Chapter Eleven
Jamie pulled gently on Eddie's arm and stood up with her. Slowly, with his cheek resting on hers, Jamie began to sway with Eddie in his arms, dancing to the music he heard in his head when he was near her…Eddie relished in the closeness and the support. "I know it breaks your heart to hear him do that, he loves you so much, he's his Mommy's boy."
Those words would have gone a mile to warm Eddie's heart even if Jamie didn't speak the next ones, "Oscar and Loretta want $1.2 million for the house and I personally think it's a bargain, but what's too much for you?"
"Nothing," Eddie replied quickly as they danced in perfect step. "Not just monetarily but also…I loved the house, that's a good price, but what are you thinking? It's a huge house, it's so far from home, and we'll only use it a few times a year…"
"I think," Jamie replied with a soft kiss on Eddie's hair. "That we have the money, it's not being squandered, it's being invested in our family and our future. We can vacation here and then when it's time, we retire here, and watch the kids and grandkids grow up here, we cangrow old here…" Jamie spun Eddie a little. "We can be buried out on that hill and another young couple can buy the house and carry on the tradition of love in that house."
Eddie cuddled in a little, to hear him talk about their family and their future…as one…
"Wow, you've really given this a lot of thought. Well maybe Max or April will, I mean maybe one of them will get lucky like we did and…" Eddie looked up at Jamie and saw his gentle eyes, soft features…she could see him older, worn, like Oscar with those bright eyes still shining at her.
"What do you say we call them tomorrow, I told Oscar I'd call at 10am, and we'll offer them full asking price for the house,' Jamie suggested. "Cash if that will work, maybe we can tie it all up before we go back to New York?"
"If he accepts it, yes cash will work. I just have to sign a few papers," Eddie replied. "Let's do that, let's call him and offer…I love you…"
Jamie shut his eyes, he loved to hear her whisper that.
Eddie leaned up and kissed Jamie's lips softly. She remembered what Loretta said, to reach out, to heal, to show him he was forgiven even if all wasn't forgotten, Eddie planned to do just that.
"What do you think, dear heart?" Oscar asked. "Is this the right couple for our home?" Oscar pulled Loretta into his arms and snuggled her tight, the old porch swing creaking as it swayed.
"I think so," Loretta replied. "I think they are the right ones to continue the legacy of love in this house. I can see their little family becoming a big one here. What do you think?"
"I agree," Oscar replied. "They can vacation here for now, then retire here, grow old here…maybe even one of their beautiful children will be so lucky." He kissed his wife's head.
"Do you think they'll make an offer?" Loretta asked curling up next to Oscar and letting him stroke her arm. "It's going to be so hard to leave."
"I know," Oscar whispered. "But it's not our home, it is just a house. Home is where we're with each other and that will be the same in Arizona as it is here in Montana."
That made Loretta relax a little bit, she sighed, she knew it was time, she knew in her heart this was right.
"He's going to call tomorrow at 10am," Oscar replied. "If they offer a million or more, I think we take it and perhaps even see if we can tie a lot of it up while they are still here, just for convenience sake. He's a Harvard lawyer…"
Loretta laughed, "That must grate on your Yale business nerves."
"Not a bit, they are right, I feel it," Oscar smiled. "But if you don't…"
"No I do, she's going to be a wonderful caretaker for this house…" Loretta knew it too, they had finally found the ones.
"If he offers a million or more," Loretta agreed. "Let's accept his offer and welcome them home. I love you…"
Oscar shut his eyes, he loved to hear her whisper that.
Loretta leaned up and kissed Oscar's lips softly. She remembered what she had told Eddie, to reach out, to love, to demonstrate…she planned to do just that.
While Jamie showered, Eddie stepped outside and made a call to Kara. She tried, she really did and their bodies connected, it was still that her heart hurt too much to relinquish it.
"Okay, tell me you aren't calling me on your honeymoon, you are supposed to be over the moon and blissfully happy!"
Eddie hoped Kara would be able to help her make heads or tales of this. She was overcome with emotion, still very much hurt but also concerned for her Jamie. "Kara…I don't know what to do. We had a big fight and now we are trying to make it right but…" Eddie sighed. "I hurt him, he hurt me and we're doing this horrible dance…I think I really did some damage, his words were so terrible, but I think I…I think I really hurt him too, closing off like I did. Like Claudia did to him before she'd hit him. His doctor said that it would just jump up at him…"
"Okay, take a deep breath," Kara sighed. "Start at the beginning and don't leave anything out."
Eddie relayed the talk about the money and the horrible things they both said to each other while they argued. "It just cut me so deep," Eddie confessed. "Jamie's never deliberately hurt me,
even with Claudia and telling me he got married it wasn't as bad as what he said about my little boy…"
"But he realized and he apologized," Kara replied. "Honey, I know, believe me I know how it hurts when your kids hurt. I understand how you feel but I think you are loosing your perspective here. You are clinging to the hurt, to the pain of his words, but that goes away, that's fleeting."
"Not to me,' Eddie replied. "We worked so long and so hard, Kara. So hard to make a family and he does that, "Use it for you and April, Max and I don't need it. I don't care about the money, I'll burn the money if that means we have our family I…"
"You…" Kara advised. "Need to let it go and embrace what you have with Jamie. Maybe don't focus on the words that upset you or the tension, focus on how he looks at you, like you're the best thing since the semi-automatic pistol, he worships you. He treats you like glass, he cherishes you, some women, believe me would take a million hurts to have a little bit of that. You are so lucky, don't hold onto this and let it ruin your time and your bond, Eddie. Don't."
Eddie sighed, "I love him so much, but he keeps striking out and it scared me, how much hurt is in him if he doles it out like that."
"Of course he does," Kara sighed. 'You're the best SVU detective I know, think of him a s victim for a second, think about what he went through with Claudia. He still needs help to learn how to communicate, this is a different Jamie, he's not going to be the same man. You can't expect that."
"To think of that," Eddie admitted. "Reminds me how hurt he was, it reminds me of the pain he went through and that…I love him so much."
"You both need to work this out, is he still…?"
"Oh yes, and he set up couple's sessions for us too, I should let it go I know that…"
"You have to be the strong one, you hold on until he can meet you half way, as long as he puts the work in, you have to hold on." Kara replied. "Like you would say to the husband of a rape victim or the foster parent of an abused child. You have to hold on if you love him…and I know you do."
Eddie agreed, she knew that Kara would help put things in perspective for her. She did have to hold on and to help Jamie and Max as well.
Eddie thanked her friend and snuggled under the blanket to wait for her husband, she was going to let go of the hurt, she was going to be his strength…she was going to live up to her vows, she would do that forever.
Jamie smiled when he stepped out of the shower, the look in his eyes was the one Kara mentioned. Eddie saw love and admiration…desire and loyalty, a soulful connection. Many women did not get that in a lifetime, she was lucky and she was going to make sure Jamie knew how much she loved him in return.
Eddie held Jamie close to her heart when he got into their bed. "Was that a good shower?" she asked softly stroking his wet hair. "You look relaxed."
Jamie nodded, "I'm glad we made a choice about the house, I'm glad we are communicating again and planning for the future of our family."
Eddie smiled softly, "Jamie, these last couple of days, I've been holding myself back, guarding myself a little and I…that's not right or fair to do to you. It's just not. I love you so much, you love me…I saw myself in Loretta and I saw you in the way Oscar looked at her. That is rare and precious and money, pride, anger, fear none of that is more important."
Jamie turned and met Eddie's eyes. She reached out and cupped both his cheeks guiding his lips to hers. Jamie's heart relaxed, this was the second time she reached out tonight, wanting a more intimate connection. Jamie savored the feeling running through his blood as Eddie directed their kisses and caresses, she directed their touches, it was all coming from her.
Eddie slowly rolled Jamie onto his back, she kissed along his neck and throat, leading a trail to his belly button. Jamie sighed at how tender her touch was, how connected and loved he felt as Eddie's lips worked their magic. Oscar was right, it was always perfect with his Eddie, a union of souls…
For the entire time, Eddie remained in control. Jamie had a hard time relinquishing control during this particular act, but tonight it was her way of reaching out and he would accept it. He was glad to have this chance.
It wasn't as if Jamie didn't want to make love, he did, and his Eddie was just so perfect. She leaned down, nibbling at his ear. He held her firmly in place, his body ready for hers. Jamie wanted it so much, he needed it…it wasn't just desire he felt, it was hope.
When it was over, Eddie curled up on Jamie's chest. She was tired and spent not just from this, the last few days were fun but also emotional and draining. Jamie's arms came up to stroke her hair, "Oh my love,' he sighed almost in relief. "I'm so…I was glad last night when we made love, I felt we needed to but tonight…I was really worried I cost us something when I let my pride get in the way."
"I was worried I did too, I held on too much," Eddie confessed. "This can be solved in New York, for now…stay with me in Montana?"
Jamie's eyes glowed, "My favorite place to be."
"You still want to go riding after we handle the house or wait?" Jamie asked as they each fought sleep.
"Let's see if they accept us," Eddie replied. "I do hope so, that would be the ultimate souvenir for the family, a place to go as a family, to learn and to love…"
"Not to mention an escape for us when things get crazy," Jamie whispered. "Montana has always been 8 days for us to regroup, doesn't have to be different now we're married does it?"
The light in Eddie's eyes told Jamie he asked just the right question at just the right time. "No," she whispered. "No it doesn't, there's no reason "Meet me in Montana" has to end…
"Try to get some sleep, we have a few more days and they'll be busy," Jamie whispered. "I'll hold you all night long."
Eddie rolled off Jamie and pulled him against her, "I'll snuggle you all night long."
They both kept their promises.