Author's Notes: Last letter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Powers: Hetalia

How's it goin', Vito the Con?

I had to find your mafia name too.

Being a ninja is pretty cool. At least you realize the awesomeness of being a pirate. There's hope for you yet.

Don't lie, I know you find me attractive. Everyone does.

If he's like me he's got to be pretty cool (not as cool as I am though). Why wouldn't I want to meet someone like me?

They were uncomfortable because you were bad at choosing clothes for someone as amazing as me.

Y-you remember that? It wasn't that bad. It was your fault that girl hit me in the first place. You gave me advice on what to do and it was the lamest, most horrible advice ever! I knew I shouldn't have trusted you, but it did because I'm didn't want to hurt your feelings. Because I'm a hero and heroes don't hurt people's feelings (that's also why I ate your cooking).

It's still good advice, after all, you do have a drinking problem. I can get you signed up for AA if you want!

¿Tú hablas español?

They do to look young forever! I know a lot about the rest of the world. For example, it's round and about 70% of it is made of water. So there.

Yes! Wheelchair races here we come! We will dominate! And my name will come first because I'm bigger and stronger than you. The strongest hero always has his name first. Don't you read comics?

I am a little upset with Arizona (a lot of Americans are right now) but I proud of him for making his own decisions. My states are well behaved! They act like true Americans (except for maybe California. I'm a little concerned about her. She's a little loopy).

Mexico would never be able to beat me up! I'm only hiding to save him the pain if he did find me. I would kick his but back over the border easily. It's just unfair for me to use my strength against someone so much weaker than me. I'm just thoughtful like that.

Everyone should be concerned about me feet. You know what I found out? It's all your fault there's an oil spill the gulf in the first place. You know what BP stands for? British Petroleum! You are the reason my feet are dirty and Mexico wants to kill me! I'm so going to tell on you to him! Then you'll have to hide under your desk. I can't believe you acted like none of it was your fault. That's not heroic.

So does that mean all I have to do is think about getting a Christmas present? That would save me some money. You told me you liked your gift card! My dead presidents are having heart attacks for all your lies!

I have friends! You're my friend, Japan is my friend, China is my…oh wait, no he's not (crap, I still owe him money). I have tons of friends, I just can't think of them all right now.

That power has gotten me lots of hamburgers and super strength. That's what every superhero needs. There is no "u" in favorite! And "dumb-face" is a great comeback. You couldn't even think up your own, you had to use mine.

I know a lot about literary devices. I've always been this smart. Heroes have to be smart if they want to catch the bad guys!

I know, right? How could Justin Bieber come out of Canada? These are the questions that may never be answered. What do you mean you hardly noticed him when he was younger? Canada lived with us?

YOU BIG LIAR! I looked at a map of the world on the computer and Australia is next to New Zealand not Germany! That was really not nice, Iggy. I don't tell you lies about geography! I bet you're just upset because your economy isn't doing too well. Understandable but not acceptable!

I also looked at New Zealand on the map. Dang, that's a small country. Still, it's bigger than you are (not that that's a difficult feat to achieve).

It wasn't Justin Timberlake. He signed with Usher. Duh. Do your research. It's not like could control the situation! I wish he was still a nameless Canadian. It's still all Canada' fault.

Now I know geography. I have a world map on my computer!

If that's not how a balanced meal works then how does it really work, smarty-pants?

I like sending and receiving mail from you. And I like you. We are pen pals! Yay!

The Mayans don't exist anymore? Then why the heck do I believe their crazy predictions? I'm not going to believe it anymore because I don't want to die. Mexico wouldn't be able to land a punch.

I will not be a ghost! That's not going to happen because I'm not going to die. And you won't be able to see it because you'll die first. I'm younger so I have longer to live.

Christopher Walken is the bomb-diggity. "MORE COWBELL!"

Well, who should I get to kiss him then? I really want to find out what will happen.

I have a brain! I couldn't write you this letter if I didn't have a brain! Don't mention my economy, buddy. Yours isn't doing too well either.

Everything about the Tongue Theory is logical. My accent is heroic. Have you ever heard of a superhero with a British accent? I know I haven't.

My food would be heaven. I'm not insulting you, I pointing out all the things you do wrong. I'm trying to help, like all heroes do.

Your dictionary sucks.

I'll see you when your plane lands!

From the hero hiding the shadows,

Yuuko Zero

(my ninja name).

P.S. Were you a pirate? You should tell me about it when you get here!

AN: I looked up Alfred's name on a ninja name generator and on the first one I got "Drunken Sailor, the Obese Ninja". It's like a combination of Artie and Alfred. Lol.

So that was the last letter. The next chapter will be a real chapter (with plot!) and it'll be up soon!

So, I thought I might let you know I allow anonymous reviews (as long as you promise not to be a spammer). Just in case that changes your mind about reviewing. ;)