Authors' note: I'm sorry you haven't heard from me in a while. The previous chapters I've posted where already finished so I need to write some new material. On top of everything my computer crashed…and…need I say more? I want to thank you for your lovely comments and I will try to update regularly. Wishing you also all the best for 2010!

McJinx

Chapter 11 Don't Go Breaking My Heart…

Meredith lay in the half light of the bedroom, the sheets barely covering her pregnant belly as she watched Derek sleep. As he stirred, she could make out the outline of his features, glowing dark-blue from the rays of moonlight that crept in through the curtains. It was still a few hours from sunrise but Meredith had awoken early. She reminisced about getting up but then decided to give sleep another try. She rolled onto her side and molded her shape to Derek's, appreciating the warmth radiating from his body. A few hours later, Meredith awoke again when something brushed her cheek. She opened her eyes and found Derek – head in his palm – watching her sleep with a smile curling at his lips. She smiled as he leaned closer to place another kiss on her cheek and then burying his head into her shoulder and breathing in her hair. His strong hand lay over her protruding stomach as he rolled over in the sheets to be even closer to her.

"I have one of my check-ups planned today," Meredith softly said as Derek started caressing her belly. Derek sat up in swift movement and looked down on her, "How late?"

"Half past two."

Derek let out a frustrated moan and dropped back on the bed. Then he rolled over to Meredith, an apologetic look on his face, "I'm sorry…I can't join you," he softly said. "They've scheduled that aneurysm I've told you about."

"It's OK," Meredith smiled, "It's only a check-up…no biggy."

Derek hugged Meredith and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled, lightly rubbing Derek's stomach under his shirt. He responded by caressing her face, gazing at her peaceful expression.

* * *

Twenty-six weeks…

Meredith lay on the examination table, craning her neck to see the grainy image on the screen beside her while her gynecologist rolled the ultrasound sensor over her swelling belly.

"Look, that's the spine you can see here and that's…," the gynecologist's eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to the screen.
"What?" Meredith breathed.

The gynecologist stared at Meredith for a few seconds and then he turned to grab a towel to wipe her belly.

"Er…Can you sit up, Meredith?"

Slowly…very slowly, Meredith removed her feet from the stirrups, first the right and then the left. She slid her body to the edge of the examination table and placed both feet on the ground. Something in the gynecologist's voice had caused her to shiver and she was sure that something was dreadfully wrong.

"Is something wrong with my baby?" she swallowed hard.

"Please…take a seat Meredith."

Meredith couldn't help the tears that suddenly started to build up from her eyes, "Please, tell me what's wrong," she stammered...

The gynecologist took in a deep breath, "Your baby is too small for the duration of the pregnancy, Meredith…and I don't like the fact that you have been losing weight instead of gaining it. If things continue the way they are, I'm going to have to insist you go on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Further I'd like to supplement your nutritional needs with injections."

"Why injections?" Meredith asked, her voice sounding small caused by her animosity against injections.

"Because if you take them orally, they can cause nausea and throwing up, won't be doing you much good in the weight thing," the gynecologist smiled.

"I can see your point," Meredith grimaced.

"OK! I want you back here in two weeks to check your and the baby's weight. If anything else comes up, you should come in immediately."

Meredith slowly stood, her eyes slightly watering as she shook the gynecologist's hand, "Thank you."

The gynecologist nodded, "I'll see you in two weeks Meredith…and don't worry too much. I'm sure, we've caught this thing in time. Oh…and I'll have the injections delivered to your house this afternoon."

* * *

Derek sat down on the edge of the chair, bent down and kissed Meredith's forehead. She opened her eyes and smiled, "Hey."

"Hi…Ready to go home?"

Meredith nodded and walked beside Derek to the parking lot.

"Are you OK?"

"Why?"

"You're awfully quiet," Derek said as he grabbed Meredith's hand.

Meredith took in a deep breath and let it out, then she continued, "It's the baby…it's too small."

"What do you mean?"

Meredith let out a sigh. "I'm twenty-six weeks pregnant but the baby is too small for the duration of my pregnancy…and I've lost weight instead of gaining it."

Derek swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. After a few moments, Meredith continued, "If I don't gain enough weight, he'll put me on complete bed rest." A single tear slid down Meredith's face. Derek halted and pulled Meredith closer to him. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and then laid his cheek on top of Meredith's head. "Shhh, everthing's gonna be OK."

* * *

Meredith sat on the bed, lost in thought when Derek entered with a tray, "You should eat something!"

Meredith looked up, swallowing hard, "I really can't Derek. I won't be able to keep anything down. Tomorrow I'll eat…I promise."

Derek gave her a look of concern but nodded, "OK but I have the supplements your gynecologist sent over. Do you want me to give you the injection?"

Meredith nodded, pulling up her sleeve.

"Put your arm out…I'll be gentle," Derek smiled as he watched the horrific look on Meredith's face. She bit down on her lower lip and tasted blood as she watched the tip of the needle slide into her skin.

"Ouch!"

"There…all done," Derek smiled as he withdrew the needle and gently put a band-aid on Meredith's arm, "That wasn't so bad…was it?" When Meredith didn't respond, Derek leaned over, slipping a hand under her chin and drawing her head up to meet his blue eyes. His gaze was so intense, so direct, Meredith felt as if he looked directly into her soul. She shook her head and buried her face in her hands, suddenly sobbing uncontrollably. Derek sighed, pulling away Meredith's hands from her face, "Shhh…it's OK." In an impulse of tenderness, he lifted her to her feet and held her.

"I…I'm s…so scared. I should have listened to you. You said I had to take better care of myself…and o..our baby," she finally hiccupped between soft, heart-wrenching sobs.

"Mere….come on. This isn't your fault. Stop being so hard on yourself," Derek said reassuringly as he kissed the top of Meredith's head.

"M'mmy…mommy?"

Through Meredith's soft sobs, Derek heard the muffled voice of Laura at the back of the house.

"It's Laura…she's awake!"

Meredith quickly wiped away the tears that burned her eyes and freed herself from Derek's embrace but to her surprise, he stopped her, "It's OK…I'll go to her." Meredith nodded, breathing out a shaky breath in relief. When Derek had left the bedroom, she walked into the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face and get ready for the night.

* * *

Derek woke the next morning, the sound of running water in his ears. He sat up, stretched and then headed into the bathroom. Meredith was in the shower, hot water running down her naked back when he closed the door. She heard the door click shut and invitingly slid open the shower door, "Join me?" Derek nodded, quickly undressing before stepping into the shower stall. Inside, he wrapped his arms lazily around Meredith, welcoming the stream of water as it cascaded over their bodies, "How are you feeling today?"

Derek glanced at Meredith and when she turned in his arms, the light caught her eyes and it was almost as if they sparkled like stars in the sky. God, how much he loved her! A soft moan escaped him when he leaned in and kissed her. When they pulled apart, they were both breathing hard.

"That definitely makes me feel better?" Meredith smiled tenderly, reaching up and touching Derek's face.

He caught her hand, his expression suddenly more serious, "Just promise me one thing Mere!"

"What?"

"Promise me…you'll take it easy. Get off your feet from time to time and take time to eat. I'm keeping my eyes on you!"

Meredith nodded quietly, understanding Derek's question and concern. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him one last time before getting out of the shower.

* * *

"OK…what do you have for me?" Meredith asked as she entered the ER. As the trauma surgeon on call, she'd been summoned from an on call room. She'd barely had any rest all day when her pager had sounded.

"Fifteen-year-old male with acute abdominal pain in his right lower quadrant," Lexie said rapidly, "Elevated white count and acute nausea indicates appendicitis. He's in cubicle three!"

"OK…let's have a look," Meredith swept her hair back into a rubber band and quickly washed her hands before approaching the young patient. She glanced at the chart. "Johnny? My name is Dr. Grey and I'm here to evaluate you for possible surgery."

"Johnny glanced up at Meredith, his brown eyes full of pain and an unmistakable hint of fear, "Doc, you have to help me. My stomach hurts so bad!"

"I will," Meredith promised, placing a reassuring hand on Johnny's arm, scanning his vital signs before sending Lexie a sharp glance, "Has he been given anything for the pain yet?"

Lexie nodded, "I gave him 4 of morphine, twenty minutes ago."

"I think we'd better give him another dose," Meredith said sternly. Lexie nodded and proceeded to give Johnny another dose of morphine as Meredith continued to examine her patient.

"Lexie…have you performed any scans?" Meredith asked when she finished her physical exam.

"No…I thought I'd wait to see what you required."

Meredith gave an absent nod, when she realized she could go either way; A CT scan would be OK but given Johnny's young age and the elevated white count, she was fairly certain, Lexie's diagnosis was correct. The CT scan would be a waste of time and she didn't want a delay to cause Johhny's inflamed appendix to burst.

"OK…take him to OR three!"

Meredith placed the chart on the bed and helped push Johnny's gurney upstairs. As they reached the OR, she left Johnny in Lexie's capable hands while she took time to scrub in. Meredith finished operating on Johnny, thankfully catching his engorged appendix before it ruptured, only to receive another trauma call. Wryly preparing herself for a long day, minus any rest, Meredith hurried back to the ER.

"What's going on?" she asked, stepping into the Er. There was a lot of blood surrounding the male patient lying on the gurney and with a quick glance, she could access he was bleeding from his head, nose and mouth, not to mention the places she couldn't see. Two nurses pumped blood and fluid on a level-one rapid infuser while another one scurried to get blood for additional lab work.

"He took a swan dive off the roof of his parents' two-story house, leaving behind a suicide note. He hit the concrete driveway from an estimated distance of twenty feet," the Paramedic stated.

"Lexie…he needs to get to an OR, stat," Meredith yelled when she noticed her younger sister, ignoring the worried expression on Lexie's face, "He's losing blood faster than we can pump it in and I'm certain, he's bleeding internally."

Lexie shook her head but followed Meredith to the OR-section, "Doesn't he need a neuro consult?"

"NO…he needs to get to the OR immediately," Meredith snapped. Lexie turned and ran off in the opposite direction, "I'm calling Derek."

Meredith bit her bottom lip but continued pushing the gurney to the OR. Inside, she glanced at the scrub nurse, "Hook him up to the monitor…quickly!" The scrub nurse set up the monitor while Meredith inserted a needle into the patient's muscle.

"We're losing blood pressure," one of the nurses warned Meredith, "Do you want more blood or saline?"

"Both!" Meredith snapped as she ran into the wash room to scrub. Her adrenaline started pumping, heightening her awareness as she prepared quickly for surgery. When Meredith entered the OR, she noticed the patient's condition wasn't any better. In fact, if anything, he looked worse. Feeling slightly sick to her stomach, Meredith asked for a ten-blade scalpel. First she started on the young man's abdomen and when she saw he had a severely fractured kidney, she knew things were worse than she'd feared. She took the damaged kidney out but the bleeding was profuse. She could barely see where the source of the bleeding was coming from in the sea of blood.

"We're losing him," the anesthesiologist, warned. "I can't sustain his blood pressure."

"Keep trying," Meredith said, praying she could find the source of his bleeder. Sweat dampened the back of her scrubs, running down the sides of her face. She tried to tackle one emergency at a time.
"Blood pressure is gone, he's in PEA."
"No!" Meredith didn't so much as glance at the heart monitor, keeping her gaze focused on what she was doing. One more stitch and she'd have the artery closed off. Then she could take a look at his spleen. Maybe that was the other major source of his bleeding.
Finishing with the artery, she quickly switched the focus of her exploration on the area of his spleen, cutting the artery in an effort to minimize the blood loss. But once the artery was open, she realized the blood wasn't pulsing at all, but simply oozing at a slow rate.
Horrified, she glanced up at the monitor, realizing it was too late.

"Didn't you hear me, Doctor Grey?" the anesthesiologist asked. "I said he's gone."

Meredith momentarily squeezed her eyes closed and dropped her chin to her chest. She hadn't heard…hadn't wanted to believe what her professional eyes were telling her. After taking a moment to compose herself, she lifted her head and glanced at the clock. "Time of death; 14.32."

When Meredith dropped the scalpel and stepped away from the operating table, a spasm of pain shot through her. She slowly walked to the OR wall and leaned against it. She groaned as a new pain arose. The scrub nurse was at her side in a matter of seconds, "Are you OK Doctor Grey?"

The pain subsided and Meredith gave her a weak smile, "It's OK…it's just…" Meredith winced as another pain shot through her. This time it was lower and an urge to push came with it. She looked up at the scrub nurse, panic in her eyes, "Don't leave me…it's my baby!"

"Meredith?"

Derek rushed inside the OR, scooping up Meredith and carrying her to an exam room, "Get a gynecologist in here," he snapped at a nurse. He laid Meredith down gently as she tensed in pain again.

"Oh…God, please help me?...My baby...!"

To be continued…