. After all, this was Hogwarts. Anything was possible.
Then they asked Sirius.
"How many you shagged then?" Didn't bother asking IF he was a virgin. Oh no, this was Sirius, new girl every week, no way he couldn't be. They probably thought he'd slept with every one of them. He probably had. I was just one of his common sluts. Just the only one with whom he forgot the condom. Didn't I just feel so elated at that? No, actually, not particularly.
Then he surprised us all (I think. I hope not, but I think), by saying. "Two."
Me and... if it was Charlotte that was the last straw. She didn't deserve him. Oh no, yes she did, they were both scum from the gutter.
"Who was the first?" Remus asked.
"Chloe." Came the short reply.
"And the second?"
"Charlotte." The bitch. Ok, that was really, actually upsetting. He just stabbed me in the back! God, we're together for a month, I'm his first time, and then straight after he just goes and shags Charlotte. What a twat. God I hated him.
"That it?" Remus asked, disappointed in his friend.
"Yes. Why, how many you shagged then?" Sirius asked. My thoughts exactly. I thought Sirius got all the women, not Remus. Then again, I'm glad I'm not just one of many sluts. I was one of two. And that's bad enough.
"More than you, that's for sure." Remus said. What a womaniser.
"So, who was better, Charlotte, or Chloe?" Peter said (attempting to change the subject, but failing, seeing as it was the same one).
"Um, that's a hard one..." Sirius said. Tears actually welled up in my eyes then. I didn't realised I was that upset or resentful. Tears from the hatred and rejection on Sirius's part. I thought 'No it's not. it's obviously me.' "At least Chloe had the sense not to shriek all the way through." That kind of cheered me up. Not much though. "Dunno, Chloe was better in some ways, but Charlotte felt kind of better."
"Gets better the more you do it." Remus said wisely. I'm sure it does. Sirius wasn't bad himself, and there he was putting Charlotte before me. I don't know how much he actually was putting her before me, I can't remember everything, but that's how it felt, definitely. Maybe I was being irrational but that was not the point.
The back stabbing git had me one night, and Charlotte the fucking next! Literally fucking! He was just such a fucking bastard.
And what is it with bloody mind readers, they just appear everywhere! Remus said, "So you had Chloe one night, Charlotte the next?" which seemed kind of a stupid question seeing as he went out with Charlotte straight after me.
"No, actually, Charlotte was when I was going out with Mya during the Christmas holidays." Oh, ok, at least he had the courtesy to shag me while he was actually going out with me, and never shagged anyone behind my back. That makes it all better!
I didn't need his petty excuses.
"You used protection, didn't you?" James asked. Somehow I think not, but somehow Sirius thought so, in fact his actual words were "I think so." thus proving my point, and that he's a stupid idiot.
"So, the whole joke about Chloe being pregnant is completely a joke." James verified. They were joking about me being pregnant behind my back? JOKING? What kind of SICK and TWISTED joke?
"Absolutely."
What the fuck was that. The WRONG word. Sirius really IS a fool.
"What about my predictions?" Peter piped up.
That couldn't be me. I wasn't going to marry him, or tell him I was pregnant within the week, or even SMILE at him EVER again.
"Will you stop trying to make out you can actually see stuff, when we KNOW you're just sucking up to Trelawny?" Sirius burst out. "She's NOT pregnant!"
At this point I couldn't help but let out a humourless laugh. Sirius shut up immediately.
Then James whispered, clearly not quietly enough, "If someone's in here, then they've just found out I'm a virgin."
"I still can't believe that." Remus said.
"Shhh!" Said the other three. The BC started searching the room for signs of life and eventually James found me, lying, listening to their conversation.
"Shit." He said. I sat up and watched, glaring at him, as he crossed the room, and started whispering, and pointing at me. I saw Sirius drain white, and Peter start shaking (wimp). Then I said, to break the silence, "We didn't use protection actually, Sirius."
"Didn't we?" He asked, shocked.
"No." I stated. "And it's quite funny really. That joke of yours turns out to be true."
*****
*hides* I didn't call James ugly, it was Chloe, I swear, she's crazy.
I'll put L/J in sometime soon, but this was a very important chapter, and now I've left you hanging over the edge of a large cliff, wondering who's goignt o fall first, and who will, drown,a nd who will be scattered on the rocks, and who will be picked up by the inflatable life boat and taken home for some coco, and who's strong enough to climb back up, but may get some grass stains on the way up, which even Vanish can't remove.
I realise I didn't have to drag that out so much.
I'll try to relieve of the sinking feeling tomorrow, but no promises. You may be the one scattered on the rocks, or tossed in a sea of turmoil.
I'll shut up now.
Thanks to my reviewers! 60 reviews! I want 100 by the end of this tragic tale, but there's a while to go yet.
With an average of 6 reviews a chapter I think I will just make 100 by the end.
Anyway, thanks to everyone - Mai :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :)
Chapter eleven - Sirius, the Shocked and Disgraced
*****
It three weeks before Easter. Another boring Tuesday, spent doing boring things, and to top it off more History homework. But several hours before that we where in bloody Divination (for the millionth time). So anyway, it all went boringly as usual until Peter started reading Sirius's tea leaves (another revision lesson).
"That thing there-"
"What thing where?" Sirius cut him off.
"There. That thing." Peter said, pointing into Sirius's cup.
"Oh yes. That thing there." Sirius said, still with no idea what Peter was talking about.
"Yeah, but that thing there means, I think, that you will get a huge surprise." Very true.
"Wow. When?" Sirius asked uninterestedly.
"Um. Very soon." Peter replied.
"How soon?" Sirius asked, trying to wind Peter up.
"Um. Within a week?" Peter suggested. Hell no. I wasn't telling Sirius this week!
"Which week?" Sirius asked, continuing to try and wind Peter up.
"This week, twat."
"Which day?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"Ooh. Stressed." Sirius finished.
"Fuck off." Peter muttered.
"No you fuck off." Sirius said in a squeaky voice, and then pretended to slap Peter.
"Boys. Boys." Professor Trelawny interrupted smoothly. "This is not helping your aura. Please try to concentrate." She glanced in Sirius's cup. "Expect a large emotional blow in the near future." Dammit. He was s'posed to be pleased with my news. Even though I'd known he wouldn't be. She moved onto Peter's cup, "You will not be in the limelight. You will have a backstage part." She told him.
"What the hell?" Sirius muttered. Peter only shrugged.
The lesson ended as boringly as it had started, me and Kira went back the common room, met Lily, and everything was fine and dandy, until the other two decided to go to bed, leaving me on my own with my thoughts... and History homework, but I wasn't concentrating on that.
In fact, as is was much more interesting, I was concentrating on the BC's (Bastard Crew's) conversation. They where discussing their personal lives, and so I decided to lie down on the couch so they couldn't see me, and hold back from the lovely details they so needed to tell their friends.
I tried to concentrate on my homework. I really did. I just don't like concentrating on pointless subjects which aren't going to help my life in any way. In fact, the only reason I can think of, to learn History of Magic, is to be a History of Magic teacher, and doing that would just be wasting your life.
Anyway, I listened intently as their conversation wheeled itself round to sex. I had mixed feelings on hearing this subject being discussed. On the one hand I wanted to know what Sirius would say about me. On the other I couldn't bear it if he ignored me, or insulted me.
In fact that could well be more than I could take at the moment, but I wasn't in a position to leave, after the things they's been discussing (some had made me shiver in disgust).
This interesting topic began with Remus mentioning him shagging someone.
"You're not a virgin then?" James observed.
"No way!" Remus said.
"How many times?" James asked. Remus shrugged.
"I think the real question is how many girls." Sirius pointed out, and then they chuckled, and didn't bother getting Remus to reply.
Then Remus said, "So, James your a virgin?" James nodded his head. Good, he was ugly enough. What did Lily see in him? "I can't belive that!" Remus exclaimed. I could. He was ugly, End of story. Unless Lily, the princess, kissed him and he turned into a handsome prince. After all, this was Hogwarts. Anything was possible.
Then they asked Sirius.
"How many you shagged then?" Didn't bother asking IF he was a virgin. Oh no, this was Sirius, new girl every week, no way he couldn't be. They probably thought he'd slept with every one of them. He probably had. I was just one of his common sluts. Just the only one with whom he forgot the condom. Didn't I just feel so elated at that? No, actually, not particularly.
Then he surprised us all (I think. I hope not, but I think), by saying. "Two."
Me and... if it was Charlotte that was the last straw. She didn't deserve him. Oh no, yes she did, they were both scum from the gutter.
"Who was the first?" Remus asked.
"Chloe." Came the short reply.
"And the second?"
"Charlotte." The bitch. Ok, that was really, actually upsetting. He just stabbed me in the back! God, we're together for a month, I'm his first time, and then straight after he just goes and shags Charlotte. What a twat. God I hated him.
"That it?" Remus asked, disappointed in his friend.
"Yes. Why, how many you shagged then?" Sirius asked. My thoughts exactly. I thought Sirius got all the women, not Remus. Then again, I'm glad I'm not just one of many sluts. I was one of two. And that's bad enough.
"More than you, that's for sure." Remus said. What a womaniser.
"So, who was better, Charlotte, or Chloe?" Peter said (attempting to change the subject, but failing, seeing as it was the same one).
"Um, that's a hard one..." Sirius said. Tears actually welled up in my eyes then. I didn't realised I was that upset or resentful. Tears from the hatred and rejection on Sirius's part. I thought 'No it's not. it's obviously me.' "At least Chloe had the sense not to shriek all the way through." That kind of cheered me up. Not much though. "Dunno, Chloe was better in some ways, but Charlotte felt kind of better."
"Gets better the more you do it." Remus said wisely. I'm sure it does. Sirius wasn't bad himself, and there he was putting Charlotte before me. I don't know how much he actually was putting her before me, I can't remember everything, but that's how it felt, definitely. Maybe I was being irrational but that was not the point.
The back stabbing git had me one night, and Charlotte the fucking next! Literally fucking! He was just such a fucking bastard.
And what is it with bloody mind readers, they just appear everywhere! Remus said, "So you had Chloe one night, Charlotte the next?" which seemed kind of a stupid question seeing as he went out with Charlotte straight after me.
"No, actually, Charlotte was when I was going out with Mya during the Christmas holidays." Oh, ok, at least he had the courtesy to shag me while he was actually going out with me, and never shagged anyone behind my back. That makes it all better!
I didn't need his petty excuses.
"You used protection, didn't you?" James asked. Somehow I think not, but somehow Sirius thought so, in fact his actual words were "I think so." thus proving my point, and that he's a stupid idiot.
"So, the whole joke about Chloe being pregnant is completely a joke." James verified. They were joking about me being pregnant behind my back? JOKING? What kind of SICK and TWISTED joke?
"Absolutely."
What the fuck was that. The WRONG word. Sirius really IS a fool.
"What about my predictions?" Peter piped up.
That couldn't be me. I wasn't going to marry him, or tell him I was pregnant within the week, or even SMILE at him EVER again.
"Will you stop trying to make out you can actually see stuff, when we KNOW you're just sucking up to Trelawny?" Sirius burst out. "She's NOT pregnant!"
At this point I couldn't help but let out a humourless laugh. Sirius shut up immediately.
Then James whispered, clearly not quietly enough, "If someone's in here, then they've just found out I'm a virgin."
"I still can't believe that." Remus said.
"Shhh!" Said the other three. The BC started searching the room for signs of life and eventually James found me, lying, listening to their conversation.
"Shit." He said. I sat up and watched, glaring at him, as he crossed the room, and started whispering, and pointing at me. I saw Sirius drain white, and Peter start shaking (wimp). Then I said, to break the silence, "We didn't use protection actually, Sirius."
"Didn't we?" He asked, shocked.
"No." I stated. "And it's quite funny really. That joke of yours turns out to be true."
*****
*hides* I didn't call James ugly, it was Chloe, I swear, she's crazy.
I'll put L/J in sometime soon, but this was a very important chapter, and now I've left you hanging over the edge of a large cliff, wondering who's goignt o fall first, and who will, drown,a nd who will be scattered on the rocks, and who will be picked up by the inflatable life boat and taken home for some coco, and who's strong enough to climb back up, but may get some grass stains on the way up, which even Vanish can't remove.
I realise I didn't have to drag that out so much.
I'll try to relieve of the sinking feeling tomorrow, but no promises. You may be the one scattered on the rocks, or tossed in a sea of turmoil.
I'll shut up now.
Thanks to my reviewers! 60 reviews! I want 100 by the end of this tragic tale, but there's a while to go yet.
With an average of 6 reviews a chapter I think I will just make 100 by the end.
Anyway, thanks to everyone - Mai :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :)