Disclaimer
AN: I realized that I totally missed Naruto's Birthday! So this chapter pertains to his birthday.
"So, you take this ball and basically throw it at people."
Thank you for the wonderful explanation.
Another kid laughs at the lackluster explanation,
"What Haru means here is that you throw the ball to people on your team and hope they catch it."
Oh, well that is so much better! Keep on coming with the great explanations people.
Someone else pipes up.
"Daisuke's right, you just keep passing the ball around and try to get to the other team's base."
"And those are on opposite sides, so you have to make it through the other team before you can reach their base." Haru tries again, this time slightly flushed out of embarrassment.
"Yup! So when you score you get a point, and the team that has the most points in the end is the winner." The first kid adds on.
Gaara internalizes the information,
"Ok, I think I get it. So which team am I on?"
All the children seem to realize something as they look at each other awkwardly,
"A-ah...um, we have now an odd number of people. Er..what do we do now, Shura?"
They all turn to look expectantly at one of their members, he turns his gaze from them to Gaara,
"Oh? What do we have here?"
"W-we were wondering what to do since we'd have an odd number of people with him."
"Just put him on one of the teams then. And you didn't answer my question Yui."
Yui laughs awkwardly, a defense mechanism,
"H-hey Shura, no need to be so upset."
The one named Shura sighs his gaze still on Gaara,
"Why am I surrounded by such children?"
Gaara, confirms that he is indeed my child and "what do you mean that he's adopted?" with this,
"Maybe that's because they are children, or are you blind to that fact? Let me enlighten you-" Here he points at himself, "-I am a child, you are also a child. That is, unless you are some sort of evil minion of the Kazekage who's under a henge or putting all of us under a genjutsu."
Shura and the rest of the children gape at Gaara as if he'd grown another head.
Then Shura starts laughing,
"Oh, this is too good. I've finally found someone among all of these children who can match my intellect. Or is it pure chance that you managed to sound somewhat smart?"
Never one to back down from a verbal spar Gaara snarks back,
"Too good? When did you ever think that I was on your level? Ore-sama doesn't have to rely on chance to be of superior intelligence to you."
I think he meant Shukaku by ore-sama...or maybe he's picking up Shukaku's habits.
'Are you sure that you've never met Shukaku?'
"Are you sure that you are of superior intelligence to me?"
The other children watch the exchange nervously as if expecting something to explode.
I suppose this Shura is their leader then.
"Positive." Gaara answers both of our questions.
Shura smiles, one full of teeth and saccharine innocence,
"My, my...full of ourselves aren't we?"
What Gaara does next has me howling with laughter,
"I agree, you are full of yourself, calling those that are the same age as you 'children'."
'Good one child! Go show him who's the real boss here.'
Stunned silence overtakes the yard as Shura visibly struggles and fails to find a response to that,
"Maa, maa...it would seem that I have been bested. Very well, I'll solve your little problem here. You there, go join that team."
"B-but then that team would have five members and…?"
"My name is Karuma."
"And Karuma would be on the team of four…"
Shura gives the poor child a haughty answer,
"You forgot me, Daisuke. There will be an even number."
The others gaze at Gaara in awe, Shura probably never deigns them to be worthy of playing with,
"O-ok...Sure Karuma, you're with Shura, Haru, Hisoka, and Aiko. And I will be on the other team with Yui, Kin, Mitsuko, and Ryuuji..."
And so the afternoon is spent in the glaring sun chasing a little red ball around the opposite ends of the courtyard.
Gaara runs out of chakra near the ten-minute mark and takes his leave to wander back over to the swings. His excuse was that he has a weak constitution, and spends most of his time reading, giving him a reason as to which no one has ever seen him around the village.
Shura watches him with eyes narrowed as he explained this to them.
But he doesn't say anything.
He's a threat.
So I'll be keeping an eye on him.
When Gaara reaches the swings he quickly slips through the fence, peering cautiously behind him.
Shura is walking over to the swing area, it's obscured by a large and convenient rock so he doesn't see Gaara.
Said child pales and quickly squeezes out and drops the sand armor, walking away from where he had exited the courtyard.
"Hey! You there! Yes, you!"
Gaara stops and makes sure that his face is devoid of any emotion as he turns around to face the owner of the voice.
It's Shura.
"O-oh...It's you."
Teal eyes widen minutely, and there is a small intake of breath as Gaara waited, preparing for the worst.
"S-sorry...I mistook you for someone else. Hahaha...I'msosorrypleasedon'tkillmeImaybeanorphanbutIwannalivesodon'tkillmeplease?!" Shura bows deeply, his attitude doing a complete one-eighty.
Gaara deflates a bit, before fully comprehending what Shura just said.
He turns to me eyes questioning.
Me, being the sadist I am, understand completely and I nod.
He walks over to Shura, each step deliberate and slow.
Sand softly crunches underneath his feet.
Shura cowers.
Finally, he stands in front of Shura and pauses for dramatic purposes,
And then in a soft whisper,
"Boo…"
"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Gaara frowns,
"Must you kill my ears? Now people will think that I've murdered someone."
Shura just stares back at him surprised at his petulant tone.
"Well, now that everything is ruined I may as well introduce myself properly."
A deep breath and then,
"My name is Gaara, it is nice to meet you."
"Dude, that sounds so rehearsed." There is a gasp and Shura covers his mouth with both hands after realizing what he just said.
"I know, but it's not like I know anything else to say. Like how are you supposed to introduce yourself to the general populace of people who aren't socially awkward?"
Shura seems to be surprised,
"I have no idea either."
"Oh. Ok, let's be friends."
"What."
"I said, let's be friends."
"I know what you said, but why? Why me?"
"That's simple, Mother said that you make friends with people who are similar to you."
"Hold up just a moment, we are similar?"
"You said that you didn't know how to introduce yourself to the general public of non-socially awkward people. And I don't either, so we are similar."
"And that makes us friends?"
Gaara smiles cheerfully back at his new "friend",
"Yup! You're stuck with me now. So what do you say about going on an adventure?"
"Where to?" Shur asks, curious about the answer that the "demon" would give.
Gaara takes it as Shura's acceptance of the quest,
"Great now follow me!"
Sand envelopes a hapless Shura as Gaara turns around and starts walking again only to stop and ask,
"Ano...where will we go?"
And I feel that it his high time for me to intervene,
'Gaara, remember when I told you about another friend that you'll make in the future?'
"Yeah, the one in the stories?" Shura stills and watches Gaara warily, eyes looking for someone that's not quite there…
I intervene some more,
'Well, let's pay him a visit, starting early never hurt anyone.'
"Alright! To my other friend! Or is he my friend? I don't know since he isn't my friend yet…"
Aaaand Shura's true personality is revealed under the duress of potential death,
"Dude, who the heck are you talking to. And please, please don't say that it's a voice in your head or yourself because that would mean that you're crazy. You being crazy lowers my survival rate and chance of escaping this prison."
Gaara the sweet child that he is, just smiles at poor quivering Shura and says,
"My mother of course! And don't worry, you are going to stay put."
"Y-your mother?! Oookay, you are crazy."
"No, I'm not! She's right there!" Gaara point in my direction, Shura is not amused.
"That's just air!"
I am reminded of the time Rasa said almost the same thing,
"I assure you Shura-kun, I am very much real."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! It talks! The air talks! Now I know that I'm going crazy...Kami-sama help me!"
Wow, never knew that he had both brain and lungs, well I knew he had lungs...but those may even put mine to shame,
"SHUT UP! Sheeesh, it's like you didn't get the message of not killing my ears the first time. Oh wait, you probably didn't. Because you scream so much that you've made yourself deaf."
"Why is no one investigating this? I'm screaming very loudly dammit!"
"Maybe because they all left and holed themselves away into shelter far, far away from us?"
Unfortunately, people value their lives far more than they care about some poor orphan,
"Maaaan, they are cruel. Leaving a poor defenseless child to his fate?"
"Oh! So you admit to being a child!"
"What? No!" Denying something is not healthy...
"But you just did" Gaara points out innocently.
Hook,
"Arrghhh, just get going already. I thought we were on an adventure?"
Line,
"Yes we are, I just need to ask Mother where we are going."
And sinker,
"Then ask!"
"We're going to Konoha."
Please stand by, we must give the poor soul some time to recover from this grievous wound,
"What?! Ma'am that is across the whole freaking desert!"
"Little children should not curse, and I know it's across the 'whole freaking desert' as you so aptly put it." I admonish him.
"I'm not a child!"
"To me you are."
"Good point." Shura concedes.
"Let's go!" And with that, Gaara walks towards Suna's gate.
"Dude, are you sure that they'll let you just waltz out the front door?"
"Umm…" We look at each other, clearly making up plans on the fly is not our forte.
"I take that as a 'no' then. Go to the northeast edge and climb up the cliff there or something, that'll take us out of Suna." He knows that telling us this is potentially shortening his lifespan, right?
"Thanks!" Chirps Gaara happily, doing a fifty-degree turn to the left.
"Why am I helping you again?"
"Because we are friends and you are awesome?"
"Sure kid." When will he get rid of that superiority complex? One of these days *caugh*today*caugh* it's going to get him killed.
"You're the same age as me."
"You are four, right?"
With that, Shura puffs out his chest or tries since the sand doesn't care too much about giving his chest the room for anything other than shallow breaths.
Speaking of which, how has he not passed out from oxygen deprivation and is still talking?
Oh well, we can just go with chakra this time,
"I'm six next month."
"Oh, ok…"
"You're just going to let that go?"
Surprised that the "demon" is capable of letting go of petty arguments?
"Yeah, age before beauty Shura-chan!"
Here we are, the northeastern wall of the village.
Technically, it's a cliff face, but everyone just calls it a wall.
Semantics...
"What?!"
"So that means you go first!" And with that, Gaara flings Shura, still in his sand cocoon towards the patrolling ninja.
"Dude! Why?! What have I ever done to you?!"
"Just kidding!"
Gaara sprints away from the protective walls of the village and out into the desert with Shura in tow while simultaneously burying the shinobi head first into the sand.
That should buy us some time.
Until the Anbu arrive.
Then, the real fun begins.
"Here we come Konoha! And Naruto-kun too!"
"Shut up! If we want to leave we have got to be sneaky and yelling isn't sneaky!"
"Speak for yourself, Old Man!
Arguing like an old couple I see.
Yes, they shall become great friends, maybe Gaara's childhood won't be limited strictly to me, Yashamaru, and his siblings liking him.
"I'm not old, brat!"
And at this he retorts,
"See? You talk like an old man!"
"No comment."
Too easy, kid. Try again, you are just setting yourself up to be thoroughly grilled over a medium low flame here.
But this is Suna we are talking about,
People here don't get grilled, we roast.
Get roasted,
"But that is a comment."
"Oh, just shut up!"
"I thought that you were begging me not to kill you earlier? It's still not too late to offer yourself up as a sacrifice to Jashin-sama. Actually, I'd need three sacrifices, one for Jashin-sama 'cuz he's a god and two for Shukaku-nii 'cuz he's the definition of awesome."
"You call the bijuu Shukaku-nii?" Disbelief is laced through Shuras incredulous response.
"Yup!" Was the overly cheerful reply.
"Man, you have a dysfunctional family."
Gaara sighs sadly as if pondering his life choices,
"I know, you tell me about it."
To which Shura is not amused and deadpans,
"I don't have a family. I live in an orphanage for Kami-sama's sake."
"Oh, then I'll tell you about it myself."
"Don't."
Said child ignores his newfound friend's request and continues on,
"Too late. So you know how the Kazekage is my father? Well, throw that out the window, he's just the donor of half of my genetic material. I have three siblings and the eldest is Shukaku-nii! He's always with me and that is why he's the best ever!" He pauses to catch his breath. "Temari-nee comes after in age and she is pretty badass too, and Kankuro is my other brother. I don't know where to put him so right now he's the spare."
"You call your brother a spare?" More disbelief
"Well...I really have nowhere to place him and he can only have one role…"
Aaaand Kankuro has been denied...pity the cat ears would have been a wonderful addition,
"Kami, that is just so messed up." Great way to sum up all of our lives in one sentence, Shura.
"Yeah, that is why we are dysfunctional. Anyway, unless I reassign Shukaku-nii...oh! I know, I can make him my new dad! Dad, not father 'cuz father sounds icky and so not cool. So he could be my new dad and then I'd have a Mother, a Dad, an older sister, and a brother who's no longer a spare!"
Shukaku?
A dad?
No way is that working...in fact he's probably screaming bloody murder for that slight.
Gaara probably doesn't mean what he says about Shukaku as a dad figure, but Shura's reaction is more than a little amusing,
"Dear Kami-sama, please strike me down now. I am stuck behind a crazy demon who is convinced that the Ichibi is his father and talking air is is mother, the only normal people in his family is his brother and sister."
Me? Talking air?! Excuse you!
"Hey! It's dad, not father. Father belongs to the icky Kazekage! And I have more than two 'normal' people in my family. He's my uncle Yashamaru."
Come on! At least say something about the injustice that has been done to me, reducing me to mere talking air!
"Three? How nice. NOT!" Ouch, three is a nice number, stop being mean.
Right there and then a squadron of Anbu land, stopping the four of us in our tracks,
"Gaara-sama, please return to Suna."
Gaara frowns while Shura nearly sobs in relief,
"Thank you! Finally, get me out of here, please!"
"No"
"Dude, what did you just say? We're going home."
"I said no, and Suna is not my home."
Shura is confused, stumbling over his words,
"Wh-what do you mean not-mean Suna's not your home?"
And that sets everything up perfectly for awesome sayings that sound super creepy when a four year old recites it back at you:
"Home is where the heart is. My heart is not in Suna, literally and metaphorically since I am outside Suna's walls."
"T-then where is home?" You should learn that your mouth will be the end of you...and are the Anbu just going to stand there?
"With me. I love only myself. So I am my own home, wherever I am and wherever I want to be is home."
Hey! You love me right?! I vow to thoroughly question Gaara later about his comment, but right now, I'll just sit back and enjoy the show.
Or float on my back, that works too,
"So your home is Konoha?!"
"Yes."
"You've never even been there!"
"Gaara-sama, if you do not turn around now we will have to take you back by force." The Anbu have finally regained their boring voices, how wonderful!
"If you even touch me I'll kill him."
Shura pales,
"H-hey! Don't joke with my life like that!"
"Who said I was joking?" Cool, the kid is completely serious about this. I guess he really isn't all that invested in Shura.
"M-man, y-y-you w-won't kill me right?"
"..."
"D-don't just l-look at me l-like that.."
Gaara turns around and looks pointedly in the other direction.
I can't believe that the Anbu are not realizing what is happening right under their feet.
Gaara's chakra, what is left of what he borrowed from Shukaku, hides deep underground.
And guess what is underneath the Anbu?
Sand.
They probably have a sensor with them, but I don't think they expect him to pull anything after finding and cornering him.
With a sudden spike in pressure, the chakra tears through the golden granules and wrap themselves around the Anbu tightly.
"Sen to Hitotsu no Itazura Geijutsu: Hiding Annoying People's Heads in Sand Like an Ostrich no Jutsu!"
There they go~!'
One by one, the Anbu are buried bodily and headfirst in the sand.
Shura breaks out laughing at the sight in the background as Gaara takes off running towards Konoha again.
It's a wonderful day to be alive…
Because it's October tenth~!
What better way to celebrate it than trying to visit Naruto in Konoha?
We're definitely not reaching Konoha this year though.
The Anbu have already gotten themselves out of the sand.
Too bad, we do have many more years to go…
Omake: This is why Gaara should NEVER be taught seals
It's a beautiful day outside in Konoha and the third and final stage of the Chuunin exams have already taken off.
And then, it happens.
The fight that they have all been waiting for:
Suna's Seal Master and the Kazekage's son: Gaara versus the Last Uchiha: Uchiha Sasuke
"Ready?! BEGIN!" The proctor drops his arm in a swift decisive motion as the crowd roars its approval.
Gaara looks up at the sky, seemingly nonchalant,
"Huh, the weather here is nicer than it is in Suna, don't you agree Sasuke-chan?"
"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT YOU BASTARD! BE HONOURED THAT YOU ARE A STEPPING STONE TO DEFEATING MY BROTHER!"
The red haired jinchuuriki tilts his head back down to look at his opponent, surprised,
"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I didn't know that you had a brother complex, an inferiority complex, and a superiority complex all bundled up into emotional baggage."
Sasuke turns redder and redder until he resembles one of his beloved tomatoes,
"Y-you….."
Gaara is now panicking,
"A-a-ahh, you lost your voice...should I get a medic?"
"NO!" Sasuke yells while stabbing a Chidori in Gaara's direction.
Said person dodges while happily exclaiming,
"Oh, you found it again."
"BASTARD!" This, of course, does not make Sasuke's mood any better.
So he lets loose a fireball.
Gaara blocks it with his sand while he admires the shower of molten glass flying everywhere.
Oh well, there goes his ultimate defense...
"Can't you find something else to scream? And you are going to lose your voice again if you keep going on like that."
Sasuke, who had been triumphant earlier now finds the tables turned when he finds out about Gaara's awesome taijutsu skills,
"I DON'T CARE!"
"B-but, I thought we had a good relationship…"
"SHUT UP AND HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST ATTACK!"
Sasuke really shouldn't have said that, not with the dwindling reserves of his chakra.
But like they say, "pride comes before fall".
And he is going to fall.
Hard.
Or actually, get buried.
Along with the rest of Konoha.
Two years ago…
"Hmmm? So if I plant these seals here and activate that one all sand in the near vicinity would get sucked into a pocket dimension and then be immediately transported to here?" Gaara muses as he plants another one of his new inventions on the ground.
"It does seem to be the case-"
"GAARA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"
He pales,
"Ohhh...Temari-nee found out about that. Dammit, I threatened Kankuro with decapitation this time too! Why can't he keep his mouth shut?"
Another scream is heard in the distance.
"I suppose big sisters are just that scary, Well, gotta go fast!"
"Where do you think you are running off to, Otōto?!"
And so Gaara continues running from an angry Temari while planting many of his new seals.
She chases him all over Suna.
He plants said seals all over Suna.
And now~
"You wanted my best attack? I'll show you the fury of Suna!"
Gaara thinks that the name is both accurate and cool, Temari was chasing him while he planted those seals after all.
Sand erupts from the seals on his palms.
And it keeps going.
And going.
It just doesn't stop.
You see, Suna is built in the desert.
Deserts usually contain a lot of sand.
Suna is no exception.
So all the sand surrounding and under Suna is pulled out and dumped onto a once jubilant Konoha.
Or rather, what is left of it.
"Hey?! Where did Konoha go?"
"Sasuke?"
"Anyone?"
"No?"
"Ok, I'll just leave."
And so he left.
And went back to Suna.
Much to his dismay, he couldn't find it no matter how hard he looked.
Suna had long crumbled into itself from the lack of support from the sand underneath it and the desert simply swallowed what remained of the village.
That and Gaara took a mini vacation about two years long to go visit Mizu...he heard that the fish there was great.
And so Gaara become one of the most feared nuke-nins in history.
He destroyed two villages.
Fast enough to make Pain cry in frustration.
So the Five became Three.
And Gaara wanders the world happily oblivious but slightly perturbed that he still couldn't find Suna.
But he thinks that they may have just hidden away to keep him out.
They are a Hidden Village after all.
So he goes back to Mizu to enjoy the sushi that he had acquired a taste for.
All was good.
Then Temari and Kankuro finally dig their way out of the sand in Konoha, which is now a desert by the way, ready for some revenge.
AND CUT!
We have here another chapter done~ And an Omake to make up for the temporary Hiatus...though nothing will really make it up to you guys.
Karuma: This is not a mangled version of Kurama, it means Karma.
Sen to Hitotsu no Itazura Geijutsu: One thousand and one pranking arts (Yes, there are a thousand and one)
Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
Mizudoriko