Chapter Ten

Rachel glanced up as her office door opened. She smiled at the man there, studying his hesitant manner and shy face. Hair dye streaked his dark hair with blond, and sculpted spikes stood out in every direction. His brown eyes could only be described as "puppy dog eyes." Rachel took his appearance in stride. Over the years, the hairstyles coming from Earth had shifted to spikes and streaks. As long as they didn't violate military regulations, Sheppard hadn't complained. This Daniel Brady was no exception to that rule.

"Lieutenant, come in." She smiled and motioned him to a chair looking out onto the balcony. "I have to admit I was surprised you changed your appointment with Dr. Saunders to me."

Brady shrugged. "Saunders has been on Atlantis for years. You haven't."

Rachel lifted her chin in understanding. The man wanted to talk to someone with the same experience of coming to Atlantis just before Earth's destruction. "I see. Well, I'm glad you've come, and I'm here to listen as needed."

"I know." He dropped into the chair and braced his elbows on his knees. "I'm still a little shocked at how it all went down. I mean, I was there. I knew about the threat of nuclear war, but I couldn't help. My orders brought me here. I left my wife and son on Earth with the promise that I'd be home in a year." He shook his head. "Now, I'll never see them again."

Rachel studied him, unable to quell the suspicion rising in her. Brady's words sounded sincere, but he acted completely separated from the emotions losing his family should have caused. She decided to probe a little deeper. "How old was your son?"

"One." He smiled. "Walking, jabbering, getting into everything. I know my wife wasn't thrilled that I was leaving, but I couldn't avoid it. Orders are orders, you know?"

"I understand." She crossed her legs at her ankles, deciding to let his mention of his family lead the conversation. "Do you have a picture?"

Brady blinked and stared at her for a moment, as if he didn't know what to say. He recovered quickly, but Rachel saw the flash of apprehension that touched his eyes. "Yeah. In my quarters." The answer sounded defensive.

She smiled, trying to undo whatever offence she'd caused. "I'd love to see it sometime."

He nodded, not looking at her. Then, he shook his head. "I just don't quite know what to do right now. I mean, Earth wasn't supposed to die. We weren't supposed to be stuck out here. And, from what I hear, Dr. Weir hasn't sent anyone to the Alpha site in the Milky Way like she promised."

Rachel frowned. "That's news to me, Lieutenant."

He shrugged. "Well, you know how rumors are. Sometimes they're not always accurate."

He was clearly angry. Rachel sensed it in everything he said. Rather than dwelling on his anger, she smiled. "Can you tell me about your wife?"

He glanced at her, the flash of apprehension crossing his face again. "I'd rather not." Before she could speak, he held up a hand. "It's not that I don't want to, it's that I don't know if I can tell you about her. I mean, she's only been gone for a few weeks. I'm still not sure what to think about that."

"It's called shock and denial, Lieutenant." She smiled. "We've all experienced it. We're all experiencing it now. Anyone who has ever lost someone knows the denial that comes. What I'm concerned about is this anger you seem to keep inside of you."

"What do you expect me to do with it?"

"Find a punching bag. Spar with someone. Run it off." She shrugged. "There are always outlets we can find. My concern is for your mental health and stability. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I'm not worried about you right now. You seem to have buried this so deeply that, even while talking about this loss, you're totally removed. Distant."

He chuckled though there was no humor in his face. "You're not what I expected. You don't pull any punches."

"Never have." She gave him a rueful grin. "Over the years, I saw too many people soothed and babied into a false state of happiness. I'm not the psychologist that'll write you a prescription for antidepressants without first determining that there is a legitimate chemical imbalance. If you continue to come to me, you'll get pretty much the same treatment that I'd expect someone to give to me. I don't want to be soothed and babied. I want to deal with my issues. And I assume you want to deal with yours."

He nodded again. "You assume correctly."

"Good." She glanced down at the tablet in her hand although she'd taken very few notes. "If you still want to talk, I'm free for a while. If not, I suggest you find an outlet for the anger you're denying. And that you find time to think about what you really want out of these appointments. I don't expect you to be totally emotional, but I do expect you to feel what you're saying. There's a difference."

"I understand." He stood. "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome." She shook his hand. "If you'd like, I can set you up with an appointment in three days."

"Sounds good." Brady took his leave then, and Rachel stared after him. She couldn't name the feeling that crept into her mind, but it wasn't good. Brady seemed dispassionate rather than in denial, almost like he'd read a script. She knew that some men reverted to such techniques when faced with severe trauma, but they always showed their emotions in their eyes. Brady's eyes had been flat except for the two flashes of apprehension she'd seen.

And his comment about Weir sending ships to the Milky Way came out of nowhere. During her last appointment with Elizabeth, she had counseled the woman to send the Daedalus to the Milky Way Alpha Site. But, the break-in at their own Alpha Site, combined with the mystery of the missing colony had sidetracked their efforts. Perhaps no one truly wanted to face what had happened on Earth. It had been a few days since she spoke with either Sheppard or Weir concerning the operations of Atlantis. After this troubling meeting with Brady, Rachel decided she needed to remedy that as quickly as possible.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Sheppard rubbed his neck as he walked toward his quarters. He was tired, dirty, and angry. The trip through the Stargate ended with less-than-desirable results, and he spent the afternoon in a meeting rather than taking the shower he wanted. At Jeneb's request, he led his team back to the colony, this time accompanied by Lorne. They hoped to find the men at home this time and learn why the village had been destroyed. Instead, they found nothing. The rubble of the village remained, but not a single life sign appeared on the planet. The caves where Sheppard and his team found the women and children were abandoned without any clue as to where the people had gone. McKay recovered around fifty gate addresses from the DHD, but that would take a while to search all those worlds.

In the meantime, Jeneb's government went into an uproar. Anna and Lorne tried to smooth ruffled feathers, but current politicians held less respect for them than in previous years. While they knew Anna as the one to free them from Nephthys, that history was about a hundred years old. It gave the Lornes a measure of respect, but their influence over Jeneb's ruling council had waned. The council told Lorne in no uncertain terms that, since the Lanteans' visit to the colony preceded the disappearance of the people, the Lanteans needed to find them. Sheppard returned to Atlantis to sit in a briefing room with Lorne and Weir while they hashed out their plan of action.

The idea of a quiet evening to himself appealed more than he thought it would. After being around people who either yelled, cajoled, or grumbled for most of the day, he just wanted to sit in is quarters, drink a beer, and watch a movie. Maybe. Right now, he might just collapse into bed after taking a long, hot shower.

The door to his quarter slid open, and Sheppard stepped inside. He dropped his uniform jacket over the arm of the chair next to the door and turned to sit down. Then, he froze. Nadia lay on his bed, not wearing much of anything. She moved seductively, and Sheppard frowned. "How long have you been here?"

She shrugged. "Not long." Looking around, she smiled. "I thought a change of scenery would be nice."

"Yeah." He wasn't totally convinced. In all the time that they'd been together, he'd never invited her to his quarters. Rather than staring at her, like she wanted, he dropped into the chair and began to unlace his boots. "Listen, it's been a long day, and I'm not sure what kind of company I'll be tonight."

She slid her long legs off the bed and sauntered over to him, a small pout on her face. "Come on, Colonel." Her hands landed gently on his shoulders and began massaging the tense muscles there. She leaned down, pressing herself into him as she whispered in his ear, "I'm here to listen."

Sheppard froze as she massaged his neck, growing more tense as the seconds passed. "What do you want, Nadia?"

Her hands paused for a moment. "Why would I want anything?" Her tone sounded forcefully lightened, almost like she tried not to whine. "I haven't seen you at all today, and yesterday you barely said hello. I thought we could spend the evening together, maybe, you know. . . ." She leaned back over him and kissed the back of his neck.

Sheppard jumped to his feet, startling both of them. He had never reacted this way to Nadia, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" She folded her arms and stared at him. "I mean, other than the fact that you haven't been around for the last few days. I miss you, John. And I thought we could spend some time together."

"Yeah, okay." He held up a hand when she moved around the chair to get close to him. "Just. . .stay over there."

That had an effect. She furrowed her brow and pursed her lips into a pout. "John?"

Even the tone of her voice irritated him. He covered his face with his hands and walked toward the window. What was he doing? He'd been with this woman for nearly a year, and he suddenly couldn't stand the sight of her. Rachel's face crept into his mind, and he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Did he really want to drop Nadia like this? While his feelings had obviously changed, he still cared enough about her as a person to want to keep from hurting her.

Finally, he turned from the window. "Look, like I said earlier, I'm not in the best of moods. This day has turned into a nightmare, and I just want some time. Alone. In the quiet."

"Is that so?" The simpering disappeared, replaced by anger. "I knew this was a bad idea, but I thought that you'd enjoy it. I guess I was wrong!" Her bare feet slapped on the floor as she stomped over to the bed. She snatched up the robe and threw it around her shoulders.

"Nadia, wait."

"No." She opened the door before she'd finished tying the robe around her, giving everyone in the corridor an eyeful. The two soldiers that saw grinned and hurried away, but the damage was done. Nadia turned to face him in the open doorway. "I guess I'm not what you want tonight. Maybe, in a few days, you'll realize you were wrong!"

The door closed behind her, and Sheppard let out a relieved sigh. The scene she'd created would need to be handled tomorrow, but he wasn't going to face that now. For the moment, he planned to enjoy his shower and some sleep.

An hour later, he stared at the ceiling, still not at ease with what had happened. Nadia had sounded more angry than she should have been. They had experienced difficult days together. It was part of living on Atlantis. But, this time, something else crept into the argument. Or, rather, someone else. Sheppard knew Rachel had not deliberately put him in this situation. He hadn't put himself in this situation. Since that first meeting with Rachel, the chemistry between them had been undeniable. He needed to do something about that. Deciding that he'd handle it as soon as he was able, he rolled over and forced himself to sleep. Sometimes, being a soldier had its advantages.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Daniels froze as an entry request sounded at his quarters. Who would be coming here at this time? He quickly saved the data on his laptop and slid it into a drawer before answering the summons. Nadia blinked at him, dressed in a silvery robe that barely touched her knees. He stared.

"Sorry to interrupt." She glanced over her shoulder. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Daniels stepped back, already gauging her state of mind. "What's wrong?"

"Sheppard." The venom in that statement didn't surprise him.

He motioned to her attire. "I take it the night didn't end like you wanted it to end?"

"No." She glared at him. "I thought I could take his mind off of her, but I was wrong. He wouldn't even let me touch him. Then, when I tried to talk to him, he just told me he had a long day. I'm not even sure what he did today because he wouldn't talk to me at all."

Daniels stayed in his position next to the door, knowing that she'd come to him if he played his cards right. "Are you sure you're okay?"

The concern for her wellbeing worked like a charm. She sauntered toward him, the glint in her eye changing from anger to desire. This woman liked to know the power she had over men. "Not entirely." She ran her finger down his chest. "I could use some cheering up."

Daniels barely kept himself from shaking his head. Relationships weren't part of his job description, but this could work toward his advantage. Rather than immediately taking her up on her offer, he stopped her hand from moving lower than it already had. "You're sure you want to do this after what Sheppard did to you?"

"Hey, if he can mess around on me, why can't I do the same to him?"

He grinned. "Touché." Then, he kissed her. She responded immediately. Later that evening, as she slept on his shoulder, Daniels stared at the ceiling with a satisfied smirk. His seduction was complete, and his direct path to Sheppard had been laid before him. Or, rather, beside him. If Nadia wanted to pursue this relationship, he'd use her to get the information he'd need. Through her, he would bring Sheppard to the ground.

~TBC