Chapter 11
Xalaina groaned when her father's messenger walked away from her room door. She rubbed her forehead, annoyed that she had been woken so early for a personal meeting with her still absent father.
At first, she hadn't cared much about where he was, but the longer he was gone, the more she wondered and the more she worried.
It had been easy to dismiss thoughts of what he might be plotting when she'd had a ship and could travel far from all this. Unfortunately, Xalaina was right in the middle of it again.
Going back into the bedroom she removed the night coat she'd slipped into to answer her door and looked over to her bed where Kylo Ren still slept. She never slept in his room, as was her preference, but he seemed to enjoy spending the night in hers.
Their intimate affair had been ongoing now for almost three weeks and each night created more questions between them. They had both come to realize that any conversation revolving around Snoke caused tension and sometimes an argument that usually resolved itself quickly, but Xalaina was realizing it was going to take something drastic to ever turn the Dark Jedi against his master.
She'd almost given up hope that Snoke would meet his end by Ren's hand. She would have to settle for something else, what that was she didn't know.
Funny enough, if Snoke had just let her go back to her travels her thoughts would not have returned to seeking his death. When so far detached from him she found it easy to just move on. She cursed herself for ever pushing his buttons that day she was captured on Jakku.
Sighing heavily, she dressed as quietly as possible and left Ren to sleep.
***
"My daughter," Snoke addressed Xalaina in his holographic form and it sent her on red alert.
He rarely addressed her as such and ever rarer was his tone. So soft and calming. Keeping her wits about her she stopped to stand in front of him. "I hope this won't take long. I rather enjoy my sleep." She replied glaring.
"Your training with Kylo Ren has got me thinking as of late. I noticed that your years of travel had created a softness in you. Your skills in battle lacking from practice and motivation. However, as of late I find your energy and enthusiasm renewed. I had expected Ren to easily best you by now and yet I find myself pleasantly surprised that you have seemed to grow with him." Snoke smiled, an expression that made Xalaina uncomfortable.
"As with anything, practice against a real foe forces one to enhance their efforts." She replied wondering where all this was going.
"It's more than that. I've never seen you so focused. I had wondered if leaving you alone with my apprentice was a good idea, but I now see it was probably the best. The two of you feed off one another, determined to set a new standard each time you meet in battle."
Xalaina withheld a smirk. 'The same could be said for the bedroom' she thought. Her amusement disappeared quickly as her father continued speaking on the matter. His tone was nothing but pleased and, though someone else would be excited for the praise Xalaina was not.
"I am reconsidering my offer to hand you over in marriage to the General in favor of this new development." Surprise hit her hard and for a moment she held her breath. She didn't dare think this didn't come without a price. "Considering all current observations I have something I'll need from you. You, my dear daughter, have placed yourself back in my good graces and perhaps you shall still make me proud."
"Oh joy, oh bliss," Xalaina's sarcasm went ignored.
"I return home tomorrow so that we can discuss my new arrangement for you. Until then," Snoke's image disappeared and Xalaina scowled at the empty space.
She was sure that whatever her father wanted from her it wouldn't be good. She could almost feel a fight on the horizon.
***
When Ren woke, he woke alone. The light of day had yet to split the darkness and the moonlight was still there, however, dim. Sitting up he spotted Xalaina dressed and sat near a window looking out seemingly in deep thought.
"You wake early," he said carefully examining her tight posture and nervous biting on her pinky nail.
"Thanks to Snoke. You slept through the messenger that had come to fetch me. My father wished to talk." She continued to look outside, she often did this when her mind was anywhere else but directly on Ren.
Kylo Ren was not foolish enough to pry into what her father had wanted. If Snoke had intended for Ren to be privy to the information he would have summoned them both, although in hindsight the messenger wouldn't have found Ren to inform him as no one knew about their affair.
"The hour is still early, you should come back to bed."
"Sleep won't ease my mind. Snoke has plans for me, he needs something from me and I don't yet know what. It's been a long time since he's been so pleasant to me, and I can tell you right now that it doesn't bode well for my future." She glared into the darkness of the outside sky. "He returns to attend me personally tomorrow." She added.
"He's been gone longer than I had expected," Ren noted.
"Indeed. Makes you wonder what he's been doing to neglect his apprentice this way. What pressing concerns takes him away from your oh so important training?" She finally looked at him and Ren was disturbed by the worry in her expression.
He was beginning to accept that the Snoke he knew was far different from the one she grew up with. He had once thought she was overreacting or perhaps even telling him lies, but now he knew better.
"You'll drive yourself crazy if you sit there thinking about things you have no answers to, come back to bed." Ren knew all too well about allowing one's thoughts to consume them.
Hesitant, but caving, Xalaina slipped from her chair, her clothing discarded as she made it to the bed and joined him beneath the blankets. Ren lay on his side facing her, he'd never shared so much of his time with a woman before, it brought him comfort in a way he didn't plan to voice.
The nightmares he often had when trying to sleep seemed to vanish on nights he spent next to her. As if some part of him knew he was not alone.
In his youth, even though he'd had his mother living with him all the time and his father most of the time he'd felt alone. They never truly understood him, never seemed to take the time to. Both of them too busy doing their own thing.
Xalaina afforded him a strange comfort. Perhaps he was getting too comfortable. He recalled her telling him how if he'd kill her during their fight her father would be very proud of Ren, but what would that do for Ren?
True enough Ren fed off of the praise given by his master, but overall it would not give him any more strength or make any significant change. Snoke had hinted that killing Han Solo would elevate Ren, make him more powerful, but instead Ren felt weaker. Subdued by guilt and sorrow.
Kylo Ren didn't show it, did not express it, but the death of his father weighed heavily on him despite their rocky past and wavering relationship.
Many nights, alone in his room, Ren dreamt of that moment over and over again. The touch of his father's hand against his cheek, the last touch he'd ever feel from him. The look of shock and then something akin to forgiveness in his eyes.
Ren often woke from those dreams sweating and unable to go back to sleep. Killing his father had done nothing, it was pointless. His father died for nothing. It did not change Ren for the better. It had not made him stronger, nor had it served as a purpose to confirm Kylo Ren had chosen the right path.
All these things Ren had hoped would be answered in that final decision, a decision that had not been easy. Had he hesitated a moment longer he may not have gone through with it at all and his father would be still alive.
If Snoke sensed Ren's feelings on the matter of Han Solo he had not said so. If Snoke knew, perhaps he would think him weak and foolish.
"Your thoughts are far away," Xalaina's voice brought Kylo Ren back to focus on her face. He'd become so lost in thought he'd forgotten where he was.
"As were your only moments ago," his reminder gave the intended reaction, Xalaina frowned.
"In the past, when my father has ever had plans for me, it's never gone well on my part. I do not look forward to tomorrow, not in the least." She rolled over placing her back to him and forgetting about his previous distractions.
Ren stared at the back of her blond head a moment longer before his eyes moved down to look at the exposed scars that her hair currently did not cover.
Ren knew battle, but he never knew this sort of... torture. The scars sent a clear message and an everlasting reminder that punishment would follow should she step too far out of line. Ren didn't approve of this harsh treatment but understood why so many used this sort of tactic.
It was meant to instil fear in the receiver. To create obedience and to break them like an animal. Oddly enough Ren felt like all this did for her was build her stronger. She did not seem to fear her father, but she was smart enough to know how far she could push him.
Ren had seen this kind of strength rise in tortured people before. Instead of given up they create a mindset where they become more determined to never crack.
General Hux often beat and tortured his captives for information in hopes to crack them. However, there were always those few who didn't give in, not even in the bitter end.
Ren saw a sort of honor in that. The fact someone could believe, no matter how foolishly, in a cause enough to die for it. However, Ren had no intentions of dying unless it was in battle. He would not become a prisoner.
His thoughts finally drifting off, Ren fell back to sleep.
Thank you's
Loki's Princess 94: You're so right. Sex, in this case, isn't about love, isn't about growing closer. It's really a way to pass time. lol They both have an attraction to one another and instead of ignoring it they are embracing it.