Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of its characters.

S16E16: December Solstice

"Are you sure I can't come over?"
"Yes. The family is here. Everything is taken care of"
He had come out to the balcony for some privacy. There was mourning going on in his grandmother's apartment, and the first thing he did on having a minute to spare was call Annie.
"How's your mother?"
"Mami is... she is better now"
"And you?"
How he wished she was there by his side and he could surrender himself into her arms.
"Raf?"
"I'm fine"
"I want to believe you"
"I am. I accept responsibility for what happened"
"You were trying to help"
"And a hell lot of good it did"
"I read somewhere once - never abhor yourself for doing the right thing"
"They write that in eroticas?"
"Rafael, please. Stop blaming yourself. It was her time. And she went as peacefully as is possible"
He regretted his caustic comment,
"I know that"
"Nonna Belucci - Aunt June's mother - they put her in a retirement home when I was 16. She didn't want to go. Today, she is 94 years old and still kicking. Just because you deny someone a choice, it doesn't necessarily mean that you deny them their well-being"
He nodded, pining for her more and more. Annie always told him what he needed to hear.
"Thank you"
"I mean it. And your abuelita would have agreed with me", he could hear the nostalgia in her voice, "I liked her. She had a sense of humor"
"She liked you too. She told me you would make tons of babies"
Annie gave a little laugh.
"Remember last Christmas? I tried to thank her for the milk and cookies in Spanish and she told me what leche was slang for?"
He scrunched his nose but smiled,
"Yeah"
"Christmas is going to be rough for your Ma this time"
"I know. I'm going to stay with her till New Year's"
"That's great. I was going to offer the same myself"
"You would have stayed with my mother?"
"Yes. She doesn't deserve to feel the way she does right now. Neither of you does"
It was strange. Annie had never once told him she loved him or shown any special affection for his family, but here they were.
"Listen, I know you are going to use your vacation days. I really want to be your backup. If something happens and you have to go, I'll be with Lucia. Just give me a call and I'll be there within the hour. Please let me do this"
"Why do you want to do this?"
"Because it's you", Annie said, "I can't stand the thought of you going through this all by yourself. Can't let that happen. I'm with you all the way, Cubano"
Of course. She didn't have to say she loved him. She showed him every way she could.
"Thank you, Annie"
"I'll see you tomorrow. Call me if you have trouble sleeping"
"I will"
"Night, Raf"