Chapter 11

It seemed like hours but it was only seconds until the kiss was broken. Pushing her away from him Barnabas stroked her hair from her face and wiped the tears from her cheek. "Vicki, I have waited what seemed a lifetime to hear those words you just spoke." He bent to kiss her lips again and broke the light kiss. Pulling her into his arms, she wanted to just melt into him.

Vicki smiled through her tears and laid her head on his shoulder. "The only thing that would make my life more complete would be to hear you say you love me in return." She spoke into his shoulder soaking his coat with her tears. "I have been so alone for so long Barnabas. I have wanted only to have you in my life since that horrible man that was your cousin took me from those I loved and you." Her words faded when she had said you.

Barnabas gently pulled her away from his shoulder leaning down to plant another feathery light kiss on her forehead. Not wanting this moment to end he tugged her closer to his body. He spoke from his heart. "I thought you knew that I have loved you from the first day I met you. I was afraid to declare that love for fear that you would reject me. You were engaged to Burke. I did not wish to interfere with that and so I kept my distance." It was half truths but that is what he needed to have what he wanted and that was what he held in his arms.

Vicki felt safe, secure and content in his arms as she nestled her head on his coat. "I thought I loved Burke, he was the first person I met when I first came to Collinwood. He was dangerous and had been out to destroy the Collins family and I could not have that. They had become my extended family. Then it was all over, his anger with Roger and he had become so charming and was there for me when Maggie got so ill and then disappeared and of course when she died I was devastated."

He had fought his emotions when she spoke of Maggie and how she died and he could not tell her that Maggie lived, which was his secret he held with Julia. He held her tighter to reassure her that he understood but it was also for him to release the tension her words had brought the guilt of what he had done. She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts, "Then my life turned upside down and I felt conflicted. There was someone else slowly making his way into my heart."

She lifted her gaze to look up into his eyes, "After Burke died, I was alone and you were there. When you weren't there Barnabas, my life felt bleak and I felt I was so alone." She lifted her fingertips to stroke his cheek, her eyes were shining more than with the tears she had just shed, " You gave me hope and you loved me in a way that dear friends love one another."

Her lips edged with a tender smile as she poured her heart out to him. "I was so alone and afraid when I was with Vlad. I could not think of anyone else but you. I would cry out for you in my mind and I prayed that you would come. I had to hold on to the hope that you would be with me soon and take me away from the madness. I knew he was a relative but he was so insane."

It had been a while since he felt the urge to take her as his eternal mate and now the feeling was stronger than ever. He wanted her so badly. His mind was fixed to his need and his eyes shifted and looked at her throat. He wanted to sink his teeth into her neck, to drink of her blood and make her his forever. The emotions he was feeling always triggered the blood lust.

He had to get control, she had just professed her love and the serum Julia had given him yesterday must be wearing off. Fighting his desire to bring her over, he closed his eyes and concentrated. After the feeling passed he knew he loved her heart and soul and he could never do to her what he had wanted to do with Josette and that was to make her as he was.

Barnabas pushed her back and peered deeply in her eyes. "I was beside myself with fear. I did not know what he would do to you and I was afraid for you. He was no family of mine . . . "

She hugged him close and spoke into his chest, "Why did he say he was your cousin and you agreed with him?"

Barnabas had to think quickly and replied, "Because my dear, he is my cousin. I just could not claim him as family if he wanted to hurt you. Unfortunately, he was mad and took his madness out on you. I was filled with guilt that someone I was related to could do such a horrible thing to someone I loved very much. I have been beside myself with guilt, so that is why I was avoiding you."

For Vicki it made perfect sense now why he had been avoiding her. He had felt guilty because one of his relatives had done her harm. "Oh Barnabas, do you not know? I would never have blamed you for his actions. I prayed nightly that you would come to rescue me and you did. I will be forever grateful for all you have done for me. That is one of the many reasons I love you as I do."

Barnabas kissed the top of her head and going down on bended knee. Taking her hand in his he looked up with adoring eyes of love, "I would like to ask you Victoria, would you do me the honor of being my wife?" He had carried the box around in his pocket for 2 weeks. He remembered the day he had topped by Braithwaite's and picked out the ring. He had selected and bough her an engagement ring over a year ago. It had been shortly after Burke's death and his plans had been to make her into Josette. When Vlad had taken her he felt this ring would never be on her finger.

Vicki peered into his eyes her eyes filling with tears of joy and she nodded. " Barnabas Collins I would be honored to accept your proposal and gladly accept the role of Mrs. Barnabas Collins. To me you are my sweet precious love."

Barnabas reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, opening it Vicki peered at a large one-carat marquise cut diamond surrounded by a circle of emeralds on a wide gold band. Taking the ring out of the box, Barnabas slid it on her finger. "I hoped you like it."

Vicki was over whelmed with feelings peering down in disbelief at the ring. "It is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen."

Barnabas smiled, very pleased with himself. "Well shall we go and tell the others. I know they are waiting for us to come in."

Vicki nodded and felt Barnabas slid his arm around her waist. Walking together they entered the foyer of Collinwood, Vicki noticed the drawing room doors were closed and approached then softly knocked on the door. She turned to smile watching Barnabas take off his coat. The muffled voice of Elizabeth spoke loud enough to be heard through the door. "Come in." Barnabas stepped to Vicki side and let her open the door to the drawing-room.

Elizabeth looked up and smiled. "Hello Vicki, darling I was wondering when you were going to come in. I knew it had to be getting cold." Looking to Barnabas she smiled. "Hello Barnabas won't you please come in and have a seat?"

Roger was standing by the fireplace looking quiet provincial in his smoking jacket. He too cordially invited Barnabas to come in and sit. "Barnabas we have not seen so much of you lately. Is everything all right at the old house?"

Barnabas put his arm around Vicki's waist. "Roger, Elizabeth, we have an announcement to make." She peered up into his eyes and she was glowing with her news. "Go ahead my dear let Cousin Elizabeth and Cousin Roger know your news." He was going to allow her to show her ring to the family.

Elizabeth noted the look of joy on her face. She could tell something monumental happened because Vicki was beaming as she held up her hand. Barnabas spoke as she displayed the ring on her finger. "I have asked Victoria to marry me and she has graciously accepted."

From behind them David shouted, "No! You can't! You took my house away and now you want to take Vicki!" Vicki turned and looked at the crestfallen face of David. She had watched him start to mature from the ill-mannered hot-tempered prankster of nine to a more calmer maturing ten year old. Seeing his look, those soulful brown eyes fringed with his sandy blond hair, his face streaked from some ungodly play place he had frequented earlier gave all the signs of a major melt down for the boy.

"No, David, I am not going anywhere. I will be living at the old house with Barnabas and you will see me every day."

"No you won't you will go away like all those I love do. You will disappear or he will kill you!" His outburst was growing into more of the old David and that last statement had hit Roger with an ultimate slap in Barnabas' face. Before his father could react David turned and ran off, taking the steps two at a time in a temper fueled tantrum.. Getting to the top of the stairs he ran through the doorway and slammed the door.

Roger followed him bellowing, "David, young man you come right down here and apologize to Miss Winters and Barnabas immediately." His last words were accented with the slamming of the door.

Vicki turned to Barnabas and spoke softly, "Will you excuse me for a few moments, I want to talk to David. I think I need to explain to him, I am not leaving him." Vicki kissed Barnabas on the cheek and then turned to face Roger, "Roger its ok. He is upset, let me talk to him."

Liz stood up stepping next to Barnabas. "She will get him calmed down. I am happy for you Barnabas, and this gives me a chance to speak with you about something important."

Roger walked back into the room and poured himself a stiff drink, "Does anyone else need anything after that tirade?"

Elizabeth turned to her brother, though Roger held an arrogance of wealth and privilege to his slender build, he was still Roger, born with an inherent weakness to avoid taking responsibility for his own actions and the actions of his son. Elizabeth tolerated his high-handed ways because he was a Collins and her brother. She recognized what he was and accepted he would never change. He would manipulate any situation and favor anyone that could better his position even if it went against his sister.

Liz had a serious look to her manner and tone. Speaking slowly she looked to her cousin Barnabas but spoke to Roger. "Roger would you pour me a sherry and Barnabas anything for you?"

Barnabas shook his head. "No thank you cousin Elizabeth."

Roger came back handing his sister a sherry while he took up his post at the fireplace. Once again shoving his hand into his pocket and assuming a superior air.

"Thank you Roger, I am glad we are all together. There is something I have meant to tell you for a long time." Liz took a sip of her sherry for courage and then she looked at Roger. Letting her gaze travel to Barnabas. Barnabas had known her for a while and if anything Elizabeth Collins Stoddard was direct, forceful and to the point. This was out of character for her to hedge on what she wanted to say.

With this need to seek courage in her drink; he felt she was gathering courage for a life-changing announcement. Finally, she looked down at the drink in her hand "I have kept a secret for some years and I did not know how to tell you, Roger. I had sworn that you would never know. That was in the beginning. "Roger looked at Liz and then to Barnabas, Liz continued "I did not . . . my wish was not to become the black sheep in the family, I was afraid of bringing shame to the family."

She stood and walked to the double French windows that overlooked the front of Collinwood. Barnabas felt he was about to be privy to some personal information. "Perhaps I should go find Vicki so you and Roger may continue this talk. It appears that it is of an extremely personal nature and you are having difficulty with revealing your secret."

Liz turned to look at Barnabas. "No, Barnabas, this affects you too. I want you to stay. You see, I have known about your affection for Vicki for sometime. When she was going to marry Burke it was something I intended to take to my grave. I was not going to let anyone know about what happened or how it happened or why. Now that you are engaged to Vicki and you are a part of the family and you should know."

Roger set his glass down and sat on the sofa with Barnabas folding his arms over his chest he tried to keep the bored look from taking over his features. "Liz, what exactly are you trying to say?" He then sat back and crossed his left leg over his right one. He was bordering on boredom with what he thought was Liz being dramatic.

Elizabeth took a deep breath let it out and then began with her story, "Roger, Barnabas, before there was Paul Stoddard, there was a man. I was young and I had fallen in love with him. We were lovers."

Roger sat forward unfolding his legs and uncrossing his arms and the look Roger had on his face reminded Liz of their father Jamison Collins. "What! Did father know?"

Liz shook her head. "You were at college and no, father did not know I had became pregnant. I left Collinsport and went to New York to have the baby. It was a girl and I gave her up and placed her in a fondling home."

Roger stood then picked up his drink and started to swallow, choking on the drink. He sat his glass down. "Elizabeth, are you saying that . . . that Vicki?" Roger stood and walked to face his sister who was now in tears.

"Yes, Vicki is my little girl. She was a child born out-of-wedlock and I gave her up. I brought her here as David's governess so I could bring her home."

Barnabas stood to take up a stance next to Roger facing his cousin. He reached forward and drew her into his arms and held her close. Speaking softly he asked, "Why have you not told her?"

Liz stepped back reaching to hold Barnabas' arms and steady her own trembling legs. "I just could not find a way to tell her and I did not want to tell her until Carolyn was told. I was so close so many times and then fate seemed to step in and stop me."

Barnabas pulled her close to give her comfort in his embrace, "When do you plan to tell her?" He did not want to press her on the matter but knew it was really important for Vicki's sake to make sure she was told. He hoped it was before the wedding.

Roger was pacing back and forth behind the sofa, his hands clasped behind his back. He was practically huffing with each step he took. His outrage was more for his own feelings instead of his sister's. "Elizabeth, you have wounded me deeply by keeping this secret. Why I could have made a big mistake in trying to seduce her."

Elizabeth looked up watching her brother and shook her head. "Roger had you shown anything but contempt for her when she first arrived, I would have told you then to avoid a nasty situation and embarrassing situation."

Barnabas released his hold on Liz stepping back he sat on the sofa. "So, do you plan to tell her before our wedding?" He ignored the dramatics of Roger and focused on Liz.

Liz shifted to collapse on one of the fireside wing back chairs. "I was hoping that now you both know, you could be present when I tell her and Carolyn." She turned her pleading gaze to Barnabas and she too ignored the posturing of Roger. Elizabeth was very upset and doing all she could to not loose control. She certainly did not Rogers histrionics.

Barnabas nodded, "I think that would be fine my dear cousin."

Roger began to pace back and forth again. "I am terribly hurt Liz, that you did not tell me. Who is her father?"

Liz stood facing the fireplace. "I would prefer you not know Roger. The father is married, he has standing in the community and it was so long ago that for now, I would prefer to keep that information to myself." She looked down and had to admit to her other mistake. Looking at the fire, pressing her hands together she spoke, " You see I never told the father that I was pregnant. He had gone away to college. His family did not need to be upset over what we both had done so I kept my secret to myself."

She took a huge breath and let it out slowly, then she continued with her defense of her actions, "He has children and well, I would not like to upset the family. It would be especially hard on them now with her grown and the whole situation a moot point."

Roger was running through the list of men that he knew and Liz had known back in the day before Paul Stoddard. He was slowly discounting one after another with each bit of information she had given. Folding his arms over his chest and rested his chin on his folded fingers. Then he asked, "Do you ever intend to tell Victoria who her father is? For that matter he still must be living or you would not have hesitated in telling us."

Liz wrung her hands and fought back her tears. "Roger the man is a prominent member of our community and in the public eye, I do not wish to ruin that for him now over what two foolish teens did twenty-three years ago!"

Roger stopped pacing as Liz's eyes welled up. "Oh Liz, I am sorry. I just guess I am playing the outraged brother twenty-three years too late."

David's Bedroom

Vicki sat on the edge of David's bed. David laid with his face down crying into his pillow. "Go away, Vicki, I hate you, go away." Vicki tried to pat his back and felt him roll away from her touch. Using all the patience she had she folded her hands into her lap.

Vicki sighed and bit her bottom lip. "David, you don't hate me, you are just upset because you think I won't be here any more. I want to assure you, that I will be here, and you will continue to be a very important part of my life." She gently rubbed his back and then patted it softly, " I will be living at the old house and we can come and visit each other. You may say you hate me, but I love you David, you have become important to me and if anything were to happen to you, I would be grief-stricken."

David sniffed and rolled over lying on his side. "But Vicki, Barnabas? I thought you loved Burke? Barnabas is too old for you. You said you thought Burke would come back." He was reaching for any reason he could think of to not make her choice be Barnabas.

Vicki stood up from his bed, and David saw how upset she had become as she walked to the single long stain glassed window. She pushed it open and felt the rush of the evening air cool her warm face. Choosing her words carefully she said, "David, I will always love Burke. Burke is dead. I did not want it to be but a part of me will always hope that he did not die. However, there is conclusive proof he is dead and now I must let him go and I must learn to live and let the dead rest. I have to move on with my life."

She was struggling with her guilt as she continued to explain the unexplainable. "Barnabas is a wonderful man who loves me for whom I am and does not wish to change me." She turned using her hands to be expressive with her thoughts and feelings. "It is hard to explain, I have feelings inside me that allows me to feel a different kind of love for Barnabas than what I felt for Burke and what I feel for you. "

David stood up from his bed and wiped his nose on the back of his shirtsleeve. Using his sleeve to wipe his eyes, he walked to stand next to Vicki. "You said you loved me?"

Vicki turned and nodded, "Umhuh. I feel you are the little brother I never had. That is why I love you so much and worry about you." She stroked his hair from his eyes. "You know how you love Carolyn as your sister? Well I love you like you are my little brother. I worry about you?"

David hugged her around her waist and laid his head on her breasts. "Worry about me?" He rolled his chin up and peered into the loving look of her eyes. He watched her smile and nod.

Vicki kissed the top of his head. "Yes, when you were sick, when you went missing, I was sick with worry over you and I was in tears, and when your mother . . . " She paused to carefully chose her words. "When your mother wanted to take you away, I was sick at heart thinking I would not see you again. So, I guess you can say I know how you feel about my getting married."

"I didn't mean it." His voice was low and soft. David laid his head back against the softness of her breasts. The feeling he got from cuddling close to her made him feel save and secure in her hold. He sniffed closing his eyes he could hear her heart beating strongly against his ear. Then her voice vibrated against his ear as she spoke.

"I know."

David looked up at her," But the old house? It does not have any modern conveniences. You will hate it there. Why can't you just stay here like you and Burke were going to do?"

Vicki hugged him and rested her chin on top of his head. "David, I am sure that Barnabas will allow me some leeway to put in electricity, a phone, and bathrooms. I am going to marry him. He has a house and would expect us to live in that house."

David looked up at her and sighed, "He is not Burke."

Vicki chuckled and looked down at him, "No, Burke was very different from Barnabas but in many ways they shared the same point of views and they both love me. When I marry Barnabas, David, I will be just like you a Collins and I won't be that far and I will come to see you every day."

David looked down at his shoes and felt that he wanted to keep that feeling while she held him in her arms. "But Vicki, you won't be my governess any more."

"That is true, but you better bet I will be finding you someone you along with your Aunt Elizabeth will like. I will be checking your homework and expecting you to come and visit me at the old house if you have any problems. I even hope you will spend the night with us sometime."

David released her and stepped over to his desk, "Do you really mean it?"

Vicki laughed, "David, I will let you pick out your own room and you can put some of your things in there so it feels more like home." David smiled and sniffed. "You love me?"

Vicki followed him to his desk. She chuckled softly as she tuned him to face her. "Yes, I love you and nothing could ever change that. "

David hugged her back and she smiled as she turned to go step out of his room. He knew she would be heading back down stairs and David stopped her at the door. "Vicki?"

She paused with her hand on the doorknob and turned to look at him. "Yes?"

He sat down at his desk, "I'm sorry, please tell Barnabas I am sorry will ya?"

Vicki chuckled, "Of course I will but I think I will let you tell him later. Right now, I would like you to finish your homework and when you have completed your assignments meet me downstairs and I will take you into Collinsport for an ice cream."

David smiled, "You bet I will."

He pulled his books forward and opened them. Vicki laughed as she went through the door and headed back downstairs.