Existentialistic Nihilism

"But inside, he was glad you were gone."

"And you sound just like the other Michael I know. Full of piss and wind."

Jack blinked as he looked at the woman that he called mother enter and came to stand in front of Michael. It was hard seeing the archangel inhabit the man that raised and looked after him. He was smiling but it wasn't Dean Winchester. And he didn't want to believe that Dean was glad that he had been dead.

"And you," Michael was saying looking at the newcomer, "Oh he has hated you for years. Been waiting for you to make a mistake so he could… gank your ass. Waited to drop the ax when you truly leave him and Sam behind."

Jack looked at his adoptive mother. Angela had always maintained a gentle and loving countenance when they were together. He knew that it was genuine, and her love existed in many forms. It was in how she cared for their family, when she fought for them and the love she showed for people in general. He couldn't believe that Dean would hate her.

Looking at her, Jack was puzzled at the way she was staring at Michael. Like she was trying to convince herself that while it looked like Dean, it wasn't, but that wasn't right. Sam and Castiel had let the words flow over them and it stood to be that she did the same. She did stand up to the archangel and issued the challenge, calling on the army that had been built before he was born and maintained by the most trusted friend, the Avian, Kesset.

"And what does it all mean?" Angela had stepped closer and leaned forward to stare at Michael in the eye. "What does any of this mean?"

Jack was young and still learning things. Sam did his best to explain human nuances to him and Castiel and Dean did their parts, but Sam was the one that directed Jack to understanding how his adoptive mother thought. He knew that she was unconventional in convincing people. Sam called it a tactician's mind. Castiel said it was mind games. To Jack, it was merely how his adoptive mother was.

"Still playing your little mind games, Israfel."

Jack blinked at that. That was the second time that Michael had called her that. Castiel had explained that Angela had been known by many names because of the long life she had lived before she met the Winchesters. It was not uncommon for someone to address her by another name, especially if she had crossed them before. Yet, that name was different. It had caused even Sam to flinch slightly, like it was ruining something good. He sensed that to Sam it was and how Michael was using it…

Jack knew that Angela was a reincarnated angel as well as Sam because of the connection between their souls. Sam tried explaining it as best as he could and it was confusing, but it helped Jack understand why they were cautious about introducing Jess to people. It baffled him that Angela made no effort to hide the baby when they were looking for Michael and he found it strange that Michael hadn't mentioned going after the baby.

"Oh, they aren't mind games," Angela replied, "Just trying to understand why a nihilistic archangel is throwing an unnecessary temper tantrum. Makes me wonder why God created you in the first place."

"God left. You know that."

Angela stared at Michael for the longest time. Jack thought that she was trying to read his mind or try to break in to free Dean. She studied the archangel inquisitively, "Oh I know. He left the world in the hands of the Winchesters and you know the story of the Malachi of Absolution, but I forgot… Your worthless hide can't see past your nose." She ended up deadpanning the last sentence.

"Worthless? Me?" Michael looked at Angela like she was delusional. "You're the one that was worthless."

"And yet I have an army that is killing your supercharged monsters as we speak," Angela replied with a puzzled frown. "One that has been called time and again throughout millennia."

Michael stared at her before smirking, "No. You can't possibly have that many."

"Do you want to test me?" Angela had leaned in closer. "Or are you proving to be the coward that you are?"

Jack watched as he could see Michael getting angry at her. He was concerned that the chains wouldn't hold Michael even with Bobby's improvements. Looking at his adoptive mother, it seemed clear that she was. If this was her mind games, it was dangerous. He wanted to say something but by that time Sam and Castiel had come in with a machine that Sam was going to use to get inside Dean's head.

Michael went back to smirking. Jack narrowed his eyes as he watched him as the archangel observed Sam and Angela together. Jack had observed enough times to know that they didn't always verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Most of the time it was like they would stare and then nod. Other times it was sounds like whimpers and growls and mostly from Angela. Jack always liked the affection that they showed because it was the same but in a different form when extended to him.

"How nice it must be to not have to say everything you want to say when you're a mated pair," Michael was saying. "Tell me, you do the same for Jess?"

Jack felt ready to jump in and punch the archangel and knew Sam was probably feeling the same way along with Castiel. Angela probably did, but it didn't show, and Jack took his cue from her despite his anger showing on his face. It prompted Michael to taunt, "And there is Israfel's manipulation. She's got you whipped."

"Reason instead of your boring blathering," Angela countered in a bored tone.

It clearly had the effect she intended as Jack watched the surprised look from the lack of response. Everyone calmed down and Sam flipped the switch to delve into Dean's mind leaving Jack with Angela. Once they were alone, Jack asked, "Why?"

"Why what, Jack?" Angela looked at him.

"Why did you speak to Michael like that?"

Angela seemed to think about things for a time, trying to come up with the best way to explain. Finally, she said, "I was raised in a time when you learned to say one thing and mean another. I was taught to use it when engaging in battle. Sam may have mentioned that I have a tactician's mind and… I do. I can strategize and react based on observation."

"But it was like you wanted him to break the chains," Jack frowned in puzzlement.

"People can say something and not mean it when they are pleasant and can try to hide it," Angela replied as she walked through the bunker, checking the locks and security. "True honesty often comes when the barriers are down. Usually in anger or in extreme sorrow. The Michael of this world never liked me, and it stood to be that Apocalypse world Michael would be the same."

Jack thought about it for a moment and then asked, "So… you were trying to find out what kind of person this Michael is and what his plans are?"

Angela gave a slight smile, "Simple but the gist." She gave an affectionate ruffle of Jack's hair. She then sighed, "But it's complicated. Sam and Cas are walking into a battle that… It can be hard."

Jack frowned, worried, "You don't think he can get Dean back?"

"Oh, I believe they can," Angela countered. She looked at Jack and studied him.

Jack found that she had been doing that a lot. Ever since he came back to life, she always looked at him as if to see if he was really there. Sometimes she would pat his shoulder or ruffle his hair or just hug him for no reason. She had done the same to Dean when Michael left him. He prompted, "Mother?"

Angela shook her head like she had been in a trance and smiled at him. She ran her fingers through his hair. "Meaning and purpose is found in our experiences and how we live our lives with our choices. Sometimes they don't always turn out well. Then we have to live with them. Some people find focus and purpose in darkness, trauma, and it can make them stronger. In the light, it can be even stronger."

Jack was puzzled by it and let it go. He would think on it and maybe ask Castiel later. Right now, he had to focus on making sure everything was fine. He made rounds of the bunker mostly to check in on Hibah and Jess before coming back around to find Angela staring at the entrance to the bunker.

He didn't have long to wonder when Maggie and the other hunters came in saying that they were just ahead of Michael's monsters. Jack knew that Angela wasn't lying about her army. It existed, but neither he nor the Winchesters or even Castiel knew the exact numbers. Only that it was authorized by the godly beings and was under the command of the one who was the earthbound angel. They would help keep the people safe. They just had to worry about the ones that were heading to the bunker.

"Don't worry Jack," Angela said as she kept staring, "There is always someone who will defend the ones they love." She turned and gave him a slight smile of encouragement. "Just trust me."

Jack nodded, not fully understanding why she said that. He trusted her implicitly. She had never lied to him and tried to explain the best she could. He didn't always understand her actions, but he trusted in her care for him and for their family. Sam did the same thing, which was why he let her go when Dean had first been taken by Michael.

The growl caught Angela's attention when she locked her gaze on one of the hunters. Jack knew that she had been prone to vamping out mostly when she was startled. Most of the hunters had learned to ignore it. Now that she was deliberately doing it at a hunter, they were all tense and ready to react until the hunter she was staring and growling at revealed that he had been turned and had let the horde of monsters in.

Jack stayed back to watch over Sam and Castiel. It occurred to him that if they died here, they would be lost forever, and he didn't want that. He stood back and watched as Angela charged forward, managing to avoid the bullets. He knew she had been changed when Hibah did what she did, but he had never seen the results of that. Now he was as she moved to fight and protect the other hunters.

It wasn't enough as he watched as a couple grabbed her from behind and started ganging up on her. Jack knew that they couldn't turn her, and she could get bitten and scratched without much problem, but they could hurt her, like they were doing to the others. He looked at the other hunters as they were getting beaten. He felt helpless and yet, he knew there was a way.

He snapped when he saw one of the monsters head in the direction where the baby was. His eyes widened just as Angela's eyes flared and she shouted something. At the same time, he raised his hand and shouted, "No!"

It was a risk and he had to. Even though it would burn off a part of his soul, he had to do something. He tapped into his abilities and almost didn't realize that someone had clamped a hand on his shoulder. When the monsters were gone, he turned and his eyes widened, "Sam?"

"Close, but not exactly."

Jack shifted to see that Sam was still attached to the machine with Castiel. He looked at the Sam standing before him and took a step back. He frowned, "But… how?"

The Sam standing in front of him gave a smile, "Let's just say that there is always someone looking out for the ones they love." He glanced behind Jack and his smile deepened.

Jack shifted to see Angela standing there looking at Sam with a knowing look. He was still frowning, "Is this… that soul thing Sam was telling me about?"

"Pretty much," Sam replied. He sobered and continued, "Jack, what you did, I thank you, but don't do that again."

"I had to. Jess…"

"Is fine. She was never in danger," Sam reassured. He grinned, "There is always a plan."

Jack nodded at that. He looked at Angela who was looking at Sam. He looked back. "And Sam? In Dean's head?"

"I'm thinking that someone is there to help." Sam shared a look with Angela before looking back at Jack. "Everything will be fine, Jack. There is meaning in everything."

Before Jack could say anything, the Sam was gone. He saw the real Sam still there and then turned to look at Angela. She had come up to him and was checking him over. "Mother?"

"Don't ever do that again," she said as she hugged him tightly. She whispered, "I can't lose you again."

Jack wrapped his arms around her, not caring that the other hunters were watching. "I'm sorry," he whispered back.

"It's time I teach you alchemy magic."

Jack watched as she released him and walked away. More likely to check on Jess. He blinked at the abruptness of her words and initially it hurt. It passed though. He had scared her. Scared her enough that she felt she had to do something about it. He did do something foolish, using his soul to fuel his powers. He had good reasons, but he sensed that this was one of those choices that was going to bring down a lecture.

He didn't regret what he did. He would do anything to protect his family, but he was starting to understand what Sam, Dean and Angela went through when faced with the choices they had. He also could see that for the most part, while there was some guilt, there were no regrets. When he was dying, every moment spent with Dean, meant everything and he wouldn't trade it for the world.

A/N: Jack watches as Sam and Cas try to rescue Dean and ends up getting a surprise or two from Angela. Tag to Nihilism.