~o~o~o~O~o~o~o~
My eyes shut open as the sun's glorious rays pierce through the window.
'Today's the day.' I thought. She's going to arrive.
I got up from bed, fixed my sheets, and took off my sleepwear. Before wearing my daily king's clothing, I quickly wrapped bandages on my chest. The the thought of yesterday's talk with Lancelot made my cheeks flush a bit.
"I almost kissed the king. It won't be such a bad thing."
What was that about? My whole face started having a crimson hue.
"I could almost fall for you, if you really were a lady."
"Stop thinking about that you stupid brain!" I covered my face in my palms. Why must a woman's heart be so vulnerable to men like him? It's too sudden for me to like him.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
I opened the door to see who the person was. It was my head maid, Bertila.
"Oh, I apologize you're majesty. I didn't realize you aren't fully clothed." I realized that I wasn't done putting on my clothes. I just had my bandages and female undergarments on. I didn't have to worry though. Bertila and the other maids were the only ones who knew my secret.
"It's alright, you can start doing what you need to do." I said.
"You're room is quite tidy today and your bed is fixed. I might as well check on your closet just in case there is anything unpleasant." She proceeded to arrange some of my messy clothes and inspecting some of always does this to check if there's anything odd in my wardrobe.
"Hmmm, you've been hiding some of your gowns again, your Highness." She pulled out some of my dresses and folded them properly.
"Princess, please proceed to the vanity table." Bertila requested.
I did as I was told and sat down.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm going to brush your hair, princess."
"You don't need to do that and please stop calling me that. I am not a princess." I'm not used to be called princess. No, not at all. I'm completely comfortable with King Arthur. In my opinion, it would really sound wrong if they'd call me Queen Arturia or Princess Arturia.
"You are, you're majesty. Since you are not properly crowned as queen, you are technically a princess." She replied. That was true, though. I was crowned as the monarch with much to hide. If I were to be the proper ruler, I needed to be the queen and not the king.
"It seems you're right." My head maid started brushing my hair. My other maids usually do this when they have free time.
"You're hair is so lovely! It would be a shame if you keep on tying it in a bun." Bertila complimented.
"Suspicions might rise if I let my hair down." I countered. I didn't really like the idea of me showing off my really long hair in front of my knights. I didn't really own long hair in my past life, it was straight shoulder length. I wanted feel and look different, so I grew it. This time, my hair turned wavy and reached until my lower bottom.
"Wouldn't it be nice if some of your knights saw you as you and not as the king." It would feel awkward if they did see me as me. I guess the only person who would accept me was Kay and Bedivere. I wouldn't be very sure about Gawain and Lancelot.
"Isn't Guinevere arriving today?" I changed the subject.
"She will, you're majesty. From this day on, you're her fiance. It will be quite difficult, since you told be that she is attached to one of your knights." Bertila said while brushing my long golden blonde locks continuously.
"You mean Lance...lot?" I turned my head away. It was a little hard for me to say his name. Because of those two previous incidents, it was really tough to make contact with him.
"Looks like our crown princess admires the perfect knight." My maid cooed.
"N-no! He's for Guinevere, not me. I never liked him! He's gone berserk and tried to kill me anyway- I mean he didn't try to kill me in this era. Forget it!" I tried to defend. Me, falling in the painful clutches of love? I think not!
"But why are you yelling, you're majesty." She smirked.
"N-nothing! Bertila can you please brush my hair faster? I need to go to the throne room."
"Alright."
At Throne Room...
No POV
Princess Guinevere stood while waiting for the knight king. As she scanned her eyes through the room, something or someone caught her eye. It was the Knight of the Lake. Handsome he was with his raven black hair, pale skin, deep violet eyes, and tall and muscular form. His face held the expression of confusion and despair. He didn't know if he should accept Guinevere's fate or not.
It was not their fault that both of them had the same feeling. They both held a longing for each other, but this emotion could destroy the whole kingdom of Camelot. They wanted to be by each other's side, yet this cannot be fulfilled.
"This is the day where I leave your arms, right?" Guinevere looked at Lancelot with much sadness. You see, these two met since they were children. After Arturia left, he and the princess of Cameliard met. The two thought that they were for each other, not knowing there would be another. Lancelot never spoke of Arturia and kept it to himself. The memory pained him until now.
"I'm sorry, I don't know where to place my loyalty to. I couldn't choose between you or the king." It was true. He loved the king in a brotherly way. He may even sacrifice his own life just to make Arthur safe. Little did he know that his most adored king was his beloved princess or did he? She was by his side all this time.
"Will you allow me to slip away?" The brunette princess choked on her tears. Like what her father said, a duty is a duty, put your obligations before yourself.
"I have to, there is no other choice." The knight needed to do the right thing.
"It doesn't have to be like this! We could meet secretly." Princess Guinevere felt desperation flowing through her whole body.
"I can't. I apologize, but I can't do this." Lancelot was not afraid of the risk of being caught with her, yet he never wanted to lose Arthur's trust. He felt like their friendship held a very deep connection that was still unanswered.
"Why can't you show your real emotions. I know you still love me." A tear started to roll down her cheek.
"I plead to you, just give me time to think." The Knight of the Lake walked away and stayed with the other knights.
.
.
Arturia POV
This was too painful for me to see. I really felt sorry for the both of them. Why would the grail want to separate them? They were very sweet together. What is the grail's purpose to make them far from each other? Why must I be the one to make them part from each other? I hold no envy for them, since I do not admire Guinevere.
"Lancelot?" I said as I approached. I lowered my eyes and tried not make eye contact.
"Yes, you're highness?" He softened his gaze as he looked at the king. He noticed that the Arthur looked vulnerable at this time. There was regret on her face. Lancelot wondered if something bothered his king.
"I don't think I can do this..." I turned my head away. My chest felt heavy and painful. Because of my ideals, people had to lose their happiness and suffer the consequences.
"Why do you think?"
"I can't marry a person you love." Lancelot's eyes widened when I stated this. He loved Guinevere more than anyone else. I can't ruin their lives, but I also can't abandon my duties.
"It doesn't matter anymore, you're majesty. She's all yours." He smiled at his king.
The tension building up in my body was too much for me to take. It was like trying to burn me from the inside. The grail wants me to destroy their love.
Before I was about to say something to Lancelot, Guinevere approached me with a courteous bow.
"Greetings, King Arthur." I was thankful she forgot about me being a girl. She seemed really depressed about this whole marriage union. Her shiny amethyst eyes turned very dull and lifeless.
"Are you alright?" I asked. Obviously, she wasn't feeling good. I pretended I didn't see anything between her and my knight.
"Yes." It was her only answer. She couldn't deny to the king's wishes.
"Please, feel free to roam around the castle." I faked a smile.
.
.
Later that night...
I sat in front of my vanity table brushing my hair. What am I going to do with a princess living in my palace? I always wondered what it felt like to be in Guinevere's place.
'You're not in a good mood.' The grail called out.
"Why would I be? You're telling me to ruin a perfectly good relationship." My brow twitched. All I wanted was a taste of freedom.
'Oh come on, child. You were the one who said they ruined your kingdom.'
"It doesn't mean I have to make them part from each other."
'You should. Everything I tell you has a purpose.' The grail chuckled.
"Then why can't you tell me!" I was starting get irritated with that grail.
'It's a secret. If I did tell you, you wouldn't like it at all.'
"Why not? I can take anything. It won't bother me anyway." I was filled with determination to know why I should break those two apart. I hope that grail wouldn't set me up with a trick.
I was about to protest on that grail's idea until I heard a knock on my door. Wait, I forgot to lock my door.
"Arthur, are you alright? I can hear you speaking with someone." Lancelot called out. He may think I sounded retarded. No, I was speaking with that grail. I hope he won't open that door.
"I'm not. I'm just... fixing a problem!" I called out. What a stupid excuse I made! I can't fool him, he's too smart to in believe that.
"Are you sure, your majesty?" His voice was filled with concern. Why does he have to be so thoughtful?! He's like Gawain, but less energetic.
"Yes, I'm quite sure."
"But you sound like your crying."
"I'm not crying. I'm just... I-I died on the inside." It was true. I felt kind of empty. Actually, I wasn't crying, I just sounded really down. Why? First, I was re-birthed to change my fate. Second, the only way to change it was to rule as myself. Third, I need to break the relationship between her and him.
Without saying anything, Lancelot broke in my room. I tried to hide, but he saw me. I was caught in my nightgown. "Yes?" I said, trying to sound innocent.
"You again?" He said. A gentle smile came on his face. He bowed down in front of me. It looked like he can't be fooled this time. He scanned his eyes through my room. 'Suspicious...' He thought. He wasn't letting his guard down, this time. Something to him is very wrong and he already knew. At this time, he was just playing along.
"Shouldn't you be surprised that an unknown woman is spotted in your king's room?" That was odd, I was sure he would threaten me to leave. He would usually scare off intruders.
"I'm not. It's just you, anyway."
"Just me? I'm an outsider. I shan't be welcomed in this palace, for I have no positions." I'm glad he'll be leaving after I said that. First thing you know, he's curious about you, then later on, it's like he knows what's happening right now.
"Shhh," he put his finger on his lips, "you're secret is safe with me, princess."
"What are you talking about?!"
"The scattered dresses on your bed, that tiara on your vanity table, and that voice of your's that keeps on changing its tone. You were so secretive about everything." He didn't look really mad. He wasn't even surprised, it was like he was used to this scenario.
I lowered my head. It was much different in my past life, he knew my gender since I simply told him. "Fine... you caught me. What are you going to do know? You're going to tell the others about this, right?" I need to put myself together! Do not appear weak in front of your knight. You cannot afford to look vulnerable.
"I'll try to protect you even more." It was the only thing he said.
"Excuse me?" My eyebrows were knitted together.
"Did I offend you? I apologize. I didn't mean to say that. I'll protect you even more, not because your a woman, but because you hold a secret that wasn't meant for any of us to know." I didn't know what to say. I don't like being protected at all. I feel weak.
"Are you serious? If you do this, you're going to carry really heavy burden because of me." I can't let one of my knights risk their life for my sake.
"It's alright. You're going through a lot of pain, I think its best if you rest." I didn't fight this time. I crawled on top of my bed and put my blanket on. So many things going on in my head right now. Now I have another I have to get used to.
"You're going to leave, already?" I asked.
"Do you want me to stay with you? It's alright with me. I can watch over you while you sleep, so you don't have to be afraid." Why does he have to speak with me this way? I have so many questions that are unanswered.
"I-I didn't mean it that way!" I tried not to blush.
"If I do need help, I will try to turn to you."
"Very well, you're majesty." Lancelot sighed.
"Before you leave, I want to thank you for being concerned with me." I looked at his face. He smiled and left.
After that, I locked my doors, making sure not any one of my knights would see me right know.
.
.
'What was that about?' The great grail questioned out of nowhere.
"What do you mean?" I raised a brow.
'You turned down an opportunity!'
"Opportunity?"
'That nice man offered to watch over you, and you declined that offer.'
"Forget it, I'm going to sleep." I laid my head on my soft pillow.
'You didn't have to say no.' The grail continued to pester me.
"I can sleep on my own, so good night." I said dryly. I continued to ignore my surroundings and my mind drifted to sleep.
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